Blog Entry: Bravery and cookies
Today I was brave. It wasn't in the way that a heroine in a book would be brave, but for me, in my life, this was a huge act of bravery.
See, one of the only downsides of moving to Wales was that I had to leave behind a bunch of friends in Leeds, women I really loved to hang out with. I figured I'd make new friends here...and I'm sure I would have by now if I had a day-job or if I took MrD to more playgroups where I could meet other moms.
Unfortunately (in this case), I work at home by myself, and MrD tends to go to those playgroups with his childminder, because that's the only way our schedule will work. So, while I continue to have lots of great friends who make my life infinitely better and richer, I tend to connect with them by phone or email nowadays, rather than face-to-face.
Last week, as we were driving into town, I spotted a woman with a little kid of about MrD's age walking down our street. There was something about her that made me think I'd like her - you know how those snap judgments happen, something about her face or her clothes or the way she was talking to her child...who knows? Anyway, she looked like someone who would be interesting to meet, but I figured that would just have to be left up to chance.
Then Patrick came home a few days ago having briefly chatted to her as they passed each other - it turned out she was just moving into the neighborhood this week. Ooh. Awesome excuse to knock on the door and say hi and welcome to the neighborhood! part of me thought. The other part thought: Yeah, right. I'm sure she's busy and not interested in having random strangers knock on her door to say hi. Forget it.
That second part might have won forever, but today I found myself on my own, without even MrD to look after, without anything I needed to do...and I crossed the street. All the way up the steps to her house, a whole lecture sounded in my head: If you knock on that door, she'll look at you as if you're an alien. You'll be interrupting her in the middle of something important. Just turn around. Turn around now! I rang the doorbell. I half-hoped that she wouldn't be in, so I wouldn't be humiliated.
She was in. And guess what? She was genuinely pleased to see me. It turned out that she's been wanting to meet people here, and has also been trying to get up the nerve to say hi to strangers. She invited me in, and we had a really lovely chat over tea and chocolate cookies. We'll be hanging out again, and introducing our kids.
It would have been SO easy, so much easier, for me to turn around halfway up those steps and drop the whole idea. I could have spent the next six months wishing that I'd had the nerve. I often do, in similar circumstances.
Sometimes bravery is all about leaping on a horse and risking your life. Sometimes it's just risking a moment of social humiliation.
They were really good chocolate cookies.
What have you guys done lately that scared you?