Well, guess what? She did! She liked it AND bought it! And now I can finally announce: my story "The Unladylike Education of Agatha Tremain" will be published in the anthology Wilful Impropriety, a collection of short YA romances set in the Victorian Era and themed around breaking the rules.

It's edited by Ekaterina Sedia, and in the UK, it'll be published by Constable & Robinson on June 7th 2012*; I believe it'll be co-published in the US by Running Press, but I'm not sure yet of the publication date.

This is the first YA anthology I've ever been invited into, which is really exciting for me and feels like a wonderful milestone...but what's even more exciting for me is the list of other authors in the Table of Contents:

• Genevieve Valentine
• Leanne Renee Hieber
• Steve Berman
• Seth Cadin
• Tiffany Trent
• Karen Healey
• Sandra McDonald
• Marie Brennan
• M.K. Hobson
• Barbara Roden
• Mary Robinette Kowal
• Caroline Stevermer

(Did you see that last one? I am in an anthology with Caroline Stevermer!!!! My fan-girl heart just about EXPLODED when I found that out!)

I am so happy about this. And I'm so happy I can finally share the news! I'm dancing over here. :)

___

*And because I would feel too guilty if I gave only an Amazon link, here are the other UK pre-order links that I know of: Foyles, Waterstones,  Amazon.co.uk, and the Book Depository. Whew! :)

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...I really think life might be just about back to normal! MrD is happy and healthy and went to school today. I had my first full writing session in a week and a half this morning, and (oh, please let this be true!) tentatively expect to have another one tomorrow morning, just like a normal week. In the last twenty-four hours, I've written about 2100 words of my WIP (hooray!), and we've all actually started to get some sleep.

I might not stop holding my breath for a while yet, but oh, I feel so much better today than I did last week!

And now that I'm finally starting to catch up on everything that came up during my limbo week...I need help!

I've been asked to write an article for a very cool academic journal about spec-fic writers who've been influenced by Jane Austen. Here are the first names that occurred to me (other than, yes, okay, myself, but I am PRETTY SURE that it would be considered weird and tacky to focus on myself in this article! ;p ), along with a few more already suggested on Twitter:

• Mary Robinette Kowal
• Caroline Stevermer
• Patricia Wrede
• Susanna Clarke
• Madeleine Robins
• Merrie Haskell
• Sarah Prineas
• Karen Joy Fowler
• Marissa Doyle
• Galen Beckett

I am certain that the real list should be a whole lot longer, though. Can you guys help? Who else should I be thinking of for this article?

(Also, another favor request for anyone in the UK: is there any chance I could borrow a copy of Madeleine Robins's latest alternate-Regency mystery novel? [I have her first one already.] I would promise to treat it gently and return it ASAP. The problem is, I am SO BROKE right now that I've actually been forced to institute a book-buying moratorium [wahhh!], and the magazine is cooler than it is wealthy, so there won't be any payments to cover book purchases. However, it is a very cool magazine, and the editor is also a friend, so all in all, I do want to do this if at all possible!)

Any help would be hugely appreciated!

And thank goodness for Netgalley, which is allowing me to read some wonderful new novels ahead of publication. This weekend I read Jesse Andrews's Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, an upper-YA novel which turned out - somewhat shockingly, based on the premise of the book! - to be one of the funniest books I've read in a long time, as well as having an awful lot of heart. You can read my full review here.

What about you guys? What have you been reading lately?

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I'm also waiting to hear back on a freelance writing audition, so that I'll know more about my writing schedule for the next couple of months.

And although, last week, I finally made the scary (as a parent) decision to schedule a mini-writing-retreat for my own WIP, I'm waiting to actually make any solid plans for that until MrD is all better. (Yes, because I'm a mom, and because I'm exhausted, I do find myself having to fight back paranoid worries that I somehow jinxed his health just by making that decision to leave for a retreat...but honestly, I do know that isn't possible. I'm just really tired right now!)

Could I just put it out there to the universe, that...well, right now would be a really good time to get some good news? Any bit of random good news would do, really.

Here are some things that have been helping me through this week, though:

1. Sitting in my favorite café for a stolen hour away from home, drinking a latte and reading an absolutely fascinating research book for my WIP (Riding the Rails: Teenagers on the Move in the Great Depression, by Errol Lincoln Uys - so absorbing and compelling, and disturbingly full of parallels to current issues, too!)

2. Reading this beautiful blog entry by Naomi Kinsman, The Courage of Firsts, all about the terror of trying your absolute hardest (in writing OR life). Here's a quick snippet:

When you put all your creative cards on the table and honestly push yourself to do the very best work you can, there's a bittersweet quality to the experience. You find out exactly how much you can do, today. And often, the critic inside you throws a fit. "Not good enough!" she shouts. No. Maybe the work I can do today isn't the most brilliant work I will ever do. Still, the choice remains. Do I have the courage to at least work, regardless of the quality? Regardless of what people think of me? Regardless of the outcome?

This blog entry spoke so strongly to me, especially because my WIP has absolutely terrified me ever since the heroine first whispered her first lines into my ear. The whole novel is so personal to me, it's such a stretch for me as a writer, it's such a big challenge for so many reasons...

I ran away from it for over a year and a half after my heroine first started whispering in my ear. Instead, I threw myself into projects that felt safer and easier. This spring, I finally wrote the first two chapters of it, but then I buried them for several months because I was so scared of trying and failing that I didn't dare try at all. It seemed so much safer to write something less personal, less me, less vulnerable and scary and hard.

Well. You guys all know that I finally went back to it this August, and I'm working on it now whenever I can. I'm trying to keep in touch with it every single day even during this limbo period, whether it's by reading research books, watching documentaries, or just listening to my playlist and letting my thoughts daydream through the story. As scary as it is, I've finally let down my defenses and thrown my whole heart into it.

And I really loved that blog entry.

3. I also read a perfect escape book for fans of adult romance, which I reviewed over at my romance book-blog, Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance. (BTW, I'm not going to post any links to my romance book-blog from my @stephanieburgis twitter account anymore, but if you want to get those updates via tweet, you can follow my brand-new second twitter account, @eatchocreadrom. I'm slightly uncertain about whether it's okay to keep linking to those blog posts from this blog, either - I read a very smart blog entry by a children's publishing professional yesterday that made me feel nervous about the whole thing! - but I think I will keep on posting those links here...at least for now. It's really hard to balance professional/personal life stuff on the web, especially as a children's writer! If any of you guys have an opinion one way or the other, I'd genuinely love to hear it, because I'm working hard to figure out a path here, and I could use some help.)

What about you guys? What have you done this week that's felt good? And are you waiting on anything right now?

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Honestly, I do sometimes feel frustrated about that when MrD's only a little bit sick, but when he's really sick, as he has been in the last couple of days, my priorities re-align themselves as naturally as compass needles. As frustrated as I can feel about not getting to work on my novel, that is nothing as compared to seeing him in pain.

It's been a hard few days. :(

Anyway! I'm really grateful for good children's audiobooks (my current favorite to listen to along with MrD is Arnold Lobel's Owl at Home), good iPad apps for kids (Elmo <3 ABCs is the most-played-with here), and also the fact that this is a week without work deadlines, so at least I'm not having to panic over those at the same time!

Also, I'm massively grateful to good friends. Erin Blakemore sent me the perfect comfort read and distraction for this weekend - an all-new-to-me Georgette Heyer novel! I read every Heyer novel in my local library and bought every single one of them that I could find (and afford) in a Michigan or Ontario bookstore twenty years ago, but I never managed to find a copy of Sprig Muslin back then.

As someone who's re-read all my favorite Heyer novels (and even several that aren't my favorites) countless times over the last 20 years, it was such a wonderful, rare pleasure to read one that was actually completely new to me!

I wouldn't put it in the absolute first-rank of Heyer novels (a very elite shelf, for me!), but there were parts of the climax that were so funny they actually made me laugh out loud because the natural personality clashes were so fabulous. Also, Lady Hester, the vague, myopic, no-longer-pretty, and completely unexpected heroine, is now one of my favorite romance heroines ever.

The whole book is more a comedy of manners than a romance, really, but oh, it was stylish and funny and just exactly what I needed. Thanks so much, Erin!

What about you guys? Have you found any good distractions lately?

(And a quick PS: I need to apologize to everybody to whom I owe email. I really, really hope to catch up on my inbox again as soon as MrD is healthy, and within the next week or so at the latest. It isn't happening yet, though. I'm sorry!)

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A couple of years ago, I beta-read Erin Blakemore's draft manuscript of The Heroine's Bookshelf: Life Lessons, from Jane Austen to Laura Ingalls Wilder. Erin talks about 12 of her favorite classic novels by women, their heroines, and their authors' lives, focusing on the ways we can draw strength from their (often imperfect but brave) examples. She doesn't shy away from the negative issues in some of the novels (the racism in Gone With the Wind and Laura Ingalls Wilder's novels, for example), or the problematic issues in the authors' own lives, but she delves into every book and every author's life with compassion and enthusiasm, and the result is a really inspiring collection.

The books and their authors are Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen), Their Eyes are Watching God (Zora Neale Hurston), Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery), The Color Purple (Alice Walker), A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith), Claudine at School (Colette), Gone With the Wind (Margaret Mitchell), To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee), The Long Winter (Laura Ingalls Wilder), Jane Eyre (Charlotte Brontë), Little Women (Louisa May Alcott), and The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett). A lot of those are books I've read and loved at various points in my life, so I expected to enjoy the book. What actually happened was that I LOVED it, and in the years since I read the draft manuscript, I've thought again and again about those authors' lives, the struggles they faced and the strength it took them to write through those hard times.

Yesterday, I got a package in the mail from Erin with my own copy of the beautiful new paperback edition. It came with perfect timing, as I was having a hard, tired, stressed-out day. I sank into it with so much happiness, and was nearly finished re-reading it by the end of the evening, feeling like I'd been given an ideal combination of hot bubblebath, hot chocolate and a bracing hug, all in one.

Since it just came out in paperback, and it has meant so much to me over the last couple of years, I asked Erin to talk a little bit about the book with me here.

Steph: Over the past year, since I first read THB, I've often thought back in difficult times of my own to the writers whose struggles you described in your book, and I've been so grateful for that source of strength and inspiration. Are there any particular writers in that group whose struggles or actions have especially inspired you in your own life?

Erin: I found that I really took a lot of inspiration from Louisa May Alcott. She was a stubborn person faced by some horrible luck in life, and writing was her redemption and her way of expressing herself in a world that was actively hostile to talented women. I feel so lucky to not live in that world, but I take a lot of comfort from the way she really leaned into her work and pressed through her life's obstacles.

Are there any writers in that group whose lives particularly surprised you as you researched them?

Every writer presented me with a moment of surprise, but I was most surprised by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I had no idea how much she had suffered from changes in the publishing world (sound familiar?) or that she supported her husband through grad school. Her story is surprisingly modern.

How did you choose the writers you highlighted in the book?

A few rounds of "he loves me, he loves me not" and a couple of daisies and I was set! Actually, I thought long and hard about the writers who were so personally significant to me that they couldn't be omitted. I couldn't go too obscure or nobody but me would enjoy the book, but if I went too obvious, the book wouldn't feel like my own. I put forth a short list in my book proposal and then worked with my editor to hone it down. I tried to balance both the lives of the writers and the tones of their books. I'll say this: it was not the most fun part of writing the book, since it's never easy to turn your back on a favorite!

How did your research, as you wrote the book, end up affecting your experience as a reader of those writers' books? Are there any books you feel differently about now that you know what was going on in their writers' lives?

I'd say I read all of "my" authors' books differently now. Having a perspective on the author's life makes the experience of reading their books quite complicated and fascinating. I think it's a bit too easy to assume that a writer's book is autobiographical, but in the case of writers like Lucy Maud Montgomery, Louisa May Alcott and Charlotte Bronte you can see their true personalities shining through. You'd think that knowing things like "Charlotte Bronte suffered greatly while writing this book" or "Louisa May Alcott wrote this for money" would ruin the reading experience, but it's really quite the opposite.

If you could have coffee with just one of the writers you wrote about, which one would it be? And what do you think you would talk about?

Aaah! How to choose? I think I'd go with Margaret Mitchell. We'd drink coffee laced with some kind of booze and gossip about anything and everything. I have a feeling I could learn from her publishing war stories.

You can find out more about Erin and her book here.

And now, since I had a good writing session this morning, I'm going to reward myself by finishing my own re-read with a cup of Earl Grey. Mmmm.

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With my second book, Renegade Magic, I struggled for ages to find the right first line. First of all, once I'd finished the first draft, I realized I was going to have to rewrite the whole opening of the novel. Sigh. That does happen a lot for me, unfortunately! Being an organic writer, I usually do have to write the whole book before I can figure out how it really should have started in the first place.

Here was the original first line...

You can read the whole entry there (and I'd love to read any comments about which version you prefer - or which first lines in fiction have really stuck with you)!

Also, on a different note, for any fans of adult romance out there, I wrote a new blog entry at my romance book-blog. This one is called "Snacks Between Meals (An Ode to Romance Novellas)".

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Now, here's another truth:

Last night Patrick had to confiscate our Kindle from me because I was crying uncontrollably, so wrecked by what had just happened in the book I was reading that I could barely even breathe, I was crying so hard.

This morning, though, I took the Kindle back. I started reading again, and ten minutes later, I was crying again. But I didn't stop reading until the end of the book, because I couldn't.

The book was Jo Knowles's See You at Harry's (I got an e-ARC through Netgalley), and honestly, if anyone had warned me ahead of time what was going to happen in the book, I would never have picked it up, because I would have known I couldn't deal with it emotionally.

But I'm glad that no one warned me, because it was worth it.

See You at Harry's is an MG book narrated by 12-year-old Fern. She's part of a big, loving but conflicted family that all chips in (like it or not) to run their family restaurant, "Harry's". Fern's parents love her but don't always notice her, distracted by the never-ending work of the restaurant, by their concerns over her two older siblings, and by her 3-year-old brother Charlie, who's always getting in Fern's way. Fern has a best friend, Ran, who's suddenly disconcertingly hot, and she has a much-loved older brother who's dealing with bullying at school.

Every single character feels utterly real - as I read, I was there, I was a part of that family, I was absolutely in Fern's head and feeling her emotions, her frustrations and her fears and hopes. The family dynamics are all so true, the aggravations and frustrations and joys of normal life in a big, busy family.

And then something terrible and unexpected happens, and the whole family has to reshape itself to deal with it.

I can't remember the last time I cried this much and this hard over a book...but I couldn't put it down (at least not voluntarily), either. I had to know what would happen to Fern and her family. I cared SO MUCH about all of them. And I'm glad I kept reading. The end is just exactly right.

This is a really, really beautiful and emotionally compelling book. But do keep a box of tissues nearby if you start reading it (especially if you are a parent).

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This morning, I finally, finally managed to catch up with all my freelance work after MrD's sick-days last week. Whew! Luckily, I had the perfect (and most dangerous, for a book-addict like me) reward directly afterwards...a library book sale! My local public library is having a "Grand Book Sale" today, selling off old books from their central reserve, and while I am horrified that it's happening (I HATE library budget cuts!), of course I wanted to be there as early in the day as possible to snatch up as many books as possible!

Here's the really sad thing about those library booksales: looking at all those great books being sold off for 25p or 50p and knowing they'll never be replaced. They seemed to be selling off ALL their stock of old novels by Jean Plaidy, Norah Lofts, Stella Gibbons (I never knew Stella Gibbons had written so many books in the first place! I'd never even heard of any of these ones before, and most of them looked SO different from Cold Comfort Farm)... I had to force myself to remember my budget, which was distinctly limited. I wanted to buy ALL of the books I saw, not even because I particularly wanted to read any of them now, but just because I wanted the option of reading them someday in the future when I was interested!

Sigh. I only bought four books in the end: the Norah Lofts novel I remembered most affectionately from childhood (A Rose for Virtue, about Napoleon's stepdaughter), a history book about Napoleonic France (because I operate on the principle that I should ALWAYS buy cheap history books when I see them, just in case I want to write something set in that period one day - and silly as that may sound, it really has paid off as a strategy), a collection of F. Scott Fitzgerald essays & short stories (written in the right time period for my WIP), and a big fat Rosamunde Pilcher novel for the next time I just want to switch off my brain and curl up in an armchair to feel comforted for a long time.

I really hesitated over the ten zillion different fat Jean Plaidy historical novels on offer (about Elizabeth I, Catherine of Aragon, and pretty much every other prominent woman in European history!), because oh, did I adore those books when I was a kid, and I'm sure they influenced me in wanting to write historical novels of my own...but I decided against buying any today on the principle that I loved them SO much when I was 11 or 12, I couldn't bear the possibility of finding out that I no longer loved them. It's better just to have that perfect memory. I think.

One more hour till the library sale is over...

What books have you guys bought recently?

***

And in other parts of the web:

The fabulous Tiffany Trent invited me over for an AuthorChat on her blog, which was really fun...

...and for fans of adult romance novels, over at my romance book-blog, Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance, I just posted a review of a romance novel that I was shocked to end up really loving, despite all my negative preconceptions.

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It filled me with a mix of excitement and panic and - well, actually, it was a disconcerting feeling that felt a lot like being brushed by the very dangerous wild magic in the book. So I decided to let it out in the most traditional writerly way: making new icons!

(Of course Jane Austen did the same to relieve her pre-publication excitement and anxiety, right? RIGHT?)

Sadly, I'm not very good at making icons. The Minerva Eye icon is the only one I've managed that I really like. I love, love, love the Renegade Magic cover - it's my favorite of any of my covers so far, in either country - but I'm having a terrible time trying to come up with a nice square icon of Kat from the cover to use for my two blogs and my twitter account.

If anyone out there actually enjoys making icons and wants to have a go at it... *fluttering eyelashes and just looking silly* OK, I admit it. I really don't have much to offer at this point. But you'd have my undying gratitude!

[ETA: Thanks so much, guys! I now have three different beautiful options, and I'm planning to play with all of them! I am so lucky in my blog-readers. :) ]

Also, if any of you have established book blogs and would like an ARC, just let me know and I will pass on your info to my publicist. And if you'd be interested in a guest blog entry or interview around the publication date (April 3rd), again, just let me know.

Whew. Almost three months left! Sometimes that feels like forever, when I'm dying to hold the real paper book in my hands. But sometimes, I HAVE to think of it as a long way off, whenever I start worrying about all the things I haven't done yet...

...because it's been One of Those Weeks. Normal life was supposed to start up again this week, which was going to include 6,000 words of freelance writing on my part, but poor MrD is sick again (oh, I hate winter toddler germs!), which means that I haven't had the writing sessions I was counting on...and work deadlines are leering at me menacingly from all sides. Eep.

Here are some of the links I've kept open for re-reading in the tabs of my internet browser, though, because I love all of them, and they all speak to me in one way or another right now:

• Mette Harrison, "Imagine". "One of the things my agent asks his clients to do periodically is to write a list of goals for our writing future, long term and short term. Which is easy. I always have long term and short term goals in mind. Then what he does is really scary..." (Note: Mette and I share an agent.) I love, love, love this entry. The funny thing is, the thing she talks about doing IS really scary, so much so that it took me almost a week after reading the entry before I finally managed to make myself do it. But it actually felt really, really good to do (and I think it would apply to just about any career or passionate vocation).
• Megan Crewe, "What I Need to Write: Meaning". "This is the last element of an idea that I need if I’m going to turn that idea into a book, and it’s probably the most important, but also the hardest to reach...what it really comes down to is that I have to care about whether this particular story gets told. It has to feel important. It has to, in essence, mean something to me." This is so true. I love the way she talks about it, and I recommend the full entry if you're a writer.
• Sara Zarr, "in my stocking this year, please: creative cajones". "I want to be the kind of creative person who is not scared off by possibly-crazy ideas and doesn’t smother every spark and crackle with a host of “yeahbut”s and “ifonly”s..." This was such an inspiring entry for me.
• Saundra Mitchell, Some Advice for the New Year. "Basically, my advice here boils down to: let yourself succeed. Your goal this year should not be “get an agent.” It should be to query X # of agents. Master your own destiny..." So smart, so grounded, and such good advice. The whole entry is WELL worth reading, no matter what your passion or career!
• And one more Sara Zarr entry, 2012, step into my loving arms, which I loved particularly for this one statement: "Do something for you and your creativity (not your career) this year. Start planning it now; don’t put it on a wishlist and expect it to magically happen." YES.

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One of my favorite things in the past week has been discovering so much new music - not just through the fab CDs I got for Christmas, but through twitter and LJ discussions of other people's favorite new songs. I've just started a new playlist in my iTunes account called "2012 Playlist", made up of a couple of singles I've bought in the last few days and some of my favorite stand-alone songs from my new albums.

(I'm also planning to add The Civil Wars's amazing song "Poison and Wine" [one of my very favorites from 2011] to the playlist, but first I have to decide whether to buy the song on its own or the whole CD. I love the exhilarating POWER of Christmas gift vouchers! ;p )

1. "Remains", by Maurissa Tancharoen & Jed Whedon. Patrick downloaded this one after hearing it and loving it in an episode of Dollhouse, and once I'd heard it on his computer, I needed it on mine, too!

2. "Safe and Sound", by Taylor Swift & The Civil Wars. I'm not actually a big Taylor Swift fan - I've never really connected with any of her songs before on an emotional level - but I really, really love this one, from the upcoming Hunger Games movie. (Why am I even bothering to include that information? Let's face it, you guys all know it! I discovered this song about a week later than the rest of the universe, I think. But it's a wonderful, wonderful song anyway.)

3. "Something in the Water", by Brooke Fraser. I discovered this one on Karen Healey's blog, where she suggests it as a hopeful anthem for 2012. I LOVE it!

4. "What the Water Gave Me", by Florence & the Machine. This is my very favorite song from her new album (a Christmas gift!), which says a LOT.

5. And the last one on my playlist is "Yoake No Scat (Music for a New Dawn)", sung by Yaori Suki and Pink Martini, from their new album 1969, which is WONDERFUL. Unfortunately, no one's uploaded that song to YouTube, so I can't share it here...but trust me, it is haunting and beautiful.

What about you guys? What music are you loving right now?

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...And presents, of course! I am restraining myself, with great difficulty, from listing all my presents here to gloat over. But I'll just say this: I got fifteen books for Christmas this year! I am in absolute heaven. :)

(Patrick said, on Christmas Eve: "I'm a little worried that I haven't managed much variety in your presents." I said, on Christmas day: "OMG, look at all these BOOKS! They're all mine!" Needless to say, the lack of 'variety' in my presents was not a problem. ;) I made a pile of my new books - a tower! I carried the tower with me from room to room, to gloat over. [No, I am not making that part up. Yes, I really am that ridiculous.] Then we went to a relative's house for dinner - and I got MORE books! I was just giggling with wonder and pleasure by the time we got home on Christmas night, looking at my beautiful tower of books and anticipating reading them ALL!)

I also have two big freelance deadlines coming up, so I spent the last three mornings of this week desperately working on those...but if I can just write 201 words of my WIP tonight after MrD goes to bed, I'll have officially hit the 25,000-word mark on my new novel, well over 1/3 of the way through...which seems like a good way to finish off 2011.

It's been a tough year in a lot of ways, financially, physically, and emotionally...but whenever I've started to think to myself "What an awful year", I've then remembered the other parts of 2011, too.

This year, my first book came out in America, and I got to see pictures of it sitting on bookstore and library shelves all around the country. This year, my second book came out in the UK, and I got to celebrate its publication at the Pump Room in Bath with so many good friends around me - one of the sweetest moments I've ever had.

And most of all, this year, I got to hang out with MrD, playing with him and reading with him and watching him become more and more himself as he gets older. I never could have guessed just how much joy that was going to bring me.

Happy New Year's Eve, everybody! Wishing you all a 2012 filled with sweet moments and joy.

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My US publishers (Atheneum Books) sent me the book Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self, which looks just wonderful and like a perfect holiday read. My UK publishers (Templar Books) sent me lusciously soft yarn for knitting. I really love my publishers, on both sides of the Atlantic!

I'm wishing a happy Chanukah to everyone who's celebrating Chanukah right now, a happy Christmas to everyone who's about to celebrate Christmas, and a happy December to everybody else! And since it is a time for gifts...

This autumn, the UK magazine Puffin Post asked if I could write them a 900-word Kat short story. The result, "A Desperate Case for Magick", was published in Puffin Post's November issue. Hooray! But unfortunately, Puffin Post is only sold in the UK, so that meant that none of Kat's US readers could read the story.

So...here is my holiday gift to everyone who's been so amazingly supportive of Kat and of me this year, in America, the UK, and everywhere else! "A Desperate Case for Magick" takes place a few days after the ending of Kat, Incorrigible/A Most Improper Magick, so yes, it does include spoilers. If you haven't read the book and you don't want any plot spoilers, please do turn your eyes away.

But if you have read the book - or you don't mind spoilers - I really hope you enjoy it. It's very silly and light, but it was awfully fun to write, and I love getting to share it with you now.

A Desperate Case for Magick

By Stephanie Burgis

If there was anything worse than Stepmama in a fury over one of my adventures, it was Stepmama basking in smug self-satisfaction. By the time my oldest sister Elissa had been betrothed for two days, I was ready to unpack my secret stash of boys’ clothing and take to the road as a highwaywoman, just to escape Stepmama’s endless stream of self-congratulations.

Unfortunately, I was trapped in a carriage with her and both of my older sisters, riding through the rugged Yorkshire Dales with piles of luggage stacked high around my legs. There was no way out.

“...And didn’t I say you would find a wealthy husband at Grantham Abbey? Wasn’t I right to bring you there? Oh, the carriages you’ll own, as Mr. Collingwood’s bride--the pin-money, the gowns, the servants at your command--”

“The blessed silence,” my sister Angeline mouthed at me from across the carriage, rolling her eyes.

I stifled a laugh. Luckily, as Stepmama was sitting next to Angeline, she hadn’t noticed. Elissa had, of course, but my saintly oldest sister wouldn’t have dreamed of responding to such impertinence. Elissa might look more and more strained around her eyes as the hours of travel mounted up, but she would never be impolite enough to protest.

That meant that Angeline was my only hope...because Angeline would do almost anything, given enough incentive. And riding on a glossy black horse just outside our carriage was the best incentive I knew: Frederick Carlyle, Papa’s new student in Classics and the man Angeline had summoned with a “true love” spell.

I might be a natural Guardian, born with the power and responsibility to protect England from malevolent magic-workers--and with my real mother’s magic mirror as a portal to the Guardians’ mysterious Golden Hall, which I longed to fully explore--but Angeline was the strongest witch I knew.

The perfect opportunity for my escape came two hours into the trip, when Stepmama ordered the carriage to stop at a lonely coaching inn. As Stepmama and Elissa hurried inside and Frederick Carlyle spoke to the stable lad, I drew Angeline aside in the nearly-empty courtyard.

“You have to help me,” I whispered. “I’ll go mad if I spend another minute in that carriage with her.”

“You aren’t the only one.” Angeline sighed. “But what do you expect me to do, Kat? I’d be happy for you and Mr. Carlyle to change places, but you know Stepmama won’t let you ride his horse.”

I grinned fiercely. “She will if she thinks I’m him.”

“I beg your pardon?” Angeline raised a single eyebrow, looking maddeningly sceptical.

“Mama’s transformation spell,” I hissed. “I only know how to use it on myself, but if you cast the spell to make him look like me, and I make myself look like him - ”

But she was already shaking her head. “Absolutely not.”

“You’d have three hours of sitting next to him instead of me in the carriage! Don’t you want that?”

“Kat, he’s only barely forgiven me for the last spell I cast.”

“But...”

She turned away. “I’m afraid you’ll have to sit through a few more hours of Stepmama’s raptures. Perhaps you can take the time to think up your next wild scheme…without dragging me into it, this time.” Her tone was so patronizing, it made every inch of my skin burn with frustration.

I gritted my teeth as I watched her disappear into the inn, Mr. Carlyle following a moment later. Curse it. After all the wild schemes Angeline had concocted over the years, for her to talk so condescendingly, like a pompous stuffed-shirt, now…

Aha. My mouth dropped open.

Could I really do it?

Stepmama’s voice floated out of the inn. ”...And if you three girls would only remember how often I know better than you...”

That was it. I had no choice.

I scrambled back into the carriage. Safely out of sight of the coachman who sat above, I unlatched my valise. It was the work of a moment to pull out one of my identical white gowns and a bonnet. It took five more minutes to stuff the gown and my pelisse with nightclothes, spread a concealing blanket over the whole, and tip my bonnet so it leaned against the wall of the carriage at exactly the right angle. Finally I sat back to survey the results.

Perfect. With so much of “me” hidden, it would take real attention to note the wrongness. Stepmama was in no temper to pay attention to anyone else in the carriage - and even if my sisters noticed, they would never give me away to her. Just as long as I got away before they could stop me themselves...

The door to the coaching inn opened just as I slipped Mama’s magic mirror from my reticule. Angeline appeared in the doorway.

Her eyes widened. Her jaw set. She started toward the carriage, the image of avenging older sisterhood - but I was already opening the mirror.

Light and heat swept through my chest, pulling me inside. I landed on my feet, laughing, in the Guardians’ Golden Hall. Shining walls rose around me. Golden light warmed my skin with the promise of adventure.

I had three hours to myself to finally explore the magical Hall...and best of all, if Stepmama did realize I was missing, Angeline would have to come up with a wild story of her own to explain it.

-END-

Happy holidays, everyone! :)

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I've also been doing a lot of knitting. I made my first-ever baby hat (which was addictively fast and easy to make! thanks so much to everyone on twitter who sent me links to great possible patterns for it), and now I'm working on something I can't talk about publicly because I'm hoping to make it a Christmas gift.

I think I've talked before about the act of knitting as a nice way for me to relax/meditate, but here's the other side of the coin, something that's really come home for me in the last few days: for me, knitting is also an emotional challenge, because it forces me to accept SERIOUS imperfection.

Here's the thing: I've always hated being amateur at anything, pretty much since birth. Ever since I was a little kid, I've had a really hard time doing anything casually, just for fun - if I really like it, I want to SERIOUSLY study it and be GREAT at it. (And no, I don't always succeed. To say the least! But that's the drive, and the tension behind it.) That's why I had to stop playing the French horn when I realized I didn't want to do it professionally after all - I couldn't stand to hear myself play it just for fun, at an amateur level, once I'd left music conservatory and stopped playing 5 hours a day. That deterioration in quality hurt too much for me to stand.

(Note: I know that that's stupid, I really do. But it's been 12 years since I graduated from conservatory and I haven't managed to overcome it so far.)

I really, really like knitting...but I'm picking up all of my techniques through a tenuous combination of (not-very-educated) guesswork, youtube knitting videos, and half-memories of being shown the ropes back when I was nineteen, 15 years ago. That means that I can knit and purl, I can follow REALLY simple patterns, and I can knit evenly and produce a good result as long as I don't make any careless mistakes along the way...

...but I have no idea how to do a gauge (so my finished products often end up in ludicrously different sizes than I'd expected!), how to do whatever it is you're really supposed to do with a knitted garment after you finish the pattern (rinse it? bake it in an oven? I keep seeing confusing hints swimming around the internet, but I'm still clueless about the details!), or how to fix any stupid mistakes like accidentally dropping a stitch along the way...so I end up doing a lot of wholesale unraveling of my projects, because I have no idea how to make the (probably very easy) fixes they often need. So knitting always feels hopeful but also dangerous and unpredictable to me...

...which I hate! I want to know that I can do things right! I want to feel competent and professional! I hate being an amateur!

But I really like knitting, and I LOVE it when the projects work. And since there aren't any knitting groups or classes that meet in my town at times I could manage, I'm being forced to accept that I will continue to be an amateur at knitting for a long, long time...which I think might just be good for me, after all, in a masochistic kind of way.

So far I've ripped apart my knitted Christmas gift over 10 times. Luckily, it's a small thing that shouldn't take too long to make, if I can only do it right. Still, only six more days to go until Christmas...please cross your fingers for me!

Are there any hobbies you really like doing, no matter how well or badly you do them?

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You can read the entry here

.

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...so in other words, I've got only two real writing sessions left beforehand. Oh, and my new (long) short story is due on Thursday, too.

Gulp.

This is apparently my standard procedure, when invited to write a story for any publication:

1. Panic that I will not be able to think of an idea in time. Gaah. My mind is a blank!

2. Think of an idea. Hmm, that would be fun.

3. Panic, even as I begin to write, that it will not be the story that the editor expects or hopes for. Oh, no, I am making a horrible mistake!

4. Keep writing.

5. Panic because I'm halfway through already and OMG I don't know what the ending is! (Also part of this stage: forget that I NEVER know what the ending of any story or novel is until I'm halfway through. This time, it is an all-new and horrifying CRISIS.) Wring hands. Tear hair. Lie awake at night in the darkness with my head spinning and tension prickling against the inside of my skin. I will never figure this out. EVER. I am a failure as a writer. FOREVER.

6. Figure out the ending. Think, Oooohhhhhh. Cool! And also: Of course! (I love Paul Park's statement about this, which I'm paraphrasing because I got it secondhand: "Whatever you need for the story is already there in the story, waiting to be drawn out of it.")

7. Write like a madwoman until I hit the end!

I'm at Stage Number 7 now, and the nice thing is, it's my favorite stage. It's the part where all I care about is the story itself, and getting it right whether or not anyone else ever likes it. (I really hope they will! But that's not the point right now, thank goodness, and if I can figure out for myself how to do it right, that'll feel like a real reward.)

I am still a mom, though, so when MrD got back from his school show rehearsal this afternoon, I forced myself to stop writing. I didn't even think about the story...much. Instead, we put up the tree and hung ornaments. I even managed to remember ALMOST all of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", which is my Christmas carol Waterloo. (I got all the way up to number 10 this time but then ran out. MrD suggested "eleven singing snakes", which worked fine as the next verse, but alas none of us could think of number 12. Oops. Next time I will be smart and google the lyrics first.)

I am really, really looking forward to Christmas.

But I really need to get my story finished, ASAP!

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Luckily, MrD is having a fabulous time with Patrick as I rest. I've got a JD Robb novel to read curled up under the covers - I've gotten addicted to that series of mystery/thrillers over the last year, even though I have to skip all the horribly voyeuristic-feeling (to me, anyway) scenes from the attackers' POVs (which I think are typical of the whole thriller genre, not just Robb/Nora Roberts). Without those scenes, though, I can just focus on the great characters and relationships as they develop across the series.

And: I have leftover pecan pie! Yes, I finally, FINALLY made my once-a-year Thanksgiving pecan pie the other day, only a few weeks late. Alas, I'm the only one in the house who likes pecan pie - but I LOVE it, and that just means there's plenty left for me. Bwahahaha...

Christmas music is playing on my computer, a weird contrast to the grittiness of the JD Robb novel I'm reading. I had the slowest and most frustrating writing session in a long time this morning, but I made it through and got some writing done due to the wonders of Written? Kitten!, the most fabulously silly and useful writing tool I've ever found online. (Thanks to Christine Johnson for recommending it!) It's amazing just how useful it is to have a reward system in place for the writing, even if the rewards are just cute animal photos.

And: Kat Book 3 finally has an official UK title! It's A Reckless Magick, and it'll come out in the UK on August 1, 2012. Hooray! It's a title that's definitely appropriate for ALL the magic done in the novel, not just by Kat, but by...okay, it's too far ahead of time to start slipping too many hints, since Kat 2 isn't even out in the US yet. But I'm really happy that Kat 3 finally has a UK title, and I hope it'll get a US title soon, too.

Meanwhile, if you want a US Kat 2 ARC, check out Jessica Spotswood's lovely Witchy Sisters Prize Pack - she's giving away a whole slew of fabulous, witchy books, including an ARC of Renegade Magic!

Now I'm going back to my JD Robb novel (Betrayal in Death), while the sunlight streams in through the window. What are you guys doing this Friday?

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Also, if you're giving a copy of either Kat book (in either a British or a North American edition) as a gift this season and you can't come to Abergavenny to get it signed, just let me know - I'd be happy to send up to ten signed bookplates anywhere in the world this month. (I'm sorry to be cheap and limit the number, but this is a strictly budgeted season for our family, this year.) You can send me your address and the name of the person I'm signing to through my website contact form.

And! Last but not least, I keep forgetting to say that I did an interview at Small Reads as part of the Historical Fantasy Jubilee. It includes my recipe for hot chocolate, some of my favorite historical fantasy novels, and a giveaway for US readers (which runs out tomorrow!)

Whew. And now the practical bits are all taken care of...or at least they will be as soon as I manage to get out to Waterstones with the sign that Patrick finally and very generously made for me. (He got fed up with waiting for me to get around to making one myself. Let's face it, that was never going to happen. Sigh. Remember what I said about organized and practical?)

Meanwhile, I'm halfway through writing the anthology short story, and I'm loving my almost nonstop (but not quite, for Patrick's sake) diet of Christmas music. My favorite new-to-me discovery is Annie Lennox's wonderful A Christmas Cornucopia album, while my overall favorite Christmas CD is still Pink Martini's Joy to the World, which is as oddball and lovely as all their CDs.

My favorite song on that Pink Martini CD, though, isn't a Christmas song at all; it's a Jewish prayer set to song, and every time I hear it I want to cry, because for various personal reasons (most of them irrational) it always reminds me of my grandma (the one Renegade Magic/A Tangle of Magicks is dedicated to).

Of course, the weird thing about love and grief is that that means I listen to "Elohai N'tzor" more than pretty much any other song on my seasonal playlist. So here it is on YouTube, for you guys to hear, too:

What are you guys listening to this season?

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I also wrote a new short story, which was totally impractical. It's the wrong kind of story to give as a Christmas gift - and I owe three different short stories as Christmas gifts this year! - and it was both the wrong era and the wrong genre for the anthology I owe a story to in just two weeks. Oops.

On the other hand, it was one of those rare, wonderful moments when inspiration grabbed me by the throat and would NOT let go until I finished the 3,000-word story, two-and-a-bit hours later. That really does not happen often, for me! (Normally, I'm very pleased if I write at least 500 words a day.)

So when I finished, feeling slightly out of breath and very astonished, I looked at it, thought: Oops (because yes, it was a totally impractical story to write at the moment) - but then just as sincerely: Thank you!

...Because when the writing gods give you a gift, it's only polite to thank them. :)

Now I'm working on a new story for that very cool anthology (please cross your fingers for me that what I'm writing will match what they're looking for!), I'm hoping to steal some writing time soon for my novel WIP...and I'm indulging in some total decadence as well: a full-on Mary Stewart re-read, just for fun.

I first discovered Mary Stewart's books when I was 12 years old, in eighth grade, starting with Nine Coaches Waiting. Smart, atmospheric Gothic romance with a lush, exotic (to me) setting and a heroine who actually had a real brain and spine as well as a heart! I had to read more IMMEDIATELY.

As I devoured all the rest of her books (often illicitly reading under the desk in class, because I couldn't wait till break periods), she carried me all around the world in smart, literary romantic suspense novels set in Greece, Austria, France, the Isle of Skye, and elsewhere. The one element that all of her suspense novels shared was a propensity for genuinely intelligent heroines and heroes, both of whom could (and often did) quote Shakespeare or Euripedes at the drop of a hat...

I've been re-reading her novels for over 20 years now, pulling them out at least once every year or two, and while my favorites have shifted again and again (I can't remember the last time I read Nine Coaches Waiting, so I don't even know if I would still love it as much anymore - over the years, I've come to prefer the Stewart heroines who are a bit older and more worldly), my love for her work as a whole remains steady.

My favorite three of her novels right now are My Brother Michael, This Rough Magic and Madam, Will You Talk? I also really love Airs Above the Ground (which was my very top favorite for a while, during my Vienna-obsessed 20s). I really, really like The Gabriel Hounds, and even those books I'm not as fond of, like Wildfire at Midnight, are still getting included in this year's re-read, because even not-so-great Stewart (in my subjective estimation) is still better than no Stewart, after all!

After I finish, if I'm still in the same mood, I'll be moving on to re-read all of Susanna Kearsley's wonderful novels, because the first time I picked up one of her books (The Winter Sea), I thought: Ooh. This feels so much like Mary Stewart! - in a very, very good way. Susanna Kearsley's voice, settings and themes are all her own - but they are wonderfully reminiscent of Stewart, and I wasn't surprised to read on her website that Stewart was one of her favorite writers, too, when she was growing up.

I'll probably start with The Rose Garden, my very favorite of Kearsley's novels, then move on to The Shadowy Horses, Mariana, The Winter Sea, Season of Storms...mmm.

I love luxuriating in big re-reads of a single author's work. It feels like such a decadent luxury.

Are there any authors you re-read over and over again?

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Then I read War For the Oaks, and became a fantasy writer.

I had never read anything like it - the magic I'd always loved in Lord of the Rings and other high fantasy, but set in the real world, so vivid and vibrant and overwhelming to me as I discovered it. I had never read anything so cool. I needed to write fantasy - that became a life's work for me, that quickly. And I needed more books like it to read. Looking for more books like War For the Oaks, I discovered Charles DeLint, Steven Brust, Patricia Wrede...

...and eventually found out that all those writers (including Emma Bull) had shared the same editor: Terri Windling. She edited the Ace fairy tale series of novels, too, which I adored and devoured. (My favorite was Patricia Wrede's historical retelling of Snow White and Rose Red.) She co-edited anthologies with Ellen Datlow that stretched my horizons of what could be written about in the fantasy field. My highest aspiration in life became to one day write a story that would be included in one of her anthologies. She raised the bar for me in every way.

After I started college, I kept writing, mostly books that were deeply influenced by the contemporary fantasy authors I admired most (all of whom at that point had started out with Terri Windling as their editor). But then I changed colleges, and my new friends - smart, persuasive friends who were, I thought, so much smarter and cooler than I was - despised fantasy, seeing it as so much less "worthy" than literary fiction.

So I stopped. I stopped writing novels full of magic and started working on stories and novels (which I could never manage to finish) full of suburban angst. I read lots and lots of great contemporary lit books, trying to find models, and I found a ton that were wonderful. But when I tried to write them, every attempt fizzled. It wasn't me, but I desperately needed to believe that it was, so that I would fit in and be admired by the friends I admired.

Then I went home for the summer, and one day, in the MSU library, I saw a copy of a new fantasy novel, The Wood Wife, by Terri Windling - a name that had meant a HUGE amount to me for a long time. Well, I didn't read fantasy anymore, but I was really curious about what kind of book she herself would write, and I was bored, and I didn't have anything else to read, and, and...

...And I loved it, every line of it. I finished the book, started it over again to read a second time straight through - and I knew: I was still a fantasy writer. I always had been. And not only was there no point pretending otherwise; there was no good reason to pretend otherwise. Fantasy was still, and always will be, the coolest thing ever, for me, and that's what my writing is supposed to be about.

So I mean it with all my heart when I say: Terri Windling is not only one of the biggest reasons why I started writing fantasy, she's also the single and wonderful reason I came back to it. No, I've never placed a story in any of her anthologies, but I love getting to read them. I stopped imitating "her" authors, too, when I finally found my own voice - but oh, am I grateful to them for giving me such an amazing model of what fantasy writing could be (and I still read them all with great pleasure).

Now she's in trouble, though - big, big financial trouble - and she needs help. So the fantasy community is pulling together to give back to her, after she's given it so much over the years.

The Magick 4 Terri auction is full of amazing offerings from writers and artists and musicians, from a 1910 keepsake box donated by Charles de Lint to handmade Green Man masks, a War for the Oaks screenplay and more.

And it is with deep personal gratitude to Terri Windling - even though we've never met - that I'm donating a signed, personalized ARC of Renegade Magic (the US edition of Kat Book 2, which won't be published until April 2012) to the auction. I only wish I could do more.

You can find my ARC here and check out the full auction here. Bidding will end on December 15th.

***

PS: And a quick PS - for any of you who are fantasy authors or readers, I would love to hear about the authors or editors who got you started in the first place.

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...but last night was pretty much sleepless for both me and Patrick, due to a nasty Death Cold on my part (imagine lots and lots of noisy nose-blowing, snorting and gasping through the night, and feel pity for poor Patrick!), and then this morning we got some really bad financial news out of the blue...

...so, all in all, we've decided that it's best to declare Thanksgiving officially shifted to tomorrow in our house. (It may even have to get shifted an extra day or two depending on how long the Death Cold lasts - I'd love to have working taste buds before making my annual pecan pie!)

Still, I really do love Thanksgiving, whether it includes a big celebration and feast or not, and the most important part of the holiday for me is taking one day to focus on the things I'm grateful for in my life, no matter how stressed-out I might be at the moment. Today, taking the time to do that feels even more important. So here's my list, this year:

1. MrD. MrD, MrD, MrD. :) He makes everything about my life so much shinier and richer and more fun. I am so lucky to have fierce three-year-old hugs and kisses and storytimes and play in my life every single day.

2. Patrick. Well, duh. ;) He's smart, funny, handsome, strong, and always interesting to me. I can't even imagine anyone I'd rather have on my side when times are tough - or to celebrate with when good things happen.

3. My family in America, who taught me to love Thanksgiving, and whom I miss even more than usual on Thanksgivings. Please eat an extra piece of pie for me this year, guys!

4. Every single person who has read one of the Kat books in either their US or UK editions. That is such an enormous gift, to know there are people out there in the world reading my books. And oh, the people who've posted about them or emailed or tweeted to me to tell me that they liked them - every single time I get one of those messages, I'm just filled with gratitude and amazement.

5. Everyone who reads and comments on this blog - whether or not any of you EVER reads one of my books. That part doesn't matter. What matters is the sense of community I feel here, and that means an enormous amount to me.

Happy Thanksgiving, guys. I am truly, deeply thankful for you.

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...and oh, wow. I'd forgotten how much I love Bristol. The gorgeous docks! The boats! The 18th-century architecture! The OMG-amazing science fiction bookshop (a branch of Forbidden Planet)! And this time, since we brought MrD, we also got to enjoy the really lovely city museum, which is not only perfect for little kids (and parents) but also absolutely free.

I have to admit, though, that one of my favorite moments had nothing to do with dinosaurs or parenting at all. We went into the branch of Blackwell's bookshop that I used to browse in all the time, back when Patrick was living just outside Bristol. It's right near the coffee shop we used to write in whenever we went into town (The Boston Tea Party), so it was always the perfect bookshop for browsing and dreaming in after our writing sessions.

This time, I walked inside, was overwhelmed as usual with all the fabulous-looking books I would love to read...and guess what? There was A Tangle of Magicks (Kat Book 2) sitting on the shelf among them.

It was a really good moment.

I still remember sitting writing with Patrick in The Boston Tea Party on a cold, dark winter evening when I was twenty-four years old and visiting him over Christmas, back in 2001. I was applying for PhD programs in the UK at that point, doing interviews with false confidence, and trying desperately to figure out the next stage of my life.

I was deeply excited and also terrified by the massive international leap I was getting ready to take. I'd gone to the Clarion West writing workshop that summer (where I'd met Patrick!) and I was writing my heart out and publicly calling myself a writer for the first time as an adult...but underneath my bravado, I was still secretly convinced that getting into Clarion had been a fluke and I would never, ever sell a single short story, much less the novels I really dreamed of.

After writing in The Boston Tea Party that dark winter evening in 2001, we stopped in at Blackwell's. I marveled over all the books by British authors I'd never even heard of, priced in still-exotic-to-me British pounds instead of dollars. I wondered whether, if I did win a fellowship to any British PhD programs, I could ever really fit in here; I tried not to wonder if any of what I was dreaming of would ever even slightly come true.

Yesterday The Boston Tea Party was packed full, so I drank my coffee at the museum café instead, while my little boy raced around the Egyptian room with his dad...and then I got to sign my second published novel (in its British edition) at Blackwell's. We bought a Christmas gift for MrD there. Then we drove home, across the New Severn Bridge, with glittering water stretching all around us.

This morning, I was staggeringly exhausted from lack of sleep. Writing was a difficult, frustrating process full of wrong turns, where I had to keep backing up until I got things right. It was definitely work, not play, and in my exhausted state, I felt plagued by insecurity, all the same old voices in my head: Maybe you're just screwing this up. Maybe you can't really do it...

Remembering our trip to Blackwell's yesterday got me through it, though. And reminders like that are priceless.

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1. A picnic. This morning, after I finished my writing session, I made two cheese sandwiches, packed them with an apple, a flask of water, and (I'll be coming back to this later!) some luscious leftover panettone. Then MrD and I shared our picnic lunch on a bench in front of our local library, which we both love. By mutual agreement, as soon as we'd finished eating, we went inside and read book after book after book together. A picnic and lots of reading. What could be better?

2. Panettone. How could I not have discovered panettone earlier? According to Wikipedia, panettone is an Italian Christmas cake, but none of the pictures I found online looked quite like the gooey, raisiny, melty wonder that I discovered at my favorite coffeeshop yesterday for a ridiculously low price. I bought one for MrD and me to share, but it was so mouthwatering that for the first time ever in such a situation, I actually broke down and bought a second one afterwards. (We didn't eat all of the second one - I wasn't that lost to its awesomeness! But the leftovers stored beautifully in the fridge.)

3. Good writing sessions. You guys know I've been working to forgive myself on the days when other stuff gets in the way...but yesterday I wrote 1900 words on the freelance project, today I wrote 900+, and I'm confidently expecting to have a full draft of my first big freelance project finished by the end of tomorrow morning. (Knock on wood!) That gives me two full weeks to polish it before it's due, and just the thought of that leeway makes every muscle in my shoulders relax. This was a new kind of writing challenge for me, and it is such a good feeling to prove to myself that I really can do it. (I hope! We'll see what other people think of it once it's done.)

4. This "Tiny Desk Concert" by Yo-Yo Ma, Edgar Meyer, Chris Thile, and Stuart Duncan. (Just click on the link to watch it.)

Yo-Yo Ma is one of my favorite musicians in the world, and I love getting to see him play with other truly amazing musicians. You can listen to the concert audio-only on the NPR website, if you prefer, but I loved watching the dynamic among the musicians, especially in the first, funny piece as their expressions bring out even more of the humor in the music, along with its beauty.

I LOVE chamber music - back when I was training to be a musician, lo those many years ago, my very favorite thing was to play in a wind quintet. SO much more fun than either solo or orchestral work! And it's such a gift to be able to watch such incredible musicians having musical fun together.

***

What about you guys? What's brought you joy this week?

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Until I re-read the entry, I had completely forgotten that I'd made this resolution. But oh, was it one I could have done with this year, actually - and one I could do with today, and tomorrow, and for the rest of the year, too.

Here's a snippet of what I wrote:

I've come to a somewhat radical (for me) decision about this year's New Year's resolutions. I'd been planning all sorts of things to put on that list, from the impressive wordcounts I wanted to hit every week to the exact type of fiction I'd write (and yes, I would still like to write one flash-fic a month, so I was planning to make that a solid goal, to be managed OR ELSE), not to mention all the impressive other accomplishments I would manage with just a few helpings of gumption and bloody-minded determination...but instead, I'm going to pare the list down to one incredibly important (and yet, in my experience, incredibly hard) goal that I really, really want to accomplish in 2011:

I want to be kind to myself.

All too often, I don't manage to do everything I want to - in writing, in author-ing (marketing, traveling, etc), in parenting, in friendship, and in family. But this coming year, I'm going to really, really try to treat those failures in the same way I would treat them if they happened to a friend of mine who was in the same situation....

Um. Well. Yes.

Guess what? When I read that, I thought: Wow. What a smart idea. Too bad I didn't remember it, huh? And then I started to beat myself up for that, because geez, it was dumb of me to forget...

...at which point, yes, I did finally start laughing at myself. Way to miss the point, huh? OK, I forgive myself for forgetting about it.

But I am genuinely going to try to remember my resolution for the rest of the year, starting today. Because the truth is, I didn't do as much work as I wanted to this morning. I wanted to write 1350 words on my freelance project, but I only managed 1220. Not a big difference, but one that really frustrated me. It's the kind of thing that starts the internal lecture in my brain: You just need to try harder, you just need to ignore the CFS, you just need...

But this time, I stopped. I thought: Yesterday was really hard. (Patrick was really sick with a horrible chest infection, so I did almost all the childcare and housework, rather than splitting it the way we normally do.) I haven't had much sleep, and this morning the CFS was so bad that I felt dizzy every time I stood up. So maybe, today, I could think of those 1220 words as a victory, instead of a failure? Just maybe?

I'm trying. And I'm going to try to keep remembering that attitude...

...but I won't beat myself up if I forget, this time. I promise. ;p

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It was the postman with a package from Oxford, full of lovely, thoughtful treats for our whole family, ranging from chocolate to (vegan! so Patrick could eat them, too!) cookies to stickers for MrD: a comfort package, in every possible way. When I opened the package and saw what was inside - and read the lovely note, full of support and friendship - I just felt overwhelmed, in the best possible way, by the sheer thoughtfulness of it, and the surprise of it, too.

Wow, am I lucky in my friends.

And since the gift came from a writer-friend I first met here, on my blog, it reminded me of some discussions I've had recently about the internet. It really is such a mixed bag - it gives us community (especially those of us with isolating professions like writing), and yet it sucks away time, distracting us from our work. It makes us feel better, and (other times) it stresses us out. I know some people who've decided they just have to pull the plug completely, and I can certainly understand that.

However, I have to say that at this point in my life, almost all of my closest friends are people I first met online. They're fellow writers, pursuing the same career as me, so it's not surprising that we have a lot in common, but since we live spread around the world, I would never have met any of them without blogging/twitter/etc, and we form an essential support network for each other.

Even the close friends I first met in person, like my friends from childhood or grad school, all live far enough away that the internet (whether it's email, facebook or skype) is our primary way of communicating nowadays. Obviously, I wish we all lived in the same town and could have coffee together in person every day, but since we can't, this is the next best thing.

And beyond that, I absolutely love the wider community of smart, thoughtful, interesting people I can connect with here and on twitter, no matter where in the world we might live; most of us will probably never meet in person or exchange long emails, but I love being able to discuss issues I'm confused or upset about with other people I respect, and it really helps me to hear their smart, cogent opinions, whether we agree on them or not. Plus, if my current WIP ever sells, I will owe a long, LONG list of acknowledgements to all my twitter-friends who've helped with the research!

My life has been so massively enriched by the internet, in so many ways. I'm really grateful for its existence. I can't claim that it's without its problems - I, personally, have to work very hard to force myself to unplug for various periods throughout the day, to make sure that I do still get my work done and real, quality family time spent without the distraction of twitter updates - but on a larger scale? I sure won't be unplugging any time soon.

Now I'm going to eat a chocolate chip and hazelnut cookie and appreciate my friends. :) And guess what? I was aiming for 1500 words on the freelance project today (and worrying that I wouldn't make it) but actually I ended up writing over 1750, buoyed by my friends' support.

Oh, and I finished both of those Susie Day books (both of them books I found out about through internet recommendations!) and I absolutely adored them, especially Big Woo! (which is known as serafina67 in its North American edition). If you're on twitter, you will have already seen me burbling about that one, so I won't go on about it here, but: I definitely recommend it!

What about you guys? Are you limiting your internet access these days or are you plugged in all day? And how do you feel about it?

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Needless to say, I'm not on childcare duty at the moment - MrD and Patrick are out this afternoon.

Since MrD and I had a ridiculously early wake-up this morning, I'm feeling sleepy and lazy now. I did my real work this morning - 1400+ words of freelance writing, and then lunch-making followed by play-dough and all sorts of other fun active things with MrD. Now I'm just taking the time to lounge on the couch with two new (to me) books by Susie Day that look just right to warm me up on a gray, chilly day: Big Woo! and Girl Meets Cake. (If you're curious, she has the first chapters of both of them up on her website.)

Last week, time felt like it stood still for me, for a while. Things were happening, though, even things related to me and my work. If you're in the UK, you can read Kat Book 2, A Tangle of Magicks, as a Kindle e-book or as an epub e-book (for Sony Reader and other devices) now, which is nice news. I was really happy to see that, and of course I am geeky enough that I downloaded a sample of it for my own Kindle, just to see how it looked on-screen. (It looked pretty!)

And I got my contributor's copy of Puffin Post's November issue, with my Kat short story ("A Desperate Case for Magick") laid out beautifully inside, surrounded by stars. I loved seeing it there - and if you can get hold of a copy of Puffin Post this month, you can enter a competition to win copies of both the first two Kat books.

Maya's sleeping on the big rocking armchair in the corner. The library just phoned to let me know I have a new book being held for me. (The Eleventh Orphan, by Joan Lingard.)

How are you guys doing this week?

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...and grief just swamped me until I could barely breathe.

I had to get out of the house, had to go somewhere that would bring me peace and beauty. So MrD and I went to our local castle, because we both love it. I brought a camera - I'm not much of a photographer, but it felt important to really focus on the beauty by taking pictures of it while we were there.

Here are the pictures, starting inside (looking out through the front door of the museum in the heart of the castle) and moving all the way out (to the path from the medieval castle back onto a main street of town), with stops around my favorite parts of the castle grounds along the way:

It really did help, the hour we spent at the castle. I love our local castle; I love the beauty all around it. I love sharing it with MrD.

Of course, the whole time we were there, I kept thinking about my grandma and wishing she could be there too. I think she would have loved our Welsh hills, even though they're so different from her Californian hills; I think she would have enjoyed poking around the little castle museum, too. I know she would have loved being with MrD, and I know how much I would have loved sharing the experience with her.

But going to the castle helped. It didn't take away the grief, but it helped make it more manageable, like the soft, misty rain that fell the whole time we were there; constant, yes, but bearable.

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I love blogging, but right now I don't feel I can talk about what I'm feeling most, and it feels wrong to talk about other stuff.

Thank you guys so much for understanding.

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Yes, this is the glamorous freelance lifestyle. Sigh.

But! Last night I read a blog entry that really resonated for me, "The Year of Becoming Unstuck". Here's a quick snippet:

Whether I work from a laptop in a café in Paris or from my home office, whether I could lose 30 pounds or whether I’m a size 6...I am going to show up to life anyway. And while I’m here, I might as well do the best I can, for no other reason than it just feels better.

Where I used to get overwhelmed by all that needed to happen in order to “get where I wanted to go,” not even knowing where to start (so why not just put that off until tomorrow?), I am just showing up to my life. Not the one from my dreams, but the one I have. And turns out I like it far more than I ever realized. There can always be dreams of “more,” but not at the expense of enjoying today...

(Read the whole entry here.)

Even though Taughnee, who wrote that blog entry, talked most about experiencing the present moment, something about reading her entry actually made me realize that I need to relax a little bit about the future, too. Of course that doesn't mean I can ignore our finances or stop looking for freelance work; it just means that the future is NOT solely full of grim financial worry, any more than the last several months have been. Ever since January, we've lived pretty much on a month-to-month financial basis, which means that in January, I dreaded March; in March, I dreaded June; and so on, and so forth.

But guess what? March included some pretty amazing moments. June did, too. So has this month, for that matter, nine months after I first started worrying about money. And those parts are just as worth celebrating - and anticipating, too.

So, today, here's my list of things I'm personally looking forward to, both large and small items coming up in the near future:

• Getting to share MrD's first Halloween celebrations;
• Having a new baby in the (extended) family within the next month or so;
• Seeing two new short stories get published within the next few months, one in Puffin Post and one in Daily Science Fiction;
• Christmas with MrD and Patrick and some extended family;
• Getting to read the new Nora Roberts novel, The Next Always, which looks like perfect comfort reading;
• Visiting my friend Tricia sometime soonish for a weekend full of kids and conversation.

That's my list! What would you put on yours?

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I'd never interviewed anyone else in public before, but it was easy and fun to interview Justina because we've been friends for so long, and she's so smart and witty, I always knew she'd come up with fabulous answers to whatever I asked. And it was lovely to have so many people come up to me afterward just to thank me for asking her at one point to talk about how she balances writing with parenting. Of course I was asking selfishly, because it's an issue that (for obvious reasons) interests me, but it was really reassuring to find out how many other people are struggling with it too, and also wanted to hear about it - and really got a lot from how honest and compassionate Justina was in her response.

At some point, the con is going to be releasing a podcast of the interview, and when they do, I'll make sure to post a link to it.

The reading went really well, too, and that was fun to do - just like last year, I loved how receptive the audience was, responding exactly the way writers dream of - but mostly...oh, it was all about the talking! So many old friends I hadn't seen for so long were gathered there for the day, along with newer friends I'm still getting to know, and people I'd never met before but who were smart and fun, and...

...and, yeah. Ever since we got home Saturday night, I've been feeling wistful, especially since one of the things we all talked about was how many of us feel fairly isolated as writers, geographically. I'm friendly with lots of other parents from MrD's school, but we certainly don't talk about writing or SF/F or kidlit together, because those just aren't interests we share. I loved getting to spend a whole day talking about my biggest obsessions with people I love who share them!

Sadly, over the last few days, MrD has been feeling worse again - the doctor says it's just a nasty virus, so there's nothing we can do but keep him home and cosset him, which we're doing - so despite the fact that I came home from Bristolcon feeling stimulated and full of motivation to write, that hasn't been happening too much. Child illnesses really do take over all the rest of life.

But I came home with two gorgeous signed hardcovers that I can't wait to read - Freda Warrington's Midsummer Night and H.M. Castor's VIII - and I'm already looking forward to Bristolcon 2012!

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Better yet, I'll be driving there with Tricia Sullivan, which means that for once, I'm actually looking forward to the trip there and back just as much as the actual con - I LOVE getting the chance to hang out with Trish! I'm really, really hoping that Patrick will be riding with us, too...but that depends on MrD's health, since a nasty virus has been attacking him. Wah. Crossing all my fingers and toes...

But in the meantime, look what just arrived last night, courtesy of Freecycle and a really nice Man With a Van (and his friend)!

Sorry for the blurriness of the photo (PhotoBooth doesn't deal well with evening light in our house) - but oh, our whole family is so happy about this!

I took piano lessons for thirteen years as a kid and young adult, and while I pursued the French horn as a music performance major in college, the piano was my retreat, a hobby without any pressure or stress, purely to make me happy without any judgments involved. Ever since I moved out of my family home to go to college at age 17, I've desperately wanted to live with a real piano again - and I was absolutely determined that I HAD to have one by the time I had any kids, so that they could grow up with one, too.

It makes me so happy to have that piano standing against our wall, fun and playtime and solace all in one, for everyone in our family. Unfortunately, we can't afford to get it tuned quite yet, but luckily, despite the fact that it had sat ignored for many years in a local office, it's actually in surprisingly good shape. It'll sound better once we can afford to bring in a piano tuner - but it's already so satisfying to play even as-is. And it really is a dream come true.

I love Freecycle!

But now it's probably time to stop ogling the piano and start a load of laundry, if I want to show up at Bristolcon without resorting to wearing my pyjamas... ;) Let me know if I'll see you there!

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1. Joseph Calleja's CD The Maltese Tenor, which you can listen to for free on npr.org/music : Gloriously cathartic, over-the-top romanticism. I've been taking time to just close my eyes and listen and let myself be overwhelmed in the best possible way. And (this week, at least) it's free! But I'll definitely be buying myself the CD very soon.

2. The just-publicly-revealed cover for Jenn Reese's upcoming MG adventure novel, Above World. You should really check the full-size image on Jenn's blog to get the full beauty of the colors, but even this smaller image (yoinked from Amazon) already gives an idea of the magic and fun and sheer sense of wonder:

I love, love, love this book so much. I was a beta reader for it back when Jenn first wrote it, and then I read a couple of different drafts of it and loved it even more every time. It's full of a really mythic sense of wonder and soaring adventure, mixing science fiction and mermaids, fabulous fight scenes, and adorable, funny romance. It has a sweet, geeky hero and a warrior heroine who are best friends (with separate love interests) and both full of SO MUCH heart and spirit. Above World is finally coming out on February 14, I can't wait to hold a printed copy in my hands - and I LOVE that the cover is so right for it!

3. For anyone who's ever been through a period of creative burnout, no matter what your profession: check out Terri Windling's wonderful blog entry on the importance of a creative burn-out cycle. It made me think, it inspired me, and I bookmarked it to read again next time I'm going through one of those horrible bleak creative periods - to remind me that not only will it end, but that it serves a purpose, too. (Thank goodness, I'm not going through one now, but I know I will again...and I'm happy to have some reassurance that even when it happens, it will be okay.)

4. Jaclyn Dolamore's Between the Sea and Sky, a YA novel that plays with some of the same elements as Jenn's MG Above World (mermaids, winged people) but in a TOTALLY different way, as Esmerine the siren falls in love with Alander the flying man (or 'Fandarsee') while trying to save her older sister from disaster. I read this one via Netgalley, and oh, did I love it. Here's what I wrote in my Goodreads review:

Ohhh, what a lovely book! Between the Sea and Sky is a genuinely lovely romance - the sweetest YA romance I've read in a long time - but also a wonderful novel about family, and about the dilemma of growing up and having to detach in some ways from your parents no matter how much you love them. And on top of all of that, it really, really works as a fantasy novel for any age group - the worldbuilding is so thorough, rich and vivid, some of the best I've seen in any recent YA fantasy novel.

But my very favorite thing of all might be the language. The writing style is SO warm and approachable, with a tone that's slightly old-fashioned in the best possible way. It was just such a pleasure to read, like being welcomed home by an old friend.

I loved the grumpy, intellectual hero (like a younger, more redeemable Bernard from my favorite TV sitcom, "Black Books"); I loved the real friendship between him and Esmerine, the heroine. I love all of their quirky, loving, exasperating family members. I love how good Jackie Dolamore is at capturing little intonations of social interactions - I've never read anyone better at capturing the exact feeling of being caught in an awkward social moment! I love the very real and true relationship between Esmerine and all three of her sisters, especially her older sister, Dosia.

Mostly, I just loved this book. I read it through Netgalley but can't wait to get a real printed copy and re-read it again and again in the future!

I really, really liked Jackie Dolamore's first novel, Magic Under Glass - but I LOVED Between the Sea and Sky. Needless to say, I highly recommend it!

What about you guys? What have you loved this week?

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1. First, over at the MG writers' group blog Smack Dab in the Middle, I posted about this month's blog theme, Inspiration. Here's a snippet:

Ever since I was seven years old, I've known I wanted my job to be: writer. But as much as my internal control freak wants to pretend that that's a normal, controllable steady job option, the truth is it's not. Writing as a career takes a ton of hard work, commitment and stubbornness...but also that will-o-the-wisp inspiration...

You can read the full blog entry here (and you guys will not be surprised that it includes not only an ode to the Puzzlewood - which we visited again yesterday - but also a paean to my new obsession, Pinterest). I'd love to read comments from you guys about where you find your own inspiration.

2. And I'm talking about Jane Austen over at the My Jane Austen Book Club blog, with an international giveaway tied into the interview. Maria asked me to talk about my favorite and least favorite Austen novels, Jane Austen herself, and of course the various adaptations...

...and if you leave a comment on the interview, you'll be entered to win a UK paperback copy of A Most Improper Magick!

***

Now I'm off to make my morning latte, cut myself a cold slice of the delicious apple-blackberry pie Patrick made the other day, and dive into my freelance project! But before I even wrote this blog entry today, I'd already finally written down the first three lines of a new short story, which had been swirling around my head ever since I sat in the Puzzlewood yesterday. Mmm, I love that kind of inspiration.

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Of course, Puffin Post is a UK magazine, so I know that not all of Kat's readers will be able to read it there...but I absolutely promise to also find a way for people in other parts of the world to read it by the time Kat Book 2 comes out in the US and Canada as Renegade Magic next spring.

And now I wanted to share some of the links that have been building up in open tabs on my web browser for the last several days, all of them waiting to be shared here:

1. First of all, I read "The Ghost of Cwmlech Manor", a short story by Delia Sherman, this weekend and LOVED it. It comes from Kelly Link and Gavin Grant's Steampunk anthology, and honestly, steampunk as a genre has never been something that appealed to me personally...but this is one of the steampunk pieces that I've really connected to and enjoyed. It's so charming and so much fun (and as a bonus for me, it's even set in Wales!), and in different ways it reminded me of both Susanna Kearsley and Jackie Dolamore, two other writers I love - so if you're a fan of either of their novels, I think you'd really enjoy this too...

2. ...Which is not surprising, since Delia Sherman has been one of my very favorite writers in the world for a long time, and more than that, she's one of the writers I admire most in the world. Right now I'm reading an e-ARC of her upcoming novel The Freedom Maze, and oh, is it blowing me away. I'm reading it intentionally slowly because it's one of those books where I want to savor every word, even though the story could easily just sweep me away. The writing is so beautiful, the issues are so powerful, and the magic is really magical. I love it, even when it's painful to read because of the issues involved. I'm not finished yet, but I'm almost certain already that it's my very favorite of her novels so far, which is saying a LOT.

You can find out more about the book here or enter to win an ARC of it here. I highly, highly recommend it!

3. I've talked here before about how much I love Kate Elliott's "Spiritwalker" series of fantasy novels, which began with Cold Magic and continues with Cold Fire. Whether or not you've read either of those books yet, I definitely recommend reading this fabulous "Big Idea" guest post she wrote for John Scalzi. Dinosaur lawyers and their genesis! Worldbuilding as a family game! It was so much fun to read.

4. And for fans of smart, funny science fiction, check out Bradley Denton's novel Buddy Holly is Alive and Well on Ganymede, which he's now giving away as a free ebook! I love Brad Denton's writing, and Buddy Holly... was the first book I ever read by him, when I getting ready to study writing with him (among other teachers) at the Clarion West workshop back in 2001. I loved it, so I read another book of his which was COMPLETELY different and yet also amazing, then read another book of his was totally different from either of those two but also amazing--! You get the idea. He's one of those writers who never writes the same kind of book twice, but all of his books are so worth reading. I just downloaded my free copy of Buddy Holly... and can't wait to read it again.

And now I can finally close all my tabs! Whew. :)

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Yesterday, though, I had the perfect kick-start to get me moving again. See, I'd gotten an awesome - and scary - email from my UK publicist just a few days before. She told me that a very, very cool UK magazine was interested in getting a new Kat short story from me - but that they would need it by this Friday. Ack! At first, I was filled with total panic. (I got that email just in the midst of the stomach flu yuck.) But then, Sunday night, a lightbulb went off in my brain.

I gasped out loud. I said to Patrick: "Wait a minute. I just got handed a guilt-free, mandatory excuse to write more Kat!"

He said, "Yes, you did. Isn't that cool?"

So yesterday afternoon, while Patrick and MrD were out on an adventure, I sat down and wrote in Kat's voice for the first time in months. Things happened. Things always happen when Kat's in charge! I found myself grinning as I wrote. Ohhh, I love writing Kat's adventures so, so much.

An hour and a half later, the first draft of the short story was done.

I finished the third draft of it just now, and it's making me really happy. I'll let you guys know if the magazine ends up taking it. Even if it doesn't, I'm so happy to have written the story and gotten to visit with Kat again.

And better yet, I'm finally out of my cave again. I'm about to dive into all the awesome and long-overdue beta-reading assignments that are waiting for me. I'm going to try to catch up on my email.

How are you guys doing?

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On the other hand, the other day, in the middle of all this, I walked past a beautiful postcard that an author friend sent me a while back, with a quote from Sense and Sensibility on the front - "Know your own happiness" - and my mind automatically and instinctively answered that quote with: "[MrD]." Because he - and being his mom - really is the single biggest source of happiness in my life, even during difficult weeks like this one when I'm worried and exhausted and grumpy from lack of writing time. Parenting is a funny thing. (Have you guys seen that article about parenting, All Joy and No Fun, in New York Magazine? It has an overly-simplistic title, but it's an interesting piece on the contradictions of parenting, and the problems of trying to sociologically measure happiness.)

Congratulations to Erin (@celestialpoet), who won the Kat charm bracelet! And I'm wishing all of you guys a restful, low-stress weekend full of good books and joy of one sort or another. (Or even multiple sorts! Go wild.)

Please wish me good luck staving off stomach flu and getting back to writing very soon...

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So! Here's the first thing I knitted, just about a month ago - a Snake Scarf!

This one came from a free pattern (which I found via Ravelry), and the only hard part came at the end, when I saw the simple instruction "Embroider eyes". Um, how? What? (Remember, I am domestically inept, which is one of the reasons why knitting is such an unusual passion for me.)

Luckily, one of my wonderful cousins-in-law came to visit the day after I'd finished the knitting, and not only did she embroider one of the eyes herself (you can probably guess which one!) but she guided me through embroidering the other one. Family is wonderful!

(It's a toddler-sized scarf, but could easily be expanded into an adult-sized one just by taking longer on the body.)

And once I was finished with that, it was time to knit myself a shawl!

The first thing I have to say here is that I love shawls. I mean, love, love, LOVE them! There's something so deeply comforting about wrapping them around myself, like giving myself a hug. One of the best gifts I ever got was a beautiful handknitted shawl from one of my aunts, who is an amazing knitter. So when it occurred to me that I could try making one myself, I REALLY wanted to do it...but I also felt very intimidated at the prospect. (It had been years since I'd done any knitting, before this autumn, and the only projects I'd successfully completed in the past twelve years were both scarves! So this felt like a big leap.)

Luckily, when I posted my question to Twitter ("Can anyone recommend a REALLY REALLY easy shawl pattern to me???"), I got immediate help from HallieOh (also known on LJ as Lady Schrapnell). Hallie directed me straight to the perfect book of patterns (which, better yet, was completely free). I picked Pattern #1, got started that night, and just over three weeks later finished my shawl (making it about 4 inches longer than the pattern called for, because I wanted it to be really big and warm and cozy for the winter).

Here it is!

And when it's actually being worn, it looks like...no, wait. First, I feel compelled to note that my hair looks weird in the following photos ONLY because it's wet from the shower. That is not its normal appearance! Okay, note made, moving on now...

The front:

And the back:

I finished the shawl just before bed last night. I'm already itching to start my next one tonight. This pattern is soooo addictively easy! I need to make another one. I have turned into a shawl-maniac! And ohhh, do I love the feel of it. The yarn I used is from Yorkshire, Patons Colour Works Aran. It's just enough acrylic to be machine-washable, but just enough new wool to be warm and luxuriant. It feels SO good to wear!

Thanks for letting me share, guys! And I promise I won't fill my blog with knitting pictures too often. Really!

Or, well, at least I'll try not to...

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Frustratingly, I'm having to accept that this current week is now going to HAVE to be devoted to recovery time, because the ME/CFS demands it...so I'll probably stay pretty quiet, online and elsewhere, while my energy recharges. (Having CFS makes me kind of like a rechargeable but leaky battery, one that takes a long time to charge but then spends all the energy all too quickly.)

There have been lots of good things in the past week, though, even apart from the big joyful parenting events. Here are some of them:

1. Patrick and I finally, FINALLY saw the final Harry Potter film...and wow. Wow, wow, wow. I can't remember the last time I sobbed SO MUCH during any movie - or the last time I loved a movie quite that much. If it hadn't been for the fact that our babysitter expected us back home, I would have stayed and watched it all over again in the evening showing. (We saw the matinee.) I loved all those books so much but especially the final one, and while the movies have been pretty changeable (some of them I love, some of them I REALLY don't), this one delivered on every level. As a huge Harry Potter fangirl, I was blown away, overwhelmed and in love...and as a writer, I was so deeply, deeply inspired.

It really reminded me that THAT is the point of writing - not the publishing contracts, the financial earnings, the Bookscan numbers or the career issues that are all too easy (and toxic) to focus on, but the chance just to try for an achievement like that, a story so full of magic and intense emotional power. That's what makes it all worthwhile, and that's what I have to focus on in every single writing session. I doubt I'll ever manage to achieve what JK Rowling did in The Deathly Hallows (built up to by the wonderful series as a whole), but just the fact that she did it sets the bar incredibly high - and I LOVE that. I love having that as an inspiration and something to aim for. (What's that old saying - if you aim for the stars, you might at least land on the moon?)

2. I read Linda Urban's new novel Hound Dog True (my treat to myself for getting UK payments for Kat Books 2 and 3) and oh, did I love it. You can read my full Goodreads review here, but here's a quick snippet:

...When I closed the book at the end, I felt warm all through, and slightly weepy again but in the best possible way. I'm so glad to own this one in hardcover - I want to read it again and again over the years. And I can't wait for Linda Urban's next novel.

Read the full review here.

3. I kept knitting. Oh, the knitting! It's like Valium but without any of the side-effects of drugs. I reached the official end of the shawl I'm knitting myself (it was supposed to end when it was 36 inches long), but I've kept going anyway, partly because I want it to be REALLY warm and cozy to wrap around myself in winter (36 inches was just right for a pretty, decorative shawl, whereas I want a big knitted HUG all winter long), and partly because...well, it feels too good to stop! With luck, I'll manage to stop myself before it gets so big it fills the house. If nothing else, I have only three balls of wool left in that color...

What about you guys? What have your highlights been this past week?

(And also, don't forget that the giveaway for the Kat charm bracelet is open through the end of tomorrow.)

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I have something else I want to post a public thank-you for as well.

Next Wednesday, October 5th, will mark 6 months since Kat, Incorrigible (a.k.a., A Most Improper Magick) came out in the US and Canada. One of the big frustrations for me this year was that I couldn't go back home to celebrate, or even to see the book in the bookstores of my home country...but one of the most wonderful things that happened this year was that so many friends and relatives and even readers I'd never had any contact with ever before took pictures for me, so that I could see my book, really truly on shelves all around the continent.

Every single picture has meant so much to me. Every single image of it in a store or library has made Kat's North American publication just that little bit more real to me.

I wish I could give a gift back to everybody who's bought a copy of Kat or checked one out of the library, everyone who's recommended it to a friend or mentioned it on their blog.

Here's one thing I can give, at least, that means a LOT to me.

Several months ago, amazing jeweler Emily Mah Tippetts came to me and asked: "What would be your ideal piece of Kat-related jewelry?"

No limits, no qualifications - just what would be my ideal Kat jewelry?

So I told her...and the result is this gorgeous charm bracelet:

It's exactly what I asked for, but even more beautiful than I'd imagined it. It has Kat's mother's two magic books (their designs based on real 18th-century "commonplace books"). It has a highwayman's mask and the key to Mama's cabinet of secrets. It has the phrase "Everything's better with highwaymen!" engraved in beautiful, Jane Austen-style script. It's a bracelet that perfectly symbolizes Kat's themes, to me. The copy I wear is genuinely one of the most beautiful pieces of jewelry I've ever worn, and one of my very favorite (along with my wedding and engagement rings). I treasure it.

I just got two more copies of the bracelet. One of them is going to a very beloved fourteen-year-old relative; the other one I want to give away here, to one of you guys who've been so supportive this year - because that support has meant SO MUCH to me.

Just leave a comment on this entry and you'll be entered in the giveaway, which is open internationally. If you also post about the giveaway somewhere else - facebook/twitter/your blog/wherever! - I'll be deeply, deeply grateful for that...but I'm not going to require it, because this bracelet is a genuine thank-you gift for the support I've already gotten here.

What I want more than anything else is for the bracelet to go to someone who will love it. That's what matters to me.

You guys matter to me, too. Thank you so much.

Note: This giveaway is now closed. Congratulations to Erin (@Celestialpoet), who was chosen by Random.org!

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Paige Turner (named by two writers, and very embarrassed about it) is a teenager who's just been transplanted to New York City by her parents. It's time to reinvent herself - and part of that is finally letting herself becoming confident in herself as an artist. Her journey - as an artist and as a teen making new friends, even a boyfriend, and negotiating a new relationship with her parents - is chronicled in her sketchbook - making this a genuinely beautiful graphic novel.

I loved this book so, so much. I've never been much of a graphic novel reader, and I had honestly thought I was just too non-visual a person to really get into them - but it turned out that I LOVED the way Gulledge used pictures to express emotional and psychological truths so beautifully. I felt such empathic recognition as I read several of the panels - and I really loved the way that other perspectives are hinted at through the drawings, even when Paige doesn't see them herself. For instance, as someone who used to be a teenager, I empathized with her feelings of frustration with her parents - but as an adult and a parent, I could see their point of view awfully well now, too, because they are shown as three-dimensional characters even when Paige herself can't see it.

Now, though, I'm a bit stuck. I REALLY loved this book. I want to try another graphic novel! But I'm overwhelmed by the vastness of choice ahead! What would you guys recommend? I'm looking for good characters and emotional truth more than action (although I never mind good action as long as the other two elements are there).

Help! What should I read next?

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1. Caroline Stevermer's "Inspiration" board. I love Caroline's novels, and perhaps unsurprisingly, I also adore this board. So many gorgeous pictures! And yes, they are truly inspirational.

2. Mrs. Fox's Autumn Days and Cosy Nights Board (which I found via Stephany Aulenbeck). Ohhh, the gorgeous autumn leaves. Ohhh, the enticing photos of caramel apple spice drinks and chocolate puddings! This whole board makes my mouth water.

3. Merrie Haskell's Fairy Tale Places Board. Mmmm. Just like the name would suggest! Magical.

4. Tera Lynn Childs's Bookish Things Board. Well, as if I wouldn't love that one!

5. And this poster, which made me laugh out loud.

What about you guys? Do you have any internet recommendations this week?

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1. MrD. Well, duh. ;) I don't talk about him very much on my public accounts because I want to respect his privacy, but if it weren't for that concern, I would be talking about him ALL THE TIME. He gives my life so much joy, every single day. I am so lucky to know him, and even luckier to be his mom.

2. Patrick. Again...no surprise! And his blog entry from yesterday hints at just one of the many reasons why I love being married to him. Doesn't every married couple talk in geek-speak when relaxing at home? It's so much fun having the same points of reference, hanging out with someone who knows exactly what I mean when I bellow (as I did in that particular conversation, at a vital point: "Have you never read Flowers for Algernon?!"

...Not to mention the fact that he lets me read out loud to him from my WIP every single day that I write new material (and sometimes several times per hour, when I need extra motivation as I write), and he ALWAYS tells me at least one thing he liked about the bits I read out loud to him, even when (on particularly grueling writing days) I'm only reading him 100 words at a time. Trust me, that takes both patience AND skill. We met at a writing/critiquing workshop, and I have to say, it was VERY smart of me to hook such an excellent critiquer and then marry him so that he couldn't get away. :)

3. My town. I just got back from a wonderful afternoon in town with MrD, and it reminded me of just how happy I am to live here. Yes, it's a small town - the smallest I've lived in since college - but it has so many things that I love. A library with a great children's section and librarians who smile and chat and all know MrD's name; not one but two different wonderful independent cake shops (when I told Patrick that we'd gone to "the cupcake café", he said: "Which one?" and I LOVE that that's a reasonable question); a thriving markethall full of fun, weird stuff for sale; loads of cheap, cheerful thrift shops; and two different bookshops, one of which (my beloved local Waterstones) actually carries A Tangle of Magicks on special display in the front window. Wow, did I feel lucky seeing that!

4. This gorgeous image by Sam Nagel, "Mandala":

I discovered it at a point yesterday when I was feeling intensely stressed out, and ohhhh, did it help. I returned to it several times throughout the day - it was exactly what I needed.

5. Strange Horizons. It's been my favorite SF/fantasy magazine for about ten years now, which makes it even cooler that I've also published four short stories (for adults) there in the last several years: "True Names", "Locked Doors", "Inside the Tower", and "Some Girlfriends Can". I still remember the sheer joy of making my first pro story sale to them in 2004 - and better yet, finding out while I was on my honeymoon! Could there possibly have been any better timing?

Right now they're running their annual fundraiser - unlike many magazines, they don't run paid advertisements, which means they rely heavily on reader support. Since this is a magazine that means a lot to me personally, as a reader and as a writer, of course I responded to their call for donor prizes. So, if you donate money to the fundraiser, one of the possible prizes you might win is a signed copy of Kat, Incorrigible - and that's only one of a mass of fabulous prizes.

6. Writers who make me laugh. Julia Quinn, Maryrose Wood...I'm looking at you two! :) And at every other author who writes books that make even rainy, tired days feel better.

7. My WIP. Yes! After seven months of serious Writing Flail this year (when I kept bouncing back and forth between different possible WIPs), I'm past the 13,000 word mark on my finally-chosen WIP, about a fifth of the way through the novel as a whole - and oh, it feels good. The funny thing is, traditionally this would be the point where an initially-exciting idea usually turns into hard work, from my perspective, no matter how much I love it. This time, though, I wasted so much time feeling nervous and self-critical as I wrote the opening (during those months of Flail), that I've only just now finally relaxed enough to think: Wow. This is fun. I LOVE this feeling!

8. The writing community. As I went through my Flail period this year, the biggest thing that got me through was my writing community, the group of amazing writers who gave me encouragement and support, advice, encouragement, and really good critiques. When I look back at where I was ten and a half years ago, before I'd gone to Clarion and connected with any other writers, back when I felt so isolated and crazy for even dreaming that I could write...wow. It's just a different universe, and oh, is it a better one.

9. The online community. I love having this space to share and talk with you guys. I love getting to connect here! The funny thing is, I keep seeing various people online saying authoritatively, "Oh, blogs are just becoming passé" (and here I'm not referring to people who've chosen to discontinue their own blogs because they aren't enjoying them or don't have time for them anymore - I'm talking about style gurus announcing that blogs have fallen out of style now). I just blink in bemusement every time I see that announcement.

I guess it's a lot like when I read in The Guardian nine years ago that "No one eats hummus anymore". Um...there are still an awful lot of hummus pots being sold in the supermarkets everywhere I look...and I'll keep on being one of the unstylish people who continues to enjoy it. That's okay! I like hummus. :)

10. The bag full of library books sitting on the bed beside me as I type this entry. Did I mention just how much I love my local library? :)

What about you guys? What do you particularly love today?

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I am still very definitely planning to be at Bristolcon next month, though, and I'd love to see any of you guys there.

In better news, though, I got a wonderful email this week - I've sold my short story "Dancing in the Dark" to Daily Science Fiction Magazine! I don't know yet when it will be published, but I got my contract this weekend, and I'll let you guys know as soon as it's free to read online. I'm really happy about this one, partly because it's one of the stories I've written that means the most, personally, to me, and partly because it's just fun to sell a short story for the first time in a long time.

It's a funny thing to watch your own career shift focus. Ten years ago, after going to the Clarion West Science Fiction & Fantasy Writing Workshop, I started writing primarily short stories, for the first time in my life. Even as I continued to work on novels, I regularly shoved those aside to write at least six or seven stories a year. So there were several years in a row when I had a constant stream of at least 10-15 stories in submission at any one time. Now that I'm focusing so much more on my novels...well, let's just say that's not the case anymore!

I wrote all of two short stories last year, and I've now sold them both, which is wonderful. But it also means that it's much more rare to get that lovely excitement of a sale! So I'm REALLY appreciating this one. :)

What about you guys? What highlights - and/or lowlights - have you had recently?

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This morning I decided to be proactive and make my whole family happy in one broad stroke. It might be a bit wet and chilly outside (not raining anymore, but muddy and wet from nighttime rain), and I might be absolutely exhausted, but what the heck - instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I'd gather up Maya and MrD and take them to our local park for a wet Sunday morning romp. Maya would love to run in huge swooping circles around the park (in which, like most UK parks, dogs are always allowed off-the-leash), and I'd just bring along a towel to dry off the slides and swings. Best of all, since it was such a wet, grey day, we'd have the park to ourselves except for the die-hard dog walkers of our neighborhood, all of whom I really like (and Maya likes their dogs, too, which is an extra bonus).

We set off with much excitement (from the two shorter members of our party) and determination (on my part). The sky was grey but the air tasted fresh. All in all, it seemed like a really good idea...

...until we got to the park and found it absolutely packed. A football (soccer) game was going on, filling 2/3 of the field, and the playground was crammed with the watching families of the 9- and 10-year-old athletes.

Erk. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind - especially as Maya, overexcited by our romp, started barking loudly for attention (look at me! look at me!) and a whole bunch of people all turned to glare at us in unison.

Sigh.

In the end, it all worked out, in its own way. MrD had a good time, and so did Maya, even if it wasn't quite the romp that we'd all hoped for. I...well, I was glad that they both ended up having fun, even though Maya ended up spending a lot of her time on the leash after all, which made swing-pushing a more complex operation than usual. And I was proud that we managed a good hour there anyway - and that better yet, Maya at least managed a couple of very constricted mini-runs without ever actually getting in the way of the football game, which took some real creativity on both of our parts.

But the next time I plan a big family romp, I will really, really try to remember that it's turning into autumn now, and from a childhood filled with my little brothers' soccer games, I really should know better than to expect the park to be empty on a Sunday morning!

Oops.

What about you guys? How are your weekends going?

__

PS: I also posted over at my adult romance book-blog, Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance, about a Regency novel I really loved, Rose Lerner's In For a Penny. Thanks so much to everybody who recommended it! (I actually read it about a week and a half ago, but between various Life Issues, it took me till now to write up my review.)

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I really loved the chance to ask her questions I'd had ever since I read the book, and I loved her thoughtful answers even more.

Here's a brief snippet from her first answer:

Writing a character based on someone you know is both a blessing and a curse. The good part is that you have a character who is ready and vivid in your mind, from which to draw your inspiration. The bad part is that everything you know true about that person in real life has to be scrapped, because real people don’t always translate onto the page tidily.

When I started Vanished as a gift to my niece, Neela, I had no idea it would be published some day. By the time the book was sold and in its revision stage with my editor, we were having discussions about Neela’s character – what were her motivations? What were her fears? And I realized then with complete honesty that I had no idea...

I hope you'll read the rest of her answer, and the full interview here.

And as far as the more personal blog stuff I was planning to write...sigh. Honestly, I had big plans this morning. Then MrD came home from preschool ill, and everything else has gone out the window.

So I'll just leave you guys with this photo of where we picnicked yesterday - a hidden gorge, secluded and wild and tucked between two major highways! We must have driven past it a hundred times or more without ever guessing it was there.

I'm pretty sure I was planning to turn that into a writing metaphor, but as it is, you'll have to imagine it for yourself. It's probably better that way. ;)

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I'll be posting an interview with Sheela myself later on today, as well as talking about some other more personal stuff.

Right now, though, I have an important question for UK readers. Here's the background:

The other day, I got an email from one of my lovely publicists at Templar Books. Apparently, as they were cleaning out the office, they came across a box full of seventy-six (76!!!) ARCs of A Tangle of Magicks that had never gotten used for anything. She asked if they should go ahead and recycle them or if I had any ideas for using them.

I...well, I spent the next MANY HOURS thinking very hard! First I thought, maybe I could start leaving random copies on the bus or in every café I visit. But then, in my small town, that still wouldn't use up too many copies. Then I thought, well maybe when I do school visits I could bring them along... But honestly, I don't do that many school visits, and I don't actually have any scheduled at the moment.

So what on Earth could I do with them?

And then finally it hit me: over the last several months, over and over again, I keep hearing on the news about schools that are losing their library funds and kids who don't have books at home. Every time, I've cringed but not known what to do about it.

And I had an idea.

What I'd really like to do is get these ARCs into kids' hands. And with 76 of them looking for homes, I'm guessing that the best way to organize this is on a large scale, through the help of teachers or school librarians.

So here's my plan: I'd like to give the ARCs away en masse to large groups of kids, as many as add up to 76. These books are primarily aimed at children 10-14, although I certainly know some wonderful 9 year olds who've enjoyed them. If you are a UK teacher or librarian, and you're interested in facilitating this, please leave a comment here or email me through my contact form. Let me know how many copies you'd like. I'll do this on a first-come, first-served basis rather than picking and choosing between schools.

And a quick note: these are advanced reader copies, not final, published books. That means they have plain yellow covers, the text inside isn't identical to the finished edition (partly because we went through line edits after the ARCs were printed, and partly because the spelling in the ARCs is still Americanized from the first round of American edits). These are the editions that were sent out to reviewers and booksellers before the book was published.

Here's a picture I took of them back when my own ARCs first arrived, to give you an idea:

If you're a teacher or a librarian, I would love to hear from you. And if you aren't, I would be so grateful if you could signal-boost!

Thanks so much.

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1. My latest addiction, Pinterest. I love having a place to pin all the beautiful, inspirational images I find online every day, and I love the layout, like an online bulletin board. I also love finding new images through friends! If you're on Pinterest, please do let me know what your handle is so I can follow you. (I'm easy to find, as my handle is "stephanieburgis", being enigmatic as all get out... ;) )

2. Wonderful beta readers. I can't even express just how much of a difference it makes, on a tired, tired morning, to have a slew of emails I can re-read cheering me on in my WIP. Oh, am I grateful for my beta readers! And so is...

3. ...my steadily-progressing WIP. Here's the thing: for the past 7 months, I've been bouncing back and forth between lots of different potential novels without ever settling on any of them for long. This is an incredibly tempting pattern to repeat over and over again, for so many reasons. But it is really not a recipe for productive creativity, or for a happy writer. Surprise, surprise, I've also been feeling incredibly unsettled creatively.

Well, to cut a long story short, I finally ran into a creative wall with this path...and it made me realize that I have to finally make a commitment and STICK TO IT. So I sat down with all my lovely partials all so full of potential, screwed my courage to the sticking point - and picked one, the one that honestly felt like the most fun to me (even though, by odd coincidence, it also felt the scariest and most vulnerable - funny how that works). And now I'm determined to be brave and write it to the end without any more second-guessing or darting off to try other projects in the meantime.

It felt really scary to make this decision - especially because this project does feel scary and intimidating to me. For one thing, I'm blending in bits and pieces of my own family history (in an indirect and non-factual manner), which makes it feel really personal. For another thing, I'm writing something with a different plot structure than I'm used to. It's really stretching my writing skills.

I'm pretty sure that that's a good thing, though. And it's amazing how good it feels to watch the wordcount (and pagecount) steadily creep higher. As I finally forced myself to commit to one novel with no more second-guessing or exit plans allowed, I also felt part of my creativity open up again for the first time in months. And it feels wonderful.

4. And in a lovely piece of serendipity, Lisa Mantchev's So Silver Bright, the third book in her Theatre Illuminata trilogy, is being published today. I love this trilogy - I really think it's some of the most wonderfully imaginative and truly fun YA fantasy that's been published in the last few years - but it feels particularly serendipitous right now because of a bit of backstory.

See, four and a half years ago, after a similar period of creative restlessness and uncertainty, I went back to a novel-opening that I had written but then discarded in a panicked rush. That one was way too scary to write, not to mention commercially insane. But the thing is, the heroine and her sisters just wouldn't stop whispering to me, bugging me to tell their stories. And guess how I got the courage to finally do it?

I asked Lisa if I could email chapters to her as I wrote them, for some much-needed cheering-on. She wrote back and said "YES! It will be our own literary tea party. We'll pass ribbon-wrapped manuscripts back and forth across the table!" So I sent her my first, incredibly rough chapters as I wrote them, and she cheered them on and told me what she loved about them. And she sent me chunks of her novel and I wrote back cheering her on and telling her what I loved about them.

My scary novel? Kat, Incorrigible. Hers? Eyes Like Stars, the first book in her Theatre Illuminata trilogy, the one that's coming to a close with this final book, So Silver Bright.

I'm so proud of Lisa as a friend and so excited as a reader to read this third book. And I love the reminder that sometimes, the scariest books are exactly the ones we need to write.

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I remember standing in the beautiful, grassy courtyard saying to Patrick: "If we lived here, I would do ALL my writing here on nice days!"

Then we moved down here from Leeds...and guess what? There's another, much bigger and more complete castle only 20 minutes' drive from our house. And even more importantly, I fell prey to the living vs. touristing issue - the same effect that led me to see most of the cool things around Leeds only when friends were visiting and wanted to see the sights.

Yesterday afternoon, I took MrD to the local castle. We stood in the beautiful, grassy courtyard. I took a deep, refreshing breath as I looked around the gorgeous, ancient ruined walls and the variety of low stones set just at the right height for sitting on. And as I looked around, filled with wonder and just soaking it all in, I realized something:

It was the first time I'd actually taken the time to visit it in the entire 2 years we've lived here.

Oops.

Here's my new resolution: next time we have a warm day and I have a writing session, I want to take my notebook and actually write in those beautiful, inspirational castle grounds, just like I used to fantasize about...because we're about to descend into a cold, rainy Welsh winter, and I can't bear to let another year go by without fulfilling that so, so do-able fantasy.

What about you guys? What's your favorite local thing to do, wherever you live? It's been far too long since I've done any traveling. I'd love to get glimpses into other cities around the world, if you're willing to share!

__

PS: And if you want to get a glimpse inside my house, check out my guest post (complete with bookshelf photos) at The Overflowing Library.

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But here are four of the sneak peeks that have made me happiest recently:

First, I got an e-ARC of Merrie Haskell's The Princess Curse. Now, the background to this is that Merrie and I are both writers who started out in the adult fantasy/science fiction field, we're both fans of Regency-era novels, the Brontës and fairy tales, and we both come from Michigan, from towns that are only about an hour and a half apart - from, in fact, the competing university towns of East Lansing (Michigan State University, go Spartans!) and Ann Arbor (the University of Michigan, go Wolverines!).

East Lansing and Ann Arbor have a fierce competition going on at the local level with lots of trash-talking on both sides...but also a distinct sense of kinship, reluctant or not. Once you leave Michigan, if you meet anyone from Michigan, that's a really nice feeling, but if you meet someone who's also from one of those twin cities, no matter which one - well, that's a bond in itself, albeit not as important as the Regency-/fairy-tale-/Brontë-loving bond.

But Merrie and I didn't actually meet until I'd already moved to the UK. She wrote me a really nice note after she read and liked my short story "Some Girlfriends Can" on Strange Horizons; I wrote her a nice note after I read and loved her short story "Huntswoman", also on Strange Horizons. And oh, how I loved her YA story "Currer Bell Comes to America", which Patrick and I published last year as part of our December Lights Project! (This is the story that begins: "I have to confess: when Dad brought Charlotte Brontë and her sister home, I was actually pretty disappointed...")

So when Merrie sold her MG novel The Princess Curse, I was thrilled for her - and also incredibly impatient to read it! And I enjoyed it every bit as much as I'd hoped. It's a retelling of "The Twelve Dancing Princesses" with a strong, smart (non-princess) heroine who has big (but totally plausible and intelligent) dreams and is willing to do whatever she has to to achieve them. I love girls like that, in fiction and in real life. It's got strong friendships and complicated family relationships. And - just to make it even more exactly my kind of thing - it's set in a meticulously researched and well-grounded historical Eastern European setting.

In other words, I loved it, and I strongly recommend it! It's officially out in the world this week, and you can read the first eight chapters here or buy it at any of these retailers.

And then this week I got three (!) more ARCs of books I've been dying to read: Delia Sherman's The Freedom Maze, Tiffany Trent's The Unnaturalists, and Jessica Spotswood's Born Wicked.

Wow. Right now I am feeling very, very lucky. And suddenly I have loads of wonderful reading material! I'll definitely report back with more detail once I've had time to read them all - and since Jessica's Born Wicked is a paper ARC, I'll give away my copy here once I've finished reading it, so that I can spread the love.

What about you guys? Which not-yet-published books are you most looking forward to right now?

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Luckily, there are various things I can link to without using up much energy at all. First of all, Emily Mah, who makes the lovely tie-in jewelry for Kat, is holding an international giveaway of her lovely Kat Book 2-related earrings, along with a signed (by me) UK paperback of A Tangle of Magicks (aka, Kat 2).

You can enter on the Kat Book 2 Facebook fan page. (Note: Emily kindly made me an administrator of the fanpage, but I'm not actually active on the page, because I feel too awkward being personally involved in a fanpage for any of my books - but I am very grateful for her hard work in making and running it!)

Secondly, I posted over on my other blog last night about my favorite guilty-pleasure/comfort reads in the romance genre. If you read the entry, I'd love to read comments about other people's favorite guilty pleasures, in any genre.

And finally, ohhh, did I love Tobias Buckell's blog entry Aspirations, where he writes about the distinction between having goals and ambitions for your work (which is great and important, but can't be everything) and really taking the time to love the work itself. So true, and so important for everybody, not just writers.

What about you guys? What are the highlights of your week so far?

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...and guess what? I am completely frozen with indecision. There are TOO MANY that I want! I'm actually finding this bit just as painful.

Believe me, I really am aware that this is (to say the least) a laughably minor problem. However, just for the heck of it, because it's Sunday and I'm too tired to be decisive (because I spent far too much of last night awake, for the nth day in a row), here is my list of the books I'm deliberating between right now:

1. The one book I absolutely know I'm getting: Kate Elliott's Cold Fire. Ohhh, but I loved her first book, Cold Magic, when I read a library copy last year. I've been waiting a year for Book 2, VERY impatiently, so that one's a given, thank goodness! But for my second book...

2. ...Should I get my own copy of Cold Magic, to re-read first? I already know I love it, and I will definitely want to re-read it a lot in future, so it would be a great choice...

3. ...But alternately, since I won't be buying any more books for a while, should I buy something I've never read before, like Rose Lerner's In for a Penny (because I adored her book A Lily Among Thorns SO much)...

4. ...Or Laura Lee Gulledge's graphic novel Page by Paige, which looks absolutely wonderful and has had so many great reviews?

Believe it or not, it has taken 72 hours of angsting just to reduce this list to 4 possibles, even though I can only afford to buy 2. And like I said, one of those two is already decided, so that just leaves one open spot for the other three. Aaahhhh!!!!

OK, if you are in the mood to vote, please vote on which book I should buy along with Cold Fire. But if you are not in the mood to vote, just let me know what books you've bought recently, and whether you liked them!

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1. ...hung out with much-loved family members in a sunny garden;
2. ...ate chocolate cake;
3. ...finished my first knitting project in several years;
4. ...discovered a wonderful, new-to-me writer of adult Regency novels (I reviewed her upcoming novel on Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance) and...
5. ...got great news about a freelance project. Yay!

So all in all, I'm feeling really happy at the moment and far more relaxed than I have in ages. I didn't even realize just how much tension I'd been carrying around in my back and shoulders until it all melted away yesterday (at least for a while).

What about you guys? Have you had any good news this week?

(Also: if you enjoy fun, swashbuckling fantasy and you have a device that can read Kindle ebooks, do check out Sherwood Smith's Once a Princess, Book One of Sasharia en Garde! - it's free on Amazon.com AND Amazon.co.uk.)

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OK, let me amend that: I need to do more stuff that's just for fun and to feel good, not linked to any professional/financial purposes. Here are some of the things I love to do just to feel good, that don't count as work in any sense of the word: read, eat chocolate, and talk about books. I do a lot of that here, of course. But I'm always aware, as an author for kids, that a lot of my target readers (whom I love and appreciate deeply) follow my twitter and read my entries here, and I do have responsibilities toward them.

One thing I worry about is how much I can or should talk in depth about books that their parents might strongly feel they can't/shouldn't read yet. I love kids' books and I read a lot of them both for fun and for professional reasons, but I am an adult and I do also read and love adult romance novels which I know would horrify some parents of ten-year-olds.

So, it's sometimes a difficult balance for me to figure out how much I can or should talk about all the books I love over here. And the truth is, for most of my life, when I've been most stressed or tired, reading romance novels has been a huge comfort for me - and talking about them with friends has been so much fun. (Back in my very intense MA degree program many years ago, one of the only things that got me through was swapping Jennifer Crusie and Jayne Ann Krentz romances with a good friend, in-between all the hundreds of pages of intense academic articles we had to read AND write.)

Of course, this is my personal conundrum, which other MG authors might interpret completely differently. I think that whatever other authors decide to do on their own blogs is fine - I'm just trying to work out what feels comfortable and right for me. For me, what feels right is to go ahead and have fun talking about it - but to draw a line between my professional life as a children's author, loving, writing and reading books for kids, and my personal book-reading life as someone who also turns to chocolate and romances for comfort and pleasure. And the result is:

Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance

I'm book-blogging over there about adult romance novels under my legal (married) name, Stephanie Samphire. The first two entries are up already: Comfort and Pleasure, my introductory post, and Playing Favorites (which is a slightly amended re-post of a locked entry I wrote on my LJ a while back). Some things are going to remain constant: I'm not going to write over there about any books I don't like, because what's fun for me is discussing books I enjoy. (Also, I am a very fickle reader, so if I don't like a book, I set it down pretty much immediately without any guilt.) And I'm not trying to hide who I really am - but I also want to be clear about the distinction.

This, right here, is the blog where I write about my life, my family, the books I write, and any books I read that are fine for my target readers, no matter what the genre; Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance is the book-blog for the books I read and like or love that my target readers might not be ready for yet. (And also, I'm very aware that a lot of the adults I'm friends with have absolutely NO interest in romance novels, which is another reason to blog about them elsewhere!)

For any of you who do enjoy reading or talking about romance, I hope you'll enjoy reading Eating Chocolate, Reading Romance and leave comments (or send in guest reviews/guest blogs about your own romance-reading!) any time you want; for those of you who don't, no worries - I'm not planning to slow down my blogging here. I created ECRR just to have a place where I can also burble about the romances I read - and I'm hoping to get lots of guest blogs and reviews from other romance-readers there, too, to fill out the conversation. (It's still evolving, and may even turn into a group blog at some point. Who knows?) Because nothing's more fun than book-talk - especially over virtual chocolate!

ETA: For anyone who uses Dreamwidth, Revena has set up a feed account for ECRR over there.

ETA2: And for anyone who uses LiveJournal, NatalieF has set up an LJ feed over there, too!

So, that's the fun stuff I've been doing over the past couple of days. What about you guys? What have you been up to?

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1. Vegan marshmallows! They were a surprise gift from a wonderful friend, Sheela Chari, and just shockingly delicious - she sent me the vanilla-flavored marshmallows, and I genuinely love them at least five times more than the original, non-vegetarian marshmallows - which is a wonderful surprise in itself).

2. A fabulous book, which I got to read as an e-ARC via Netgalley. The book is Veera Hiranandani's The Whole Story of Half a Girl, and oh, is it good. You can read my whole Goodreads review of it here, but here's the opening of my review, for flavor:

Oh, I loved this book. Have you ever read a kids' book that started out being just a story, but then not only became real to you as you read, but also swamped you with your own childhood memories and feelings? That was this book, for me.

I loved the heroine, Sonia, and her family members, all of whom were real and complicated and caring and capable of really big mistakes for really good reasons...but as I read, caring deeply about all of them, I also found myself overwhelmed with the memories of my own experiences from around Sonia's age, because Veera Hiranandani writes with so much raw emotional truth about what it's like to be a kid at a brand-new school where everyone suddenly thinks you're weird because your experiences and outlook are different from theirs. As someone who changed schools a LOT as a kid, for various practical family reasons that were out of my control, I can say with authority that she got the conflicting and sometimes terrifying emotions and impulses exactly right...but it was the specificity and emotional truth of Sonia's own particular experiences (which were quite different than mine) that made the book so powerful for me...

(Read the rest of my review here.)

The funny thing is, usually when I'm feeling tired and stressed, what I want is purely fluffy fun literature, with tons of comedy and no major issues. The Whole Story of Half a Girl doesn't fit that mold - it's not depressing, but it is full of serious issues, and oh, is it absorbing, after the first few set-up chapters. And I just can't remember the last time I identified so much, so personally, with a character in a novel, despite the fact that her particular issues at her new school are very different from the issues I dealt with in my various school changes.

Sonia in the book has to deal with the kids at her new school staring at her skin color and being baffled by her half-Indian, half-Jewish ethnic/religious identity; I was always fair-skinned and brown-haired and obvious, a visual jumble of European ethnicities that never turned into an issue for anybody (although I was harassed a lot about my religious identity at one of my schools). Sonia has issues when she has to leave behind her wonderful, hippie private school (which doesn't believe in grades, and where everyone in their tiny class gets along) for a big public school where the black kids and white kids sit at different tables and no one knows which table she belongs at.

My worst school change, in contrast, came when I transferred into a Montessori private school that could have been great in theory (lots of Montessoris are) but which was TERRIBLE in practice. I seemed to be one of the few kids in my class not actually related to the other kids and teachers, and everyone thought that I was dumb because I could only do long-division on paper, rather than with beads on an abacus.

(Yes, that was many years ago, and I should be totally over it by now. I really thought I was, until I read this novel and all those old emotions sprang up again, big as ever.)

But ohhhh, that feeling of being weird and different, and the kinds of questions that other kids ask when you transfer in to a new and very different school; ohhhh, that horrible sensation when you realize that your wonderful, beloved parents' ideals completely contradict the opinions that the other kids at your new school hold to be facts, and you have to make painful, big decisions about who to go along with; and ohhh, that feeling of just completely not fitting in...yeah, those were all my larger issues, as well as Sonia's in this book. And the book perfectly showcases the way, as a kid trying to fit in, you can try on lots of different identities for size, which is half-playful but half deeply, deeply uncomfortable, too...

So, yeah. It wasn't light or fluffy...but I really, really loved it, and it definitely took me out of my grown-up life for a while (AND made me grateful to be a grown-up again, free of all that stuff, despite the particular stresses I have to deal with right now).

What about you guys? Are there any books that have really blown you away recently? Alternately: which characters have you most identified with in books?

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Funny how hard it can be to remember to do that, especially when I'm already feeling stressed, tired, or worried...

This week, for the first time in years and years, I walked into a yarn shop...and ohhh, what a beautiful yarn shop! Located right across from the wonderful new cake shop in town (ohhh, their strawberry cream cake!) is the most appealing-looking shopfront, for a shop called The Wool Croft. The first time I saw it, on Wednesday, I just thought: Mmm, pretty. The second time, on Thursday, I said to Patrick, "I think I'm just going to window-shop a bit." So I walked across the street just to peer into the windows, then stepped inside "just out of curiosity..."

Okay, you can probably guess the end of this story. I ogled the beautiful, soft yarn, available in so many gorgeous colors. I chatted with the warm, friendly shop-owner, who runs a weekly knitting group and is planning to hold some one-off knitting workshops, too. I went home empty-handed and virtuous...but I spent that night registering on Ravelry.com and searching the database for free patterns.

The next morning, after I finished my scary-good revising session, I walked right back into The Wool Croft with my pattern in hand. I walked out with a paper bag full of rich, cherry-red "cashmerino" yarn and a pair of needles. (I didn't even own any knitting needles anymore, that's how long it had been since I'd last knitted!) Now I'm about eight inches into my first knitting project in years...and it feels so, so good to be doing it, even though it forces me to face down every single perfectionist impulse I have (and believe me, I have a LOT of them).

So now I'm spending a lot of my off-time knitting, and since I'm too much of a beginner to watch TV or listen to an audiobook while I knit, it's a great excuse to just listen to music (my favorite accompaniment at the moment, of course, is Muppets: The Green Album) and really relax - and I feel so much better afterward than I do when I spend my off-time surfing.

Plus, just check out the knitting model for this pattern. How could anyone resist? ;)

What about you guys? What have you been enjoying recently?

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...yeah. Oops. Every single August, I swear that next year I will be a filing demon (or angel). Every year, I then act just like Bernard Black in Black Books, with his patented stuff-up-all-his-coat-pockets-with-random-receipts filing system.

Thank goodness for cupcakes. MrD and I went out to our favorite cupcake café this afternoon just when I was really losing my mind over the receipt chaos, and ohhh, that coffee cupcake did wonders for my mental health. I can breathe now. I can even contemplate wading back into the breach tomorrow (although I'd rather not think too much about it).

Taxes are the real downside of self-employment, for disastrously disorganized people like me. It's a good thing that those coffee cupcakes are astonishingly cheap.

Other personal comforts this week: Florence and the Machine's gorgeous new single, "What the Water Gave Me"; Sheela Chari's lovely, eerie short story "The Slippers" (hosted on Pseudonymous Bosch's website); and the fact I'm spending this week re-reading some of my favorite Julia Quinn novels. (Right now I'm re-reading What Happens in London, which is my very favorite of all her romantic comedies, the one where a particular scene in the middle makes me giggle uncontrollably every single time.)

What about you guys? What are your big challenges this week, or your comforts?

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I love writing short stories, and last year I was invited to write one for a really fun project. British SF & fantasy artist Andy Bigwood was putting together a book showcasing sixty pieces of his art, The Sixty. He invited a bunch of different British writers to contribute by each choosing one piece of his art and writing a very, very short (less than 300 words) piece of flash fiction inspired by that artwork. The resulting book is an artbook but also an anthology of fiction which includes some pretty incredible names in the British SF/fantasy world, like Storm Constantine, Ken MacLeod, Chaz Brenchley, Juliet McKenna and many more.

This is the piece of Andy's art that I chose, titled "Iota Draconis" - and after it, you can see the flash fiction I wrote, based on his piece. I hope you enjoy them both!

Iota Draconis

She stood outside with the dragon that night while the others celebrated indoors. Tomorrow, they would begin decades of gruelingly hard work, but today, the relief was too intense to repress. It demanded expression in music, in drinking, and in joy.

The atmosphere on this planet was perfect, just as the dragon had promised them. The sky was clear, the air sweet and fresh to the taste. The structure they’d built to travel the stars on his back had proved a safe, warm base for their small colony.

They were saved, after all their fear and despair...and now it was time for her to redeem her promise.

She turned to the dragon by her side. When he had first appeared in their dirty yellow sky, she’d thought him a meteorite, about to crush them all. Then his great black eyes had blinked open to look down at her, and stars had sparkled in their depths.

She’d been the first to step forward, while the others still hid. She stepped forward now as the sounds of their revelry floated through the air.

It is a lonely life, the dragon warned her. His voice boomed inside her head, deep and resonant and very, very weary.

The trip had tired him, she knew.

The others never asked what it would take from him. They’d been too desperate to care.

“I am ready,” she said.

Her parents celebrated inside with her sisters and her nephews. They would be happy here, and safe. It was enough.

The dragon opened his great mouth. She closed her eyes.

Fire billowed over her from head to toe and rose to the sky in a trail of white smoke.

When she opened her eyes again, the dragon before her was still.

And her eyes were full of stars.

-END-

Happy Monday, everybody! (And many thanks to Andy and his publisher for allowing me to reprint the image along with the story from The Sixty.)

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1. I loved this profile of Frances Oldham Kelsey, the FDA doctor "who saved countless lives and protected any number of babies from grievous harm, using nothing but science and her own strength of character." I found it really inspirational to read about how she stood up to massive pressure and refused to ignore her own scientific instincts. I had never heard of her until I read that profile, but I'm really glad I have now.

2. You guys might remember me raving last year about Kate Elliott's Cold Magic, an alternate-history fantasy novel that I absolutely adored. Tor.com just published a fascinating, in-depth interview with Kate Elliott, where she talks about different kinds of writing, music, and much more. Even though I don't tend to read much epic fantasy myself (it just doesn't press my personal buttons the way historical fantasy/alt-history does), I really loved her description of it in the interview:

...What that means is that for me at the heart of epic fantasy is the emotional response it engenders in the reader. That emotional response is going to be something different for each reader rather than a static characteristic required for all but it should be deep and it should be big. For me it’s a teenage girl standing on a wind-swept promontory overlooking a vast landscape and distant ocean; she’s got a bow and arrows slung over her back and a falcata at her hip, a faithful dog and horse at her side, sturdy boots and a cloak, and a long journey ahead of her. By which I don’t mean that any story — not even mine — has to have that scene in it to be epic fantasy. I mean that when I read epic fantasy, I want to feel a sense of discovery and adventure and anticipation and vista. I want to feel unbalanced, destroyed, and remade.

Doesn't that sound delicious? You can read the full interview here.

3. The upcoming movie Cheerful Weather for the Wedding looks like exactly the kind of fluffy historical British fun I really enjoy. It's a comedy-drama set around a 1930s dysfunctional upper-class British family wedding, with every single British (and American, in the case of Elizabeth McGovern) actor whom you'd expect in that kind of film, and if you click on "Promo" on the website, you can get the code to watch the trailer. I'll definitely be watching the film when it comes out!

4. And if you're in the UK yourself, the Bookbabblers are giving away three sets of A Most Improper Magick AND A Tangle of Magicks. The giveaway is open until 7pm Sunday for UK residents.

***

What about you guys? What have you found online this week?

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Now, just to give some context, I am a person who really, really cares about self-control. I'm not proud of this, but it is inherent in my personality, and has been ever since I was a toddler, so it doesn't seem likely to change any time soon. As a child, I wouldn't even start talking until I could speak in complete sentences! That's how much of a scary, perfectionist control-freak I really am, in my heart of hearts.

Now here's the single most scary-to-me fact about a career in publishing: as a writer, I have almost no control over the most important parts of my career. Oh, there are things I can do, as a writer: I can write my best work; I can work hard to revise it; I can keep on submitting and submitting, not letting rejection stop me, until I find an agent I trust and admire to sell my work. But here are some of the things I can't control...

You can read the full entry here. Please leave a comment over there if anything occurs to you, or if you're willing to share any of your own strategies for coping with career anxiety, whether you work in writing or not.

Patrick said, when he found out what I was writing about: "Can you read it afterwards, and listen to your advice?"

Um, yes. That would probably be a good idea... ;p

So in other words, I am not a font of wisdom or a good example when it comes to dealing with these issues. But I am trying to get better!

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And the very best part of the night came when I got to meet and talk to kids who had loved the first Kat book. One really sweet 12-year-old girl even brought me a congratulations-on-publication card, which I'm going to treasure for a long time!

The rest of the weekend is going to be totally oriented around rest (as an appeasement for the CFS), after all the various events of the past few weeks, but this morning I got to spend an hour at a coffee shop with one of my wonderful sisters in law, and then I had lunch with all the visiting family members who'd come down for the launch party, including my two very favorite teenage girls in the world. So it's been a really, really nice day so far.

In (I think) the last of my online traveling for the month, yesterday Iffath at Love Reading X posted a 2-minute-long vlog entry I recorded a few weeks ago. I'd just gotten my author copies of Tangle, so I was still feeling completely giddy over them, as you can tell, but I also read a very brief (but cliff-hangery!) excerpt from the end of Chapter Two. You can watch the video here...

...and Katie at Mundie Moms Children's Book Reviews just posted an interview with me about the first Kat book.

But the rest of the weekend will be devoted to reading and re-reading (I'm re-reading Josephine Tey's The Daughter of Time right now, for the first time in 20 years, which is always a startling experience!), cuddling MrD and resting up for another work week. I hope you guys all have a peaceful, relaxing weekend!

__

*Pronounced "Cootch".

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...ahahaha. Not quite! This morning I was woken at 6am after a bad night, staggered zombie-like out of bed, fell almost flat on my face onto the couch downstairs, guzzled lots and lots of tea and am now considering even more coffee - and I'm wishing that I owned any makeup that wasn't over two years old, so that I could make some attempt at covering up the bags under my eyes. Oh, and it would have been nice to get a haircut sometime in the last two months, too.

Oh well. I may look a bit scary and zombie-like, but at least there will be free, freshly-baked chocolate and cherry muffins at the launch party tonight. So with luck, people will stay for those no matter what the author looks like. That's my hope, anyway! ;)

The last few days have been full of tentative goodness, in terms of all the work I've been doing and all the news that I've been getting. I'm working on an audition for a freelance writing project that will be a really fun challenge if I get it - please cross your fingers for me! I heard last night from a good friend who has tentatively fabulous publishing news, but nothing is 100% certain yet, so I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for her. And I'm back to trying to decide among various WIPs, at that funny liminal stage of writing where I just cannot tell which one out of several creative projects is calling to me hardest.

So...please send lots of good vibes over this way! Let me not scare away launch party attendees with my baggy eyes and wildly shaggy hair. Let me do a good job on this freelance audition. And let me figure out which novel project I should listen to, and which ones I should tell firmly to go back to bed until morning...

...OK, now I'm just having a toddler flashback. Forget that last part, okay? But please send me good vibes anyway. :)

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Here in Wales, though, life keeps going on in a nearly-normal way, even as the temptation is to spend all day reading or listening to the news. Here are some of the things that I've been doing and things that I've found comforting this week:

I guest-posted on Bookbabblers about 5 Favorite Reads that I've discovered recently - Maryrose Wood's The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, Jeanne Birdsall's The Penderwicks and The Penderwicks at Point Mouette, Karen Cushman's Catherine, Called Birdy and Sheela Chari's Vanished. You can read the entry here, and I'd love to read comments about books you've found and loved recently.

I also went to the library - always a comfort activity for me - and I listened to this 2 Cellos version of "Fields of Gold" over and over again. It's beautiful, melancholy, and incredibly soothing:

I got a wonderful package in the mail - beautiful new earrings designed by Emily Mah for the launch of A Tangle of Magicks! They're shaped like drops of water - the Bath water filled with wild magic in Kat's adventure - and the text, "Sisters/Friends", is incredibly thematic to the book. In person, these earrings are tiny and adorable, and I love them. I've worn them every day since they arrived, and I'll be giving away a pair at the launch party on Friday...after which, Emily will start selling them on her site.

I also saw a photo of the final version of the beautiful charm bracelet she's designed for Kat, Incorrigible/A Most Improper Magick, which I LOVE:

The text on the bracelet reads (in Jane Austen-style script): "Everything's better with highwaymen!" The charms include Kat's mother's two magic books, a highwayman mask, the magic mirror, and the key to her mother's cabinet of secrets. It is SO beautiful and perfect, and I can't wait to wear it myself.

And today I had the most amazing surprise, when someone on twitter pointed out to me that Robin McKinley - one of my favorite writers since I was ten years old, and one of the writers who inspired me to write fantasy in the first place - had recommended Kat Book 1 (in its A Most Improper Magick edition) on her blog! I actually almost hyperventilated. My heartbeat was racing for ages afterwards, I was so, so excited and happy and...it was a really, really amazing moment. I really wish I could go back and tell my ten-year-old self that that would happen!

So, you know...it's been a really, really weird, mixed week over here. Although I've been dealing with a real CFS fallout after all of my recent traveling, so many good things have happened to me in my peaceful little town - but that has just not been the case for a lot of the UK, so much so that I feel weird and guilty even posting about my good news here. If I didn't, though, I don't know what I would post, because I don't even feel qualified to choose between the wildly contradictory opinion pieces I've seen on the serious outside news - I just don't know which ones are closest to the truth, or which I should be passing on here.

So here I am instead, on a Wednesday, passing on the things that have made me feel happy or comforted this week, no matter how tense all the news from the outside world became. I would truly love to hear about what's getting you guys through this week, too.

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First (although this wasn't officially part of the tour), Michelle interviewed me at Fluttering Butterflies as part of an ongoing series of interviews of successful adults from various fields, asking them about their female role models and influences and how they got through teenagehood. It was by far the most personal interview I've ever done, and it was really fun. Here's a quick snippet:

Did you have a role model growing up?

My mom was probably my most important role model as a kid. Although we're in different fields, it meant so much to me to watch her go back to university and build an amazing career, after staying home with us at the beginning. She taught me a huge amount about persistence, hard work, and how important it is to care deeply about what you do in life. One of the coolest moments in my publishing journey was when I looked up my book in the Foyles online catalogue and saw it listed next to a university textbook that my mom had written...

You can read the full interview here.

Secondly, I wrote a guest blog for Emma at Book Angel Booktopia, all about how the East Lansing Public Library ended up leading me to Bath. Here's a snippet:

The first time I ever visited Bath, I was ten years old. Oh, and I happened to be in East Lansing, Michigan (USA), at the time. I wouldn’t actually fly to the UK for another fourteen years--but luckily, I had another way to travel. I had a library card, and I had book-loving parents who took me to the library at least once a week, every single week from the time I was a toddler...

You can read the full entry here.

Amy at Turn the Page posted an extract from Chapter Five of Tangle, in which Kat and Angeline run into a notorious rake, and Charles (unsurprisingly) is no help, whatsoever...and you can enter a giveaway for a copy of the book there, too!

And finally, Caroline interviewed me at Portrait of a Woman, asking questions about Tangle and also getting some non-spoilery hints about Kat Book 3...

Whew! All done now - for today, at least. :) (One last blog tour stop is coming up tomorrow - a 2-minute vlog. I'll post the link as soon as it's up!)

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I only wish I'd taken more photos. Patrick and I took the train out to Bath and met Sonia Gensler at the Regency Tea Rooms in the Jane Austen Centre, and we were talking so much, it never even occurred to me to take pictures! Luckily, Sonia did think of it once we got to Waterstones for the signing, so here is a picture of the lovely table setup:

And oh, the signing turned out to be really fun! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who came out for it. Friends came all the way from London, Bristol, and Oxford for the signing, and it turned out to be just the perfect opportunity to see them in person again after far too long - or to finally meet them in person for the very first time, in the case of several fabulous writers I'd only ever met online until then, like Elen Caldecott, Amy Butler Greenfield, and Harriet Caster!

Wonderful book blogger (and Bath resident) Sophie Waters came by, and it was great to meet her after reading and loving her reviews of both of my books over the last couple of years. It was such a thrill to meet people who'd loved the first book, like Heather from Bristol. And it was so much fun to get to meet and talk to so many kids and parents on Saturday afternoon!

It was great to see so many copies of both books sell - but actually, one of my very favorite moments came when I signed, not the book, but one of the lovely little chapter samplers that Templar made me, for a 9-year-old who couldn't afford to buy any books that day but who desperately wants to be an author herself when she grows up. I'm really looking forward to reading what she writes in twenty years! I loved talking to her about it.

And then it was time to celebrate - and what better place for it than the Pump Room in Bath, where Kat causes so much trouble in Book 2? There were ten of us altogether, mostly writers, from all around the UK, and we headed off in a big group after the signing ended. Being a Saturday afternoon in Bath, in high tourist season, there was a long wait, but it was just fun to talk with everyone while we waited. Here's me and Harriet Caster while we waited in line:

We finally ended up seated at two different tables, and took turns migrating around them so that everyone would get a chance to talk. Here's one of the tables, with Patrick, Jo Hall, and her partner Chris:

And the second table, with Sonia, Harriet, Alex Dally MacFarlane, and Amy Butler Greenfield:

(Sadly, that photo turned out to be really blurry, but I couldn't bear not to include it anyway! I just wish I had taken more photos, so that I could also have included Amy's husband and daughter and Heather, who joined us later.)

Every time I've been to Bath, I've always walked through the Pump Room, taking notes and doing research. But I never, ever sat down for tea because...well, you know. It's expensive! I couldn't justify it! It didn't make sense!

I'm so glad that Saturday was the day I finally did it, surrounded by friends. Two tables of writers and readers under big chandeliers, overlooking the King's Bath where all the wild magic takes place...it was the perfect celebration. And I was so, so happy to be there.

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One of the best gifts I’ve ever given myself was this: I set A Tangle of Magicks in Bath.

I first fell in love with Bath in 2005, years before I ever started to write Tangle. I went for a day trip, and I spent the entire day in a state of bliss. The Regency-era buildings…the Roman baths…the Jane Austen Centre…the fashion museum...for a history geek like me, it was total heaven. Then add in all the great shops (because even history geeks can enjoy some modern shopping!), and what was there not to love? I came home and spent the next several years thinking wistfully about how wonderful it had been...

You can read the rest of the post here.

And in lovely serendipity, I'm heading back to Bath tomorrow for my signing at the Waterstones there. As someone who grew up devouring Georgette Heyer novels, just the fact that Waterstones is on Milsom Street is enough to make me tingle (yes, I knew the name of that street WELL before I ever came to the UK!), and better yet, it's only a couple of blocks from the Pump Room and the Roman Baths, where so much of the action in Tangle takes place. I can't wait to go - and if any of you guys are in the Bath area between 1-3pm tomorrow, I hope you'll stop by and say hi!

I've been excited about the Bath signing for months, but this morning I got a surprise that came completely out of the blue. A bonafide Mysterious Package (TM) fell into our foyer. I didn't recognize the sender's name, but the package was large and soft. I opened up the protective plastic outer layer and found another package wrapped in tissue - and tied with ribbons labeled "Jane Austen Centre Gift Shop"!

Ohhh. You guys know how I feel about the Jane Austen Centre gift shop. I still didn't know what it was or who had sent it, but I was already practically drooling. I untied the ribbons, opened up the packaging...

...And found a note that read: "To Steph, Why should Kat get all the nice reticules?! Congratulations on the publication of your second book!" It was from my wonderful UK editor Emma Goldhawk, fab Templar editor Helen Boyle, and everyone else at Templar books. And the gift was a beautiful, handmade silk Regency-style reticule.

I have the best editors - and publishers - in the entire world. And I am very happy right now, sitting with my reticule within easy stroking distance. Of course I will be taking it with me to Bath tomorrow! And I will proudly carry it with me to the Pump Room...although I very much hope to cause less chaos there than Kat did in my book. ;p

Thanks so much to everybody who's helped me celebrate Tangle's release this week! Behind the scenes this summer, there's been a fair amount of private stress and worry, but this week has just felt like a perfect gift.

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So you can imagine just how excited I was to discover Wolf Watch UK - a wolf sanctuary located in Shropshire, right by the Welsh border. I just spent the last half hour clicking from one page to the next, pretty much drooling over every single one. Sadly but sensibly, you can't visit the sanctuary with children under sixteen years old, so we won't be taking any family trips there for another 13 years or so, but I already know my next fantasy trip out. (I want a day-time visit AND a night visit.)

And ohhh, as a writer playing with a WIP about werewolves, how I yearned over this distance-learning course they offer on wolf behavior! Better yet, it includes two visits to the sanctuary. If only I had a spare £350 sitting around the house, I would be leaping at the idea!

Totally unrelated to any writing issues, though, I just love that this sanctuary exists, and I'm definitely planning to participate in their adopt a wolf program as soon as I can.

And now circling back to writing, and to things that you can enjoy completely for free...

I'm part of SF Novelists, a group of professional SF & fantasy authors, which has just released its first collective, free ebook, Opening Acts: Twenty-Five Science Fiction & Fantasy First Chapters. 

It includes the first chapter of my Kat, Incorrigible, as well as first chapters from a whole host of fabulous SF & fantasy novelists like Jim Hines, C.E. Murphy, Jenn Reese, Janni Lee Simner, Caitlin Brennan (a.k.a. Judith Tarr), and many, many more. Click here to see the whole list.

You can download the ebook for free in epub, mobi (for Kindle), LRF, or various Smashwords formats. It's a great way to try out lots of different authors and books for free, and I'm really happy to be a part of it. (And isn't the cover great? Jenn Reese designed that - remember when I was raving about her Tiger Bright Studios? She is REALLY good.)

What about you guys? What discoveries have you made recently, large or small, that made you happy?

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Ever since Michelle started her “Amazing Women” series, it’s been one of my top blog-reading highlights every week. I love getting personal snapshots of other women’s life stories - and their teenage survival stories, too, since even those of us with the happiest childhoods still had to survive the traumas of teenagehood.

(I remember sitting in pep assemblies back at my high school in America, listening to the teachers yell: “These are the best years of your lives!” - and I’d sit there in the bleachers thinking: “Oh, NO. Please, please, please don’t let that be true...because if it is, my life sucks!”)...

I am so grateful to be able to report that those teachers were wrong: everything got so much better after I escaped high school! And you can read the rest of the entry here. I'd love it if you'd leave a comment there, too, if anything occurs to you.

Because it's launch week, my UK publishers have set up a great Tangle blog tour. Along with today's entry and Monday's entry over at Chicklish, I was also interviewed by Sophie Waters yesterday about desert island books, Bath, my favorite Austen hero, and more.

And if you haven't had a chance to read Kat, Incorrigible yet, you can win a copy by commenting on this interview at Literary Rambles. I answered great questions about the differences between the US and UK editions and what it's like to live in a different country from my agent, among other topics, and my American publishers have offered to give a copy of Kat to one commenter.

Whew! And I think that's it. Here's the great advantage of pre-arranged blog tours: they make me look so productive! Just look at all those guest blogs and interviews! I must be just buzzing with activity this week, huh?

...or, er, not. Actually, at the moment I'm hanging out on the couch, resting up after Cardiff. But hey, I am planning a trip into town later today, to see Tangle in my local Waterstones! So that's, um, almost like productivity...right?

Don't answer that question, please. ;p

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Last year, when A Most Improper Magick came out, I took photos of AMIM's celebratory café trip. A Tangle of Magicks, though, is Book 2, so I thought it deserved an even better celebration...especially since, by sheer coincidence, it came out on the same day as the Iron Maiden concert in Cardiff, which Patrick had bought tickets for a year ahead of time!

(This is the awesome thing about marriage, or any other kind of romantic partnership. I grew up a classical musician, and when I listened to music for fun, it was usually opera. Then I met Patrick, who grew up loving heavy metal...and it turned out that our tastes were surprisingly complementary! If I hadn't met Patrick, I'm certain I would never have gone to a metal concert in my life...and I would have been missing out on a lot of fun!)

So I decided that Tangle deserved a proper Publication Day Tour. We started on the train to Cardiff:

Once we got to Cardiff, of course Tangle needed to stop in a café, for old times' sake...

And after stopping off at our hotel, it was time for the Big Celebratory Dinner:

And OMG was that dinner good!!! We went to the Juboraj (Mill Lane) restaurant, and it was the best Indian food I've had since leaving Leeds two years ago. It was amazing. We were sooo frustrated that we didn't have a fridge in our hotel room, so we couldn't take back the leftovers. I made a valiant attempt but couldn't eat more than half of the delicious food...and even so, by the time we left, I felt like a snake who had swallowed an antelope and would need to sit very, very still for a month or two to digest. I needed - ahem, Tangle needed - a little rest back at the hotel.

But then it was time for...the concert! And oh, it had been so long since we'd been to a Maiden concert, I'd forgotten just how much sheer energy pulses through the arena even before the band comes onstage - so many thousands of people so excited...it's an incredible feeling, and it was so much fun to be a part of it!

It was our first late-night date since MrD was born, nearly three years ago, and it was such a great time - and so different from our normal routine. It really was the perfect way to celebrate Publication Day.

This morning we woke up at 9am - unheard-of-bliss, as a toddler-parent! - and wandered out of the hotel to Carluccio's, a lovely and decadent place to eat breakfast. The panettone (fruited bread, a bit like English teacakes but not) was delicious, the latte was wonderful, and the croissants were warm and luscious. Publication Day was over, and we were on our way back to real life...and it all just felt great.

Thanks so much for celebrating with me, guys!

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Here's a quick snippet:

Now, I am not a method actor. I don’t have to do everything my characters do. I feel no need to live by candle-light for a month or use a chamber pot just because my heroine has to. (There’s a reason why I’m happy to live in twenty-first century Britain instead of Regency Britain, no matter how fun it is to visit inside books!)

But unfortunately...

Read the full entry here.

.

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I knew it, but I couldn't do it. Because the problem was, I knew exactly what Kat would do next, in the sizzling magic of the Roman Baths in Bath, and how her family would get tangled up in deeper and deeper social and magical trouble, and just how far she would go to get them out of it...and I just couldn't resist. I loved those characters too much to let them go. I had to write their next story, just for myself, even if no one else ever saw it.

Today, almost exactly four years later, Kat Book 2 is being officially published in the UK as A Tangle of Magicks. On Saturday, I'll be going to Bath to sign copies of the book in the Waterstones that sits about a block away from the Pump Room and the Roman Baths, where so much of the magic and adventure take place. It feels...well, honestly, it feels surreal. But oh, does it make me happy.

In celebration of publication day, I've posted Chapters Two and Three on my website, so you can now read the full first three chapters of A Tangle of Magicks / Renegade Magic. I really hope you enjoy them...and I am really looking forward to finding out what people think of the thing that happens in Chapters Two and Three! (Note: these chapters do contain spoilers for Book 1.)

And as a general thank-you to everybody on this blog who cheered me on along the way, I'm holding a giveaway that lasts until midnight tonight, US Pacific time.

If you're in the UK or Europe, you can enter to win a published copy of A Tangle of Magicks, just by posting a comment on this entry saying that you want to enter the drawing. (This is really important because I want people to feel comfortable leaving a comment even if they don't want to enter the drawing!)

If you're in the US or Canada, you can enter to win an ARC of Renegade Magic, again by posting a comment on this entry saying that you want to enter the drawing.

If you live anywhere else in the world, just let me know which you'd prefer, the American ARC or the British paperback.

And if you'd like to comment but don't want to enter the drawing, don't worry - I won't enter anyone who hasn't specifically asked to be a part of the giveaway!

I'm just really, really happy and amazed that another book of my heart is really out there in the world. Thanks for hanging out with me along the way!

ETA: This giveaway is now closed.

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The last time I heard it, I was nineteen years old, just starting at the Oberlin Conservatory of Music, where I'd transferred to begin my third year of college. I was terrified that I wasn't really cool enough, talented enough, or smart enough to fit in there...and while I ended up really loving many things about Oberlin, especially the amazing and inspirational music history professors, that sense of am-I-really-cool-enough-to-be-here? never really went away...

...which led to me purposefully and voluntarily erasing, for a while, all the things about myself that didn't fit in with my new boyfriend, my new lifestyle, and my new self-image. Years later, I would have to go back and laboriously re-learn what it was, exactly, that I honestly loved, whether it was cool or not. (For instance, I spent far too long, while at Oberlin, trying to only read and write literary fiction, because that was much more Serious and Cool.)

When I was nineteen, sitting in late-night parties or listening to my new boyfriend and his friends talking, I heard the Cool People talking about how fabulous Coltrane was, and how cool this piece was, on a technical, musical level. I listened, but I didn't get it. I didn't connect. So it became one of those moments when I nodded along for the Emperor's-New-Clothes effect (because oh, I couldn't possibly let them figure out how un-cool I really was!)...but felt quietly scared and sad and even slightly resentful about the whole thing.

Note: this is not the fault of the boyfriend and his friends, who were nothing but welcoming to me. This had everything to do with my insecurities, and it was nothing they were doing intentionally.

But still, those were the unhappy, uncomfortable feelings associated in my head with this piece for the last fifteen years.

Then I listened to it again today, just because of that beautiful blog entry about it, and...huh. Something clicked. This time, listening to the music by myself at thirty-four, I didn't hear the message "this is cool and intellectual and aimed at people who are much smarter than you'll ever be". Instead, I heard - and this is just my own personal take on it, but...I heard rueful humor in this music, and love.

I heard the song "My Favorite Things" - a song originally intended (in the context of The Sound of Music) as a sweet, innocent comfort for young children frightened by a thunderstorm - being played by a grownup and played for grownups who aren't that young or innocent anymore. Grownups who've been through real emotional storms and are looking back on them now, ruefully and with some maturity. A piece of music about the stuff we love, the stuff that can still get us through the storms of life, even as adults who know just how bad things can really get...but who can find pleasure and love in the world anyway.

I have no idea what Coltrane actually intended with this piece. But that's what I hear now, and I really love it. I'm glad I came back to it, after fifteen years. I'm glad to have something that used to be associated in my mind with intimidation and low self confidence, turned into something beautiful and real.

Here's the video, found via the blog entry that made me go back and listen to it again:

What about you guys? Have you ever had the experience of going back to a piece of music, or a movie or a book, that meant nothing to you in the past...only to find yourself loving it, years later?

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The Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) East Africa Crisis Appeal

Doctors Without Borders

Save the Children East Africa Food Crisis Appeal

If you guys know of any other good organizations I should be adding to this list, please let me know in the comments and I'll add them.

ETA: I'm adding to the list, based on recommendations in the comments to this entry: Mercy Corps

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...and as a very small thank-you to everyone who's read Kat Book 1 (whether they read it as Kat, Incorrigible or A Most Improper Magick), I've posted a free copy of my Kat short story on my website. The story is called "Duelling Magicks", and it's set between the events of Kat Book 1 and Kat Book 2 (so - WARNING! WARNING! it does include spoilers for Kat Book 1).

Here's a little snippet, which I hope isn't too spoilerific:

If there was any prospect in the world more horrifying than a shopping trip, it had to be a shopping trip with my stepmother. And if there was anything worse than shopping with Stepmama, it was shopping with her and both of my older sisters for my oldest sister’s upcoming wedding--also known as Stepmama’s New Obsession.

My oldest sister might be the closest thing to a mother that I had ever known, but even for Elissa, I could only go so far. I would have stepped between her and a rampaging highwayman in a heartbeat, but when it came to spending hours upon hours in a millinery shop while Stepmama insisted on testing every fabric and Elissa speared me with Looks of Guilt every time I let out a sigh...well, enough was enough.

Luckily, I had a plan.

Unluckily, my sisters knew me well....

Read the rest of the story here.

Happy Friday, everyone!

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Oops.

Sadly, that strategy hasn't really worked out very well. I'm assuming that LJ is under attack by hackers again, in which case I don't want to blame them for it, but still, I think I just have to assume that they're out for the count, at least for now.

Today I spent forty minutes on the phone with the tax credits office, and most of those minutes were spent on hold, listening to the same Muzak over and over again in an endless soul-sucking loop of despair...and by the time the deeply confusing phone call finished, it was evident that I would have to phone them again later this afternoon. Wahhh! So the honest truth is, I'm writing this blog post as a procrastinatory tool. (See, I'll call them back just as soon as I write a blog post, which is practically work...or, well, not really. But it's fun. Does that count, at least a little bit?)

Patrick just brought me a freshly-made blueberry smoothie, though, and it's so delicious that I'm feeling very nearly brave enough to throw myself once more into the tax breach. So I'm going to share the goodness with you. Here is our recipe (adapted from Cathe Olson's The Vegetarian Mother's Cookbook):

Blueberry Smoothie Delight

Open up your blender. Measure in 3/4 cup plain yogurt and 1/2 cup of apple juice. Take out a 1-cup measure, and chop a banana into it. Then fill the rest of the cup with frozen blueberries and tip it into the blender. After that, fill a second cup with just blueberries and add that, too. (So, it's 2 cups of fruit total, made up of one banana and as many frozen blueberries as will fit.)

Put the top on the blender. Push the "blend" button. Give your dog a stern, Medusa-like Gaze of Doom and a commanding "QUIET!" so that she does not spend the entire blending time barking frantically to alert the neighborhood to the danger of a working blender. (Um. This is just a normal part of the blending routine for everybody, isn't it???)

As soon as the blending stops, release your magical control over your dog,  pour the cold, delicious smoothies into tall glasses, and pop in colorful straws just for fun. If you sip very deeply, you'll feel cold goodness rushing through you, and even the horrors of Muzak and tax offices can never triumph against that.

Or, at least, I hope not...What are your challenges this week? Let the force of blueberry smoothies stand against them!

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So.

I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about Oslo, and particularly what happened out on that island. I have personal, first-hand experience of the pain and fury and grief and trauma of losing just one beloved member of a family to random gun violence. The thought of that happening to about 85 families...and for the victims to be kids...

There are no words. And I'm not quite ready yet, in the middle of this weekend full of horrible, tragic news from around the world, to do my burbling about the really wonderful stuff that happened to me on Friday. I will soon, because it was real and it was lovely and it deserves to be remembered...but not quite yet.

I did want to point, though, to a couple of the things that have been comforting or distracting for me this weekend.

Yesterday, after I couldn't bear to read any more of the news for a while, I read Keris Stainton's YA novel Jessie <3 NYC, and it was lovely - a sweet, charming love letter to New York City and all the NYC-set rom-coms out there. It took me a few chapters to completely get into it, but then I really, really enjoyed it. It made me smile even on a really dark day, and I'm so grateful for books that can do that.

I also really love these beautiful Paige Bradley sculptures, which I found on Terri Windling's blog. They're full of peace and beauty, and I spent a long time looking at them yesterday, first on Terri Windling's blog (where my first link goes), and then on Paige Bradley's own website. I don't have the right vocabulary to talk about them as art, but I can say that something about them really, really helped me, in an almost spiritual way.

What about you guys? Where are you finding comfort right now?

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...or, er, not, because I still cannot find the crucially important bit of tax info we need IMMEDIATELY, and I still have three more sets of in-depth, intelligent interview questions to answer, two book extracts to choose, and a vlog to do, not to mention a speech to write and a haircut to schedule and get done within the next 36 hours, oh yes and a meal to cook and the house to tidy, too, during my off-hours from childcare...but instead of doing any of those things, I am lying flopped on our living room couch, not moving.

Oops.

Does everyone feel all the time just a little bit overwhelmed by grownup life and responsibilities, a tiny bit like they're never managing to keep up with everything as quickly as they really ought to? Or is that just me?

Hmm. On second thought, maybe don't answer that question. I might have to move under the couch and hide there forever, depending on what the answers might be. (Because along with that constant sense of not-quite-fast-enough is a sinking feeling that everyone-else-does-this-better-and-faster...sigh.)

But! Rather than ending this entry on a whine, I'm going to end it on something incredibly wonderful that happened on Monday afternoon, one of those things that makes all the couch moments worthwhile.

MrD and I were at the far end of our street, taking Maya on a walk, when I saw a UPS van pull up in front of our house. I have NEVER run so fast while carrying a toddler! But it was totally worth it...

...because we caught him just as he was about to give up, and what he was carrying? Was this:

I look at this picture and see my hair that needs cutting, my living room that needs tidying...but most of all, I see the joy I felt, that I still feel every time I look across the room at the box of books. My second book, really really real.

Someone asked on twitter whether it felt just as good to hold my second book in my hands. It does. It really, really does.

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Patrick and I got a very scary phone call yesterday from the friend who was out walking her, letting us know that Maya had disappeared while chasing birds. Needless to say, we went tearing out to join the search. When we eventually found her, it turned out that she had fallen into the river, been swept away, and hadn't been able to climb out by herself. :(

Thank goodness, some dog-lovers had heard her barking and had rescued her...but we've been feeling pretty shaky ever since. Needless to say, she has gotten more cuddles in the last 24 hours than she had in the whole week beforehand! We're so, so relieved to have her back safe and sound.

(BTW, I'm not going to go into the whole story here, but just to be clear: it absolutely wasn't our friend's fault, just one of those awful mishaps that can happen to anyone. In a way, that made it even scarier, though!)

Everything's looking up over here, though. Maya is happy and safe, and MrD is recovering really well from last week's illness. Plus, Patrick gave me what any parent will recognize as the Best Gift Ever: he let me sleep in yesterday until ten o'clock! (Since one parent generally has to rise at 6am with MrD, letting the other one sleep until 10 is a Really Big Deal.)

I felt like a different person after I finally got up. And I wasn't even woken by anybody at that point! I just happened to wake up on my own. Wow, I really don't remember the last time that happened. Whoever said that parents talk about sleep the way other people talk about dangerous and illicit pleasures was SO right. It really is that rare and longed-for!

Today MrD and Patrick are off on a school trip for MrD. I'm working on edits for Kat3 and writing guest blogs for the upcoming Tangle blog tour. (Just two weeks till it's out in the UK - eep!) I'm also getting ready for all the different bits of travel I'm doing in the next month, starting with this week's trip to Waverton to meet the kids who voted in the Waverton Good Read Children's Award. I can't wait!

And while I am definitely, definitely feeling the prickings of oncoming Publication Day Craziness (to say the least), I've had some lovely reassurances lately, especially this blog review of Tangle by Sophie at So Many Books, So Little Time. I usually try not to link to too many reviews here, but this one just came with absolutely perfect timing for my pre-publication day nerves. It made me so happy to read it!

What about you guys? What are you doing this week?

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...here's my true Yes! moment as a writer:

It was early 2010, still months before my book was due to be published (and, as it turned out, over a year before it would be published). It wasn't even close enough that I was expecting big review publications to start reviewing it yet. I turned on my computer just to check my email quickly before my morning writing session.

There was an email in the box with the title of my book as its subject line. I opened it up...

You can read the rest of the entry here - and I'd love it if you commented to share one of your own yes! moments, in writing or just life in general. It's been a tough few days over here, between child-illness and my own annoying health issues, so it was cheering to write this entry, and I'd love more cheer-up material. :)

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I raved here about Tricia Sullivan's novel Lightborn when it first came out last year, talking about how it has "all the intense speculation of the best science fiction, but also...the sheer, heart-thumping excitement of a really great zombie thriller". You can read my full review of it here - and since it was shortlisted for a Clarke Award (the top award in British science fiction), an awful lot of other people appear to have agreed with me about it!

As well as being an award-winning science fiction author, though, Trish is also a parent, and someone I've frequently gone to for personal advice in my own parenting journey. So when I asked Trish to do a guest post here, rather than asking her to write about Lightborn in particular, I asked her if she could talk instead about an issue that's really crucial to me, personally, as I settle into being a professional writer and a parent (but which applies to plenty of non-parents, too): juggling.

Here's what she had to say...  

Juggling

by Tricia Sullivan

Not long ago I attended a travelling circus performance with my daughter, who is six. I was fascinated by all sorts of things about it, but especially the juggler. He was muscly, dressed in a corny red leather vest and tight pants with flames going up the sides, and he performed to loud quasi-thrash while his Lovely Assistant posed nearby, occasionally offering props and gesturing like Vanna White, or maybe like a dog pointing: look! Look what the juggler can DO!

What he could do was pretty impressive. I tried learning to juggle years ago, when I was studying martial arts and learning a little Filipino stick. I remember standing in my front room dropping the practice sacks, waiting for a clue to strike (it never did). I didn't even get as far as Charlie:

And I definitely didn't get as far as Anthony:

But my little experiment with juggling fed into my interest in unconscious processes, in cycles, and in rhythm. One thing that I noticed about the circus juggler was the way his body picked up on the many sub-divisions within the 4/4 beat of the music. You could see the rhythm flickering through his body, and on his face as he gazed up at the clubs there was an ecstatic expression. He literally looked high.

And here's where I started to get perplexed.

I mean, how could juggling ever be fun?

Ever?

Here's where my personal bugbears come sniffing around. You see, juggling (in the metaphorical sense) is the bane of my existence. I hate multi-tasking. I'm forgetful. I'm either focused on one single thing or I'm in la-la-land. I can't keep track of my own hands and feet, let alone run a business or a household. Yet I do both. Every day of my life is an exercise in throwing stuff up in the air and then cringing, waiting for it all to fall down. I have three kids. When they were really small I juggled them back and forth physically and in every other sense. I work part-time administering my partner's business. I study with the OU. I write. I train. I run the household. And I am not cut out for any of it, bar writing.

What am I cut out for? Oh, staring out the window. Going for long walks. Occasionally hurling myself at some sudden plan. Reading. Getting so deeply into my work that I have to be prised out with a chisel. But none of that random daydreaming intensity has been a part of my life since I had kids.

Learning to juggle has been the by-product of much failure and teeth-gnashing. So I can't quite explain the ecstasy of the juggling master, but I can offer some journeyman tips. Maybe they can help you if you find yourself caught unwitting in a Juggling-Mandatory zone.

* Trust yourself.

* Think of it like this: rhythm means that there are spaces between the beats. These are the spaces you have to exploit in order to get anything done. You throw something up and then work on something else within the available space. To find the beats-between-the-beat you have to sense the size of the time available--and this is more of a subjective sense of time than a datapoint involving clock time. You have to be able to trust that there is enough time (or, if there isn't, you've got to get rid of one of the balls).

* But if you spend all your time panicking about not having enough time and then procrastinating because it's all so overwhelming, then you really won't have enough time. Take it from me.

* So you have to trust yourself. I say it twice because it's twice as important. Paradoxically, you have to relax.

* Don't add more than one ball at a time. When you do add one, be prepared to drop three. Rhythm isn't something you just have. It's something you find.

* Unlike real gravity, the gravity of creative work is not fixed at 9.8 ms-2. It's flexible. So if you throw your writing up in the air and let it hang there while you attend to something else, your writing will be surprisingly patient about hanging up there a little longer than it really ought to have to. If you leave it too long it will get stale and when it falls into your hand it you won't recognise it. That does suck. You have my sympathy. But creative projects are surprisingly resilient. Especially if you leave yourself little notes about what you were planning to do. Even half-dead things can be revived with a little CPR.

* Rhythm doesn't mean lockstep. Your working rhythm can be ragged, sloppy, syncopated against life's bumps. Think reggae, not the William Tell Overture. You'll be happier.

* There are going to be times when everything falls on your head. There is no way that won't happen. It will happen more than you think you can stand. You have to stand it anyway. No choice. Just have a good cry, then pick yourself up and start over, one thing at a time.

* Engage in self-care whenever possible. This is your equivalent of having a Lovely Assistant point to you and make you look better. (Unless you have a cheering squad, but many people don't.) You can make your own Lovely Assistant out of cardboard and Ben & Jerry's. Take care of yourself.

* Remember the ecstasy on the juggler's face? I've been thinking about it for weeks, and I reckon it's the ecstasy of being fully engaged, fully alive, fully present to the moment-by-moment occasion. Whatever thing you are doing right now, forget all the balls in the air and do that thing for all you're worth. Even if it's washing the dishes. Being fully invested in what you are doing will make you disappear. And that's where the ecstasy is.

****

Thanks so much, Trish!

And for anyone who'd like to check out Trish's fabulous adult science fiction novel, Lightborn, just leave a comment on this blog entry asking to be entered in the drawing for a copy! The drawing is open to anyone in the world, and I'll pick a winner in one week.

ETA: This giveaway has now ended.

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...Then I had a CFS crash. Wah!

I got my US editor's notes for Kat 3, and they're great - hugely positive, and she says it's her favorite book in the trilogy. Woot woot woot!

...but I went to MrD's school sports day and had a surprisingly hard time dealing with my own bad childhood memories, which sprang up with surprising freshness even after so many years. (I was a physically uncoordinated, unathletic kid who couldn't stand large group activities anyway, so I always felt furious at being forced to take part in competitions I found inane and pointless, and completely humiliated by how badly I performed in them. If only some of the public competitions could have been based around academic skills instead of athletic skills, every once in a while!) Sigh.

I got through the sports day, for MrD's sake, by focusing on clapping and cheering enthusiastically for all the kids who were trailing the furthest behind in each race. (Of course that was exactly the kind of kid I used to be.) So many people stop clapping long before the slowest kids ever reach the finish line. Talk about making the experience even more miserable for them!

But! I am locking those unfortunate childhood memories away again, at least until next year's Sports Day. I'll be more prepared next year: next year, I will bring chocolate!

And yesterday I got something in my email which was undilutedly AWESOME. It came from my UK editor, and it's a picture of what she'd just received in her office: a real, published copy of Kat 2, A Tangle of Magicks! 

It's really, really real, and I cannot wait to get my own copies. Isn't it beautiful?

I also found out the final, definite details for my UK launch party. It'll be on Friday, August 12th, at 6pm at the Waterstones in Abergavenny, Wales. My publisher is generously supplying a fabulous spread of food, and I'll be giving away one of the pieces of Kat jewelry that Emily Mah has made. I can't wait!

I would absolutely love to see any of you guys there. If you think you can come, would you do me a favor? Could you either call Waterstones to RSVP (on telephone number 0843 290 8105) or else tweet-reply your RSVP to @abergavbooks ? They're trying to get a good sense of numbers before the actual night. You can check out the facebook page for it, too, if you're curious.

I'll also be doing a signing (and possible reading/talk as well - I need to work out the details very soon!) at the Waterstones in Bath on Saturday, August 6th, at 1pm. Again, I'd love to see you guys there!

And on August 1st, the official publication date, I'll be giving away a copy of the book to anyone in ANY country, since I know a lot of you guys can't make it to either event. (If someone from Europe wins, they'll get a UK copy; if someone from North America wins, they'll get the very first Renegade Magic ARC!)

What about you guys? What's cheered you up this week?

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Right now we're about to eat an Indian takeaway dinner, so this blog entry has to be brief...but I just wanted to share the "Horrible Histories" sketch that made us both laugh a lot last night. It may be the worst possible dining experience - the reality television show "Come Dine With Me", set in ancient Rome:

Hope everyone's having a good - and non-Horrible - weekend!

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Alan Lee. Oh. My. God. Of course, if you're not a Lord of the Rings fan or a fantasy fan in general, you may not know what I'm talking about...but if you are - and oh, I am! - then you will know exactly how awe-stricken I felt. I had seen him on the DVD extras for every LotR film. I had adored his artwork forever. I was being introduced to Alan Lee, in person, and by a writer I loved, who told Alan Lee that she expected my novel would be selling soon and that he should look forward to it.

He smiled kindly and gave me his hand. "So, what's it about?" he asked.

I looked at Alan Lee, one of the artists I admire most in the world. I opened my mouth. And my mind went completely blank.

"It..uh...it..." Desperate to say something, anything, as the expectant silence grew pained, I took a deep breath. "It's, um, set in an eighteenth-century palace and it-has-a-smoke-monster-that-eats-people!" I blurted.

It has a smoke monster that eats people? That was my one-line description of my beloved novel, which was all about opera and romance and magic in Haydn's Eszterháza Palace?!

"A smoke monster that eats people, huh?" Alan Lee's eyes crinkled with amusement that he was clearly trying very hard, and very kindly, to suppress. "Well," he said, "I'll look forward to it."

Then he turned back to the writer who'd introduced us, and I tried very hard to believe that this was all just a bad dream. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

That really is how bad I am at talking up my own work.

But! I love talking about the work I love that's being done by people I care about. So, right here and now, I want to give three quick shout-outs to some wonderful non-writing-work that's being done fabulously by people I know.

1. Websites: First and foremost to me, of course, is Patrick's new web design business, 50 Seconds North. Patrick spent seven years working on websites for the University of Leeds, and now he's finally gone freelance. Of course he did my website, as well as Lia Habel's lovely author website. If anyone out there is looking for a website - whether it's writing-related or not - I would genuinely recommend his work wholeheartedly even if we weren't married. (But since we are married, I recommend it EVEN MORE enthusiastically, of course! ;) )

2. Covers: Jenn Reese is a wonderful writer and an amazingly supportive friend and critique partner - in fact, the third (as-yet-untitled) Kat book is jointly dedicated to her and Justina Robson, as Kat's joint godmothers! But today's shout-out isn't about her writing, for once. She's just begun her own freelance business, Tiger Bright Studios, designing print and ebook covers for authors and publishers. And oh, her covers are BEAUTIFUL! If I ever decide to put up an ebook on Amazon or elsewhere, I'll be hiring Tiger Bright Studios in a heartbeat, and I recommend her work hugely to anyone who wants a beautiful, affordable cover for any purpose. Just check out the portfolio on her website for many, many good reasons why!

3. Jewelry: Emily Mah was one of my fellow classmates at the Clarion West SF/F writing workshop back in 2001. Now she's publishing short stories in great markets, but what I want to talk about here is her beautiful jewelry. She's become a professional jeweler, and I loved her jewelry from the first moment I saw it. What I didn't realize, though, until she approached me earlier this year, is that she's also brilliant at making bespoke jewelry that links into authors' books.

Of course I did a giveaway earlier this year of the beautiful Magick pendant she did for Kat. In another few weeks, I'll be holding another giveaway of an amazing charm bracelet she's also designed for the first Kat book, based on a list I gave her of the most important elements in the book. Later this year, she'll also be offering up a pair of earrings she's working on for Kat Book 2. I'd recommend her jewelry shop to anyone who enjoys beautiful jewelry, and if you're an author or other creator looking for tie-in jewelry, I'd also very much recommend her work.

There. Whew. Why is it so much easier to talk enthusiastically about other people's work than it is to talk about our own? I don't know. But it really is such a pleasure to recommend good work that other people have done.

What about you guys? Whose work would you like to talk up? I'd love to hear about it in comments. (Either that or: do you have an embarrassing moment of trying to talk up your own work? Please do share it to equal my moment of humiliation!)

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Now that we're living in a small town, we don't actually have an art museum to wander around. Just walking through the local market hall on Market Day can work sometimes - taking in the bustle of colors and people and different kinds of food and jewelry and everything else on sale. Even wandering through the local shops can help me clear my head and feel refreshed, although the more often I do that with the exact same shops, the less refreshed/inspired I feel, by default.

Yesterday, though, we found by far the most inspiring place I've been in ages - and better yet, unlike other wonderful spots I've found (like Puzzlewood - ohhh, the magic!), this one is less than half an hour's drive from home.

The Gliffaes Country House Hotel is, just like the name suggests, a country house set in the middle of a gorgeous private estate. It was built around 1885, and it's been a hotel ever since the late 1940s. The grounds and the tearoom are open to day visitors, and as we sat on the wide, lovely terrace overlooking the river, drinking tea and coffee, I kept on waiting for Miss Marple to tap me on the shoulder. She would have fit in perfectly there.

I don't remember the last time I went anywhere that felt quite so peaceful, but also so brimming with beauty and inspiration. We sat at a table by the low stone wall. Beyond the wall, the landscape dropped down to a gorgeous, fast-moving river. Lush green trees and hills rose beyond it. After we had our drinks, we walked down the path, through the 19th-century gardens down to the riverbank, where we found an old cabin perched just by the water. While the others went on for a walk, I sat on the porch of the cabin, filling up pages of my notebook with descriptions of the beauty all around me. After the rest of the family returned, we walked back up to order lunch on the terrace and imagine the Agatha Christie-style mystery that might be taking place within the house as we ate.

Unfortunately, I didn't have a camera with me, so I couldn't take pictures. I'll definitely bring my camera next time, though...and there will be a next time, very soon. Patrick and I are already planning some writing sessions there, on that beautiful terrace. I can't wait. Honestly, if we were wealthy, we'd be going back for a full weekend retreat...but as it is, day trips are a fabulous alternative.

What about you guys? Where do you go when you want to find peace, or inspiration?

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...but something completely unexpected arrived in my inbox instead, and it was amazing. Kat - under the UK title A Most Improper Magick - just won the Waverton Good Read Children's Award!

The Waverton Good Read Children's Award is voted on by 9- to 11-year-olds in Waverton and Chester, who are "invited to judge the best British début children's novel of the year." I was thrilled just to be included on the shortlist earlier this year. The fact that they actually chose Kat as the winning novel when they voted...that's beyond thrilling. That's almost overwhelming, especially coming on a week when I'd been honestly been feeling very nervous and uncertain about everything.

I'll be heading to Waverton to meet the kids at the end of July, and I cannot wait.

I might still be in a bit of limbo...but suddenly, it's hard to worry so much about it.

I got the news a couple of days ago but wasn't allowed to share it publicly until tonight. Today, I spent the day with MrD, taking him out to do things that I knew he would love, and being filled with happiness at his happiness. I didn't do any writing. But I didn't need to.

Right now I'm just feeling really, really grateful.

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It's the UK edition (which has a different first line from the US edition), and it begins:

My brother Charles was a hopeless gamester, a ridiculous over-sleeper and the one sibling too lazy to take part in any family arguments, no matter how exasperating our sisters might have been (and usually were). But he had one shining virtue as an older brother: he was infinitely persuadable.

“You do know, Kat,” he whispered, “Stepmama will murder you for this if she finds out.”

(Read the rest of the chapter here.)

So, in other words, any of you who wished that you could see more of Charles in Book 1...you are totally in luck! I hope you enjoy his first introduction. :) (But a quick warning: Chapter One of A Tangle of Magicks / Renegade Magic does include spoilers for Book 1. Danger! Danger!)

There's also a non-spoilery Behind the Scenes section which is basically my extended love letter to the city of Bath, my favorite city in the world. I'll actually be doing an event in Bath when Tangle comes out next month - on Saturday, August 6th, I'll be signing at the Waterstones in Bath at 1pm. If any of you guys are around, please do come and say hello!

So. Needless to say, working on my website is what I've been doing recently! Now that the new section is up, though, I rewarded myself this morning by working on a just-for-fun, silly, funny short story. I have no idea whether anything will ever come of it, but it made Patrick laugh more than once when I read the story-so-far out loud to him, so I'm counting it as a huge personal success regardless. :)

What about you guys? What's made you laugh recently? Or, alternately: what have you done for yourself as a reward?

(And if you're in the UK, Ireland, or anywhere else that gets the UK edition: I will offer you my undying gratitude if you publicly link to the first chapter of Tangle anywhere on the web, whether it's on your blog, twitter, facebook, or anywhere else like that. Just let me know that you've done it and I will thank you profusely! I wish I had something more substantial to offer, but the ARC I'm giving away over on Goodreads is actually my last personal copy. But I will be really, REALLY grateful!)

(Needless to say, I'm also grateful to Americans and all others who link, but it's less of a pressing issue since Renegade Magic won't be coming out in the US until April 2012.)

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Waiting for the engineer right now feels only-too-symbolic. Right now I'm waiting in a bit of a limbo for various responses to different projects, any one of which could arrive any day now and totally change my writing priorities. And of course A Tangle of Magicks comes out in just 32 days! That feels totally surreal and exciting, both at the same time. I meant to have a whole new section of my website up for it by today, but, well, losing the internet didn't help with that...sigh. Soon, I hope!

But since I do feel in a bit of a limbo right now, it's hard to settle into fiction-writing - which means that I really needed and loved this video, "29 Ways to Stay Creative":

29 WAYS TO STAY CREATIVE from TO-FU on Vimeo.

My favorite line from the video is one I think I really need to tattoo onto the backs of my hands so that I can be forcibly reminded, over and over again:  

Stop trying to be someone else's perfect.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, do I need to hear that, and on a daily basis!

What about you guys? Are you waiting for anything right now? Join me here in the waiting room - I have chocolates! :)

And if you're not currently waiting on anything - what's inspired you recently? Any good discoveries, either on- or offline?

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I was scheduled to leave my hotel, after an hour and a half of hanging out there, at 5:30pm. Instead, I leapt out of my first cab from the train station onto the hotel steps at five thirty exactly. My lovely UK editor held our next cab for me while I raced up the three flights of steps to fling on my evening clothes in my hotel room, with no time for applying makeup. Then I lunged back down the stairs, fell into the second cab next to my editor...

...And the rest of the evening was amazing. SO MUCH fun! Honestly, I keep repeating that point every time I talk about it, but it really was almost shockingly fun, the most stress-free and fun event I've done in ages (probably since the last group reading I did with Jenn Reese, Sarah Prineas, and Patrick, back at Wiscon lo, those many years ago). The Free Word Centre in London is beautiful, just a perfect space for an event like that, and the moment we walked inside, my editor nudged me and whispered:

"Look, Steph, they knew you were coming!"

You see, she had just spotted the plate of fresh, deep chocolate brownies on the reception table, flanked by a big bowl of fresh strawberries. And she knows me well. I nearly started to drool right then and there. I told myself not to eat any until after the panel. What if I spilled crumbs all over myself?

Of course I didn't manage to wait. But I only ate half a brownie. So...okay, no, I'm not going to make any excuses. It was delicious.

And the panel itself was fabulous. Anthony McGowan was a great moderator, asking provocative and genuinely interesting questions to keep a lively debate going throughout. Isla Whitcroft, Colin Mulhern, and Anthony were all incredibly articulate and fun to talk to. I had a great time just talking away with them and could have done it easily for three times as long...except that there were drinks and more refreshments waiting in the reception area for us afterwards.

You can see a whole slideshow of pictures from the event on the Teen Librarian blog. (Note to self: next time, pick another top! It looked fine when I was standing up, but not so fine when I was sitting down...and I sat down throughout the panel. Oops. A lesson for next time...) I loved getting to meet so many new people before and after the event, and it was also great to see Alex Dally MacFarlane for the first time in way too long.

And then...the dinner. OMG. My editor, Emma, along with two other great Templar editors, Helen and Katie, took me out to the Zilli Green Restaurant, and it was incredible. I love Abergavenny, but I can't pretend to be a fan of any of the restaurants in my town, so this...this was almost overwhelming.

It was an all-vegetarian Italian gourmet restaurant, and it was the best food I've had in years. I ate an exotic starter I can't even begin to describe except to say: yum. Then I ate a mouthwatering main plate of tagliatelle with porcini mushrooms and white truffle oil. And then...then it all ended in this: 

(Photo taken by editor Emma!)

It was tiramisu - and unbelievably, it was vegan tiramisu. I LOVE tiramisu. I am a tiramisu worshipper. But this? This was one of the best tiramisus I have ever had in my entire life. In case you haven't guessed, I hugely, hugely recommend the Zilli Green restaurant for anyone who goes to London, whether you're vegetarian or not.

And I am soooooo grateful to my editor, publishers, Bounce! Marketing, and the National Reading Agency, for giving me such an incredible experience all 'round!

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Well. The haircut is actually really, really good, my favorite in a long time. But unfortunately...

I was hungry when I got into town, a little early for my appointment, so I headed for a nice, cheap little Italian pizza deli I've eaten at before. As I sat at an outdoor table, eating delicious pizza that dripped heavily with grease, I soaked in the ambience. It was one of those moments when I thought: Wow. I really do live in the UK, don't I? Mostly, I take that for granted nowadays. But as I ate my pizza with increasingly-sticky hands, I really enjoyed looking at the cobblestones of the narrow, winding, pedestrian-only streets all around me, and the massive, Tudor-era stone grammar school towering over all the buildings, just as it had done ever since 1542. The combination of history and the modern-day felt even more delicious than the pizza.

When I finished the pizza, I tossed the grease-covered paper carrier-bag into a trash can and headed out for my haircut. Less than an hour later, I looked great! Professional, reasonably attractive, maybe even just the tiniest bit chic...

And then the nausea started, soon afterwards. And I'll spare you all the rest of the gory details...

...but I'll just say that having had my first-ever experience of real food poisoning, I have no interest in EVER repeating it, please. It's been no fun whatsoever. I finally gave up and got out of bed this morning at 4am, since I hadn't slept for hours anyway. I'm really, really worried and crossing fingers about whether the CFS will let me make my long-awaited London trip tomorrow. I really desperately hope so.

The haircut is great. But next time I want to prepare for a professional outing, I'll just pack a lunch. :(

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Later, in situations ranging from summer camp to university orientation, counselors would say: "We're not here to do all the cooking and cleaning for you, because we're not your mom!" And I thought: Why would my mom do all the cooking and cleaning? I was totally baffled by that stereotype, because as far as I could tell, from the perspective of a child in our family, my parents really seemed to divide up the cooking and the cleaning as equally and fairly as possible.

Later yet, I got pregnant, opened up about a zillion different parenting books...and found that every single one of them (except for one lone, beautiful exception in a *1972* edition of Dr Spock) assumed that the mom would be the primary parent, with the dad only offering "help" as a kindness. I was shocked. I was bemused.

Luckily, so was Patrick, who had absolutely zero expectation or desire to be a bit player in his child's life.

I am so lucky to be the daughter and the wife of two fathers who buck social stereotypes of fatherhood at every turn. The fathers in my life have been spectacular

.

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But seriously: oh, how I love writing in Kat's voice! It really does feel like such a decadent treat to go back to that. I'm already planning to write another Kat short story next year to go between Books 2 and 3, just as this one fits between Books 1 and 2. And I really hope you guys enjoy it when I post it online, in about five weeks!

(I'm counting on, first, some revision, then four weeks of exclusivity for the lovely bidder who won it at auction, and then a couple more days to get it online. Also, I haven't decided exactly how I ought to get it online. Would anyone be interested in a very, very cheap e-book version? I'm thinking right now that I'd probably also put it free on my website, but upload the e-book to Amazon/B&N/etc. just to make that a possibility for anyone who wants a copy on their e-reader. But who knows? I've got five more weeks to think it over. Let me know if you guys have any suggestions!)

I'm also pondering what to do with my livejournal account. I've been a paid user for years and have loved it, but I hate, hate, hate all the advertising they're splashing around lately, especially since they're making non-LJ users watch ads before commenting even on paid LJ accounts. Argh! And since I already mirror the blog on my own website, in some ways it makes a lot of sense just to slash the LJ and go website-only, or at least keep my LJ purely on an unpaid basis, trying my best to ignore the annoying ads. On the other hand, I love the LJ community, and I love (yes, this is shallow) getting to play with so many icons as a paid user. So, I've been swinging back and forth for the past few weeks. This morning, my paid account ran out, and I haven't decided whether or not to get a new one. Any LJ users: how do you feel about the current LJ situation?

And a final note: Patrick and I have both signed up for the Clarion West Write-a-thon this year! It's a cause I care passionately about - going to Clarion West was the best thing I ever did for my writing (not to mention being the place where I met Patrick!), and I could never have afforded it if I hadn't gotten a huge scholarship to attend. So I'm thrilled to be able to help fundraise more scholarship money for other writers who need it AND use it a goal-setting motivation for my own writing this summer.

You can check out my write-a-thon page here. I'm planning to write at least 3,000 words a week for the six weeks of the workshop, starting this Sunday. You can sponsor me by clicking the "donate" button on that webpage, and if you do, please let me know. As a thank-you gift, I'll happily email you a sneak peek at the first three chapters of Kat Book 2 (aka, A Tangle of Magicks in the UK or Renegade Magic in the US, where it won't be out until next April). And even if you don't donate any money, just general cheering on is hugely, hugely appreciated!

Happy Friday, everybody!

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Here's what used to be my fantasy of the ideal writing space, which I would surely have by the time I was a professional author:

 

Imagine a room filled with books and gorgeous artwork. There's a big comfy armchair in one corner. There are shelves of research books (since I write historical novels) helpfully close to the beautiful antique desk. There are flowers blooming in the corner. There is an atmosphere of absolute peace.

Hahahahahaha.

Ahem. Excuse me.

Now here's my actual writing space, as an officially professional author...

Read the full entry here - and please do leave a comment over there if anything occurs to you!

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2. I had the best mail today - April Lindner's Jane and Tessa Gratton's Blood Magic both arrived! I am actually so excited about both of them that it's hard to pick up either one. Does that ever happen to you guys? The anticipation is so great - and the competing pulls are both so strong - that it's hard to break the tension by settling on just one and picking it up! I'm also really excited that my pre-ordered copy of Sonia Gensler's The Revenant is heading toward me in an Amazon.co.uk box right now. I have had a REALLY good time with my birthday gift certificates!

3. I would be really, really happy if no one ever again wrote a sentence that goes like this: "Women [or even more blatantly "All women"] do X, and men do Y." I'm happy to be a woman. I've always felt like a woman, and also a feminist. And yet, somehow, I never, ever fit into any of those sentences (even when they're written by smart people whose politics I generally agree with), any more than the men I know fit into the generalizations about men in those same sentences.

Now, I do understand that anecdotal evidence doesn't equal statistical evidence. So I really am perfectly happy to accept that I am statistically unusual for my gender, and so are the men I know. But please, could we all just start adding the word "most" to our gender-generalization sentences? Just say "Most women do X while most men do Y", and I'll shrug and go along with it...without feeling like something's clearly gone very, very wrong with my two X-chromosomes.

(This particular rant was sparked by some stuff I've seen online lately, but it was also a problem several years ago when the Lord of the Rings films came out and various prominent female columnists in the UK sighed knowingly and went on at length about how obviously "all" women were bored by this whole type of film, especially the battle scenes, etc...and I thought, "I beg your pardon?" Because...well, yeah. If any of you were reading my blog back then, you'll know what a huge LotR fan I am, and I'm lucky enough to be friends with plenty of women who feel the same. "All women/men" sentences are just never a good idea!)

4. And now to make up for my rant, have some more Horrible Histories! I love this hilariously awesome Viking song (which was recommended to me by the fabulous Robin Bridges), "Literally":

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(And in contrast, if you haven't seen it before, you have to watch the music video they're riffing off, which I've always thought of as Kat's theme song: Adam and the Ants' Stand and Deliver!)

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Guess what? Fate had actually come through for me with a wildly exaggerated reward! No, there wasn't any champagne or chocolate inside the package...but there was something even better: beautiful, beautiful ARCs of Renegade Magic (the US version of Kat 2). Ohhhh, this cover is beautiful. Ohhh, it felt amazing to hold the ARCs in my hand!!!

And it's a sign of just HOW excited I am that I'm willing to post a picture here despite the fact that I REALLY REALLY REALLY need a haircut. But just look at those gorgeous ARCs!

So! It is a really good Friday, all in all. And even though I'm feeling flattened by my MONUMENTAL, AMAZING EXERTIONS (okay, now even I am starting to feel skeptical of my own hyperbole), luckily lots of other people have been posting great things on the internet for me to link to:

1. If you regularly read any fantasy or science fiction magazines, you've probably have read some of Theodora Goss's lovely short stories. Although I admire her work a lot, I don't usually personally identify with the way she thinks about writing. (She talks and thinks a lot on her blog about the seriousness of writers as Artists with a capital 'A', whereas I can't let myself think about what I do that way because it makes me feel wildly itchy and over-sensitized. It actually stops me from being able to create at all, because I'm too freaked out about whether it's Serious and Important enough. In order to relax and be creative, I need to think of writing not as Art but as Play, even when it's really, really hard play that takes tons of thought and effort.)

(Which is not, by the way, to imply that either mode is better or worse than the other. Everyone has to figure out what works for them, and I find it really fascinating to read about what makes other writers tick, especially when they work so differently from me.)

I do read her blog regularly, though, because she writes so beautifully, and every so often something on there really resonates for me despite our differences in personal approach. This week, she wrote something that made everything in me go: Click! and YES:

There’s one final thing I want to add, which is that underlying the foundation of belief is something deeper, something like a sort of calm. It’s as though when I sit down to write, my mind goes home – to the place it always wants to go. To a fishing village in Cornwall, or nineteenth-century London, or wherever my writing takes me, but really to the shore of the sea of imagination. The place where all invention comes from.

Imagine standing on a shore, looking out at the sea, a strange green sea whose waves are always coming in, edged with foam. And the waters of that sea, and the spray, are always forming into shapes: hippocamps, sorceresses, castles. Magical rings, glass mountains, dragons. Warriors. Witches. Trees that bear flowers and leaves and fruit all at once. All the ingredients of story. (I suppose in a way I’m playing with J.R.R. Tolkien’s image of the soup. Because the soup of story is made by human beings, but the sea of imagination – that existed long before us, and will exist long after.)

In a sense I always live both where I physically am, and on the shore of that sea. Because throughout the day, my mind is imagining. I’m living as a writer even when I’m not writing.

I really love all of that, but particularly that one line: It’s as though when I sit down to write, my mind goes home – to the place it always wants to go. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. That really is exactly how it feels. And you can read the rest of that blog entry here.

2. And on a lighter note - oh, how I loved this adorable Horrible Histories video on the 18th-century language of fans. So much fun!

(Found via Two Nerdy History Girls, one of my very favorite blogs.)

What about you guys? What's making you happy this week?

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At 6:30pm on the 23rd of June, I'll be on a panel (followed by drinks and book signing) at the Free Word Centre in London, talking with Anthony McGowan, Isla Whitcroft, and Colin Mulhern about capturing an authentic voice in MG and YA literature. 

It's a free event, and I would absolutely love to see any of you guys there! Anyone can attend, and if you think you'll be able to, please do RSVP to Tricia Kings (tricia.kings@readingagency.org.uk).

Considering that Cardiff feels like an ENORMOUS CITY to me at this point in my life, you can imagine just how giddily excited I am about my upcoming London visit... :)

In other news, this morning I finished the sixth chapter of my WIP...which means it's now officially long enough that I really ought to send it to my agent to get his input on it. The funny thing is, I used to think that once I was an Official, Published Author with a great agent, that kind of thing would be no big deal. Instead, of course, here I am with an absolutely fabulous agent and a second book going to print - but with exactly the same combination of nausea, nerves and excitement as I felt back when I was querying agents in the first place!

Some things never change...but any good luck wishes you guys can spare would be lovely as I wrestle with a proposal to go along with the chapters. (This is the bit of the process where I really wish I was an author who wrote from outlines!)

But here's something that makes me completely happy, unclouded by any nerves at all: the book trailer for Jo Knowles's upcoming book, Pearl. Jo is my favorite writer of contemporary YA fiction, bar none, and just to make me enjoy this even more, the guy she hired to make the trailer is my brother Dave! (The same filmmaker who made both of my Kat trailers.) So watching this trailer makes me really, really happy in a lot of ways:

You can also read an excerpt from Pearl on Jo's blog.

Whew. Now back to proposal-wrestling...and tearing through my closet trying to figure out what on earth I can possibly wear for the panel at the end of the month!

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Two hours is never long enough to be with one of your best friends - but it was so great to finally see Justina in person again, so great to see her kids growing up, and even after we had to part ways, Patrick and I got to wander through Hay hand-in-hand (MrD had stayed home with an adoring relative), browsing in bookstores (surprise!) and (in my case) devouring a freshly-made crepe from one of the stands that had been set up in the courtyard of the fabulous castle-bookstore. Mmm, fresh hot crepes: total bliss.

And of course, I came home with five new books. Honestly, I was proud that it wasn't any more than that! Our favorite used bookstore, one that takes up four enormous floors, was selling all of its books for £1 apiece - and it has a FABULOUS history/biography section. I may have drooled. My arms were full within minutes. I came home with biographies of Edith Wharton, Fanny Trollope (Anthony's mom, and a fabulously successful author in her own right), and Dodie Smith, along with one of Dodie Smith's memoirs, and a fun-looking science fiction romance for adults.

I love using biographies to soak up fascinating historical details, but more than that, I love reading biographies of writers, period. I felt so much better about my own emotional wimpiness (when it comes to the whole horror genre) after I read that even as an adult, Edith Wharton (author of some of my favorite - and some of the scariest - ghost stories ever!) actually once had to burn a book of ghost stories because they had freaked her out SO much, she couldn't go to sleep knowing that they were in the house with her!

I loved soaking up all the weird historical details of the lifestyle she grew up in (partly as historical research for my own WIP - I figure that my heroine's mom will come from a very similar background), but more than that, I loved recognizing reactions and ambitions that are pretty much universal to writers across the centuries, no matter what their backgrounds.

And ohhh, I winced at the description of her mother's entire response to her first novel (written when Edith was a young teen): a very flat, one-line response that Edith had gotten a social detail wrong. Period. Ouch.

(Just a quick shout-out here to my own mom: thank you for never doing that!)

What about you guys? Do you enjoy biographies? And if you do, what kinds do you look for?

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• Sitting in our backyard in the sunshine, feeling the grass under my bare feet and tipping my head back to bask in the warmth;
• Making ice cream milkshakes with MrD;
• Listening to MrD's fabulous stories, and sharing stories with him;
• Writing my current WIP, really loving the characters, sometimes giggling out loud at them as I write, and just loving getting to be along for the ride;
• Drinking luxurious lattes or mochas at Coffee Number One, my favorite coffeeshop (and small coffeeshop chain);
• Spending my birthday gift certificate money on so many of the books I've been wanting to read for ages;
• Admiring the white roses that climb up the arbor in our back yard;
• Knowing that the UK edition of Kat 2, A Tangle of Magicks, has already been sent off to get printed, so that soon, I'll hold my second published book in my hands;
• Talking to good friends on the phone;
• The fact that tomorrow, Patrick and I will get to go walk around Hay-on-Wye (Town of Books!), hang out with a wonderful friend and then hang out on our own, in a very nearly date-like situation;
• The fact that one of my brothers will be visiting us next month, so I'll finally be able to be with him in person for the first time in over three years;
• The fact that I can come share this list and feel at home here on this blog, with a community of people I've come to care about so much.

What about you guys? What gives you joy right now, large or small? I would really love to hear about it.

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In other words, there's been some frustration going on around here.

On the other hand...well, thank goodness for the iPad, is all I can say. Now that I've finally tried out the little attachable keyboard, I'm finding it a lot more usable. (I have the clumsiest fingers in the world, so the on-screen keyboard REALLY doesn't work for me.) And I am reminding myself, every time self pity strikes too hard, that Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë both miraculously managed to get their novels written without any computers at all!

Also, I had my birthday! It was lovely, especially since MrD is old enough now to really properly celebrate it with us. I am now rolling in lovely new books, sandals, jewelery, and music. I just now ate my last slice of leftover chocolate birthday cake, and it was delicious. So all in all, I can say that despite all accidents and domestic disasters, it's pretty darn good to be thirty–four years old.

What about you guys? What have your highlights - and/or lowlights - been, this past week?

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Last night, Patrick and I watched the latest Doctor Who episode. (No serious spoilers, I promise!) I'm a huge Doctor Who fan and have been ever since I was a kid. This episode was really well-written, brilliantly acted...and the revelation at the end (which had been built up to very cleverly throughout the series so far) really, really traumatized me, to the point where I actually no longer want to watch the rest of the series.

Yes, the plot development was very clever. But no, I don't think I'm going to watch any more episodes. For me, it took the show to a level so dark and upsetting that the show stopped feeling fun to me. And that's how I've always seen Doctor Who - as fun adventure that I can safely escape into. So for me, it felt like a broken promise to have something so awful happen to someone I cared about in the show.

But those are the key words: for me. This morning on twitter I saw someone tweet that she had been right about to give up on the series for different reasons, but then that revelation came, and suddenly she was on board again, drawn into the story and loving it. For her, clearly, that darkness was anything but a problem...and like it or not, the show-runners never made me any promises that nothing that bad would ever happen. Those were purely my own personal expectations.

And what is "too dark" anyway? Lots of dark things have happened in the last several series, none of which crossed my personal lines until now. This one didn't cross that other tweeter's line. And the thing is, I could come up with some plausible-sounding theories about why this plot point was morally bad and why it was wrong for them to do it (after all, I went to grad school, where I had to regularly write essays at a moment's notice, putting forward arguments I couldn't have cared less about - I can spin theories at the tip of a hat!) - but all that would actually, genuinely mean was: I hated that that happened. It hit my personal hot buttons, in a big way. But it had exactly the opposite effect on other people.

And as a writer, who has to read bad reviews as well as good ones of my work, it's really, really helpful to be reminded of just how subjective all this stuff really is.

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Now I know the answer: so that I could truly appreciate this video, which made me laugh hysterically. It's the 3-minute-long French existentialist version of Star Wars, which I found on the 2 Nerdy History Girls blog:

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I exist, and I find it nauseating."

Oh, this made me happy.

(In a similar fashion, I finally realized a few years ago that it had been worth sitting through the movie The Omen after all - because it made me get all the fabulous jokes in Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman's Good Omens.)

Just as an added bonus for anyone who is either an academic or (like me) an ex-academic, check out this utterly accurate answer to the question "How many historians does it take to change a lightbulb?" (which includes, of course, the response from peer reviewers). Yes, it's esoteric humor, but if you happen to have spent any time in grad school - or better yet, if you've ever submitted a paper to a peer-reviewed journal - I promise that you will enjoy it, too. (I found that one via Theodora Goss's blog.)

What about you guys? What were your favorite finds on the internet this week?

***

PS: I keep forgetting to mention here - I was interviewed by R.L. LaFevers (the author of the fabulous Theodosia books) over at The Enchanted Inkpot a couple of days ago. It was one the hardest set of interview questions I've ever had to answer, which resulted in one of my favorite interviews I've ever done. You can read it here.

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Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! It headed down the stairs Winnie-the-Pooh style, bumping every other step along the way. The sound of pain that came out of my mouth as I watched it...well, let's just say that it was a traumatic moment.

I feel very lucky that it's been working ever since then. I've made an appointment to take it to the closest Apple Store Genius Bar ASAP. And now I'm just knocking on wood like mad that it survives until then, since the noises it's been making ever since do sound horribly like a death rattle...

Sigh. I've spent most of my life wishing I was more graceful and less of a klutz. Can anyone make me feel at all better? I would love it if anybody else felt inspired to share one of their less elegant moments in the comments...

On the plus side, though, check out writer Lia Habel's fabulous new website, which Patrick (in his 50 Seconds North cloak) just designed! Isn't it gorgeous? It's very dangerous to be the wife of a really great web designer. It makes me think, hmm, what could my website do next?

Luckily, I love my website (also, of course, designed by Patrick!), and I don't actually need any changes yet. But I'm vicariously enjoying his new designs!

...at least when I'm not too busy worrying that my laptop might set itself on fire. Eep.

Rattle. Rattle. Rattle.

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Seriously, this is Research. It counts as Work. Seriously! ;)

This is the first time I've re-read Anne for at least twenty years, even though I read and re-read that book religiously as a kid. I'm really loving it this time 'round, too, and loving the re-discovery.

"I'm not surprised I identified SO much with Anne as a kid," I said to Patrick after my first reading session. "She's incredibly dreamy and creative and obsessed with books and stories, she gets made fun of for using long words out of books, she has no practical common sense at all..."

"So in other words," Patrick said, "you still identify with her. Right?"

Er. Well, yes, actually. I do. I should say that I am better at practical things now than I was when I was twelve (which is, admittedly, not saying a lot), and I managed to stop using "dictionary" words in ordinary conversation after my first year of college... ...but yes, of course I TOTALLY identify with her, still, all the same!

Which heroes/heroines do you guys still identify with? Or: which ones did you identify with as kids?

**

And PS: I just got a fabulous surprise package in the mail that totally made my Saturday and my weekend, after a rough day yesterday. It came from Atheneum, my US publisher, and it held two new copies of Kat - because Kat, Incorrigible has just gone into a second printing!!! It was the coolest news. I made excited squeaking noises, and there may have been some dancing involved. Possibly.

And I am about to start today's writing session in the BEST possible mood. :)

**

PPS: If you're in the UK, check out my British publisher's facebook giveaway of Kat Book 2, A Tangle of Magicks!

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But I really hope that you guys will end up being pleased by the results. Please knock on wood for me!

There's been a funny internal shift in my comfort levels, ever since Kat got published, in the way I talk publicly about my writing. In the old days, I used to talk in loving detail about every novel I wrote, honestly expecting that none of them would ever get published. Now, though, I feel really nervous about talking in too much detail about any uncontracted projects, in case people expect them to get published and then feel disappointed if they don't. (Note: this is all my own neurosis, and no one else is to blame for it!)

Over the last couple of months, I've played with three different possible novel ideas, writing a few chapters of each. I enjoyed them all in different ways, but I eventually decided that none of them felt right...at least, not yet. Maybe this one will turn out the same way, too, and then will I be mad at myself if I've talked about it too much here? Who knows? I really want to burble with excitement about my new project right here, right now, because I feel like I'm overflowing with giddiness about it, and I desperately want to share...but my newfound paranoia is holding me back Just In Case. Sigh.

But I will say that I haven't had this much fun writing anything in ages, and I am so, so grateful for that!

And yesterday I got one of the coolest surprises of my life in my email inbox. It was an email from an Italian Kat reader who loved the book so much that he made a beautiful fan book trailer for it!

When I watched it, I laughed out loud with delight, and it also made tears come to my eyes. It was so amazing that someone I don't know, from a different part of the world, read my book - that book I wrote so long ago, never expecting it to actually be published! - and loved it so much that he made this lovely tribute to it.

It really felt like magic.

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Here's a quick excerpt:

For someone who loves books so much, I have a really hard time answering this question. Every time people ask what my favorite book is - or what it was, when I was a kid - I start stammering. "Well, see, there are so many..."

I think the real problem is that books mean so much to me, and always have, that I feel guilty choosing among them, choosing favorites. Yes, I do know how insane this sounds. If I choose The Hobbit, The Mozart Season will not be personally offended! And yet...

So here is a declaration of love to an assortment of my favorite books from childhood...

Read the rest of the entry here. (And I'd love it if you left a comment over there about any of your favorite books from childhood!)

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Here's the rave I posted on Goodreads:

My very favorite Kearsley novel, and since she's one of my favorite authors in the world, that is saying a LOT. This book created a world of its own and sucked me straight in. I wished I never had to leave. It was so rich and vivid and ohhhhh, so deeply, deeply, romantic. It was also one of the most cleverly managed time travel novels I've ever read.

The eighteenth century sections were exciting and vivid, full of smuggling and action and danger along with an incredibly moving and powerful romance, and the modern sections were lovely too, and they all just fit together perfectly. I am in awe of Kearsley's storytelling abilities.

If you grew up reading & loving Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters and/or Mary Stewart, I can't imagine that you wouldn't love Susanna Kearsley, too. Read this book! :)

It's out now in Canada and the UK, and it'll come out in the US this autumn. You can also enter a giveaway to win a copy now.

Oh, did I love this book. I finished it half an hour ago, but my copy is still sitting by my side, because I don't want to let it go. I can already tell that I'll be re-reading it over and over again in years to come. It really is that good, and that special.

What about you guys? What was the last book that really blew you away?

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Loved:

1. Terri Windling's blog The Drawing Board has become my very favorite blog to read. I enjoy almost every entry I read there, and many of them move me and make me think about things in new (often better) ways. My favorite entry this week: The Things That Save Us

2. I've raved here frequently about how much I adore Alyxandra Harvey's Drake Chronicles - young adult romantic comedies complete with vampires, swordfighting, and oodles of witty banter. Delicious! When I read them, I feel like Harvey and I must have grown up loving the same classic books, like Prisoner of Zenda and Jane Austen's and Georgette Heyer's novels, and these are her own responses to those books, just like Kat is mine. (Who knows if that's actually true? But it's how I feel when I read the books.) She's running a great contest right now on her website, in conjunction with this trailer for the series:

(I have to confess that I love the books but do not love the trailer - I'm posting it purely to enter the contest, because I want the contest prize SO badly. But that's a good sign about how addictive her books are - and you should read the books even if you don't like the trailer!)

3. Jackie Dolamore is also holding a fun contest organized around the upcoming paperback release (on May 24th!) of her novel Magic Under Glass, which I reviewed last year on Goodreads, calling it "A really lovely mash-up of Jane Eyre with fairy tale elements. Totally charming and romantic!" If you feel the same, you should check out the contest, which is aimed straight at giving fans more fun.

Aaaand...  

Not-Love:

Remember my Hard Truths blog entry about that upcoming novel about a female P.I. which mentioned she ALWAYS successfully exposed ALL the disability claimants as fraudsters? Well, last night I was reading another recent novel by a totally different author (also one I've loved for years), also about a female P.I...and midway through the novel, in a casual paragraph of background detail about the heroine's job, it was mentioned that those disability cases are always the easiest to close, because "Invariably" the claimants will all end up posting on Facebook about how great their health is and bragging about how they plan to spend their ill-gotten money...

...Gaaaaah. I can't believe this is becoming a meme, but it really seems to be - whenever (good! respected! nice people, even!) authors want to throw in some background detail about what female P.I.'s do in their dayjob, this is becoming the detail du jour to toss in for a note of "realism".

Too many good authors are falling into this trap, and it really needs to stop.

I didn't put the book down, this time, because that detail wasn't tossed in until midway through the book, when I was already hooked on the plot and characters. But it made me wince and grit my teeth, and took away a lot of the pleasure I'd been feeling as I read. And I really don't want to come across that note again when I'm reading to relax and escape on a bad ME/CFS day. Please.

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This might not sound all that radical to people who aren't toddler-parents, but for me? It was HUGE. I felt massive guilt as I sat on the bus without MrD. I felt really strange walking around town without him. I NEVER go out without him nowadays unless Patrick and I are on a rare and wonderful date. Since we only have childcare in the mornings, and not every day of the week, I use that time as my work time, always. But I realized this weekend that I was desperately in need of some non-work time out, what Julia Cameron would call an Artist's Date. And oh, did it feel good to take it.

The bus was lively and crowded with local retirees on their way to town, and every single one of them knew exactly who I was, even though we'd never spoken before, because they'd seen me and Patrick out with Maya and MrD. Almost all of them asked about MrD and Maya, too. Sometimes I forget what a vibrant community I live in, beyond my immediate social circle. It was a really fun bus trip, even though I didn't have a bus-loving toddler on the seat beside me. And in town, I wandered slowly through shops, soaked in the different colors and textures of the clothes and actually took the time to browse slowly through the books at Waterstones, before I finally settled into a table at my favorite café to read and people-watch.

I didn't do any writing. I didn't do any "work". But by the end of my two hours in town, I felt approximately 10,000 times more creative - and more open to creativity - than I had in weeks.

I'll definitely do it again sometime. What about you guys?

Do you regularly take time out on your own for solo adventures? If you do, where do you go? And if you don't, what do you do to recharge your creativity?

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I try not to talk much about members of my family who don't have internet presences, because it isn't fair to them. But today, for Mother's Day, I just wanted to publicly say:

I am so grateful to have had a mother who modeled achievement to me, and who told me that if I worked hard enough, I could achieve almost anything, too. I am so grateful to have a mom who read me to me for millions of hours before I was able to read to myself, and who always shared my love for Jane Austen and fancy fountain pens. I am so grateful to have a mom who told me that looks don't matter compared to what lies underneath, a mother who never once expressed any concern about my weight or appearance unless she had a genuine reason to worry that I might be getting sick. (The only time I can ever remember any critical commentary was when I'd lost a ton of weight, and she was worried about my well-being...which I actually really appreciate.) I am so grateful to have a mother who told me over and over again as I was growing up that I was smart and beautiful and lovable, even when I didn't believe any of those things about myself.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I really, really appreciate you.

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I don't even happen to like the style of art that's used (not that it's bad; it's just not to my taste), but oh, I was compelled by the story...partly, maybe, because it freakily echoes one of the dreams I've had over and over again in the last several years. In that dream (which has recurred so often since I moved to the UK), I'm looking through an amazing library that holds all the books that I loved when I was younger but haven't been able to get hold of again as an adult in a different country. (Yes, I am a book-geek even in my dreams.)

Oh, and also, my first memory, as a child (probably about 2 or 3 years old), is of running with my mom to get to the bookmobile in time to get new books for the week. So, y'know. There was definitely some serendipity for me, as a reader.

It's a dark book - a very dark book, by the end. But I would definitely recommend it, especially to adults and older teens.

Sadly, I just couldn't justify spending £17 yesterday to buy myself a copy. I really, really wished that I could. But of course the fact that I couldn't is kind of symbolic of the story - the beautiful book that haunts you but can't come home with you... ;)

What about you guys? What have you read and loved recently?

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And I just found out that I have something else to look forward to: my UK publisher, Templar Books, is paying to send me to an author event on the 23rd of June, run by the Reading Agency and held at the Free Word Centre in London! It'll be an evening event, so they're even putting me up in a hotel. I am filled with excitement, because: London! I love London! The big city, glamor, and a night of uninterrupted sleep! - and I am also full of dread...because it will be my very first night spent away from MrD since he was born.

Obviously, this day had to come. But as much as I used to yearn, back in the days when he was a baby waking up every few hours of the night, for the ability to run away to a hotel for just one night of good sleep - well, now that it's actually coming up as a reality...let's just say that kids aren't the only ones who can suffer separation anxiety.

Eep. Thank goodness it'll be many years before I have to send him off to university! ;) And thank goodness I have a very, very understanding and supportive husband, too, since the 23rd will actually be my and Patrick's 10th anniversary of coupledom. Oops.

I predict that part of my time in London will be spent shopping for some very nice souvenirs to bring home!

What about you guys? Do you have any trips coming up? Or, if you're a parent: do you have any advice on dealing with that first-time separation anxiety?

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Then I got a package in the mail last week...and it was a signed Amanda Quick novel, along with a whole heap of Quick swag! It was so cool, so much fun, and so thoughtful and generous of Kat to do it for me. (She's a great writer, too! Go check out her books, if you like smart, fun urban fantasy novels for adults!)

And ohhh, I absolutely treasure that signed copy! I read the novel with huge pleasure, but also with a feeling of real wonder - Oh, wow. *Amanda Quick* signed this. For *me*! And it was a funny realization to think, at the same time: y'know, I've just been signing MY book for other people. But that's me, that's just normal. That's not special, not like this.

It's a funny thing, being an author, because it doesn't stop you from being a reader, too, and being a total fan-girl for lots of other authors. On the one hand, I have a whole circle of friends who are authors, and I'm able to adore their work without going tongue-tied in their presence. On the other hand, when an author I don't know, an author whose work has really touched or moved or comforted me, comes into view, I get so petrified with amazement and awe that I start stammering and my brain turns to mush.

You'd think I would know better, right? Because they're just people, ordinary people, just like me. But somehow, they're not...not always, anyway. At least not until I get to know them a little bit, and the awe-factor dies down to something reasonable. (Poor Delia Sherman had to deal with a LOT of stammering from me when we first met!)

And as I was carefully shelving my signed copy, with the kind of breathless care you'd normally give a fragile china vase, I realized: that, right there, is my personal career fantasy. Good reviews, yes, are wonderful; great sales are what every author in the world yearns for; but better than anything else would be to have someone love your books that much for the sheer comfort and escape they give.

That's my personal fantasy, anyway. What about you guys? What are your perfect, ideal, pie-in-the-sky fantasies, whether attainable or not?

Or: who are your favorite comfort-read authors?

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So, I just finished Chapter Four of my Pine Magic WIP, I'm feeling celebratory, aaaaaand, since it's now less than 3 months till A Tangle of Magicks comes out in the UK...

...well, I thought I'd give you guys a sneak peek!

Warning: there ARE spoilers in the opening of A Tangle of Magicks, which is why I haven't posted the first chapter on my website...but for anyone who has read Book 1 (either as Kat, Incorrigible or as A Most Improper Magick), I hope you'll enjoy the quick taster of Book 2 (in its British edition) - and the first official introduction to Kat's brother Charles!

PS: I'm sorry to post something that's only accessible to people who've already read the first book! Right now I'm really trying to figure out how to balance the two different publishing schedules, and it's a tough question. But I promise that the next time I post a video reading, it'll be a non-spoilery reading from the first book, so anyone can watch it!

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Thursday night I spent the evening googling directions from the Cardiff train station to the Apple store, all set for my trip on Friday. Then Friday morning I woke to a text from MrD's childminder letting us know she had stomach flu, so...no Cardiff. I'm hoping to make it there sometime next week. Instead, MrD's having a five-day weekend (what with the continuing spring break and many Bank Holidays this month), and I haven't gotten much else done (apart from one really lovely surprise writing session yesterday afternoon, courtesy of a relative).

I think every parent has been in this kind of situation at some point. You have all these ideas for things you want to do, all this creativity bursting to be let out...but there's this adorable, bright-eyed child tugging at your hand, needing your full attention and focus. So everything else has to be shifted to one side for a while.

On the upside, I've discovered a really wonderful new-to-me author, Julia Green. I'd read good reviews of her books on a few different British book blogs in the last year, but the subjects never appealed to me, for embarrassingly wimpy reasons. When I'm tired, or when I'm stressed, the last thing I want to do is read a book about really dark or serious subjects, like grief. I read to escape, to have fun, and if I'm lucky, to laugh.

And yet...well, here's another lovely moment to make me appreciate having a Kindle. I was surfing through the free books available for Kindle yesterday, and I spotted Julia Green's Breathing Underwater on sale for only £1.14. Well. I downloaded the sample chapters, just in case (because, really, £1.14...)...and ohhhh. I fell in love. It didn't matter that I was tired, it didn't matter that it's a novel about a girl learning to deal with the loss of her brother, a subject that normally would not make me lunge to buy a book. It was beautiful, and I absolutely needed to read more. So I bought it, for £1.14, I've just finished reading it, and now I'm going to buy her latest book, which is not £1.14 but will definitely be worth the normal, higher price!

In different ways, Julia Green's writing reminded me of both Jo Knowles and Margaret Mahy. It was a lovely, magical combination.

What about you guys? Have you read any books lately that surprised you?

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In other news...well, two news-worthy things happened after I wrote that post on Tuesday, but do you want the good news or the bad news first?

The good news: I did my first in-person newspaper interview, and I think it went really well! It was fun for me, anyway. We met in my favorite café (so that I wouldn't have to try to get the house clean first!), and since the reporter turned out to be another woman of about my age, with quite a few interests in common, the whole experience ended up just feeling like a lovely excuse to hang out and chat about life. She was actually the first local writer I've met since moving here, so really, the only downside was that I wanted to talk less about myself and ask her more questions. We've agreed to meet up for coffee again sometime outside of work, though, so that we can do some proper socializing and she can do more of the talking! ;)

And then the bad news...well. After I got home, I segued straight into looking after MrD (which was fun! that is not the bad news part of this story), then reheated dinner...so by the time dinner ended, I was CRASHED. I staggered upstairs, grabbed the laptop that was on my part of the bed to move it, accidentally closed my fingers around the part that includes the touchpad...and grabbed it, apparently, with too much force. Who knew I had secret Hulk powers? There was a nasty little *crunch* sound, and a series of hairline cracks spread all across the touchpad.

Waaahhhh. So...in another good news/bad news situation, I'm heading to Cardiff tomorrow to get it fixed and pray it doesn't cost too much to do it. The bad news part is obvious (especially to our wincing bank balance, not to mention my energy reserves, which are faltering a bit); the good news...well, is it wrong of me to be a tiny bit excited about getting to go out to Cardiff? I love Cardiff!

I'm really hoping I can get a lot of writing done on the train, at least (albeit in a notebook rather than the laptop). Yesterday I finished the third chapter of my pine magic WIP, and I'm having so much fun with it.

How about you guys? How are your weeks going? And do you have any good news/bad news scenarios right now?

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I don't want to talk about that part of my life here, because it sucks, genuinely, and it's not what I want to focus on. I am not my disability. But the problem with not talking about it is that there are other people talking about it all the time. Right now benefits programs are being slashed and burned in the UK, with no major protests against it. And everyone knows the biggest reason not to talk about having a disability: shame. Who wants to identify as one of those people, who are probably all cheats anyway? Because we all know "most" people on benefits are cheats. "Most" people who claim not to be able to work are just lazy.

And that social message gets hammered in all the time, in so many ways. Most of the time, I wince but ignore it. Sometimes it hits me like a personal slap in the face. That's what happened recently.

There's an author whose work I've always loved (and I'm not going to name him/her in this story because I'm not slamming them, personally - they're just repeating what's done all over society, all the time). I've been really excited in anticipation of their new book. They posted a snippet of it recently. The heroine is working for a detective agency...exposing benefits cheats, people who claim to have a disability just so they can laze around enjoying the money from their companies. She's always successful in exposing them. Always. And this is the point: in every case, she exposes their fraud, because it's always fraud.

I actually felt as if I'd been punched when I read that snippet, from one of my favorite authors. It literally felt like a physical blow. It was so bad - the instinctive shame I felt, reading that, knowing that that was what they thought of people like me - was so intense, I actually had to go emotionally numb. And the first response of shame is always: quick, cover up! Don't let other people know! So I even left a nice comment saying how great the snippet was, how I couldn't wait to read the rest of the book.

Guess what? It was a good snippet, in that it was well-written and fast-paced. But I felt like throwing up afterward, especially after the hypocrisy of my own approving comment, which felt like punching myself again. There's been time for the numbness and shame to wear off, revealing the truth: I will never buy or read that book. And I've just lost a favorite author.

But at the same time, I have a hard time blaming them, personally, because they're just thoughtlessly repeating a social message that we get ALL THE TIME, whether it's in the posters hung around the UK in public places saying "Benefits cheats, WE'RE WATCHING YOU!" or in the careless references to those cheats in all sorts of mysteries and dramas as being the NORM, the only reason we tend to see in books and movies for people to ever go on benefits.

The problem is, that's not the truth. It isn't the truth for me. It isn't for any of the other people I know who've had a disability forced on them by sheer bad luck, then had to try to live with it in a society that minimizes and doubts any "excuse" not to go out and Get A Job. Statistically, the overwhelming majority of people who go on disability benefit are NOT cheaters...but when those are the only people we ever hear about in a larger cultural level, it's no wonder people start to assume that they must be the majority in real life, too.

So here's my personal truth: I had a dayjob that I liked, that challenged me in all the right ways, when I got CFS. Of course I dreamed about being a fulltime fiction writer, but I felt great about the fact that I was earning a good living doing what I was good at while at the same time writing 1,000 words a day on my lunch breaks. And that's what I would still be doing if I hadn't mysteriously gotten sick.

I kept expecting a diagnosis, any day now, that would end up with me getting medicine and being cured. I never got that diagnosis, and I got more and more desperate and scared as the months went on with me continually unable to go back to work, and my employers getting more and more openly angry and suspicious that I was just making it all up.

Was this fun for me? Was I enjoying the chance to laze around enjoying my sick pay? Are you insane???

Finally the diagnosis came: guess what? There is no medicine for CFS. No cure. Just: live with it, live with the fact you can't get a day job ever again unless you have a miraculous remission.

I haven't had one. I had to quit my job (about a week before they were set to fire me for being sick too long). From now on for the rest of my life, unless a cure for CFS is invented, no matter how scared we might ever get about money (because although I was very lucky with my book advances, that was three years ago, and fiction writing is not a reliable, steady source of income), I cannot go out and get a dayjob outside the house, despite all my qualifications and abilities. I can't even take any work-from-home jobs that would require more than a few hours of work a day, because CFS affects mental energy, too.

Trust me, I do not feel happy about being helpless. NO ONE feels happy about losing their independence. If I ever get disability benefit (which is, by the way, incredibly difficult to get, even for people who are really badly disabled), it'll be much less than minimum wage. I would never in a million years choose this.

And the statistical truth is that the overwhelming majority of people who get disability benefit do it because they need it, not because they're trying to get away with something.

So it would be nice if we got to see that side of the story, too, every now and then.

ETA a month later: Guess what? I was just reading and enjoying another recent novel about a female private investigator which included a paragraph of casual background about other types of cases she's handled. It said that disability claims are easy to investigate because "invariably" the claimant will have posted about their great health on facebook and bragged about how they'll spend their ill-gotten money.

This is a trap way too many authors are falling into, and it's exactly why it's so important to talk about this stuff in public.

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And now...well, all I'm going to say is that bi-cultural kids are VERY lucky when it comes to holidays. ;)

I was lucky, too, this year - so lucky that I've had to hide my own chocolate from myself! Champagne truffles served in a dark chocolate platter...mmm. I am at the very same time both totally ashamed of how many I've scarfed today and totally tempted to go find the rest NOW! So far I'm managing to resist, though. So far.

And although I'm now living in Wales instead of Michigan, some things apparently never change. I just saw a whole bunch of photos from my childhood, which I hadn't seen in years...and one of them was listed as "Steph's first castle":

I guess I must have been about 4 in this photo? Apparently this was Casa Loma in Toronto, described on its website as "Canada's Foremost Castle"! Honestly, I hadn't even remembered that this castle existed, I was so young when I visited...but clearly it made an impression, since I've been castle-obsessed ever since - and part of what made me fall in love with Wales was the huge density of castles! A Warning Story to any parents who take their impressionable children to castles while young... ;)

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it, happy Sunday to anyone who's not lost in a haze of chocolate overdose - but if you do celebrate Easter, how does your family do it? Do you hunt whole Easter baskets, like I did, or do you search for eggs or chocolates around the house or the garden, or just pass a chocolate egg across the breakfast table? I love the variety of ways different people celebrate it, even within the same country - it's such a flexible holiday!

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1. Anyone who downloaded an American Kindle version of Kat in the first week it was out might have noticed that it had the wrong title page - it still said "A Most Improper Magick" instead of "Kat, Incorrigible". Oops. Simon & Schuster has now gotten that fixed, and you can re-download the book to get the updated version. I'm so sorry for the hassle! (I assume that the same is probably true with the Nook versions, but do let me know if you have any difficulties, and I'll pass on the info to S&S.)

2. Simon & Schuster has made it possible to browse inside Kat, Incorrigible and read the first 50+ pages online! Browse the book here.

3. For anyone who wants the Kat "Magick" book necklace, Emily Mah is selling them now in her etsy store. (She's also offering an expanded packge where you buy the necklace along with a signed UK paperback copy of A Most Improper Magick.)

Second, two links I love:

1. Alison Goodman's blog entry about talisman books. Which are your personal talisman books? I'd say some of mine are Pride and Prejudice, Georgette Heyer's The Talisman Ring (appropriately enough!), Joan Bauer's Squashed and Virginia Euwer Wolff's The Mozart Season. And if I had to narrow it down even more, I'd choose Pride and Prejudice and The Mozart Season - I can't even count how many times I've read either of those books.

2. Marjorie Liu's blog entry Extreme Possibilities. Actually, I've just been loving Marjorie Liu's blog in general lately - there have been SO many entries there that have made me think in really rich ways. But "Extreme Possibilities" was one of my favorite recent entries, along with Invest Your Love.

And finally, a vlog!

This morning I found myself unusually well dressed, with my hair brushed AND (most shocking of all) lipstick on, since a newspaper photographer was coming by our house. (Usually, at that time of the morning, since I've spent the morning writing on the couch, I'm still wearing my pyjamas and my hair is sticking out wildly around my face. Make-up? That's not even remotely plausible.) So, I thought I might as well take advantage of this rare and wondrous set of circumstances, and do a vlog!

Unfortunately, I felt toooootally unsure of what I could actually talk about that would be interesting...so I just read a bit of Kat. Since people can read the first 50 or so pages online, I picked an excerpt from later in the book (the beginning of Chapter 9). Would it have been humanly possible for me to read any more quickly than this? I doubt it! But MrD got home just after I finished it, so there was no time for a second take, and I figured I might as well go ahead and post this. Next time, I swear I will read/talk more slowly!

Do you guys have any requests? What would you be interested in seeing me talk about or read on a vlog?

And: what about those talisman books? :)

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In the UK, the title will be A Tangle of Magicks, the book is releasing on August 1st, 2011, Anne-Yvonne Gilbert is the cover artist, and the front cover is:

Here's the full wraparound jacket:

In the US, the title will be Renegade Magic, the book will release on April 5th, 2012, Annette Marnat, is the cover artist, and the front cover is:

And here's the full wraparound cover:

(For those of you who've wondered whether Charles will have more of a role in the second book...this cover may give you a small hint! ;) )

You can also see the larger version of that wraparound cover on Flickr.

I feel so, so lucky in my covers! And I'm fascinated by the fact that both covers take the same scene in my novel as a starting point, and end up in such different places.

What do you guys think?

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I'm also 1,000 words into my promised Kat short story (the one that was won in an auction for Japan), and oh, it is so much fun to be writing in Kat's voice again.

"You know it's self-indulgent," Patrick told me as we talked about it this morning.

"What do you mean?" I tried to look outraged as I asked it, but I probably just looked guilty. "I promised to write it. I offered it in an auction. I have to--"

"Come on," he said. "We both know you would happily just sit and write Kat stories FOREVER, without any contracts or promises at all."

Well, yeah. Honestly, I would. Of course I am NOT doing that, because I am Grown-Up and Sensible, but...I would so totally do that, if only I could come up with a good enough rationalization for it! And I am really enjoying having the excuse to do it right now.

I've promised to send it to the auction winner and let it be all hers for a full month after it's finished, but sometime this summer, I'll post it on my website. It takes place between Kat 1 and Kat 2, and...yeah. I'm so happy to be writing it!

I also got two anthologies in the mail that both include stories of mine: Bewere the Night, edited by Kathy Sedia, and The Sixty, an art book with art by British SF artist Andy Bigwood.

Bewere the Night is a collection of shapeshifter stories that sits in the adult SF/F sectino of the bookstore, and it includes stories by a whole bunch of fabulous American-based writers like Holly Black, Elizabeth Hand, Cherie Priest, and Genevieve Valentine. (I LOVED Genevieve's story, the first one I read in the anthology!) It also includes a reprint of my story "Blue Joe", the one I wrote in memory of my Croatian-American grandpa Emil Bauman, Sr., and his Youngstown family band. It means a lot to me to see it in that company.

The Sixty is a British collection, and one of the most fun anthologies that's ever commissioned a story from me. It's an art book for sixty pieces of Andy's science fiction art, but he asked about 40 UK-based authors, including Liz Williams, Chaz Brenchley, and, well, me, to each choose at least one of his paintings and write a flash-fiction story based on it. The piece I chose is called "Iota Draconis", and I had so much fun writing a science-fantasy story based on it.

It's amazing how much better all of life becomes when the writing is going well! Funny how that works...

How about you guys? How are your weeks going?

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When I was twelve years old, in 1989, I was shy and geeky, with big glasses and a vocabulary that other kids made fun of, for being too much "like a dictionary". I hid behind my long hair and bangs. I agonized whenever I got less than an "A", and my friends and I competed for the highest grades. You might think I would be a teacher's ideal student...

...but there was one thing that got me into trouble all the time...

You can read the full entry here...and if any thoughts strike you as you read, PLEASE do leave a comment at the bottom of the entry! I'm feeling a little vulnerable ever since posting it...which seems odd, when I'm talking about the me of twenty-two years ago, but I guess some insecurities never go away!

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I found Franny Billingsley's The Folk Keeper on a shelf in my local Borders, back in Leeds, almost ten years ago. It was just a small, slim paperback with a quiet cover that somehow managed to catch my eye. I picked it up, opened it to the beginning...and was totally enthralled. I read half of it sitting right there on the floor in Borders, then bought it and took it home even though we were so broke at the time, I wasn't supposed to be buying any books at ALL. Patrick read it right after me, and loved it too. Then I re-read it again.

It wasn't just a great book. It was a book that blew my mind. It was historical fantasy, so obviously, yes, I was the ideal target audience, but more than that - it was rich and strange and lovely and so utterly different from anything I'd read before. I raced to the internet to find out when her next book was coming out...and came up with nothing.

And nothing. And nothing. For years! It was so long that I gave up and stopped looking or even wondering. I thought of it as a perfect book with no follow-up, kind of like To Kill a Mockingbird.

Then Chime came out, to amazing reviews. Luisa sent me my own copy. The opening is AMAZING - the voice is so strong and insistent, from the very first lines:

"I've confessed to everything, and I'd like to be hanged. Now, if you please."

I read those first two lines...and then I slammed the book shut and I hid from it for two days! I was actually too excited to read any further yet. I knew once I really, properly started reading, I was going to sink right into the book and not come out again.

This afternoon I was sitting on a bench in town, waiting for Patrick to come in the car and pick me up. I reached into my shoulder bag...and I found Chime. Nervously, I picked it up. I opened it...

...And I sank inside.

Guess what? I'm partway through and it's blowing my mind all over again, just like The Folk-Keeper did all those years ago. I am in awe of Franny Billingsley. And I love, love, love this boook.

What have you guys read and loved recently?

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Forget-Her-Nots is a contemporary fantasy with its magic built around the traditional language of flowers. It got a glowing review from Publisher's Weekly, and Amy's public presentations on the language of flowers - and her demonstrations of how to make symbolic bouquets - were recently written up in Shelf Awareness.

She's stopping here as part of her flower tour. Thanks, Amy!

Say It with Flowers

By Amy Brecount White

My title is taken from a floral industry advertisement, but those execs probably have little idea how old the roots of the language of flowers truly are. We’ve been using blooms to express our deepest emotions and most profound stories as far back as the Ancient Greeks.

If you look up the meaning for an iris or a narcissus in a language of flowers dictionary, you can see the direct connection to Greek mythology. Iris was the goddess of the rainbow and messages, so an iris means to send a message in the language. Narcissus was the beautiful youth who looked into a still pool of water and fell in love with his own reflection. After he pined away, a beautiful flower sprang up from his grave, but you wouldn’t want anyone to give you one of those. A narcissus means you’re egotistical or narcissistic. (Just call it a daffodil – narcissus is simply the botanical name for a daffodil -- and your message will mean “regard” instead.)

Human beings have always found flowers to be enchanting and magical. We believe there must be some reason for their beauty and delicacy beyond the basic botanical need to propagate the species. That’s why the language of flowers was created: because we couldn’t believe that all that loveliness -- those luscious fragrances and smooth, silky petals – was created only to attract insects. There simply must be a deeper meaning for flowers!

In my novel, Forget-Her-Nots, the main character Laurel, discovers that when she gives someone a flower or herb whatever it means in the language of flowers comes true. For example, if she gave you rosemary, you would remember something. If she gave you basil, you would feel hatred swell within you. (Don’t worry; sweet basil is for good wishes.) And if she gave you purple lilac, you would feel the first emotions of love toward the next person you saw. Sounds like Midsummer Night’s Dream, doesn’t it?

I truly believe that all of us can have such flower magic in our lives. I’ve traveled around the U.S. visiting schools, bookstores, flower shows, and garden groups to show people how to incorporate the language of flowers into their lives by making and giving tussie-mussies, or symbolic bouquets. It’s great fun and quite simple. And it is absolutely magic to make someone’s face light up with a unique and meaningful flowers and herbs! The herbs make the scent amazing, too.

Here are a few of my favorite flowers to incorporate into tussie mussies. Just remember to include a card which “translates” the language so that your meaning isn’t misconstrued. (You would hate for someone to think you’d give her regular basil when you meant sweet.)

Rosemary to remember: I will always remember you. / I wish you memorable experiences!

Daisy: Let’s share simple pleasures./ You are one of life’s simple pleasures.

Fern: I find you fascinating! / Let’s share some fascinating times.

Pansy: My thoughts are with you. / I can’t stop thinking about you.

Orchid: You are the belle of every ball. / Let’s fill our lives with passion!

Red tulip: I declare my love for you.

White tulip: Please forgive me.

Parsley: Share the feast of life with me.

A red & white rose together: Let’s always be united.

Lily of the valley: May your happiness return.

The last meaning comes from the War of the Roses. Isn’t that cool?

You can find lots of other floral inspirations on my website, and have fun saying it with flowers!!

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• Jeweler Emily Mah is giving away another beautiful Kat necklace AND a signed (by me) paperback copy of A Most Improper Magick (aka, Kat, Incorrigible on her facebook page. All you have to do is comment, letting her know what you'd do with magical powers! The giveaway is open until midnight on Monday, April 18th.
• Mindy Klasky hosted me on her blog as part of her "Inside Track" blog series. You can win a signed hardcover of Kat, Incorrigible just by commenting on her entry.
• I was interviewed by a bunch of thoughtful, smart high school students on the YA Love blog.

And in the non-me, me, me! group of links...

• Terri Windling wrote a beautiful blog entry about making art during a long or chronic illness, Reaching for the Light, which absolutely took my breath away, I loved and identified with it so much.
• I love, love, love npr.org's "First Listen" feature, which lets you listen to new albums in full, for free. This week I've been listening over and over again to Alison Krauss and Union Station's new album, Paper Airplane, which is so beautiful. I will definitely be getting a copy to keep forever.

And this video of a cat and dolphin playing together (which I found via Jo Knowles) is just unbelievably adorable. MrD and I both love it!

What about you guys? What are the open tabs on your browsers - or the online links you've been loving this week?

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Better yet, Patrick's on the Best Short Fiction longlist too, for his short story "Camelot", and there are lots of other author friends on the longlists too, like Aliette de Bodard (for her novel Servant of the Underworld), Chaz Brenchley/Daniel Fox (for his novel Jade Man's Skin), and Beth Bernobich (for her novel Passion Play).

All in all, it was a great excuse to eat a slice of leftover chocolate cake shamelessly early in the day. (Love having birthdays in the extended family - especially when they send leftover cake home with us!) :)

But now it's time to start writing for the day (er, as soon as I finish this blog entry, that is). And I realized something important yesterday, in the wake of my second-ever bout of Publication Day Craziness. There are writers who call themselves Serious Artists, very unselfconsciously, and it's fabulous for them that they can identify that way. For me, it has completely the wrong effect - it feels paralyzing, making everything in me scream "This has to be Serious Important Art! What is this muck you're trying to pass off?" every time I come up with an idea. I can't call myself a Serious Artist because it makes my creativity freeze up like an intimidated hedgehog, all prickles and no vulnerable softness left exposed to judgment.

But it's way too easy to go too far in the opposite direction - to tell myself that now that I'm a Professional Writer, I ought to be a Real Professional and not need all that arty extra stuff for inspiration. Um...no. When I try to toss out the mulling-over time I need for inspiration, or the fun little extras that make the writing feel like play (and therefore do-able and fun and joyful, exactly what my creativity needs), the creativity goes on strike and dries up.

So it's a fine balance. Yes, this is a job, and - I hope - a lifelong career. (Well, I know I'll be writing all my life. But I hope to be paid for it all my life, which is different.) BUT. It's also an art, as much as I get nervous thinking of it that way. And even as a card-carrying professional, I can't ignore that or I'll lose what got me here in the first place.

Which is, I suppose, all a long preamble to the fact that I finally gave in and ordered myself a brand-new, beautiful Moleskine notebook for my two WIPs. (I can't believe I'm working on two WIPs right now, jointly! This is SO not me! But I'm loving them both too much to abandon either one yet.) I also ordered a bottle of fountain pen ink so I can use my favorite fountain pen for sketching out ideas and doing the flowing first-draft writing. It's covered with stars, it feels SO comfortable in my hand, and I used it to write a huge amount of Kat 2 and Kat 3, so it feels a little like a good-luck charm.

It seems so Unprofessional to need that kind of thing. Oh well.

I'm happy to be unprofessional and productive...and eat cake. :)

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Even though I've actually been buried in copyedits lately, the beauty of the internet is that I still managed to get around a lot of places in the last few days! I was interviewed about writing and more by the lovely Amy Brecount White on her blog, and interviewed about my fictional crushes (and which movie actress I'd want to play me! oh, the fantasy! CLEARLY not someone who has toddler cornflakes stuck on her own sweaters, unlike me) by Tina at Fantastic Book Review (who's also giving away a hardcover of Kat on her blog).

I also did a guest blog entry at YA Bliss, posting about one of my favorite MG novels that came out this spring, Angie Frazier's The Midnight Tunnel, the first in her Suzanna Snow mystery series. I really, really love Angie's writing! Check out my review, and if the novel sounds good to you, too, just come back here and comment saying that you'd like to win my ARC of The Midnight Tunnel. I'll pick a winner in one week.

And! Drumroll: random.org picked a winner in the great Kat necklace giveaway: Becky B.! Becky, just email me with your mailing address, and your necklace will be on the way within the week. :)

For everyone who didn't win, keep an eye on jeweler Emily Mah's facebook page and etsy shop - she'll begiving away another copy on facebook next week, and then afterward she'll start selling the necklaces in her etsy shop. (I don't get a penny when the necklaces are sold, btw - my payment is in kind, with yummy free necklaces of my own! - so I'm not promoting these necklaces in hopes of gaining filthy lucre. I just think they're gorgeous, and I love that they exist!)

Whew. Now back to MrD, and the potatoes waiting to be cooked. :) How are your weeks going?

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On March 24, 2007, I went back to that novel, which had been waiting in my notebook, whispering to me all through the last 11 months, even though I'd been sensible and given it up only 2 chapters in, just knowing that it was a crazy idea, too quirky and uncommercial and fun and not a practical career option at all.

On May 24, 2008, I signed with my fabulous agent, Barry Goldblatt, and on July 22, 2008, my wonderful US editor, Namrata Tripathi, made an offer for the whole trilogy.

Today it's April 5, 2011, almost exactly five years from when Kat first arrived in my life, and Kat, Incorrigible is now officially published in the United States and Canada. Family and friends have been sending me photos of Kat in the wild, and every new photo feels astonishing and amazing all over again. (I want more! More! Send me more pictures!)

I am so happy I didn't brush Kat's voice aside when she whispered in my ears all those years ago, even though I was in the middle of cooking AND in the middle of a dark adult novel that I thought was so much more sensible and commercial as a project.

And I am so, so grateful to everyone who cheered me on on this blog back when I was first writing the book, with no prospects of publication, as well as everyone who's joined in since then, throughout all my ups and downs. Thank you guys so, so much.

As a very, very small token of my appreciation, I'm holding a giveaway here, today, open to everyone, no matter where in the world you live. Emily Mah has finished the lovely Kat pendant, in brass, with a silver chain (not pictured):

It's one of Mama's spell books, and I love it. Part of my agreement with Emily is that I get two free copies of any Kat-related piece of jewelry she makes, and I can't wait to wear my own pendant...but I want to give the other one away here.

If you want to enter, just leave a comment on this entry saying that you want to enter to win the pendant. I'd be really grateful if you could also mention something about Kat's publication somewhere else around the internet, whether on your own blog, twitter, facebook...anything that works for you. You could link to my lovely new book trailer or to my lovely older book trailer, whichever you prefer. Or you could just link to the first three chapters of the novel on my website. Any kind of announcement for Kat's book birthday would be hugely appreciated.

But! Even if you don't want to enter the competition (as I know not everyone who reads this blog wears necklaces!), please still feel free to comment on this entry. I promise not to enter anyone in the drawing unless they have specifically asked for it. ;)

Right now I'm just feeling awfully happy, and I really want to share the love.

ETA: The giveaway is now closed. Many thanks to everyone who entered!

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Hahahaha. Oh, how Fate laughs when parents of toddlers make plans.

After just one week of health, MrD woke up this morning with a feverish cold. Preschool, in other words, didn't happen. And I...well, let's just say that I'm not doing very well at avoiding panic this time 'round, either. Luckily, my UK editor is incredibly understanding and already told me not to worry about getting the CEs done by tomorrow as originally planned...but the schedule isn't that flexible, so they really do have to be done before the end of the week.

So, yeah. The CFS is being a pain at the moment, the copyedits are (cough, cough) Not As Advanced As They Should Be, and I really, really needed something to cheer me up today.

Luckily, my brother Dave came to the rescue! He's made a fun new, second book trailer for Kat, Incorrigible - a birthday present for its US publication. (The first, also-awesome trailer by Dave is here.) It made me really happy to watch it. I hope you guys enjoy it, too!

This afternoon I got to enjoy my fun new trailer, courtesy of Dave, and I also got an incredibly reassuring email from my brother Ben, full of really uplifting feedback on something I'd written and felt nervous about. Have I mentioned lately just how grateful I am for my brothers? :)

What about you guys? What's getting you through your day today?

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But I had the best reward ever for my effort yesterday. I was ten pages from the end of the manuscript when Patrick called down from upstairs:

"Kat's listed as in-stock at Barnes & Noble!"

"What?!"

I dropped the pages. I clicked onto the B&N website, I entered the East Lansing (Michigan) zip code...and there it was, listed in every single store in the area...including the Barnes & Noble in my hometown, the one I've spent literally hundreds of hours inside. My book, on those shelves.

I finished typing up my notes for the last ten pages of the Kat 2 manuscript. My hands were shaking again, but for the best possible reason, this time. I hit "send". I went back to the B&N website, and this time I entered "15217", the zipcode I'd lived in when I was doing my M.A. degree in Pittsburgh. There was Kat in-stock again at all stores, including the Barnes & Noble in Squirrel Hill where I spent so much of my life during those years. I could only just barely imagine it - it felt too cool, too impossibly dream-like.

I tweeted that I desperately wanted to SEE what it looked like on real bookstore shelves...and within an hour, someone had sent me a gorgeous picture of Kat on the shelves of a Barnes & Noble in Massachusetts. My shriek could probably be heard by ALL our neighbors. And every new photo I get makes it feel more real...and more incredible.

Today's been a day for resting, after yesterday's intensity. But this morning I woke up to more photos of Kat in my hometown B&N. I ate a slice of apple strudel and gazed at the pictures, imagining it. Being amazed by it.

Wow, am I lucky. Really, really lucky.

***

And a quick heads-up: do you guys remember how I asked for advice a while back on what to offer up for auction? Well, I took Shveta Thakrar's brilliant advice. For the next three days, you can see my auction item at the Write Hope Auction, raising money for Save the Children's Emergency Relief Fund: an original Kat short story, set in the timeline between Kat Book 1 and Kat Book 2.

This is where all that intense copyediting of Book 2 has come in handy: it made me realize exactly where I could set a story, and how much fun it would be to write. I'll write the short story for the person who wins it, it'll be all theirs for at least a month, and then when I do post it on my website for others to read, I'll include a prominent dedication to the person who won it at auction. Check out the official item here.

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Last night, as our cordless phone rang somewhere on the bed, surrounded by blankets, I climbed around searching for it...and heard a horrible crunching sound under my knee. I looked down and saw it was my Kindle.

Wahhh!

This is not the end of the world - I told myself that several times last night, quite desperately - it is not. My wonderful relatives gave us an iPad last month, as a surprise gift-out-of-the-blue, and I can still read my Kindle books on that. But if they hadn't...wow. Since we can't afford to buy a new Kindle right now, I would have lost every book in my Kindle library just with that one horrible crunch. It really makes me appreciate print books even more...

Meanwhile, my lovely plan to seamlessly coordinate the US first-pass pages/editorial line edits for Kat 2 with the UK copyedits/editorial line edits for it (both country's sets arrived at the same time last week) has fought a losing battle with various family illnesses in the last couple of weeks. I started out thinking I had plenty of writing sessions ahead of me to manage it all on time, and I did...until MrD lost several days of preschool/childcare due to illness, I had a bad CFS crash afterward, and then Patrick had a horrible stomach bug yesterday, so I lost the day's writing session to all the dog-walking/childcare he usually takes care of on Thursdays. Oh, how I hate germs right now.

So...here I am, the day that my US responses are due, and if all I had to type up were my responses to the line-edits, plus my own first-pass-page changes, I would be okay. But unfortunately, every single italic somehow disappeared from the manuscript when it was converted into first-pass pages (which is nobody's fault, just a terrible accident), and now I have to type up a description of exactly where each and every italicization should go in the entire book...

...which is taking a long, long time, to say the least.

So. Patrick gave me firm instructions that I HAD to take a break now, because I was starting to shake with stress as I was typing. (Still only on p156 out of 333 pages. Aaaahhh!) So I am taking a short break. But I had to let out a wail of writerly panic and despair during that break or else I might explode!

(Thank goodness, my UK editor has graciously extended my UK deadline from Tuesday until later next week, due to Extenuating Circumstances. But I can't ask for a US extension, too, or I will NEVER get the British copyedits done.) (AAAHHH!)

Whew. Okay, enough wailing now. Deep breaths. Back to the typing mines...

ETA at 4pm: I just hit "send" on the 17-page, single-spaced document. WOW, am I relieved! And thank you guys soooo much for the sympathy. I am tempted to take down this entry from sheer embarrassment about my whininess, but instead I'm going to leave it up to remind myself of how great my friends are. Thanks, guys!

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This is where 21st-century authors are luckier than 19th-century ones. I bet the 19th-century authors didn't find out until WEEKS after their books became available through online bookshops. ;)

Seriously, though, since I'm stuck over here in the UK while I wait breathlessly for my American release*, this was incredibly exciting. Real copies exist! They're being shipped! It's really getting real! So of course we had to celebrate.

Last night we fed MrD his dinner, then I put him to bed while Patrick went out to pick up some Indian takeaway. I figured we'd eat it on the couch, straight from the takeaway containers. It's been that kind of week.

Then I came downstairs once MrD was asleep...and actually stopped breathing for a moment. The table was spread with the tablecloth we always save for only the most special occasions, a beautifully hand-embroidered cloth that my mom got us from Hungary. A fat white candle was lit. A bouquet of rich, purple tulips stood in a vase nearby. The table was set, and my favorite red wine was ready to be poured.

Patrick said, "You came down too fast! I was going to make it even nicer."

But honestly, that wouldn't have been possible. I was so blown away, so surprised and moved. We had dinner, the two of us on our own for dinner for the first time in a long time, and we clinked glasses to Kat and all those copies shipping across America. We talked and talked, and then we moved over to the couch and re-watched a couple episodes of my favorite-ever sitcom, Black Books.

It was a really great celebration. And I hope that even if she didn't get the satisfaction of watching her numbers go down on Amazon.com, Jane Austen had just as much fun celebrating with her own family, anyway.
__
*NOT that I don't love being in the UK under normal circumstances - I just really, really want to see Kat on the American shelves!

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2. Author Lindsey Leavitt (whose fabulous-looking YA novel Sean Griswold's Head is about a girl who's just found out that her dad has Multiple Sclerosis) is donating $1 to MS Research for every comment left on her blog entry about National Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. Needless to say, I've already left a comment there, and I hope a lot of other people will, too. I have a funny, smart, kind, strong friend who received her own MS diagnosis a few years ago, so this is an issue I care about strongly. I'm looking forward to reading Lindsey's novel when it comes out in the UK this summer (it's already out in America), and I hope that some of you guys will pop over to her blog entry, too.

3. I forgot to mention this last week, but after I finished reading Sheela Chari's Vanished, I wrote a full review of it on Goodreads. The short version? I ADORED it. About five minutes after finishing it, I was already desperate to read more books by Sheela and had tweeted her begging to become a beta reader for whatever she writes next! I am normally friendly to other authors, but not THAT friendly, trust me. ;) I REALLY loved this book, and I think a whole lot of kids and other adults will love it, too. This is one book that is really worth a pre-order.

4. I've joined a brand-new group blog made up of MG authors, Smack Dab in the Middle. I was really pleased when Holly Schindler (who organized it) invited me to join the party, along with lots of other great authors like Jody Feldman, Dia Calhoun, Alan Gratz, Irene Latham, and more. I'll be posting there every 16th of the month from now on.

5. It's seven days until Kat, Incorrigible comes out in the US and Canada. NOT that I'm checking Amazon.com or BN.com every single day to see if it's in stock yet...er...well, not TOO many times a day, really. What is "too many times", anyway? Anyway, I'm desperate enough to start offering bribes.

I know that Kat's already been spotted in a few libraries in the US, so I assume that sometime in the next week or so it'll start filtering into more libraries and bookstores...and since I can't go look myself, will any Americans or Canadians who read this keep a look-out for me? Anyone who lets me know that they've seen the North American edition on a shelf somewhere will get my deepest gratitude, and anyone who actually takes a picture for me will ALSO get (if they want one) a signed bookplate in the mail. I really, really want to see it on shelves! Yes, I really am desperate. ;)

6. But to make up for that, let me share the silly cat video that made MrD laugh and laugh this weekend even when he was feeling most sick - so in other words, it really saved all of us:

Happy Tuesday!

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The podcast was an interview with adult romance writer Anne Stuart by Lani Diane Rich and Alastair Stephens, and it's a raunchy, silly interview filled with explicit sex jokes, jokes about Alastair's Scottish accent, and more. (I was honestly kind of surprised that he didn't lose patience, haul off and punch her before the end of it...) But intermingled with all the silliness, there was a message that I really needed to hear.

One of the things they talked about was how intensely confident Anne Stuart is about her writing skills - the interviewers pointed out how rare that really is, and in fact, as I listened to the podcast, it felt genuinely shocking to hear Stuart talk about her skills, because her attitude is so unheard of among the writers I know. She claims, and really seems, to never, ever doubt what a great writer she is...and she credits part of her amazing productivity - and the daring experiments she's made as a writer over the years - to that effortless well of confidence in her own abilities.

Hearing that made a lightbulb go off inside, as I asked myself: how much more would I accomplish if I didn't give in so often to self-doubt - or if it wasn't such a big force in my writing life to start with? I'm thinking of how I gave up on my current WIP when I first thought of it last year, because I was too scared of it and worried I wasn't good enough to make it work...but at a smaller level, I'm also thinking of my daily writing sessions over the years and all the time I've spent just staring at the screen thinking: But what if I screw this up? or even: I can't do this. Sometimes, during bad times, I've actually wasted half of every writing session blocked up by worry.

I come from a Midwestern culture that frowns on people who brag about their abilities. But I think I've internalized that and carried it too far. Believing in yourself isn't the same as bragging. It isn't...no matter what my subconscious wants to tell me.

So I'm going to try really hard to develop more of an Anne Stuart attitude toward my writing, as terrifying as that feels to me. The books inside me that want to be written deserve it.

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...so in other words, I REALLY needed something to make me laugh today, and thanks to the internet, I found it: this brilliant "Jane Austen Drinking Game" skit:

(As an MG author, I guess I ought to say in warning: yes, this video does contain images of people drinking...but since it's on a theatrical stage, I'm pretty sure it's not really beer in those cans!)

And my one other consolation today is Sheela Chari's Vanished, which I'm reading as an e-galley and absolutely adoring. I probably would have finished it by now except that Netgalley insists I read it using Adobe Digital Editions on my laptop, and ohhh, how I hate reading books that way! Last night I read Vanished for absolutely as long as I could, until my head hurt so much that it forced me to stop. Today I'm reading it in greedy gulps during my time off from childcare.

I'll post a full review when I finish, but for now I can say that at 130 pages in, it's already become one of my very favorite MG novels in a long time. I can't wait to buy a printed copy in August!

What about you guys? Have you found any good videos lately? Or alternately, what have you read and loved recently?

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"Hi, Stephanie," Peter said. "Would you like to come in and do a signing on Saturday, April 9th?"

"Um...okay," I said, blinking a bit, and trying to shift from mom-mode into author-mode. "What time?"

We figured out a time. (11am to 1pm in the Abergavenny Waterstones, in case anyone is local and interested.) It's part of their Local Authors Day. (I'm not sure if this is going on in Waterstones all over the UK that day or just in Abergavenny?) This will be my first real signing - I've had a launch party, and I have signed books, but it's never been official before. Luckily, my UK publisher, Templar, has agreed to send a sign for the table, taking pity on me since I have NO design skills whatsoever. And now all that's actually left is one burning question:

What should I bake?

Because here's something I have learned from going to bookstores as a reader: the writers who offer edible goodies on their table are the ones who actually manage to lure unsuspecting victims - er, readers - close enough to read the titles of their books. And since I have only two specialties I can reliably make - muffins and gingerbread cookies (no other kinds of cookies, alas, have been reliable), those are my two options.

What do you guys think? If you were going to follow your nose to a brightly (and perhaps desperately) smiling author's table, would muffins or gingerbread lure you faster?

(And now, since I am a children's author, I feel uneasily like the witch from Hansel and Gretel...oops.)

In the meantime, over here everything is Kat Book 2 ALL THE TIME, because my US first-pass pages (under the title Renegade Magic) arrived the other day, and my UK copyedits (under the title A Tangle of Magicks) arrived today. They're both due back at the same time, too, which makes for a period of very intense immersion, to say the least. In the long run, I think this is going to be the easiest way to coordinate changes in both editions, but in the meantime...well, it's a good thing I really, really love Kat and this book! (It's making me really miss writing Kat books, actually.)

And it was kind of sobering just HOW MUCH more proofing I managed to accomplish this morning when I went into the café, away from all internet, to do it. Urk. I hadn't realized until then just how distractable I really am...

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This Saturday, I got an amazing package in the mail - a beautiful Glamourkin pendant sent by Stephanie Gunn. Stephanie's an Australian spec-fic writer whose blog I've loved for years, and as we've gone through some very similar life experiences in semi-parallel, we've been able to help each other through them. Getting the pendant felt like a double-gift - I would have loved it anyway because it's beautiful and so exactly my kind of thing, but getting it from a friend as a just-thinking-of-you gift during a difficult time made it really, really special.

I've been wearing it pretty much non-stop since it arrived on Saturday morning, and it makes me feel better every time I look down and see it!

And then this morning I discovered (via Terri Windling's blog) a new-to-me band that I absolutely love. Katzenjammer is an all-girl Norwegian band that mixes up Balkan folk music, klezmer, and punk, and their sound is quirky, fun, and overflowing with crazy energy - energy I seriously need right now! I've been listening to their songs on Myspace all day today, and it's helped my mood so much.

Here's the first song of theirs I heard, because listening to it feels to me like getting an infusion of enthusiasm and positivity:

What about you guys? What's cheered you up lately?

And also (or alternately), can I pick your brains for some advice? I've been asked to take part in another auction for Japan, and I don't want to offer them exactly the same item I offered the last one (a signed Kat, Incorrigible hardcover). What else might be useful or fun to offer instead? I'm drawing a bit of a blank right now...sadly, as much as I'd like to offer another Kat2 ARC, I just can't at this point because I don't have enough of them. But...what else would people genuinely like?

(I promise that making suggestions will NOT in any way commit you to bidding in the auction - I'm just desperate for ideas at this point!)

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This afternoon, though, it finally feels like things are beginning to turn around. MrD is starting to return to his usual, cheerful self. It’s a warm, sunny day. I’m typing this on a lounger set out in our back yard, near the bed of vivid yellow and purple crocuses and tall daffodils. It’s amazing what a difference it makes to lie basking in sunlight and warmth for the first time after months of cold. In fact, the sunshine makes me feel so wild and crazy, I’ve actually rolled my jeans all the way up to my knees and taken off my socks and shoes. Heck, I’ve even unzipped my fleece jacket! (This is Wales in March, after all.)

And I had a fabulous piece of news today: the UK’s Reading Agency has chosen A Most Improper Magick (a.k.a., Kat, Incorrigible) as one of their selections for their 2011 Summer Reading Challenge! It’s the biggest national reading initiative in the UK, run in 95% of the libraries in the country, and I am really, really honored and thrilled that Kat gets to be a part of it.

It’s been a grueling week, physically and emotionally, and it’s been driving me crazy that I haven’t been able to do any of the work - both creative and practical - that desperately needs doing. But this afternoon, as I sit here in the sunshine with the flowers blooming in the garden around me, the nice news about Kat in my inbox, and best of all MrD running around laughing for the first time in days, I am feeling so much better.

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...Well, sometimes the reaction is more complicated...because although you're still thinking I want to read that!, and in fact already planning exactly how you'll afford to buy it and exactly how soon you can get it, you're also thinking: AAAAAGHHH! Why didn't I think of that FIRST???? I want to write those books!

This is the ugly side of writing, the embarrassing part to admit to. But as I was yelling at myself this morning for having had that dumb reaction to a couple of new series lately, it finally occurred to me that there's one way to suck out the venom from that particular snake-bite: by publicly sharing the book announcements that have sounded SO GOOD that they made me burn with jealousy for not thinking of them first! So here they are, the two that have REALLY gotten to me in the last few weeks:

First, from Marie Brennan, whose Onyx Court historical fantasy series for adults I adore, comes the announcement of her new series of high fantasies for adults, A Natural History of Dragons. "They are the memoirs of Isabella Trent, Scirland's foremost lady adventurer and dragon naturalist, and cover her illustrious career traveling the world to study dragons (and getting into large amounts of trouble along the way)." The excerpt that Marie posted on her blog is DELICIOUS. I want to read these books, I want to have written them, and I cannot wait for them to be published!

In a totally different genre (one I don't even write in! yes, writer-brains are weird), there is this announcement of Susie Day's new contemporary MG series, Mermaid Girls, "about 11-year-old Pea and her sisters Clover and Tinkerbell, and none of them have tails. Or fins. And Pea can’t swim. Their mum, however, is a bestselling super-author-type-lady of a series of books called MERMAID GIRLS, so, you know, title."

I'm not sure that that description alone, without context, will convey the sheer appeal of this series, but if you follow the link to Susie Day's website and read more of her totally charming writing, you'll see why I'm so excited about reading this series. (Well, that and I LIVE for reading crazy family stories for the middlegrade audience. I don't know why, it's just a total reading high for me. And I have every expectation that this series, as written by Susie, will be amazing.)

Of course the upside of being a writer is that you're also a reader. Even when I feel the strongest envy, I'm also taking out my debit card in anticipation of hugely enjoying those books myself.

And of course there's also a message in my dumb reactions. I only ever have this kind of weird response to other writers' news when I'm feeling insecure about my own writing and/or career. And for all that fabulous things have been happening for Kat lately, right now I'm working on an all-new, totally on-spec project that really scares me even as it obsesses me. It's eating my brain, I love it, I want desperately for it to work, but I'm terrified that it won't, or that worse yet, I'll think that it works but then I'll show it to other people and they'll laugh pityingly at me and revoke my membership in the Author's Club FOREVER...

...so in other words, it's exactly the moment I feel most tempted to jump ship and head for some other author's stable floating boat which must CLEARLY be going in the right direction, unlike my own crazy attempts...right?

Sigh. My head isn't always a smart place to be, especially on the 3rd day of looking after a sick toddler, and with upcoming Publication Day Crazies already cluttering up the place.

But. If you haven't been too put off by my scary revelations of Author Craziness, do please head over to the Authors for Japan site, which is OPEN NOW! for bidding. You can bid on the signed US hardcover of Kat, Incorrigible here, and bid on the signed UK ARC of Kat Book 2, A Tangle of Magicks, here.

And I can't wait to read Marie's and Susie's new books when they're published. Which books are you guys looking forward to right now?

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Kat reminds me of some of my favorite fantasy heroines when I was younger. Who are some of your favorite fantasy heroines? Who did you draw upon for your inspiration for Kat?

Some of my favorite fantasy heroines when I was Kat's age were Harry from Robin McKinley's THE BLUE SWORD (she gets to sword-fight AND have a sizzling romance!), Beauty from Robin McKinley's BEAUTY (who reads Latin fluently and loves books more than almost anything else), and Tamora Pierce's Alanna (who gets to be a knight). Since I grew up, I've added lots more to the list, including Ysabeau Wilce's Flora from FLORA SEGUNDA and FLORA'S DARE...

Read the full interview - and enter to win a Kat, Incorrigible ARC!

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Well, maybe because my brain is in a state of zombie sludge today. After I'd sent off a freelance query with a glaring typo and posted the wrong info for an auction in my twitter account, I decided that perhaps the better part of valor, today, might be simple surrender. There will be no productivity in this house for at least another 24 hours.

But! Luckily, I know other writers who are far more organized than I am. Keris Stainton (author of Della Says OMG! and Jessie <3 NYC) has set up a really wonderful auction to benefit the British Red Cross's Japan Tsunami Appeal: Authors for Japan. And while my brain may not be up to much during a period of toddler illness, I really, really wanted to be a part of this, so I've donated two items:

...a signed American hardcover of Kat Incorrigible (which won't be published in America until April 5th) and...

...drumroll...

....the very first British ARC of Kat Book 2, A Tangle of Magicks (UK title)! This one will be published in the UK in 2011, and in the US in April, 2012. So the winner will get the ARC either 5 or 13 months early, depending on what country they live in. :)

Bidding opens tomorrow (Tuesday) morning at 8am UK-time. And in the meantime, you can check out the rest of the auction, which includes tons of great items by authors including Cat Clarke, Lucy Coats, Paul Cornell, and many more.

I'm really glad to be a part of this. It means a lot to be able to do something, even if only a very small something, to help.

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At least there has been one distraction - MrD is sick with a stomach bug. So I've had plenty to do to keep me from moping...

OK, no more complaining! On the plus side, there have been lots of great moments in the last few days. Besides all the fun stuff we did with the family, Patrick and I also got the chance to go out on our own Friday afternoon to celebrate the arrival of my Kat copies while MrD played with his relatives. So we drove out to our favorite café, toasted the Kat books (one of which we'd brought with us, of course!) and...yes, we are geeks...spent the rest of the time playing Kakuro on our lovely hand-me-down iPad (a gift from our guests)!

Of course I can't responsibly recommend buying an iPad just for the game applications alone...but as a total fiend for Kakuro who NEVER finds enough Kakuro games in the newspapers, I have to admit that the (free) Kakuro app was the very first one I downloaded, the moment the iPad was passed on to us. ;)

Which other apps would you guys recommend? Right now we've got the Pages app, the Kindle and Nook apps, and the Kakuro app. What are we still missing?

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Check out his announcement here, and the business website here.

I am incredibly pleased and proud of him, and excited to see how this develops.

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"Comeincomeincomein!" I shrieked over the phone. "Hurry!"

And then we had The Great Unboxing. There would have been more photos of me when it was unboxed...except that I started crying and couldn't stop. This is what I've been dreaming about since I was seven years old. And yes, the book has already been published over here in the country where I live, and I feel grateful and amazed by that every single day...but America is the country where I grew up, this is the kind of hardcover I grew up reading and fantasizing about seeing my own name on one day...and wow. Wow, wow, wow. Here it is.

Here's where it begins...

Here's the whole unboxing process:

And here I am holding two of the books, once I'd stopped crying:

It was a really, really wonderful package to get.

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It has been so much fun to play with this, watching the jewelry develop and giving feedback on the designs to make them as faithful to the book as possible. Emily's main Kat-related project is making a silver (or silver-plated) charm bracelet with charms that are all thematic to Kat, Incorrigible (A Most Improper Magick). So, the current plan is that there will be a highwayman-mask charm, both of Kat's mother's magic books, a key (the one Kat uses to unlock her mother's cabinet full of secrets) and possibly her mother's magical mirror, too. There'll also be tags reading: "Everything's better with highwaymen!"

I cannot wait to wear that bracelet...and to give a copy of it away here, too! But in the meantime, Emily's working on a necklace specifically targeted at Kat's US release date. The pendant for the necklace is going to be one of Kat's mother's magic books, and as it's gone through the design process, not only did Emily rely on the descriptions already in the book, but we both ended up looking at a lot of images of real 18th-century "commonplace books" (blank books) for inspiration. The pendant isn't quite finished yet - right now it's still in brass and needs a few more tweaks - but it's pretty close to ready, and I really love it.

Here's the very first wax mold that Emily made for it:

But I didn't think Kat's mom could have afforded a commonplace book that had a lock and key, and neither of those are mentioned in the descriptions in the book. So we looked at lots of 18th-century commonplace books, got rid of the lock, and Emily added some ornamentation that was just right for the period, to come up with this next version of the mold:

...and here's what the most recent version looks like right now:

On the day of Kat's US release, April 5th, I'll be giving away the necklace here on the blog, as part of my online launch party. And oh, I will definitely be wearing it myself, too! (And if anyone wants one and doesn't win it here, more copies will be available to buy from Emily afterward.)

I love that beautiful jewelry is going to exist that's based on my book. And I really love that more people are playing in Kat's world! This has been so much fun.

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Guess what? Kat, Incorrigible is really, really real. I mean, it's printed. It's a real hardcover! Maybe that doesn't boggle your mind the way it does mine...but I'm still reeling with shock and excitement. I sold this book almost 3 years ago, remember. I knew that it would be published in America one day, but that knowledge had a slightly dreamy, fantasy feel, to me. But now my editor and her assistant have both held the actual, printed book in their hands! They say it's beautiful! And my copies are on their way!

I may not leave my post by the mailbox for the next week, or however long international mail takes this time 'round. I am very, very, almost unbearably excited. I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else...

...but luckily, I'd already written one guest blog entry before I got the news. Today, you can find my more articulate and less excitable self at Erin Blakemore's Heroine's Bookshelf. Erin asked me to write about how I created Kat, which led to me thinking about all the strong-minded, active heroines I loved when I was growing up.

I'm also giving away an ARC of Kat, Incorrigible to one commenter there - so if you're interested in winning that giveaway (which is open internationally), go check out the blog entry!

Here's a snippet:

When I think of the books I adored growing up, what I think of is a succession of heroines. Elizabeth Bennet, sparkling and smart and full of confidence, refusing to marry - or even respect - any man who doesn’t realize her true value. Jane Eyre, making the right choice for her own conscience even when it means losing the man she loves. Amelia Peabody, adventuring around Victorian-era Egypt and bashing people with her parasol when they won’t do what she wants...

Read the rest of the entry here.

Now I'm running back to my post at the mailbox, Just In Case the book somehow got from New York to Wales overnight. You never know! It is a book about magic, after all! ;)

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1) In less than two hours, family members from America will be arriving in Wales - and it'll be the first time I will have seen any of my family in nearly two years! I woke up early this morning and found myself singing (loudly!) with excitement as I sashayed around the kitchen making breakfast.

This is not my usual morning style, to say the least. (My usual style tends toward sleeping as late as possible, then moaning and hobbling around like a zombie with eyes half-closed for the first half-hour.) For the record, apparently what my personal subconscious brings out when I need to really properly express total joy and exhilaration is: "Do You Hear the People Sing?" from Les Miserables. Huh. Wouldn't have predicted that one (although my union-organizing great-grandpa might have been proud), but belting it out felt exhilarating, and it was surprisingly danceable! Poor Patrick. MrD liked it, anyway! ;)

2) Tricia Sullivan's Lightborn - the best science fiction novel I've read in years, and I am NOT only saying that because she is a friend!* - is on the Arthur C. Clarke Award shortlist!!!! I am filled with glee about this. Trish is not only a fabulous, inspiring writer, but also an incredibly warm, supportive person who's always there for everyone else. I love, love, love seeing her get such well-deserved recognition for her work!

Okay, we have to leave for the train station in less than an hour, and there's still a bit of house-cleaning that really ought to be done before guests arrive. But for once, I'm not even groaning about that. I'm too busy celebrating! And you can celebrate with Tricia here.

__

*Being a good writer-friend**, to me personally, means buying copies of your friends' books even if they aren't your kind of thing, and not publicly bad-mouthing those books even if it turns out you can't stand them. It doesn't go an inch further than that - so if I say here that I love a book by a friend, it means I really do love it, I'm not just being loyal.

**And PPS, in conjunction w/all the "YA Mafia" discussions going on this week, I just want to add: this is my personal definition of being a good friend, not a good blogger or anything else. Being a good book reviewer is something totally different from being a good friend!

Personally, I avoid bad reviews of my own work like the plague, but since I purposely avoid reading those reviews, I certainly don't bear any grudges toward their authors or even think twice about them except to hope that they might like my next story better. (Which I've done as a reader sometimes - hated one of an author's books to the point of literally throwing it against a wall and then become a huge fan of that same author later on. I did that with Julia Quinn, who's now one of my favorite authors of adult Regency romantic comedy. So there's always hope!) And as a reader looking for recommendations, I'm happy to see both good and bad reviews from reviewers I trust.

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This morning, I stepped outside to dump a pile of fruit peelings into the compost. It was a bright, sunny morning in our fully-enclosed back yard, which isn't accessible by anyone but us. And yet...sitting on top of our big green compost holder was a tall, empty glass. One of our glasses, yes, but sitting in a really bizarre place, one where neither of us would have intentionally left it. (And it definitely hadn't been there the last time I'd gone out there, not too long ago.)

There was, of course, one obvious explanation: Patrick must have gone outside recently, set his glass there for a moment and then forgotten about it. A normal person might have thought of that explanation straight away, and thought no further. But I grew up on fantasy stories, and when I saw it, the very first thing I thought was:

Patrick just said the other day that he couldn't figure out where all of our glasses kept disappearing to.

I reached out, very tentatively, and I picked up the glass, looking nervously around our empty yard. I said, into the air: "Thank you?"

And then I cursed myself, because the next thing I thought was: They don't like it when you say 'thank you'! It's against the rules!

"Uh," I said. "I mean, I appreciate it. I'm glad to have the glass back."

And then I walked very, very quickly back into the house.

As soon as I saw Patrick, I demanded, "Did you leave a glass on the compost bin?"

"Yes," he said. He looked a bit nervous, like I might be about to tell him off for it.

Instead, my shoulders slumped with relief. "Thank God," I said. "Because I was afraid otherwise I might have seriously irritated some local fairies."

Or, um, Fair Folk. Oops. There, I've done it again.

I would be a hopeless fantasy heroine.

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I would fight to my last breath for you.

Yes, it really does get that melodramatic in my head, from time to time.

BUT. In the past few weeks, I've read sooooo many descriptions of fabulous writers' retreats that friends online have attended, and ohhhh have I felt wistful. The thing is (warning: many mixed metaphors ahead!), right now I'm trying to dream up a new novel from scratch, set in an era of history I've never worked in before. I'm trying to listen hard enough to the heroine's whispered voice that I can really tune into her and her needs, absorb myself in her historical era, really put enough nurturing into the project for ideas to start to flower...

...and, well, it would just be really lovely to be on a retreat for a week or two right now, somewhere really beautiful where there was nothing for me to do but write and think about my project all day long. Sigh...

OK. Whine over! And honestly, even beyond any questions of responsibility (or joy, because parenting brings an awful lot of that, too), I think it's actually good for me to balance writing with parenting, 99% of the time. It keeps me a balanced person and keeps me anchored in the real world. It's just that it's an awful lot easier to do that when I'm working regularly on an ongoing project than when I'm trying to dream up a whole world in the first place.

And maybe because I had all of this turning itself over in my head already, Janni Lee Simner's new short story, "Seal Story", hit me with an enormous wallop. I cried when I read it. And I loved it. I recommend it to everybody, but particularly to moms (as long as they have kleenex on hand, just in case).

I've also been having a wonderful time lately doing Serious Important Research in my off-hours, since one of the things that that involves (I have decided) is watching every good 1930s screwball comedy out there. Woooot! Ahem. I mean: what a shame. The things we have to do, as artists... ;)

I started my project a few days ago, and so far I've watched My Man Godfrey (SO funny! I loved it) and After the Thin Man. Bringing Up Baby is next on the list, and I've ordered It Happened One Night, which I haven't watched in years. Which ones should I watch next? What would you guys recommend?

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There are times when desperate measures have to be taken, though. Last night was terrible. I mean really, really terrible! Literally hours and hours of wake-ups all through the night (because MrD, though cheerful and better in the day, feels worst at night). And yet, US copyedits on Kat 2 (Renegade Magic) are due TODAY - and although I'd done most of them Wednesday night after MrD went to sleep, I'd put off the very hardest ones to deal with Later.

Today, the dreaded Later has arrived...and this morning, when MrD came in at 7am to wake me up, all I wanted to do was hide under the covers.

Noooooooo! MUST SLEEP! CANNOT THINK! Too tired! Too CFS-y! Waaahhhhhh!

But really, there were only two options. I could curse the world and spend the morning feeling massively self-pitying...or I could make it a good morning, despite itself. Which would be more fun?

For once, I picked Option B. I made pancakes. We almost never make pancakes, so they're a special treat, and I made Nigella Lawson's amazing blueberry-infused maple syrup to go with them. (Here's the entire recipe: mix 125ml of maple syrup with 200g of frozen blueberries in a saucepan. Heat to a boil, let it bubble for 2-3 minutes, then remove from heat and pour over pancakes for PURE BLISS!)

It's amazing how much better a day becomes when you start it with pancakes and blueberry syrup! Our whole family was feeling much, much happier by the end of the meal.

And then my shift of mood was completed when I found this wonderful video on the Fluttering Butterflies book blog. It's called "Post-it Love", and it's a perfect short film - just 3 minutes long and filled with happiness. Watching it felt like getting a pure infusion of sweetness and energy. Heaven!

Now I've worked my way through all but the very last of the copyeditor's notes. The last one, of course, is the hardest. (I wouldn't have put off the easiest...although maybe a smarter person would have gone that route.) Please wish me luck.

And let me know if you've found anything cheerful or fun on the web lately for a rainy, tired Friday!

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...until this morning, when MrD turned out to be really, really sick.

He's doing better now, and he's started antibiotics, so - knock wood - things are definitely looking up. But from the moment of waking up until 2pm, everything else in life stood still while we all went into sick-child panic-mode, and now that I'm off childcare duties, I'm feeling completely exhausted and wrung-out, both physically and emotionally.

So I'll just leave you with the song I've been obsessed with for a week (which I discovered via Rachel Hawkins's blog), "Drumming Song" by Florence and the Machine:

Very much hoping that if I listen to it enough, it'll give me the energy to do at least a bit of what I'd had planned for the day...

What about you guys? How are your Wednesdays going?

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Oops. I always hate that news.

But it was worth it, especially because I did some of the cooking the day before, and Patrick made the cake himself, as - I am ashamed to admit - has become our annual tradition. (He's such a great cake cook that even non-vegans genuinely adore the vegan chocolate cakes he makes, and when you add in the CFS as a deciding factor, it just ended up making sense to split the cooking duties that way this year, again. MrD and I took care of the cake decorations, at least...but the cake itself was so delicious that I couldn't feel too guilty about not making it myself.)

And then it turned out there'd been a miscommunication, so our guests turned up carrying ANOTHER delicious, multi-layer, homemade vegan chocolate cake! Which I have to say is the happiest cake accident that has ever happened in my experience. Of course, we HAD to eat some of both, JUST to be polite...what a shame. ;) So in other words, it was a really fun day.

What I really want to say, though, is: beyond party-scheming and cooking, beyond cake and balloon-blowing, what I really kept on thinking about yesterday is just how lucky and happy I am to be with Patrick. It'll be our tenth anniversary of couple-dom this coming summer. Nearly ten years into our relationship, I keep on having fun with him, being blown away by his writing and insights, being comforted by him when bad things happen, and loving him more and more as I get to know him in new ways, especially as I watch him being such an amazing father to our son.

You can read all of his published short stories through his website, but in case you've never read any of them, here are a couple of my favorites (both originally published in Realms of Fantasy): Uncle Vernon's Lie and When the Dragon Falls.

Happy (one-day-late) birthday, Patrick!

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Because trying to find the perfect birthday treat for a man who loves outdoor activities - on a day when it's scheduled to rain miserably - and who is a vegan, in a town without any good vegan-friendly restaurants...well, it's a challenge, to say the least. If nothing else, we'll have great guests coming, so it should be fun even if all we do is sit in our house and eat mediocre Indian take-out. But I'd really rather it be a little more special than that.

Please wish me luck in my scheming over the next few days...

But I had a wonderful surprise piece of news yesterday - Kat, Incorrigible is on the Spring 2011 Indie Next list! This makes me incredibly happy, especially because it's something I'd secretly fantasized about for years, but had never really expected to happen.

Now if only a really wonderful Indian or Pakistani restaurant could be air-lifted into our town within the next 24 hours...sigh. I think that may be one miracle too many for the universe to provide.

Back to the drawing board!

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The last month or so has been a bit of a whirlwind - first the Big Push to finish the first draft of the dragon novel, and then racing around to take care of all the Serious Business-y errands that I'd been putting off until then. So I only just realized that I've forgotten to talk here about some Kat giveaways that are going right now. (I always remember to tweet about them, but I know not everyone is as addicted to Twitter as I am.)

First of all, Sabrina at YA Bliss is giving away an ARC of Kat, Incorrigible this month on her blog as part of her YA Historical Fiction Challenge. The giveaway is open to anyone in the world who follows the guidelines set out in the competition entry.

Secondly (and at least I'm only a day late announcing this one!), if you live in the UK (or have a helpful friend with a UK address who's willing to post your winnings to you), you can enter to win a published copy of A Most Improper Magick (the UK edition of Kat Book 1) on the Fluttering Butterflies blog.

Right, I'm pretty sure that's it. But if you guys have spotted any others I don't know about, please let me know and I'll boost the signal here!

In the meantime, I'm reading Aliette de Bodard's Harbinger of the Storm, which is dark and lush and even better than the first novel in her Aztec fantasy/mystery series for adults, Servant of the Underworld. If you love adult historical fantasies OR adult historical mysteries, you really, really ought to check this series out.

And I spent yesterday devouring Jennifer Echols's Going Too Far, a novel for older teens which turned out to be my favorite romance novel (for any age) that I've read in a long time. I absolutely loved the fact that the serious (and very real) baggage that both the heroine and hero were dealing with never, ever stopped the book from also being sharp and very, very funny. I'd read the opening pages a couple years ago and thought, Oh, no, too much angst for me right now, but that impression turned out to be completely wrong. I laughed and had so much fun through the whole novel, despite also caring deeply for the characters and their issues.

What about you guys? What books have you been enjoying lately?

(I also read and totally adored Jo Walton's Among Others, but I think I'm going to wait and devote a whole blog entry to that one sometime.)

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I knew exactly what I wanted. "Can we watch another episode of Battlestar Galactica?" (Yes, I have FINALLY discovered this show, only several years later than the rest of the world...and now I am addicted. Patrick has already watched it, but he's kindly re-watching the whole series with me now.)

"Sure," Patrick said, and shut down what he'd been doing on the computer.

I started to feel guilty. After all, it was Valentine's Day, and he had already watched this show once before. "We don't have to, though, if you don't really want to..."

"I beg your pardon," he said. "My wife wants to watch killer robots on Valentine's Day. Why would I argue?"

"It's definitely proof you married the right woman," I agreed.

And I definitely married the right man. It was a very, very nice way to spend the evening of Valentine's Day. :)

And for more about love - the reality as well as the romantic fantasy - check out my guest blog post on Fluttering Butterflies, Lessons Jane Austen Taught Me About Love. Here's a quick sample...

I fell in love for the first time when I was eight years old. My dad said, “I think you’ll like this book…” and took out Pride and Prejudice to read to me, one chapter a night. That was it: I was a goner.

Oh, the banter between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy! Oh, the crunchy conflict! The laugh-out-loud humour! The romance! I read P&P over and over again and lapped up every single movie and TV version. I devoured every book Jane Austen had written, adding Sense and Sensibility and Persuasion to my list of Favourite Books Ever.

And along the way, I learned some things about romance. Real romance, I mean, not just the fictional fantasy. Here are the top five rules I learned...

Read the rest of the blog post here (and please do leave a comment if anything strikes you!).

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So: in other words, I really wasn't looking forward to the trip. Still, I got on the train, I found my way to the identity services office after only getting lost once, the interviewer was friendly, the interview only lasted about 10 minutes...

...And there I was, stuck in Newport for at least an hour while I waited for the next train. I'd never spent much time in Newport. I knew they had a nice theater, but apart from that I didn't know the town at all, and the section right around the train station is a bit grim. Still, something occurred to me as I chatted to Patrick on my cellphone after the interview: "Hey, isn't there a Waterstones in Newport that stocks my book?"

(Yes, I know which Waterstones branches stock my book. I shouldn't know this, honestly. It's like checking your Amazon rankings - never a good idea! But almost impossible to resist, when Waterstones makes the info so easily available on their website.)

Patrick looked up the address, and it turned out that the store was only a block away from where I was standing. So, I wandered over. Why not? My whole, entire plan was to sign my book, then leave to do some grocery shopping on the way back to the train station. At least, that was my plan...

...until I stepped inside, when I realized: Oh. My. God. The Newport Waterstones is amazing! It's TARDIS-like, for one thing: soooo much bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. And the inside...oh, the inside. I walked around the shop in a daze. So many books I'd seen discussed online but never seen in a physical bookshop, all lined up waiting for me to browse them! I ran my fingers over their spines with sheer wonder.

And so many cool American imports, too! Books I love that have never been published in the UK, like Lisa Mantchev's Eyes Like Stars and Jim Hines's princess fantasy adventures for adults. I really wished I'd brought my camera to take pictures for Lisa and Jim.

Oh, I wanted every book in that store! Unfortunately, I'd already spent my monthly book allowance...so I compromised by buying just one book, Janice Hardy's The Pain Merchants. But I will be back, oh, yes, I will, and not just to sign books.

And I was so glad to have gone to Newport, after all.

Today I'm still humming with bookstore joy, and feeling massively creatively energized by all the awesome books I browsed yesterday. I've started working on a new full-length short story, for the first time in a year. (I've written flash fics in-between, but otherwise focused purely on novels.)

And I just found a cool link to share - Chris Evans from BBC's Radio 2 asked a whole bunch of kids' authors (including me!) for our best writing advice, in 50 words or less. When I sent mine off, there wasn't any assurance that it would necessarily be used, but hooray - you can see the results here, with concise writing advice from fabulous authors like Frances Hardinge, Cressida Cowell, and, yes, me, too. :)

What about you guys? Have you made any fun discoveries this week?

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...but! I do have two photos to share of things that have made me very, very happy anyway.

The awesome "jaebi_lit" sent me this photo in response to last week's entry about travel:

Eeee! Kat (in her UK edition) having adventures in San Francisco! It made me just giddy with happiness to see it. Thank you soooo much, "jaebi_lit"!

And this second one...well, just check out what I got in the mail this weekend!

Advance (British) copies of Kat Book 2!!! (In the UK, it's A Tangle of Magicks, Book Two in The Unladylike Adventures of Kat Stephenson, and it'll come out on August 1st; in the US, next spring, it'll be Kat, Incorrigible: Renegade Magic.)

My second book! It's getting totally real! It just felt incredible to see it, and to be able to mail a physical copy to one of the people it's dedicated to. Since it doesn't come out over here for another 6 months, I'll probably wait until May to start giving away my British ARCs. For now, though, I'm ecstatic just to be able to ogle the pile sitting on my bookshelf...and sometimes to pet them, too.

It was a really, really good package to get in the mail. :)

--

*No, we still don't have a real TV, but I rented the Season 1 box-set of "Glee" last Friday and have torn through over half of it already. Considering that I usually watch a maximum of one TV episode a week, this is a CRAZY-INTENSE ORGY of TV-watching.

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The good news is, windy though it still is, now that it's light outside and obviously NOT thunderstorming, she trotted off very happily with her dogwalker this morning, perfectly ready to go climb a mountain and race around investigating scents with her tail swishing.

I feel like I ought to be trying to pull a metaphor out of this, and wow, is there plenty to work with this week. As always after sending off a new novel (this time to my agent, less than a week ago), I'm going through my own mindless panic (What if he hates it? What if I've lost the ability to write? What if everything I thought was fun and funny makes him want to puke?), and even three very positive responses to the novel from writers I trust have not yet dampened my neurotic-author panic.

So I've been doing my own version of the lights-on, soothing-background-noise approach by working on my trilogy proposal, making plans for the next book, starting to write some of the guest blogs that I've promised for the next few months...lots and lots of writerly distraction, in other words.

But no, Maya isn't the only one who's been feeling a little panicky of late. ;) I wonder whether any authors do get to the stage of feeling absolute confidence, when they send off their manuscripts, that the books they loved writing WILL be loved by other people? I would assume that Nora Roberts and Stephen King must have gotten there by this point, based on their enormous success...except that, having watched a fair number of JK Rowling interviews, I have finally figured out that the pressure of worldwide expectation and anticipation can actually make that part of writing even more nerve-wracking.

Ah, well. Going back to the distraction method, via Kristin Cashore's blog, I've discovered a fabulous, new-to-me band that is perfect for my family: Apocalyptica. It's a Finnish heavy metal band formed by four classically-trained cellists (so, a perfect mix of my and Patrick's musical tastes!), and it is awesome. Kristin linked to their cover of "Nothing Else Matters", which is great (and which led me to listen to lots and lots of other Apocalyptica songs on youtube and finally buy their album Cult), but as a classical music geek, my very favorite of their pieces is their adaptation of Grieg's "Hall of the Mountain King", for heavy metal cellos. Alas, I can't embed it in this blog entry, but here's the link to the official video, which is so much fun. I love it!

What about you guys? Can you recommend any other good distractions?

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But sometimes I just can't.

Ever since I sold the Kat trilogy, in 2008, I've been excited about traveling back to America when the first book came out there. My original plan was to do a mini-tour, starting in NYC to hang out with my awesome agent, my editor, and all the other great people at Atheneum Books, then moving on to my hometown in Michigan and making sidetrips to Chicago and Toronto. I thought it sounded fabulous when I planned it, last year (back when the book was due out in 2010).

Then the year went on...and the CFS got worse. A lot worse. I love doing events, like the Big Read in Newport and BristolCon in Bristol...but each of those days out has left me flattened for a week or two afterwards, stuck on my back on the couch. It was worth it to do them, of course, and I want to keep on doing that kind of thing...but in the back of my mind, it made me start to wonder: can I really do that American mini-tour? International flights (and jet-lag) are a lot worse for CFS than two-hour train trips.

I hated even asking myself the question, but I couldn't quash it entirely, so I decided that really, it was only financially sensible to limit my planned trips a bit. So Patrick and MrD and I would just go to Michigan, without any of the other stops, and I would only do a few events. A launch party, a library visit, a couple of school visits spread out across 3 weeks. That had to be do-able. Didn't it?

Then it came time to buy tickets...and finally, all that fear and knowledge I'd been shoving aside because I didn't want it to be true...well, it wouldn't let itself be shoved aside any longer. It came back and showed me its teeth and forced me to listen.

I can't do it. Not this year. Maybe if I was on my own, I could get through it by resting non-stop for every moment that I wasn't doing an event...but I can't do that with a toddler who's going through jet-lag and not sleeping at night. (And the one time when MrD won't accept anyone BUT me is in the middle of the night...the worst time for the CFS, which pounces whenever I lose sleep.) Even if I got through the American trip, once we got back to the UK, MrD would go through jet lag and adjustment all over again, and I'd end up flattened for...well, I don't know how long the crash would last, but the prospect frightens me.

It frightens me for my own sake, and also for the sake of MrD. I have to be well enough to look after him, at least for part of the time. That's non-negotiable.

So I had to make the decision I least wanted to make. I wrote to my family, letting them know I couldn't come after all. I wrote to my editor and publicist at Atheneum, letting them know I had to cancel the commitments I had made to promote the book in person. Those were really painful emails to write.

Here's where I'm also incredibly lucky: I have a wonderful family, who reacted with nothing but love and sympathy. And I have the best editors in the world, which was proven not only by the fact that my US editor sent me a Jane Austen pin and a sticker that reads "I'd rather be at Pemberley" as my utterly perfect holiday gifts this year (the sticker is sitting on my laptop now, making me laugh every time I see it!), but that she phoned me up after she read my email, just to make completely certain that I know how much she and the company are on my side, loving the books and me no matter where I am or what events I can or can't do. I felt so, so lucky and reassured after I got that phone call.

So. That's why I won't be coming to America this year, after all. And...well, it would be too much to say that I'm okay with it. I'm not, honestly. I wanted so badly to be there, to see my book in the stores and in my local library, to celebrate its release with my family and friends there.

But I know it was the right decision. And I hope that I can figure out a way between now and April 5th to make Kat's US publication day a real launch party even if it has to be online.

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My first entry was dated July 30th, 2003. I was a PhD student at the University of Leeds, struggling to balance academics with writing, two years after attending the Clarion West writing workshop. I hadn't made even one pro short story sale yet, and even as I was sending out my first novel for kids, Sensible Sorcery, I was revising my second, Dark Talent.

It felt so weird to read that entry, and the couple of entries that came right after it. Wow, have I learned a lot since then. Most of all, the value of persistence! I loved writing Dark Talent. It was a contemporary MG novel about a Croatian-American family (so, with some overtones of my own family background), all of whom have freaky magical powers and even freakier relatives who are about to come and cause major trouble on a visit. I wrote it, revised it...and then I screwed up. I sent it to only four agents. Four! (Which was at least three more than I'd tried with the first novel.)

Three of them asked for full manuscripts, and one of them asked for a revision, which I did. Unfortunately, the agent who'd asked for that revision was a junior agent in a large agency, and her bosses turned the novel down when she said she wanted to represent it, post-revision...

...And how did I react to that news? By giving up completely and burying the novel in a desk drawer. Three years later, that agent formed an agency of her own and emailed me to ask if she could represent Dark Talent after all, because she'd always remembered it. I had to say no, because I'd signed on with a different agent for my adult novels by then and moved on.

But I felt really dumb. Because guess what? If 3/4 of the agents you query like your opening and synopsis enough to read your full novel...and if one of those agents asks for a revision and then wants to take your novel on, even if they can't...that's actually a great rate of first responses. That means it's fairly likely that another agent will take on your novel in the end, if you're strong and brave and keep on trying. I wasn't, back then. I felt total shame for having even tried to market a "clearly" unmarketable novel, and I hid it in my desk drawer and tried to forget that I'd ever written it. That was my big mistake.

Of course, I'm glad in many ways that it didn't work out with those early novels, because I'm a better writer in 2011 than I was in 2003, and I think that Kat, Incorrigible is way better than Dark Talent. I wouldn't go back and try to sell those early books now, because I want people to read the best books that I can write now. But one really important thing that also changed over the years, along with becoming a better writer, was this: I developed a sense of persistence. I sent Kat to way, way more than four agents, and I ended up with three different agents offering on it in the end, including the one (hi, Barry!) who'd been my dream agent from the very beginning, the one I'd been too nervous to even approach when I first started my search (because I thought he only represented the really cool writers, not normal people like me).

If I'd given up after four agent rejections, like I did with Dark Talent, I wouldn't have any novel sales by now.

Reading my old journal entries feels like meeting up with a different person, someone I have a lot in common with, but someone who's no longer my twin. I wish I could go back and give her a hug...but also tell her to buck up and learn to fake some confidence in her work - or at least force herself to keep re-submitting it - even when she's so scared by the whole process that hitting "send" on an emailed query makes her want to puke.

But then I'd take her out for coffee and tell her how wonderful things are going to be in seven and a half years, in so many ways. And I'd thank her for getting me here.

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But I'm glad to have made it to the library yesterday to pick up all the books they were holding for me. I'm not convinced that I'll love any of them, but I was just intrigued enough to want to try...which is where libraries act like angels, letting me try books outside my normal comfort zone without any threat of buyers' remorse. (I'd love to have enough money to buy every book I'm curious about, without worrying about whether it'll really be worth the money, but..well, yeah. Not any time soon!)

And speaking of libraries, I'm part of a huge giveaway of 2011 début MG/YA novels for librarians in the US and Canada. It's also open to school English teachers building their classroom libraries and to normal readers (under different entry rules). It's the Elevensies Book Feast, it's a yearlong giveaway in four quarters, and here's the poster for this spring season, which includes a published hardcover copy of Kat, Incorrigible:

You can see a larger version of the poster and find out more about the giveaway, including entry rules, on the Book Feast website.

Now I'm going to dig into my own library hoard, starting with Barbara Erskine's Daughters of Fire. Wish me luck!

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Shops everywhere! Big shops! Bright lights! EVERYWHERE! I was the epitome of a country yokel, gaping at the magnificence around me. I could have swooned from so much CHOICE! It was amazing! It was overwhelming! It was...

Well, it was kind of embarrassing, actually...and also a reality-check that, hmm, maybe it had been a little too long since I'd been in a big city, hmm? ;p

I really like living in a small town, honestly (at least as long as it's not too small to have a bookshop and a good coffeeshop). I love our little town, in particular. But it was good to be reminded that I actually love big cities, too. And I loved, loved, LOVED the fact that as I walked into Cardiff's city center, I was walking toward an enormous castle the whole way. How cool is it to have a big city centered around a massive castle? Shopping AND castle glee in one perfect package!

Yesterday, I only had a couple of hours to spend in the city, so apart from my errand, I spent the rest of my Cardiff time (you may be surprised to learn) alternating between the Cardiff branch of Waterstones, an Oxfam secondhand bookshop, and a coffeeshop. But next time, I want to get closer to the castle itself, definitely. And I WILL be back...if only so that I can stop myself from becoming the type of person who feels faint when she sees more than two clothing shops in a row. ;p

I'm now reading and loving Michelle Sagara's Cast in Shadow, which I found in the Oxfam bookshop. Soooo much fun! High fantasy with some genuine sense-of-wonder moments and wonderful characters, including a great heroine. I can't wait to hunt down the rest of the series.

What about you guys? What are you reading right now?

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However, he did also have his writing session first (we were trading off childcare/writing time yesterday afternoon), and I finished my dragon novel just one hour later...so he (voluntarily! honestly, it was his own idea!) gave me £1 as well. Wooot! What a great husband. And we have agreed (for the purposes of a harmonious marriage) that it really, kinda, sorta counted as a tie. Pretty much!

OK, no, he won. He really did. But I still have £1, to spend any way I like. So, ha! ;p

And most of all, I'm just so happy. I'm still in the post-finishing afterglow of giddiness. Last night as I was lying in bed, I kept thinking, "I finished my book! I really did!"

I wonder: do faster writers experience just as much ecstasy each time they finish a book? I guess so. Probably. After all, I took 14 months to write Kat3 and only 8 months to write the dragon book (well, and 4 years to work out how to write it, but that's another story), and yet I felt just as ecstatic yesterday as I did last February when I finished Kat3. But still. I am too giddy to think clearly about the whole question.

And I had a great/scary thing happen this morning: the marketing officer at Templar Books sent me the full list of books longlisted for the Branford Boase Award. Gulp.

It was great, because - wow. Only twenty books on the list, from all the different UK publishers! And also, wow, those are a lot of fabulous-looking books to go on my TBR list. But it was scary because...well, I'm sure you guys can fill in the blanks. It is a GREAT list of books. I'm looking forward to reading them all, and reminding myself once again that what really matters is how incredibly cool it is that Kat has been included on that list.

Now it's a Wednesday morning, MrD is away, it's our official writing session...and I am not writing my dragon novel. WHOA. This feels like a very strange new world. (Obviously, I'll have to start the second one soon!)

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It started reasonably well: I wrote 1100 words of dragon novel this morning despite a horrid cold and even MORE horrid levels of cold-induced-whininess and self-pity. (WHY do colds induce so much more self-pity than much more serious conditions ever do? There's something about a cold that dissolves every attempt at a stiff upper lip and turns me into a weeping puddle of whininess...as everyone who follows me on twitter can testify, I'm afraid.)

But writing is never the hard part, when it comes to me and productivity. When it comes down to it, I like writing. I want to do it, even on the bad days when it feels much easier not to. My willpower falls down much more often on the irritating, boring, non-writing tasks that just have to be done anyway, Like It Or Not. (Except, er, when I forget to do them. Urk.)

Still, I set off this afternoon with hope and confidence. I gathered up all the materials I've been carefully assembling for the past few weeks, I headed to the post office to send off my and MrD's passport applications, I waited in line, feeling proud and practical and productive...

...and then I realized, halfway through the passport check at the counter, that I had left MrD's birth certificate at home. AUGH!

Sigh. Maybe tomorrow I will finally manage to apply for our passports...only about two years after the day I first thought, "You know, getting our passports would be a good idea." Maybe that will happen.

But really, today's debacle just felt like one more piece of evidence that I am SO lucky to have an agent...because while the actual writing only takes creativity and hard work, there is no way I could ever manage a writing career without someone much more practical and organized on my side!

On the positive side, though, as long as I was in town already and had to wait for my ride home, there was really no reason not to head to my favorite coffeeshop...and once I was there, it would have been silly not to get a lovely, creamy-smooth decaf latte as consolation...and as it happened, I actually had an ARC of Angie Frazier's upcoming novel The Midnight Tunnel waiting in my shoulder bag, and really, since I'm planning to do a guest-blog-review of it next month, it sorta almost kinda counted as productive WORK to sit there sipping a delicious drink while reading an even-more-delicious book...

...but in my secret heart of hearts, I'm pretty sure that my practical-and-productive meter still has a balance of "zero" for the day. Oops.

What about you guys? How are your Mondays going?

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(This is the part of writing where I always thank all the writing gods for my subconscious, because I could NEVER figure out how to resolve all the issues in any of my books if I had to rely on my rational, conscious mind to do it! I'd be stuck in front of a blank screen forever.)

And in the meantime, for anybody who hasn't already seen this (either through my tweet or on Nicola Griffith's blog, where I first saw it), here is the video that has made me laugh hardest (and empathize most) for a very, very long time. I think an awful lot of us can relate to this one:

Happy Saturday! I hope everybody manages to fit in at least a few minutes of uninterrupted reading time...

Do you guys have any fun activities planned for the weekend, or are you just (like me) hanging out without a schedule (and waiting impatiently for the next writing session)?

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And in very nice timing, I just got the payment for my Bewere the Night story, so I'm hoping to take Patrick out sometime in the next week for an official celebration, whether it's a coffeeshop trip or a visit to our local cupcake shop. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got about surviving a writing career was: celebrate everything! And really, why not?

Better yet, if it takes us a while to get out (because somehow getting out of the house as a couple has become an awful lot harder in the last two and a half years...), we might (knock on wood!) even be able to double-celebrate. Three more chapters of my dragon novel to go, and counting down every day! Patrick and I are running a race right now with our two WIPs (my YA dragon novel, his 1930s YA adventure/horror novel). Whichever one of us wins the race by finishing our novel first will win...insert drumroll: £1.

Yes. One shiny gold(-colored) pound coin will be given to the winner.

Yes, we have a joint bank account. Yes, a pound is less than half the price of a small latte. But the thing is? Patrick and I are both very competitive people. For weeks we've been pushing ourselves to write faster than we think we can because by God, each of us is now determined to be the winner.

Sometimes it's really, really useful to be married to another writer, and not always for the most obvious or rational reasons. ;)

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I can't yet share the news I got about Kat, but it's been a week of good news for lots of my friends, which is one of the nicest feelings possible. The BSFA (British Science Fiction Association) just released their shortlists for the 2010 BSFA Awards, and they included Tricia Sullivan's Lightborn (which you guys might remember me raving about last October! it's one of the very few science fiction novels I have absolutely LOVED in recent years), and Aliette de Bodard's short story "Shipbreaker" (which I haven't read yet, but which I am still thrilled about, because I love Aliette's work - right now I'm waiting very impatiently for my pre-ordered copy of her new novel, Harbinger of the Storm, to arrive).

It's so great for recognition to come to wonderful, talented writers who are also wonderful, kind, generous and hard-working people. You can cheer for Tricia here and Aliette here. (And ohhhh, am I frustrated that this is the first year I won't be attending Eastercon - I'm expecting to be in America at the time for Kat's US launch. Which I'm really looking forward, to, of course - but this is one Eastercon I'd absolutely love to attend so I could vote for the awards and celebrate with my friends!)

The publishing world is so full of ups and downs. One week wonderful reviews pour in, the next week awful ones slam you; some good books do brilliantly, others sink without a trace. That makes it all the more important to celebrate when good things happen to books and people you love.

Passing around virtual hot chocolates and cupcakes for everyone. Enjoy! :)

ETA: And I just got the OK from my publishers to announce Kat's good news - A Most Improper Magick (aka, Kat, Incorrigible) has been long-listed for the Branford Boase Award! And I am just giddy with happiness about it.

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Well. This year, I have major travel plans to organize and finances to figure out. And it's all been making me pretty tense when I haven't been hiding in the safety of my novel.

Luckily, this year one of the presents I got for Christmas was a yearly planner - the Mslexia Writer's Diary, to be specific. It is genuinely adorable, it's filled with inspiring writing quotes, it's got all sorts of useful pockets for holding things (e.g., passport photos, so that I can't lose them AGAIN), it has a blank sheet facing each week's calendar, for making extra notes...

...and better yet, I finally came up with a strategy for setting weekly task-lists that don't make me want to hide under the covers for the rest of my life.

In the past, I was a big fan of writing down everything that needed doing (outside of writing, which is a given), which meant everything that I could possibly do in a perfect world where I did NOTHING but work non-stop. This filled me with a feeling of great self-righteousness as I made each list...filled by utter panic and despair every time I looked at it afterward...which led to a lot of intentionally "lost" lists, because I couldn't bear to have them lecture me about all the important things I hadn't done.

Now I'm trying a new strategy. On the blank page facing every calendar week, I'm making a list of what I'd ideally like to get done that week...but this time, in the limited space available (and my handwriting is not small!), the list has to be equally divided between what needs done and what would actually be good for me. Here's the list I've been following this week:

• Pick up books at library
• Mail out passport applications and photos to [countersignatory]
• Bookmark appointment system for US embassy
• Email [specialist] about [financial question]
• Take time to really enjoy MrD
• Close eyes while sipping a perfect hot chocolate
• Remember how much fun my dragon book is
• Rub my dragon-box dragon's nose for inspiration/happiness.

Tomorrow is Saturday, the last day of the week. So far, there are only two things left undone, to be taken care of by the end of tomorrow. (US embassy bookmarking & hot chocolate-drinking, in case you wondered.) So, it's been a reasonably productive week, but better yet, every time I've read through the list, my shoulders may have begun to hunch - but they always relaxed by the end of the list. Every single time, I was smiling by the end of my reading, instead of feeling intimidated and overwhelmed.

My perfectionist inner self thinks the list is a wimpily condensed version of HOW ENORMOUSLY MUCH REALLY NEEDS TO BE DONE, YOU SLACKER...but I've done way more this week than I would have otherwise. So I'm going to stick with my slacker new ways for a while.

What about you guys? How do you manage your to-do lists?

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Stop to cook food? Pah. I've just started the climactic dance scene, where everything's about to go haywire in the most embarrassingly public fashion. Why stop for food?

Take time out to shower? Do you know how limited my writing time is? As if a shower could be more important than my novel!

(Note: these are my priorities talking...not those of everybody else who has to come into contact with me. You may feel free to feel pity for them...and be thankful that you can't smell me through the internet. ;p )

Take time off to rest, because of the ME/CFS? Madness! (Or, er, not...but y'know. I'm in writing-mode, not common-sense mode.)

Pretty much the only thing that makes me voluntarily take time off right now is MrD, because even glittering blue-and-green shoulder dragons can't compare to him. Which is saying a LOT.

But it is hard to think of anything else to write about right now, in my current state of obsession. So (since all that's existed in my life lately is writing/childcare/sleep, which is far less interesting to write about), here's a very tiny snippet from the novel: the first two paragraphs of Chapter One (with the reminder: this is my VERY rough first draft).

It was a truth universally acknowledged that any young lady without a dragon was doomed to social failure. But it was becoming increasingly obvious to everyone in Hathergill Hall that for Penelope Hathergill, actually having a dragon would guarantee disaster.

“Aaaaargh!” Penelope’s piercing shriek rattled the glass in the chandelier above her. “He’s done it again! Mother!”

I hope you guys are having weeks that include moments of truly joyful obsession!

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And Patrick and I BOTH have excellent non-parenting news! First, I found out that I've re-sold my short story "Blue Joe" (first published in Shimmer magazine) to Ekaterina Sedia's upcoming urban fantasy anthology Bewere the Night. It's an anthology of shapeshifter stories for adults that includes stories by Holly Black, Cherie Priest, Elizabeth Hand, and so many others...so in other words, I'm just really staggered and excited to be included in the book (which, in a nice coincidence, will come out in America just a few weeks after Kat, Incorrigible).

It feels particularly meaningful, too, since "Blue Joe" is one of my most personal stories, written in memory of my grandfather, Emil Bauman, Sr. It's about a Croatian immigrant family band in Youngstown, Ohio in the 1940s, which none-too-coincidentally is around the same time that my own Croatian-immigrant grandpa and his brothers formed a family band in Youngstown, Ohio...without, of course, any shapeshifting or other fictional complications. ;) So I wrote the story with extra care and love, and this sale means even more to me than it would under other circumstances.

And I feel inordinately (and even irrationally) smug that Patrick has just sold his short story "The Equation" to Realms of Fantasy, since he wrote that story as a Christmas gift for me last year! It's romantic and magical and just awesome, and even though I had no influence on the writing of it (it was a surprise for me on Christmas morning), I still feel remarkably possessive about it and therefore extra-thrilled by the sale. I can't wait to see the art they commission for it!

So all in all, it's been a great week for writing news, which is a lovely, motivational way to start the new year. In fact, I'm SO motivated right now that I'm actually making a truly painful sacrifice: I'm giving up the opportunity to go see "The King's Speech" at our local cinema tomorrow (complete with ice cream intermission!) so that I can have an extra novel-writing session. That's true commitment!

Now, if only novels responded to parental guilt trips, I would be guaranteed success...sadly, I'm not so sure that that's the way it works. ;)

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In other words, a lot of my time lately has been spent fretting. Sigh. But luckily, I've been doing a lot of reading, too. I just finished Everlasting, by Angie Frazier, and...mmmmmm! Yummy historical fantasy adventure in the vein of Indiana Jones or the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, full of giant spiders, storms at sea, family betrayals and forbidden romance. I adored it!

And oh, I was sooooo grateful that it had a great, satisfying ending - I know there are future books in the series (which I can't wait to read!), but I was dreading a cliffhanger ending and would have had to curse Angie through the internet if that had happened. I NEEDED some resolution! And I got it, deliciously. What a wonderful book!

I'm just over 58,000 words into writing my own (dragon!) novel, now, and it is shooting ahead at a terrifying pace. It feels kind of like (I imagine) riding a horse who's taken over control of the ride - we're hurtling across the terrain now, and I'm not the one holding the reins anymore, my characters are! So I'm feeling exhilarated and panicky, all at once. But I'm also really, really loving the momentum of it all...and REALLY hoping to finish the draft before my editorial letter for Kat3 arrives!

What about you guys? What have you read and loved lately? And how are your weeks going?

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This year for Christmas, I wrote my brother Dave a flash-fic based on the starting phrase "The Turkish Gambit". It turned out to be the first fan-fic I've ever written - and it was so much fun to do.

I'm posting it here in hopes that some of you guys might enjoy it too. And I'm pretty sure that 100% of you will figure out exactly what I'm fan-ficcing within the first two paragraphs (if the title itself doesn't give it away first)... ;)  

Always Winter

by Stephanie Burgis

The Turkish gambit has never failed. But even so, as I see the sulky--and really quite unattractive--boy’s eyes glaze over with longing, I have to heave an inward sigh.

Is it really necessary to go through this every single time? I am the Queen of Winter. Look at my wolves, my sleigh, my magnificence! You can come live in my enchanted palace and be my prince forever!

...or, all right, fine, if all that’s not enough for you, Mr. Ever-so-Special, then how about this sugary little treat as an incentive, instead?

Really. I have always understood that humans are shallow, but Turkish delight costs less than fivepence apiece. Is it really more persuasive than an entire castle made of ice?

I suppose I ought to be grateful that so many parents worry about their children’s teeth, nowadays. If candy weren’t a forbidden pleasure, I would never have any chance at all.

My wolves flick nervous glances at me, sensing the downward shift in my mood as my new prince climbs onto my sleigh. My prince, of course, hasn’t noticed a thing. He’s too busy tearing into the box of candy, slobbering all over his ugly, brown-and-gray school uniform. I avert my gaze with a shudder.

This is worthwhile, isn’t it?

Of course it is, I tell myself, and I crack the whip extra-hard to emphasize the point. My horses rear, white as snow and gleaming like ice. They run as smoothly as the streams I no longer allow to flow through my cold, cold land. My wolves are a lethal blur of beauty beside us.

To keep this pure, crystalline perfection, I need my princes by my side--and I will never let my ex come back and ruin my country again. Not ever. No matter how many boring boys I have to live with in the meantime. Because without him, I am power, I am strength, I am--

“I’m finished with this,” my newest prince announces. He smears a finger across the empty box to pick up the last scattering of sugar. “Don’t you have any more? I thought you were s’posed to be rich, like. I’m not trying to be funny, right, but this is pathetic.”

For a moment, I think one of my wolves is growling. Then I realize it’s me.

I force my teeth into a rictus-grin. “There’s more at the castle. Did I tell you about the castle? It’s five thousand feet high, and in the sunlight it sparkles like--”

“There’d better be a lot more,” says my prince, “because in my House at school, they call me the human rubbish bin. I can eat everything, that’s me.”

“How charming,” I mutter through gritted teeth. “I’ll make sure to include your nickname on the royal coins.”

“Whatever.” He sprawls back in his seat, contemptuous gaze dismissing the perfect winter landscape around us. “But I hope we get there soon, yeah, because I’m, like, totally bored.”

For a moment, I have the oddest feeling that my ex can see me, even though I banished him centuries ago. I always secretly wished that he could see me now, of course. I wanted him to burn with his loss and cringe at the sight of my power.

But somehow, at this moment, it doesn’t quite work the way I had imagined.

When he looks at me, he doesn’t notice my diamond crown or the steel-tipped whip in my hand. He doesn’t moan with awe and terror at the sight of his streams and rivers seized by ice, his palaces buried under mountains of snow. Instead, he looks from me to the boy beside me…and he’s laughing.

Damn it.

I really, really hate it when he’s right.

-END-

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Then I did too much cleaning (ironically enough, in preparation for the cleaning lady to arrive - I wanted to get the living room clean so that she could vacuum it), the CFS reared up and whopped me, I spent the next hour flat on my back with my head spinning and no writing happening at all...and I found myself yelling at myself all over again with all the same old, same old phrases. You're so lame, you'll never get the important things done, you never DO anything, you're wasting your only writing time, you're such a loser...

Sigh. From one extreme to the other...

(After my hour off, btw, I sat up and wrote 714 words. It wasn't the 1000 words I'd hoped for, but at least it was better than the 500 words that made up my minimum goal.)

So.

In a (I hope) healthy balance between those two ends of the spectrum, I've come to a somewhat radical (for me) decision about this year's New Year's resolutions. I'd been planning all sorts of things to put on that list, from the impressive wordcounts I wanted to hit every week to the exact type of fiction I'd write (and yes, I would still like to write one flash-fic a month, so I was planning to make that a solid goal, to be managed OR ELSE), not to mention all the impressive other accomplishments I would manage with just a few helpings of gumption and bloody-minded determination...but instead, I'm going to pare the list down to one incredibly important (and yet, in my experience, incredibly hard) goal that I really, really want to accomplish in 2011:

I want to be kind to myself.

All too often, I don't manage to do everything I want to - in writing, in author-ing (marketing, traveling, etc), in parenting, in friendship, and in family. But this coming year, I'm going to really, really try to treat those failures in the same way I would treat them if they happened to a friend of mine who was in the same situation.

I don't yell at my friends when they screw up, or tell them that if only they had real willpower, they'd overcome illness/exhaustion/stress/sheer constitutional ineptness in some areas. I bolster up my friends when they fail, I remind them of their very real achievements, and I feel genuine faith that they are doing the best they can and will do better another time.

I don't know if I can manage to treat myself in the same way this year, but I really am going to try. And if worst comes to worst...well, even if I don't accomplish any MORE in 2011, at least there's a chance that I just might waste a bit less time beating myself up for what I haven't done. That has to be a good thing.

And in undiluted good news, Eugie Foster's story "The Tanuki-Kettle" went up on the December Lights Project today, ending the month - and the project - on a really lovely note. I love Eugie's stories, and this is quite possibly my favorite of all the ones I've read.

We've bought a year's worth of web hosting for the December Lights Project, so although we won't be adding any more stories after December is over, you'll have several more months to come back to the seventeen stories we posted throughout the month.

Happy New Year's Eve, everybody. And if you feel like sharing any resolutions here, I'd love to read them.

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This year, the books I loved SO much that I bought extra copies to give to other people at Christmas, because I knew they'd love them too (not including the books that I gave for Christmas even though I hadn't read them myself, or the books that I don't actually lovelovelove myself but did think other people might) included:

Y.S. Lee's The Body at the Tower, Erin Blakemore's The Heroine's Bookshelf, Kate Elliott's Cold Magic, Susanna Kearsley's The Shadowy Horses, Lucy Moore's Liberty, and Julie James's Something About You. They're all books I hugely recommend (although, as a novelist for kids, I have to insert a note that Julie James's novel is a romantic comedy for adults, so it does include a few adult sex scenes).

(And of course there were a ton of other books I loved this year that wouldn't have been the right gifts for the people I was buying for.)

What about you guys? Which books did you give as gifts this year?

Also, I'm a day late in announcing this (because of the aforementioned Christmas celebrations!), but Jacey Bedford's "Baron Boscov's Bastard" (not your standard Cinderella story!) went up on the December Lights Project yesterday. Tomorrow, on the last day of December, Eugie Foster's "The Tanuki-Kettle" will go up...and that will be the last!

I can't believe it's going to be over...but I'm so, so happy about how this whole brainstorm played out. I really hope you guys have enjoyed the stories this month, but honestly, even if no one else in the whole world had, it would still have been a great Christmas gift for myself to have all these stories gathered together. I've really loved it!

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In no particular order: L.K. Madigan's Flash Burnout, Tanya Huff's The Enchantment Emporium, Susanna Kearsley's The Splendour Falls, Alyxandra Harvey's Out for Blood, Sarah Beth Durst's Enchanted Ivy, Phil Rickman's Bones of Avalon, Amy Butler Greenfield's A Perfect Red: Empire, Espionage and the Quest for the Colour of Desire.

And making my gloat even more intense, I also got a bunch of book-ish gift certificates, which means that soon I will be adding Angie Frazier's Everlasting, Caroline Stevermer's Magic Below Stairs, and many more to the stack of books I carry. Luckily, as I read them, the stack gets slightly smaller and more manageable (especially important when I'm having to carry a toddler at the same time).

I've already read Out for Blood, which I loved - I adore Alyxandra Harvey's Drake Chronicles (fun, funny YA romantic comedies with lots of swordfighting and non-angsty paranormal elements), and I loved this one SO much, I thought it was actually as much fun as the first book in the series, Hearts at Stake (a.k.a., My Love Lies Bleeding in the UK), which is saying a LOT. I've also read The Splendour Falls, and while it's my least favorite of Susanna Kearsley's novels, that still leaves it a really entertaining romantic suspense novel (a la Mary Stewart) in a richly developed French setting.

Right now I'm trying to decide whether to read Flash Burnout or The Enchantment Emporium next...and since MrD and I are heading into town this morning with book tokens firmly in hand, the stack should be even higher by this afternoon.

OK. From now on I will be mature and sensible and refrain from any more gloating. But! I really want to know: what books did you guys get this year for whatever holiday you celebrated? Or, if no books were forthcoming that way, which books have you gotten yourself lately? I want to share the gloat (to feel less guilty about it)!

Also: Leah Cypess (whose novel Mistwood is a WONDERFUL YA high fantasy - I can't wait for the next book in the series!) contributed a fun and completely non-holiday-related short story, "Quests, Inc.", that went up on the December Lights Project today. So if you're feeling burned out on all this Christmas spirit - or if you just want to read a fun, lighthearted fantasy story - I hope you'll check it out.

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...And also re-reading Merrie Haskell's fabulous story "Currer Bell Comes to America," which went up on the December Lights Project today, and which hits all of my favorite reading quirks SO EXACTLY that it could have been a Christmas present just for me. Smart, funny YA spec-fic about a modern teen meeting the Brontë sisters? I am SO THERE!

It begins:

I have to confess: when Dad brought Charlotte Brontë and her sister home, I was actually pretty disappointed...

...and then it honestly just gets even better from there. If you, like me, are a fan (or a hater!) of any of the Brontë sisters' novels (for me, it's Jane Eyre 4 EVER), or if you've been following the recent Melissa Marr-Robin McKinley online debate over Jane Eyre, you really have to read this story. And even if you've never read a Brontë novel in your life, this story is so smart and funny that it works perfectly even for non-Brontë fans, so you should read the story anyway!

Now I will stop burbling and proselytizing (as you can tell, this is one of those stories that I love so much I feel a NEED to missionize about it!) and I will make more tea instead. Because sledding was awesomely fun but COLD!

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So why on earth have I been feeling so weirdly melancholy? It took me a while to figure it out, and then...oh, c'mon, I thought. Am I really that much of a cliché?

Yes. Yes, as it turns out, I am. I'm feeling wistful and melancholy because it's almost Christmas and after the Christmas holidays end, MrD is going to start preschool. Of course, it'll only be one day a week, and it's not like he's never spent time away from us before - he has a wonderful childminder who looks after him some mornings while we write. But, but, but...this is a school. Preschool, admittedly, but school. And school means growing up. And, and, and...

This is the paradox of parenthood. I've spent the past several days having fun with MrD but also really, really wishing I could find some more time to write and rest. Today, I finally have time for both of those things - but the moment I finished the writing, my whole being was suffused with the urgent, imperative message: My baby's growing up...so I need him back NOW!

I am not entirely crazy. I did not summon him home, because I know he's having fun, and I really do need the rest. But I was forced to eat an extra Christmas cookie as consolation. Yes, that really was the reason. Honestly.

In more straightforward news...you guys may remember me raving over Marie Brennan's novels - I adore her Onyx Court series of historical fantasies. So I was thrilled when she agreed to take part in the December Lights Project. Her story, "Lost Soul," is up on the website now, all about music and the difference between passion and skill. Having attended an intense music conservatory...well, some of the conversations in there rang uncomfortably true and close to home, for me!

Now I'm going to eat another Christmas cookie, for some very good rational reason that I will come up with later, and wait for MrD to come home to me.

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(Our sparkly coolness extends to our clothing AND much of our house. I would be more distraught about the concept of "mess" if it weren't for the fact that...well, it's gold glitter! How could it be bad for our house to be a bit glittery? ;p )

It's been years since I've made Christmas cookies - not since the last time I made them with my own parents, as a kid - and I'd forgotten that really and truly, they are just like edible play-dough. I had to be really, really stern with myself to restrain myself from grabbing the cookie-cutters out of MrD's hands and playing with it myself!

The actual taste...well, I'm going to keep on looking for more recipes, because this one (Nigella's gold-dust ginger-flavored butter biscuits/cookies) is okay but a little bit bland for my taste. But the actual cutting-out of the cookies, and the sprinkling of the gold dust across them (and us) - that was pure magic!

I also had enormous fun writing my brother Dave a flash-fic for Christmas. This year we agreed to write each other flash-fics as our Christmas gifts, and we each gave each other a sparking phrase. The one he gave me was "The Turkish Gambit", and after a week or two of blankness, the perfect solution suddenly hit...and I ended up writing the first fanfic of my life! I won't go into any more detail here in case he reads this blog entry, but it was shockingly fun.

(And if anyone correctly guesses which book/fantasy world I was fanficc'ing, I'll email you a copy of the story after Christmas!)

It also reminded me of how much I love writing short stories. I used to do it all the time, but now that I'm writing and publishing novels, it's hard to take the time out to write short fiction. Flash-fics, though, tend to come out in just one writing session, so...I think my New Year's resolution this year might be to write one flash-fic a month, just for fun. That's only one writing session per month, which leaves plenty of time for the novels, but also lets me flex my writing muscles a bit in a different way, to keep myself fresh.

If anyone feels like offering me any sparking phrases (for Dave's story, it was "The Turkish Gambit"; for the flash-fic I was commissioned to write last month, to be published next spring, it was "Iota Draconis"), I'd be hugely grateful! It's so much easier and more fun to write stories to a specific challenge like that one.

What about you? Have any of you guys started to think of things you want to do next year, just for fun?

(I cannot for the life of me manage a decent photo of our beautiful Christmas tree...so here's a photo of our other major Christmas decoration! ;p )

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...well, that gives the whole day an Ominous Feeling of Doom, Imminently Approaching.

Eep.

It was a good weekend, though. I spent Saturday doing an Epic Shopping Trip which left my arm and shoulder muscles aching in a very satisfying way. Needless to say, I completely collapsed afterwards, but sometimes that's worth it - and Christmas will happen this year, even if I did spend the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday flat on a couch because of it. Now if only the last of the ordered packages would finally arrive...

(I still love the snow, which continues to fall outside as I type. But I really, really wish that the Royal Mail could cope with it better.)

But reading Tiffany Trent's fabulous (and genuinely mouthwatering) story "Death by Chocolate", which went up on the December Lights Project today, briefly took away every worry I had, from the sense of Impending Health Doom to my fears that all those packages that were supposed to arrive last week may actually not arrive in time for Christmas...

...because as I read her story, all I could think was: I WANT A CUPCAKE, NOW!

Here's a little taste:

Back then, I hadn’t understood what Mary Ellen meant by the cupcakes liking me. I’d thought throughout my apprenticeship that she was a bit unhinged, but I knew I was no gem of normalcy myself. Cupcakes were all she talked of, all she cared about. By and by, they were all I cared about, too. I came to understand that she hadn’t been too much into the tipple or simply undone by loneliness and hard work.

She was right. The cupcakes knew.

Read the full story...and then I dare you not to crave a cupcake of your own! ;)

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...and then there are days when I'm happy to forget all about being a Serious, Responsible Grown-Up for a while.

Today the snow has been falling, thick and soft and white all day. Since we're in Wales, not Michigan, this is a big issue. I grew up in a state that's used to having extreme winters, so there's a whole system set up to deal with them. That's not true of my lovely new town, which means that roads don't get cleared, public transportation often grinds to a halt, and people end up snowed in at levels that wouldn't get blinked at on a normal business day in Michigan.

So the point is, I know that snow really isn't a good idea, here. I do. I already regret the fact that I probably won't be able to get into town tomorrow, the way I'd been planning. I know this is going to cause major practical inconveniences...

...but I can't help it. The snow is GORGEOUS. It feels like a winter wonderland! I spent this morning guiltily trying not to enjoy it, when I knew what huge hassles it was going to cause. I felt like maybe if I let myself enjoy it, I would be contributing to the problem somehow.

This afternoon, though? I cracked. I called up my friend across the street, who has a daughter MrD's age. We agreed that really, what we truly wanted to do on a day like today was go sledding. So we did. We took MrD and his friend out to a hill in a field at the end of our street. We took them sledding, to their total glee, and for the first time all day, I let myself forget all about every inconvenience or hassle this snow is going to cause.

I felt utterly giddy and full of happiness. As we walked home tonight, it felt like walking through a snowglobe. The world was white and silent and beautiful, even as the snow fell on my hair and face. We made footprints in the snow. I tipped back my head.

I really, really love this kind of winter, even if I really shouldn't.

And it was only when I was halfway through writing this blog entry that I realized that it actually all ties in bizarrely well, thematically, to the wonderful story Deb Coates donated to the December Lights Project, "46 Directions, None of them North", which is about aliens, text messages, mothers and daughters...and, most of all, the fact that sometimes, common sense is the last thing we should worry about.

Right now, I'm letting tomorrow's logistical problems stay tomorrow's problems. I'm just enjoying the perfect, beautiful snow.

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...which, for the girl who flunked numerous geometry tests despite being an obsessively good student (I have NO spatial visualization skills!), felt a lot like picking up a hammer and hitting my own skull over and over again...

...so I am just going to collapse now, actually, in a combination of intense relief and sheer mental exhaustion.

But! I couldn't let the day pass without letting you guys know about the latest December Lights Project story, because I've loved Jenn Reese's "Monstrous Love" ever since I heard her read it at WisCon. I laughed like crazy as she read it (it's such a fabulous, fun, funny story, and Jenn is an awesome reader), and I laughed and loved it even more when she sent it to us for the December Lights Project.

Here's the opening:

Just as I got to my locker, I overheard Percy starting in on someone. Since it wasn’t me, I tried to ignore his voice and his dumb laugh as he tormented his victim du jour.

Bulfinch High sucks. The children of Zeus were bad enough with their my-dad-can-beat-your-dad-and-totally-destroy-him-with-lightning-bolts attitudes, but then you still had all the regular cliques to deal with: the heroes, the geeks, the hot chicks, the jocks...and the jerks like Perseus.

“I just want to see what color eyes you got, babe,” Percy said.

I shoved my locker key into the slot. Nope, not listening...

You can read the rest of the story here - and then go check out Jenn's blog, where she links to her other (equally wonderful) Bulfinch High stories. I love the whole series.

Now I'm off to fall over...but WHEW. I'm consoling myself with the reminder that it'll be weeks, at least, before the copyedits arrive and I have to do this all over again. I still love the Roman baths in Bath. I still love this novel. But ohhh, am I grateful that none of my other books are set in real buildings...

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(I kept the kisses imaginary and the promises silent because (a) I would like Patrick not to think I have completely gone over the edge, and (b) I am trying to set a good example to our child. I'm pretty sure they both knew how I felt anyway.)

Every year, I wish I had more money for presents, more energy for in-person (rather than online) shopping and visits, etc., etc., etc...but when it comes down to it, what I really love about this season comes right back to the Christmas tree, and that magical combination of pine tree needles, sparkling lights, and beautiful ornaments. Perfect.

Sadly, our camera's batteries are still recharging, so I can't upload a picture of our tree...but here's a different picture that makes me happy: Maya having an amazing time on the Welsh hills, courtesy of her wonderful dogwalker.

And if I needed one more thing to cheer me up, today's December Lights Project story would do it. Tracy Lynn's story "The Changeling" is a family Thanksgiving story - with a twist - that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it, and I laughed even more as I re-read it yesterday while uploading it to the website. I hope you guys enjoy it too!

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And in case you're wondering why a total Doctor Who fangirl would be two and a half years late in watching that episode...well, the answer is kind of embarrassing.

When it first aired, I was pregnant. Heavily pregnant. Of course, I was watching the current Doctor Who series regardless of my pregnancy...right up through the previous set of episodes, Steven Moffat's excellent "Silence in the Library" two-parter. Which had an ending that was very, very bad for a set of children.

Patrick pointed out, patiently and while holding me as I sobbed, that they were only imaginary children (in more ways than one). It didn't matter. BAD THINGS had happened to children, their mother had not been able to save them, and I was a wailing wreck for the rest of the night.

Patrick watched the next episode, "Midnight", without me, and said afterward: "You'd better not." I took his word for it with pure relief.

Tonight, though, when I found out that the BBC was re-airing it, I asked Patrick, "How scary is it, really?"

"For you now? Not bad," he said. "But then? It was that awful time when you were crying over everything! I couldn't risk it."

It was a really good episode. But I have to admit that he was probably right to warn me off it, two years ago.

"It was a toss-up at the time," Patrick says now. "On the one hand, no children were hurt. But on the other hand, a teenage boy was in some vague danger. I didn't know whether you could cope."

The truth? I couldn't have. And ouch, is that embarrassing. I am so grateful not to have pregnancy hormones flooding me anymore. It's no wonder that stories of personality-changing possession (whether alien or ghostly) have struck a chord with so many people over the centuries. Women go through the real thing every time they have children.

NOT that I am comparing MrD to an alien...just me to a pod-person. I think that's less offensive... ;)

__

PS: And in more timely news...Jaclyn Dolamore's "The Grim Reaper's Christmas" went up at the December Lights Project on Friday!

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I was definitely there to work. And work was all I was about as I looked for somewhere to sit down with the Kindle. I'd stopped at Oxfam first to pick up holiday cards, so I was on the wrong side of town for my usual coffeeshop, but I knew there was a café right by here...

Oh. OH. I had forgotten - because I'd never been inside - what kind of a café this was. This was a cake shop that just happened to also serve coffee.

It probably wouldn't be a good spot to write, I told myself, even as I stepped inside. But since it was right here, only one door away from Oxfam, I might as well just take a look before moving on. It might still be...

OH MY GOD. Suddenly, I was having to try to hide my drool.

Seriously, I have never seen such beautiful cupcakes in my life. They weren't just delicious-looking (although they were definitely that!); they were actually works of art, their perfect chocolate icing sparkling with edible glitter and snowflakes and literally taking my breath away as my feet planted themselves on the ground and refused to move.

My Kindle sat waiting in my shoulder bag. My principles and my common sense were telling me that this was NOT the place to go to get Serious Work Accomplished.

They never stood a chance. I ordered a cupcake and a decaf latte. I waited in a chair by the window, with simmering anticipation, as the café's owner brought them over to me on a beautiful china plate and in an Italian cup, respectively.

The cupcake glittered up at me, festive and fun and playful. I suddenly really, really wished that I had thought to bring my camera along, so that I could have taken a picture to preserve it. I felt almost guilty breaking into its perfection. I ate it anyway.

I can't claim that I got a lot of work done in that café. It's the kind of small, warm, friendly café where everyone spends the whole time chatting with the people at the neighboring tables, even if they're all perfect strangers. But it was fun. And ohhhh, it was worth it. (But I still wish I'd brought my camera!)

I wish I could offer every single one of you guys your own perfect cupcake today, to distract you from everything serious and difficult you should be doing (but would rather not). Since I can't, I'll just direct you over to the December Lights Project, where we just put up a new story, Sherwood Smith's "The Glass Slipper". It's all about finding magic even when you least expect it. And sometimes, that's exactly what we need.

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Last winter, my brother Ben asked me for a fun vampire story set in East Lansing, Michigan, where we grew up. Luckily, once I started thinking about it, the connections were so obvious...

It’s hard to tell the vampires from the students in East Lansing.

Let’s face it: in a university town, at least 80% of the people on the street look young and beautiful. In a northern town gripped by seven months of winter, the only people who aren’t inhumanly pale have spent way too much money in tanning salons. The ones still wearing fashions from twenty years ago are probably math majors; and in the grayest of short winter days, when darkness is only ever replaced by a bleak cloud cover, vampires can safely walk the streets both day and night.

And in every department on campus there are the PhD students who have always been there, their dissertations never quite completed, teaching a section here, a section there, but never, ever leaving. No one in their departments can even remember when they arrived and started their degrees--but with 20,000 whispering, flirting, beer-swilling, belching undergraduates to teach, the professors are only too happy to have reliable teaching assistants on hand who already have the syllabi memorized. It isn’t in their interest to ask too many questions...and anyway, everyone knows that grad students keep strange hours...

You can read the rest of "Undead Philosophy 101" at the December Lights Project, where I posted it today!

FYI, it's upper-YA rather than MG, like my novels. But you probably figured that part out already.

Also, I feel that I should point out - to be fair - that although my brother Ben was indeed a philosophy PhD student (and teaching assistant!) at the time that I wrote that story (and he's now a philosophy professor), he is definitely NOT a vampire himself, as evidenced by the fact that he studied in sunny Florida, not Michigan. So. No rumors, please. ;)

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The truth is, I am not a happy, comfortable cook. I didn't learn how to cook non-packaged meals until Patrick taught me a few recipes, when I was 24. Nowadays, I can follow recipes in cookbooks fairly reliably most of the time, but I usually find the whole process boring and stressful unless there's a really, really fabulous end result (which is why I enjoy baking a lot more than cooking real meals)...and when you add CFS to the mix, I really HATE spending the limited energy I have on cooking.

(Last night, for example, I tried a "30-minute Tarka Dhal" recipe that took an hour and a half and then tasted meh after all that work. Ahhh! I was NOT happy.)

So the fact that I've discovered a recipe for broccoli-stilton soup that's not only fast (it took me 30 minutes yesterday morning, from the time I started gathering ingredients until I poured the finished soup into a bowl) but also so easy that I could do it happily even on a moderately-bad CFS day...well, that feels like a very real gift. I am so happy to have a big batch of soup sitting in the fridge now. I would eat it every day for the rest of the winter, if I could!

(The recipe - like almost all my favorite recipes nowadays - came from Nigella Lawson's Nigella Express, which I DEFINITELY recommend. Every recipe I've tried from it has been fast, easy and delicious...except for the mac & cheese one, and I think that basically comes down to different aesthetics. The kind of mac & cheese I like is just a totally different creature.) (And yes, I know I just talked about the aesthetics of mac & cheese. But I refuse to feel silly about that. ;) )

Today's December Lights Project story, Karen Healey's fabulous "Queen of the Kitchen", has a recipe for pavlova at the end of it (which makes sense after you read the story, a funny, charming fantasy with a heroine who loves cooking), and it's a mark of just how good the story is that by the time I'd finished re-reading it, I very nearly almost decided to try out the recipe myself.

Then I remembered that I'd already had one cooking success with the broccoli-stilton soup, and I should not push my luck! But I would love to hear about it if anybody else is braver...and even if you aren't, the story itself is just so much fun. You can read it here.

We've added two new authors to the list of definite December Lights Project contributors - Deb Coates and Marie Brennan - and also a couple more authors are working on original stories right now and hoping to get them finished in time. I can't even express how much fun I am having with this project. :)

What about you guys? What's making you feel good today?

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...but last Saturday, just as we were about to start getting ready for our early-Thanksgiving guests, as the sky darkened outside even though it was only mid-afternoon, and as I moaned (as I often do) about needing new fingerless gloves, Patrick and I had a joint brainstorm.

At this time of year, the only kind of stories we really want to read - the kind I crave, personally! - are lighthearted, funny ones, with happy endings. The kind that cheer us up even when the weather is grim and our bones hurt from the cold.

And we thought: maybe other people feel that way, too. So we took stories that we'd written, and we went to other authors we knew. And luckily, lots of other writers wanted to play our winter game, too.

We're calling it the December Lights Project. It's not tied into any specific winter holiday, although some of the stories people turned in were related to specific holidays. Not all of the stories are set in winter, much less in December. (And some of the authors who contributed live in spots where it isn't winter right now anyway!)

Here are the only rules we set for December Lights stories, when we invited other authors to join us: happy endings are a MUST; humor is always fabulous although not required as long as the story is generally lighthearted/upbeat; and the stories should be more or less PG-rated (in case young readers of A Most Improper Magick / Kat, Incorrigible want to visit the site).

Some of the stories are reprints, and some of them are originals. Every one of them is a free gift from the author, to help light up the winter darkness for all of us.

Patrick spent the last week and a half building a gorgeous website for our project. I had the easy job - writing emails and uploading/formatting stories. (If you're a writer with either a novel published or contracted or else multiple short stories to pro magazines under your belt, and I forgot to invite you in the madness of this past week, PLEASE don't be shy about letting me know! I would love to have more people join our party. ETA: we're now beautifully full and overflowing, so don't need any more submissions. Maybe next year?)

Right now, we have fourteen authors definitely involved, including Leah Cypess, Tiffany Trent, Pamela Freeman, and many more (you can see the full list on the "About" page of the website). It's possible that that list may still grow a bit throughout December.

We've uploaded the first three stories, by Sarah Prineas, Patrick, and Maurissa Guibord. We've made the site public. We'll add more stories to the site every two or three days all throughout December. (Just to give a quick preview, within the next week and a half we'll be posting stories by Karen Healey, me, Sherwood Smith, Jaclyn Dolamore, and Tracy Lynn.)

I really hope you enjoy our project!

The December Lights Project.

---

*I know I hinted about it in my last entry, but hinting doesn't count as totally giving the secret away...does it?

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Several days ago, I started talking about the kind of story I really, really want to read right now, at this time of year, and Patrick had a brainstorm - a website we could put together just for December, inviting lots of other authors to join in. It would be a lot of work. But the thought of it filled me with excitement and new energy.

Tonight, by the time I'd finally gotten MrD to sleep, I was exhausted and cranky and in the mood to do absolutely nothing at all. But two authors had sent in stories for our project. It was only polite to read them straightaway... .

..and by the time I finished the first story, I was laughing out loud. By the time I'd finished reading the second one, I was in the BEST mood, happy and amused and excited all over again.

Sometimes, taking on an extra project turns out to be the best medicine for tiredness and stress, after all.

(Details - and the website link - to follow on December 1st!)

And also in the category of surprises...

On Saturday, Patrick and I went out to see the film of Harry Potter 7-1. This would be surprising enough on its own - it's the first film we've seen in a theater since Harry Potter 6! (And that left me REALLY nervous about this one, since I was really, really disappointed by the film of number 6. But still, I am a huge HP fangirl, and of course I wanted to give 7-1 a try.)

Luckily, a movie theater had opened in our town this spring, so we didn't have to drive 30 minutes to get out to The Big City to watch Harry Potter this time (unlike last year). It's a tiny little theater, and they made all of us wait outside in the snow until 10 minutes before the movie was due to start. We all huddled together, joking and bouncing up and down for warmth. (Well, I did. Patrick was just stoic.)

They finally let us in. We went into the small room, with the small screen, and sat down. The movie began. It was nothing like number 6. From the first scene onwards, I LOVED it. (And oh, I've always loved Hermione, but in this movie I ADORED her!)

I was totally gripped, totally absorbed -

- and then at the end of a particularly tense scene, just when all the kids were trapped, and there was no possible way for them to escape...

The lights went up. The screen showed a single word, in enormous letters: INTERMISSION

We all gaped. WHAT?! I beg your PARDON?!

"We should have driven the 30 minutes!" I snarled.

Then a man stepped to the front of the room...and he was carrying a whole box full of ice creams for sale. Well...I was, of course, still horrified, but as long as the movie had stopped anyway, I thought I might as well buy an ice cream. Just out of politeness, really.

It turns out I really, really love mint-chocolate cornettos, something I would never have discovered otherwise. (When I'm in a supermarket ice cream section, I tend to head straight for the Ben & Jerrys.) And by the time I had happily devoured my lovely cornetto, and the movie had begun again? I was pretty fond of the concept of an intermission after all.

What movie isn't EVEN BETTER with ice cream added?

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Over here, I'm in the midst of the oh-so-predictable-and-yet-unavoidable Crisis of Confidence that attacks me with every single novel at about this point. I'm about 2/3 of the way through; the climax will have to get started relatively soon; and yet again, my neuroses are wailing: It will never, ever work! What were you thinking? Quick, quick, throw it away and pretend you never even wanted to finish it!

Sigh. Sadly, the fact that I've gone through this many, many times before doesn't make the voices of fear sound any less persuasive. Ironically enough, this is the week that a beginning writer wrote to me through my website, asking for advice on how to combat self-doubt.

Well. The good thing about synchronicity like that is that it forces me to think about positive solutions instead of just wallowing in panic. So, I passed on the techniques I use, the ones that really do help me...at least when I remember to use them.

I think that beta readers for cheering-on (friends who read your chapters as you write them, say something positive and enthusiastic about them, and then yell: KEEP GOING!) (saving all critique for later, after the manuscript is safely finished) are the best inventions ever, worthy of mountains and mountains of really good chocolate.

I think it's a really good idea to remember that, as Jennifer Hubbard recently pointed out, nervousness about the quality of your work can actually be a good sign. When you're really putting your heart and soul on the line, it feels kind of like getting naked in public. What if people point and laugh? It's terrifying! Everything defensive inside us wants to shout: Put your clothes on quick, before anyone notices! But it's important not to listen to those voices (when it comes to writing, anyway).

Bribes are great - tangible rewards for doing the work (especially when they're chocolate!) really, really work for me.

And if you can find any self-help books that resonate for you, then for heaven's sake, use them! This was some of the best advice Octavia Butler gave us at Clarion West, all those years ago. She said that as writers, we face so much crushing self-doubt every day that we need all the help we can get, and self-help books are a great place to find it.

It was a real revelation to me to hear that from her. I'd grown up dismissing self-help books en masse, thinking that if I ever let myself read one, it would somehow mark me as weak or a wimp...but Octavia Butler was SO not a wimp. And I listened to her. The particular self-help writer she recommended, Wayne Dwyer, has never worked for me, but Julia Cameron's three Artist's Way books (The Artist's Way, Walking in This World, and Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance) have gotten me through a lot of bad moments as a writer.

...when I remember to use them, that is. Until I wrote that email, it hadn't even occurred to me that maybe I should pull them out. I'd been too busy giving in to the self-doubt on every front instead of trying to combat it.

This morning, I printed out the first 42,000 words of my dragon novel. I sat down to read through them and make a chapter map as I read, to keep track of how all the different plot and character arcs are moving together. Self-doubt and panic clutched at me as I read...but I forced myself to push them away, over and over again.

What about you guys? How do you deal with self-doubt (in writing or any other part of life)?

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I am not an organized person.

But the one advantage, this year, of celebrating Thanksgiving early is that I suddenly feel in a post-Thanksgiving mood...or in other words, being well-trained by the American shopping calendar, now that I've eaten my pecan pie, I keep finding myself oh-so-coincidentally thinking about Christmas.

I'm forcing myself NOT to listen to any Christmas music yet (Patrick and I have a long-standing deal: if, and ONLY if, I wait until December 1st, I can then listen to as much Christmas music as I want, and he won't complain!), but I have started browsing the internet for possible Christmas presents, in a somewhat casual way.

Well. I've now figured out why it's a bad idea for me to shop well ahead of time. It is DANGEROUS.

When I shop for Christmas presents halfway through December (or later), I'm filled with panic. I know I have to get it done NOWNOWNOW!!!! and if I don't do it fast enough, my family and friends won't get their presents in time. I am filled with guilt, a mission, and an intense focus on that goal.

Right now? It's not even the end of November. Every procrastinating bone in my body knows that I'm not in a hurry.

Guess how many possible gifts I've found in all my browsing through Etsy, Amazon, and Waterstones?

One. That's right, one. Which might, maybe, possibly work...but I'm honestly not too sure about that.

Now guess how many new items I've added to my personal "favorites" list on Etsy and my wishlist on Amazon?

Oh, let's just round it down to about, say...fifty.

Sigh.

I haven't actually bought myself anything. I haven't sunk that far. But oh, I am not proud of myself right now.

What about you guys? Do you do your holiday shopping safely ahead of time or at the last moment? (PLEASE don't tell me you've done it all already, wrapped it, and addressed your envelopes. I might just have to drink my body weight in hot chocolate out of sheer self-pity.)

(Although, actually, maybe I could cope with that. Hmm. Hot chocolate. Yum... ;p )

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Life feels very, very good during moments like these. :)

The downside of celebrating Thanksgiving in the UK, of course, is that most people have to work or go to school on Thanksgiving Thursday, so we have to be flexible with our dates. But oh, I love Thanksgiving far too much to give it up for such a puny reason. Every year since I moved to the UK, we've hosted a Thanksgiving celebration, and ever since we moved down to Wales, we've been able to invite relatives to share it.

This year, Patrick and I were so tired in the week leading up to it that we wondered whether or not we should cancel...but I'm so glad that we didn't. And we learned a great lesson, too:

We felt hugely embarrassed ahead of time that this year, for the first time, we wouldn't be doing "real" Thanksgiving cooking. Everything we served (except the pecan pie - and even there, I didn't make the pastry for the crust myself) was either store-bought (nice cheeses, salads, ciabattas that just needed heating up in the oven, frozen strudel, etc.) or insanely easy (the minestrone recipe from Nigella Express, which takes literally 5 minutes of effort). How un-Thanksgiving-y! How un-feastlike! How embarrassing! And yet...

...Actually? When we put it all together, it looked like a pretty good spread, not embarrassing at all. Everyone talked about how good it all tasted - and since they had seconds and thirds, I think they were being honest.

So...hmm. Maybe I will remember that lesson even in years when we have more energy. It's nice not to completely kill ourselves on the food-preparation front, actually, and save the energy for really enjoying Thanksgiving instead.

I've always loved Thanksgiving because it's the one holiday that isn't about giving gifts, but about appreciating what you have, especially the people you love and the people who love you. I'm feeling awfully thankful this year, even if I am several days early.

And the pecan pie really is delicious. :)

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"We're calling for Ms. [Burgis]."

"Yes?" I said.

There was a long, long pause. Then the woman said, very hesitantly, "Um...could you pass me to your mother, please?"

Oops. Have I mentioned that I'm 33 years old? I may not have the deepest of voices, but still, nobody has mistaken my voice for a child's in a long, long time. But ohhhh, the nasality of me right now...

This is one of the Terrifying Side-Effects of having a toddler that I hadn't realized I should expect. So far, he and I have had non-stop colds, one after another, ever since the first week of October. (Yes, I am keeping score.) I love MrD's friends and he loves playgroup, but please, please let us have some time off from the germs soon...

At least my cold has not taken away from the very most essential issues. Last night, Patrick and I pulled out our Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit game (yes, OF COURSE we own the LotR version of Trivial Pursuit! Is anyone really surprised?) for the first time in about two years. I haven't seen the films since before MrD was born. (Ohhh, the grand sacrifices I make for my child...but seriously, WHEN would I ever have 2-3 hours uninterrupted to watch a truly epic film? It hasn't happened so far.)

So in other words, my triumph was mighty when I won by a landslide, three rounds in a row! Unfortunately, Patrick then made up for it by beating me horribly this afternoon in our re-match (during MrD's nap)...but oh well. Maybe I can blame that one on the cold.

And in a major WHEW moment: Kirkus reviewed Kat, Incorrigible...and they liked it! (They called it "enjoyable mayhem", which made me laugh because it is pretty much the perfect capsule description of all of Kat's adventures, and also the perfect explanation for why they were so much fun for me to write.) If you're a Kirkus subscriber, you can read the review on Kirkus's website; if you're not, you can read the review on my website.

Or, of course, you can skip the review completely - even in my currently cold-ridden state, I still realize that not everyone in the world is obsessed with reading my industry reviews. (Bizarre!) But basically, I'm a very happy writer right now. Even if I am blowing my nose disgustingly throughout. ;)

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Then I sat down to read it yesterday, and WOW. Love, love, love. I cannot believe I never read it before - and I so wish I had read it as a kid! I'm already planning to push it at my 13-year-old niece and any other girls her age I can arm-twist into following my recommendations. Catherine's voice is SO strong, so engaging and so, so funny! She's grumpy and bad-tempered and contrary and AWESOME. I love her so, so much.

But OK, here's my one embarrassing personal confession - and a reminder of just how subjective my reading preferences really are. As I was reading this awesome, awesome book, which was honestly pretty much flawless in every way, I kept finding myself thinking, This is SO good...if only it had magic in it, it would be My Perfect Book!

And then I remembered that it wasn't meant to be a fantasy novel, and many people don't even want to read fantasy novels in the first place, and most importantly of all, Not Every Book Needs To Be A Fantasy even though I do love fantasy so much. And then I was properly chastened. But none of that stopped me laughing very, very hard at some of the scenes in the book and rooting Catherine on all the way.

(And also, in my heart of hearts, secretly imagining lots of awesome fan-fic where Catherine learns magic to help her deal with her obstreperous suitors, her abominable brothers, and her beast of a father. I feel terribly, terribly tempted to write some of it...if only I wasn't trying to finish the dragon book by the end of January AND write a commissioned short story by the end of next week, I would totally give in!)

And needless to say, Karen Cushman's other books have been put on my wish list to be devoured As Soon As Possible.

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Here is the site that made me giggle today despite my mood: Lady Mary Crawley tweets (which I'm guessing may be written by Julian Fellowes, the screenwriter - but I'd love to find out for sure, because the tweets are hilarious and perfect, and I admire their writer tremendously). If you are a Downton Abbey fanatic, like me, you must read this entire twitter stream, which starts in the middle of Season 1 and continues through the first year of World War One, well after the season's ending.

And oh, it is so funny...at least if you know the show. I can't swear that it would work at all otherwise, but it really saved my sanity today.

A couple of my favorite tweets:

Carson said, Mrs Patmore's holding a kitchen séance tomorrow - she produces a mass of ectoplasm I am told. Papa pushed away his egg posset.

and:

Granny had a ghastly incident with wet leaves when she was young & in a crinoline. It's why she never leaves Downton now. Shame...

Historically-based humor may have been my savior today, but for another part of our family, horses are always key... Here is the book trailer that MrD insisted on watching three times in a row because of the beautiful, beautiful horses (which took my breath away, too):

(Judith Tarr, aka Caitlin Brennan, was the writer who first made me fall in love with historical fantasy, back when I was a teen, and I so wish that she'd written this book when I was younger and full of my own [utterly hopeless, in East Lansing!] horse-girl fantasies...I'm still looking forward to reading it now, but I think I would have killed for it back then!)

And although these are way on the other end of the spectrum, COMPLETELY inappropriate for kids, I have to be honest for the sake of the adults reading this blog (or at least those who enjoy romance) and say that although I'm not a huge fan of paranormal romances in general, Nalini Singh's Psy-Changeling books have become total comfort books for me in situations like this. I got my pre-ordered copy of her most recent one earlier this week and have been re-reading the whole series ever since, because it really helps.

Yes, they are over-the-top in every way...but wow, do they work, and I really love how strong the heroines are, not to mention the pleasure of watching all of her characters (and the world itself) develop across the series. (I think she's gotten better and better as a writer, but I also think this is a series that needs to be read in strict order.) They're right up there with Georgette Heyer and PG Wodehouse for sheer comfort value for me nowadays.

What about you guys? What have you found lately that works well when you need distraction/comfort?

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I really, really wanted a new book. Just to make that clear. Like you couldn't have guessed already... ;)

Someday, I'll make it to the middle of the month before I spend my monthly book allowance, but this was not that month. I did at least hold out longer than usual this month, because I was planning to buy a book at Bristolcon, so I saved some of my money for that...but that plan turned out not be a smart one after all. Forbidden Planet was scheduled to run a dealer's table at the con, and since I looove visiting Bristol's branch of Forbidden Planet, I was really excited about it. I shot to the table as soon as I arrived at the con...

...aaand nothing. I mean, there was something - there were lots of somethings - there were two large tables absolutely covered with stacks of books! So I couldn't figure out, at first, why nothing was tempting me. And then I finally worked it out. Guess how many novels authored by women were on those tables? One. That's right, one: Diana Wynne Jones's latest book. Which I'd already read. So. It's not that there weren't any good books on that table - but I (like every other woman at the con) was certainly not the target audience for 99.9999% of them.

[ETA: As was very rightly pointed out in the comments, that makes it sound like men can't write books aimed at women. Oops. That's certainly not the case. What I should have said was: that particular selection of books was not aimed at women as an equal (or even significant) reading audience. I've been to the Forbidden Planet store in Bristol, and it's full of books by women as well as men, ranging from hard SF to urban fantasy and paranormal romance...but none of them were selected for their tables at the con.]

It was actually a really, really weird experience, one I've never had at any other con. There were a ton of women at the con. There were a ton of women on the con program. But you would never, ever guess that from looking at those tables full of books. Sigh.

This is not a complaint about the con, btw - the con itself was great. It was Forbidden Planet that made their own decisions about what to stock...and I wish they hadn't somehow missed the memo that women like cons too, nowadays. And I'm guessing they might have sold even more books if they'd tried to appeal to the women there as well as to the guys. As it was, I came home and used the last of my book money on an Amazon order Saturday night. Oh well.

I would have liked to hold out for my local Waterstones, but after an event that requires travel, like Bristolcon, the CFS always pays me back with several days of enforced rest, so online shopping is the only way to go if I want books to read while I'm stuck in bed or on the couch.

And speaking of which...since this is already a venting journal entry...here's my very last vent of the day (I promise!):

When we see someone taking the elevator for what seems like a puny distance, like a single floor, I know it might feel tempting to think "How lazy" and even to give them a dirty look. But as someone with an invisible illness - someone who can look totally, completely fine while feeling absolutely awful and barely being able to stand upright - I have to say that there is often a really, really good reason why people NEED to take the elevator for puny little distances. Sometimes stairs are physically impossible, even if you aren't on crutches. Even if you look totally normal.

And when people give me dirty looks as I do it...well, that takes a miserably ill day and makes it ten times worse. Because people who are sick in ways that aren't visibly obvious have enough reasons to feel bad about it without getting glared at. Right?

Thanks for letting me vent here, guys. I really, really appreciate it, and promise not to do it too often.

(PS: Some of you might recognize the tweet from today that sparked this last point, but truly, I'm not aiming it at any one person in particular. The attitude I'm writing about is really, really normal and widely-spread, which is why it comes up SO often. Most kind, smart people never think twice about assuming that they can tell whether or not someone is sick by how they look. That's exactly why it's so important to talk about it - so that good people can stop making that mistake.)

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Then tell me (either here or there), if you're a writer: what was the first novel you ever wrote? Or, if you're a reader: what's the first novel that really stuck with you forever?

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By the time I left BristolCon on Saturday to catch my train back to Wales, the sky was growing dark. As the train moved out of the station, even though it was only 5:10, blackness pressed against the windows.

The train came to a stop only a few minutes into the trip. It sat there, in the dark. A mumbled announcement sounded over the loudspeaker, too muffled for any of us to understand. And then it sat...and sat...and sat.

At first there was a lot of groaning (and a sudden flurry of conversation among strangers, as people asked, "Did you hear what they said? No? Can you believe this? I'm going to miss my connection if it takes too long!"). But then we all sighed and went about our business. As I heard one guy explain to his wife when he phoned her to let her know he'd be late, "I don't know where we are, or why we've stopped. It's so dark, I can't see anything outside."

And of course, having seen far, far too many episodes of Buffy, Torchwood, etc...I couldn't help thinking that it was the perfect setup for a horror show.

Obviously, some kind of monster had caused the train to stop. And I could just imagine how the camera would scan across the carriages, showing the commuters sighing, reading papers, typing on their laptops in the waiting carriages, even as the monster devoured the inhabitants of the connecting carriages, their screams unheard over the engine noise and the workings of the iPod headphones sitting in almost all of our ears...

Yup. There are definitely times when I regret the way my imagination has been shaped by my favorite genres!

Luckily, the train started up again twenty minutes later. I had to run for my connecting train in Newport, and I got stuck in a standing-room-only compartment next to a VERY drunk rugby fan on his way back from the Wales-Australia game...but that was the worst horror I had to experience that night.

And it was totally, totally worth it (even despite the game of "Cockney slang" that the drunk insisted everyone in the compartment play. Don't ask!).

BristolCon was lovely - small and warm and friendly, with great panels and a lot of interesting people. I especially loved Eugene Byrne's talk on the fantastical history of Bristol itself, which was fun and funny and also full of fascinatingly weird information. I got to be on a panel with really smart, interesting authors, artists and special-effects specialists, and I tried not to look too intimidated by my company. I actually really enjoyed doing my reading of A Most Improper Magick - the audience was so receptive and awesome, it was pure fun to read to them, without any of the nerves I've felt sometimes before. And the best part of the whole con was getting to finally meet lots of people I'd only known through livejournal and twitter until now.

And hey, despite that horror-movie setup, I didn't even get eaten by a monster on my way home, so...total score! ;)

How were your weekends? What were the highlights?

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Please send me good health vibes, everybody! I REALLY want to be at BristolCon tomorrow. And please send good thoughts for Patrick, who sadly won't be at BristolCon after all and is really disappointed about it. Wahh.

At least, in better news, we had a great time last night before the bug struck. In fact, in a nearly unprecedented move (we tried to remember the last time we'd done this and, shamefully, couldn't - it had been THAT long!), Patrick and I actually went out last night on an honest-to-God DATE. I put on lipstick for the first time in months, along with a swishy black dress and high heels (the first time I've worn those since February!); Patrick dressed up and looked as cool as a GQ cover model (OK, he's going to kill me for saying that, but really! I'm telling the truth here); and we went out for dinner All By Ourselves.

Of course, we then had to run home without any after-dinner coffee or desserts, because it was time to get MrD to bed...but still. It was a really awesome evening, and I really hope we manage another one soon.

And in other good news, my pre-ordered copy of Robin McKinley's Pegasus arrived! I've been saving it all week so that I can read it on the train to BristolCon tomorrow, but I couldn't help just peeking at the first few pages, and YUM. Robin McKinley has been one of my favorite writers in the world ever since I first read Beauty in middle school (and I wasted YEARS trying to write like her before realizing that that beautiful, dreamy style was not for me, alas). If you're curious, you can read the first three chapters of Pegasus here.

What about you guys? What books are you most looking forward to reading soon?

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Fifteen Authors in Fifteen Minutes

(The Invitation Guidelines: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who've influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.)

Here goes, in no particular order:

Elizabeth Peters (a.k.a. Barbara Michaels), JRR Tolkien, Mary Stewart, Emma Bull, Steven Brust, Charles De Lint, Charlotte Brontë, Jane Austen, Virginia Euwer Wolff, Georgette Heyer, Caroline Stevermer, Ellen Kushner, Delia Sherman, Robin McKinley, Patricia McKillip.

Whew!

(Those are all authors, btw, whose books I first read before I turned 18, because I figured that was most within the spirit of the meme.)

What about you guys? Who would you name (or, if you already have named them, would you mind pointing me toward your Facebook lists)? My eyes tend to skim over a lot of facebook memes, but I'm finding this one fascinating.

Three more days until BristolCon, and I'm getting really excited about it. It's been far too long since I've attended a con...and longer since I attended one without MrD. (Aack, I feel guilty even saying that! Bad mother! But...the truth is, it is REALLY hard to fully enjoy a convention - to manage any decent, uninterrupted conversations, much less attend panels, share meals, or browse happily through a Dealer's Room full of books - with a baby in your arms...and even harder with a toddler, as I discovered at EasterCon this spring. Luckily, MrD will be very lovingly looked after by a relative he adores on Saturday, so we'll all be happy.) I really, really cannot wait.

But on a less fun but very important note, I was glad to see Jim Hines publicly addressing the issue of sexual harassment at cons. The first con I ever went to was WorldCon, in 2001, a few weeks after I attended Clarion West. Patrick and I attended together, hanging out with some of our Clarion classmates and instructors, and one of our Clarion instructors, a very kind, generous and successful older woman, took me and the other women aside to give us a list of which male authors (some of them very successful, big names in the field) to carefully steer clear of - at the very least, to stay well out of pinching range. The list was of "pinchers", who thought it was totally normal and acceptable to pinch the butts of any young female authors they met.

I hated that this was still considered normal. I hated that when I had a conversation at the con with an editor who asked to see the novel I was working on, he spent most of the time staring at my chest, and I was left with the distinct impression that he was much less interested in my work than in my appearance. (I never ended up sending him that novel, btw.) I hated that so many guys there seemed to see female authors as eye-candy, not to be taken seriously - and that we were expected to smile nicely and put up with it.

That's one of the reasons I've always loved WisCon so much - no con or organization is perfect, and there may be incidents I've never heard of, but at least I've never experienced or heard of any sexual harassment at WisCon, and if it did happen, it certainly wouldn't be taken for granted in that atmosphere.

It's 2010 now, nine years after my first science fiction & fantasy convention, and while I was upset in 2001 that this stuff was still considered normal, I do at least find it heartening that people are speaking out about it in a more public way now, not just whispering warnings in private. It's the 21st century, and women writers, readers, and fans are going to cons to have fun talking about the work they love, not just to be eye-candy for anybody.

It's definitely not too soon.

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(This isn't because I don't like TV - it's just that for some reason, I have a harder time focusing on a TV show for an hour than focusing on a book or - my worst habit - endlessly surfing the internet during my free time.)

But! This weekend has completely broken that rule. Last night, MrD went to bed unusually early, and I was at loose ends. First, I tried out the pilot of "Warehouse 13", which was fun enough that I'll certainly watch more of it in the future...and then, with some skepticism (because I'd heard of mixed reviews, although I hadn't actually read any), I decided to give ITV's new period drama, "Downton Abbey", a try.

I fell headlong into love with it.

Is "Downton Abbey" out yet in America? We're 5 episodes into the first season in the UK - and although the pilot's no longer available online, I watched the other four episodes all within less than 18 hours, snatching every child-free moment I could find and ruthlessly ignoring everything else I should have been doing with that time.

"Downtown Abey" was created and written by the same screenwriter, Julian Fellowes, who wrote the screenplay of "Gosford Park", and I can only imagine that his brief was: Let's do Gosford Park as a full TV series! (Although it is set a bit earlier, I think, in the spring of 1914). And oh, it's wonderful - and wonderfully soap-opera-y, with every character (in the aristocratic family circle and the servant's hall alike) drawn in shades of gray and vibrant with secret drama.

The atmosphere is ripe with all the intricacies and injustices of different classes rubbing shoulders in a big Edwardian country house. It's jaw-droppingly beautiful to look at (ohhh, those Edwardian hats and gowns! oh, that gorgeous house!)...and of course with Maggie Smith playing the FABULOUS role of the awful Dowager Countess, it was almost guaranteed to be funny.

And in the episode I watched today, I was shocked by the moment of genuinely perfect romance. Oh, Mr. Bates! Oh, Anna! Oh, how I love you both! And oh, how I love that the real, true romance is happening not between two of the pretty, shiny, white-toothed aristocrats but between a middle-aged valet and a housemaid in her late twenties.

But I also love wonderful, generous suffragette Lady Sybille, wannabe typist (but current housemaid) Gwen, perfect butler Mr Carson (with his very carefully-hidden past)...it's all just delicious. Period drama chocolate!

And now I'll stop burbling...but I can't wait for the next episode to arrive online for me to watch tomorrow.

What about you guys? Do you have a favorite period-drama TV series? If not, what else is your favorite kind of TV?

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Two nights ago, I tried to turn on the Kindle so that I could download free sample chapters from various books I was curious about on Amazon.co.uk. The Kindle didn't start. Instead, I got a big, flashing empty-battery sign. Wahhhh! I hunted down the power cord, plugged it in...and had to wait all of ten minutes until I could use it again. Those ten minutes felt like an eternity. I felt betrayed, bereft...

...and yes, I finally realized that I am addicted to our Kindle - and not just for reading manuscripts, either. Oops. I still prefer to read paper books (and if I really LOVE a book, then I absolutely have to have it in paper so that I can count on still having it twenty years from now, even if Amazon has gone out of business in the meantime)...but I really, truly do love having a Kindle anyway.

One of the dangerous parts of having a Kindle, though, is how tempting it is to hit "Buy this book" after reading a free sample. (And I do love the fact that you can freely read the first chapter of any book that's available on Kindle - I do that now even for books I plan to buy in paper, just so I can find out whether I really want them. Free excerpts = online shopping bliss.) Sadly, not only have I used up this month's book money, but we're pretty broke at the moment anyway, so I'm resisting with all my might...

...Which makes today the perfect day to play my favorite Fantasy Shopping game. The questions are: what would you buy if you had £50, £100, or £1000, and you were absolutely required to spend the money on your own pleasure? This game always makes me feel better when I'm stuck in bed, bored and restless, and too broke to shop in real life. So here we go:

If I had £50, I'd buy: LOTS of books! There are sooooo many books I'm yearning for right now...but right now, at this moment, I would use the £50 to buy: Coronets and Steel by Sherwood Smith; The Bones of Avalon, by Phil Rickman; Out for Blood by Alyxanda Harvey; The Enchantment Emporium, by Tanya Huff; The Native Star by M.K. Hobson; Enchanted Ivy, by Sarah Beth Durst; and Flash Burnout, by L.K. Madigan.

If I had £100, I'd buy: everything already listed, plus this purse (in fabulously vegetarian pseudo-leather), PLUS this necklace AND Shelf Discovery: the Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading, by Lizzie Skurnick.

If I had £1000, I'd buy all of the above, plus this quilt, these fingerless gloves, plus, oh heck why not, an iPad, and...wow. Actually, I'm out of ideas for the last £310. Huh. I guess I'd probably blow them on an extravagant clothes-shopping spree, or else - more practically - hoard them so that for the next several months I could buy whatever books caught my eye at any given moment, no matter what they cost (bwaaahahaha!).

Ahhhh. The best thing about playing this is that now I feel wonderfully decadent, as if I really had bought all those things...but our bank account remains unaffected. The perfect combination!

What about you guys? What would you buy with your Fantasy Shopping money today?

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Today I'm feeling flattened, of course - because of the M.E./CFS, every time I do an event, I have to spend the next day mostly lying down - but I really had a great day in Newport, and it was a really, really stimulating day, too. I got there too late for Jasper Fforde's talk, unfortunately (wahhh! I love the Thursday Next books), but I got to meet so many writers from genres I don't normally read, and my TBR list has just expanded exponentially.

Trisha Ashley, who writes contemporary British romantic comedies, was so warm and sweet and friendly that I can't wait to try out her books; Phil Rickman was so thoughtful and smart as an interviewer (the radio interview I did was for his show, Phil the Shelf) that when I got home I looked him up online and then realized (duh!) he's also a bestselling crime writer, and his books look fantastic. I downloaded a sample chapter of his historical mystery, The Bones of Avalon (an Elizabethan mystery from the POV of John Dee), onto my Kindle before bed and I loved it - it went straight onto my personal wish list.

I also got to listen to Jon Mayhew being interviewed about his Victorian horror novel for kids, Mortlock, and not only does the book sound incredibly creepy and great, but Jon turns out to be an excellent singer, too (he picked up a guitar and sang a really gruesome old ballad related to the novel); and Catrin Collier told such fascinating stories about the historical background of her novel Magda's Daughter that I really want to read it now, even though I've never been a fan of sagas.

And in a very cool coincidence, I was just in the middle of buying a souvenir for MrD from the Waterstones table - the fabulous Elephant, by Petr Horáçek, which I picked out because it's smart and very funny and I knew MrD would love it - when I was assigned a partner for my signing table...and it turned out that I was seated right next to Petr Horáçek! So it was very easy to get MrD's book signed, and I had a great conversation with Petr about our experiences as expatriates.

Today I'm back to normal life (albeit slower than usual, because it's a rest day), listening to OperaBabes on my computer and hoping to get to the library ASAP to pick up a whole bunch of new books.

What about you guys? Have you ever picked up a book you wouldn't have thought of otherwise just because you've met the author? Or alternately - which books have you liked even though they're not in the sort of genre you usually read?

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I have sooooooooo much more to say about worldbuilding - and so many more writing exercises I want to lead - than I could ever, ever fit into five worldbuilding classes, much less one session of fifty minutes! (Don't worry, though - I'm not going to spew all my worldbuilding theories out here in the Never-Ending, Epic Blog Entry of Death. I will nobly resist, because I love you guys.)

At first this problem felt particularly weird to me because the truth is, I find world-building really difficult. I have to work really hard on it in my own writing, and it's the part I keep tweaking long into final-final-final draft territory of every story or novel, because I always think Wait, I can still do that better!

Characters and dialogue come pretty easily to me, so you'd think those would be the things I'd have more to say about, right? But actually...no. It turns out, the subject I could talk about forever is the part of writing that I find personally most difficult...which means the part that I've had to put lots and lots of time into working on and thinking about.

It's kind of like foreign-language teachers. I had one German professor in college who was funny and smart and a great person to know...but she wasn't such a great teacher, because she was a native speaker, and when students asked "Why does [X] work that way?" she tended to get a deer-in-headlights expression and say: "Well...because otherwise it would sound weird. Can't you see that?"

No. We really couldn't see that, as native English-speakers. But German was so natural to her that she couldn't explain it from any other perspective. On the other hand, the German professor that EVERYONE wanted to study with was an American guy with no German family, no native-speaking credentials...but a wonderful ability to help other native-English-speakers learn German. He'd had to figure out the language himself, so he knew how it was done...and that made him a much, much better teacher.

Of course, I have no idea whether I'll be a good teacher of world-building skills - but it's been interesting to sit down and realize just how many tricks and thoughts and (strong!) opinions I've developed about world-building over the years without ever realizing it until now.

And working on the presentation was a really, really good distraction for me after the phone call I got this morning, setting up my very first radio interview, which we'll be recording after my workshop tomorrow afternoon. EEP. On the one hand, there is a very big part of me that is leaping up and down in amazement, thinking about how insanely cool it is, and wishing I could tell my sixteen-year-old self that someday, I would do an author interview on BBC WALES, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

But on the other hand, there's an equally big part of me that is terrified witless and convinced that when it comes to the moment of truth, I will panic and start speaking in tongues because I will forget every language I have ever learned. So it's good to have something else to think about, in the meantime.

And here's where I need to ask for help: I want to give the kids tomorrow a list of children's books (ETA: they can be either MG or YA) that do world-building really, really well. They can be fantasy novels or they can be historical novels - either genre works fine for me. Which books would you guys recommend?

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It probably says something weird about me that I'm deeply tempted to set down the computer and watch the TV show with him. But then, I did grow up in a family devoted to the arcane pleasures of watching the cheesiest, most intentionally camp bad movies ever - for example, as kids, my brothers and I adored Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death and The Return of the Killer Tomatoes, and even as an adult, I used to pull those two movies out again and again as comfort viewing when I really, really needed them (like, at the end of final exams week)...

Am I alone? Or do any of you guys share my weird enjoyment of silly, camp bad movies?

I have to announce one piece of important book news and two upcoming events - but if you don't live in the UK, you can feel free to just skip the next five paragraphs, okay? You can come back and find me at the bottom of the entry, underneath the asterisks...

The big piece of news is: A Most Improper Magick is now available not only in paperback but also as an eBook in the UK! You can order it for the Kindle on Amazon.co.uk, and it should be up on Waterstones.com for Sony Readers soon, too. My understanding is that my publishers are also making it generally available in ePub format, which should be fine for iTouches and iPads as well, but I'm afraid I don't actually know where else you would look for it apart from those two big bookseller sites...can anyone tell me which UK sites you use for buying ebooks, apart from Amazon and Waterstones?

(Meanwhile, being a big dork, I of course downloaded a sample of my own book onto our Kindle. I had to! I couldn't resist!)

And I have two upcoming events, one in Newport, Wales, and one in Bristol, England. The first is this Wednesday, October 27th: Big Read Day at the River Front Theatre in Newport, where I'll be leading a writing workshop for kids aged ten and up, focusing on worldbuilding. I'm really, really looking forward to this! I'll also be signing books at the Waterstones table sometime between 1-2pm. You can check out the programs for both adults' and kids' activities and also download a booking form through the Newport City Library website.

The second event is BristolCon, just two weeks from today! I am ridiculously excited about this, because I have been just sick with con-hunger for months now. I love, love, love f/sf conventions, and I haven't been to any since EasterCon, though I've spent a lot of time sighing enviously over other people's con descriptions in the meantime. Bristolcon is a one-day event on Saturday, November 6th, and you can check out the full program here. I'll be on the "Visualising Fabulous Worlds" panel at 3:00 (with Joe Abercrombie, Kim Lakin-Smith, Mike Tucker, Andy Bigwood, and Roz Clarke), I'll give a short reading at 3:50, and I'll also sign books earlier, between 1-1:50pm. (Forbidden Planet is going to have a dealer's table at the con and will have my book in stock.)

I'm thrilled to have a con so close (only an hour's drive from home!)...and I'm also, of course, deeply frustrated because I just can't justify staying for the entire evening - MrD's bedtime is at 7pm, and we're still at the stage where I need to be around for it. Wahhh! I could give a pretty good impression of a toddler tantrum, myself, at the frustration of it all. Still, I'll be around for as much of the day as possible, and would love to meet people there!

***

OK. News and events announcements are over, we're back to normal...

...and Patrick just turned his computer around to show off a particularly, egregiously bad special effect. WOW. I may have to give up and watch the rest of that TV show after all...

Do you guys have any favorite bad movies? Confess: are there any really camp, totally silly, or even outright dire films that you just can't help loving anyway?

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Patrick had a really good idea. He'd found out about this very beautiful, private piece of ancient woodland within the Forest of Dean: Puzzlewood, which has been used by the BBC to film lots of (literally) magical woodland scenes in Merlin and in Doctor Who. There's also an associated petting farm for kids. Put together, it sounded like a perfect family trip.

Well, I thought, it really was too bad that we weren't going to get any writing done today, but since we couldn't do what we really wanted, that sounded like a pretty good consolation plan.

I was so, so wrong. It wasn't just a good consolation plan. It was The Coolest Morning Ever...and yes, it really was a hundred times better than the writing session we'd had planned.

As we paid our entrance fee, I'd spotted a sign that read: "Many believe Puzzlewood was the inspiration for the fabled forests of Middle Earth". Ha, I thought. Nice tourist line, but really...

Then I stepped into the Puzzlewood, and OMG. I was in Fangorn Forest.

I have no idea whether JRR Tolkien really found his inspiration in the Puzzlewood - my guess is that he built his woods from all the different woodlands he visited over the years - but I can honestly say that I have NEVER been in any woodland that felt so magical and so resonant of Fangorn Forest in my life...and I would have immediately thought "Fangorn" even if I hadn't seen that tourist sign. It really, truly felt like walking into Middle Earth.

And oh, was it inspirational for me! From the moment that we walked in, I was buzzing with excitement and an incredible feeling of bubbling creativity just waiting to be let out. The atmosphere was so - oh, I know I keep repeating the word "magical", but really, it was inescapable. Walking through the Puzzlewood, past its weird rock formations and cliffs covered by emerald-green moss, its ancient trees towering over us in the weird green half-light you only find in forests...it reminded me all over again of why I am a fantasy writer.

We were there as a family, and everyone in the family loved it. If we had let him, MrD would have stayed all day to scramble up the rocks and crunch through the leaves. I loved watching his joy - getting to experience the Puzzlewood with him made it a thousand times more rich and vivid than it would have been on my own.

But at the same time, I also kept wishing I had thought to bring a notebook - because it would be a perfect place to sit and write. And I really, really want to set a story there now.

On our way out, we stopped back at the ticket office and upgraded our tickets to annual passes, so we can go back as often as we want. I hope that we'll be doing that a LOT...and even though we missed today's writing session, I know that tomorrow's will be better because we went to the Puzzlewood today.

What about you guys? Where do you go when you want to fill up the creative well and get inspired?

***

ETA: You can find more photos of the Puzzlewood, including pics of MrD, on Patrick's blog.

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Halfway through our time there, after Patrick and MrD had spent ages clambering around the bridges and all the other obstacle courses that had filled me with so much panic, Patrick said (on his way to race back for more): "I’m not surprised there are so many dads here. This is great!"

And in fact, he was right. The big challenging-play station was almost completely full of dads with their children, all laughing and shouting with total happiness, while the moms drank tea and gossiped on the couches nearby.

Mostly, Patrick and I try not to let ourselves fall into traditional gender roles, especially in front of MrD. But I have to admit, I felt perfectly comfortable with this one. And the tea wasn't too bad, either. ;)

***

Maybe it's just symptomatic of getting over a bad cold - everything suddenly looks brighter! - but life is feeling kind of astonishingly good right now. I found out last night that our local library system has (multiple copies of!) Kat, and seeing them listed in the library catalogue (especially since half the copies were already checked out!) was such an amazing feeling - it actually made me tear up with joy.

I guess on a sensible, professional level, I should be more excited about bookstores than libraries, since book sales are what pay for my food and drink - but the truth is, I practically grew up in the East Lansing public library. It was like a treasure trove that was always, always open and welcoming to me, introducing me to a whole world of books. My book-loving parents took me there at least a couple of times a week when I was a kid, until I was old enough to start trekking there almost every day on my own. Then when I was in college, first the Oberlin public library and then the Pittsburgh Carnegie library kept me sane through all the stresses of conservatory studies, academia, and a painful relationship break-up.

In other words, libraries are pretty much my favorite places in the world, even beating out castles and coffeeshops (which is saying a LOT). This afternoon, MrD and Patrick and I are heading out to our own local library, and I cannot wait to see my book there. (But I have vowed NOT to check my own book out, no matter how great the temptation. That would Just Be Silly.)

And in other news...

I'm kind of scared to talk about the dragon book right now, because it's going so well that I'm afraid of jinxing myself. Mostly, I'm just so happy to be back to the kind of writing routine I remember from before MrD was born, the kind that I'd been worried I would never find again. For the last two years I've been aiming for 500 words per writing session; now I'm aiming for 1,000 words per session and surpassing my goal most days.

It feels almost too good to be true, but I think - hope - that this might be a sign of what it's going to be like now that he's getting older and I'm getting more of myself back again. Maybe?

Knocking on wood like crazy...

What about you guys? Have you had any nice surprises lately? And if you have children, how long did it take you to get back to your old rates of writing productivity?

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But some days? Some days - like yesterday - I'm reminded that I don't just like living here. I really, really LOVE it, and this is why:

Castles are scattered all throughout Wales, and within fifteen minutes' drive of our house, there are two. This one is Raglan Castle, which might just be my favorite castle in the world. Yesterday, we drove out there with MrD and had the most amazing morning running around the castle, exploring every inch of it. All three of us had so much fun.

The sad thing is, though, yesterday was the first time we'd visited Raglan Castle in almost a year. Why? Why on earth did we wait so long between trips? It's not even expensive to get in - Welsh heritage prices are totally reasonable, and if we went often enough, we could buy a family membership for even more of a discount. But somehow, we've gone a year between trips, for no better reason than general apathy. It's just too easy to spend our weekends mooching around the house or going to the same coffeeshop in town every time we go out. Sadly, Patrick and I really are creatures of habit...and sometimes the comfortable grooves we fall into aren't actually the ones we most want.

Yesterday, though, we broke our usual habits - and I'm so glad we did. The sun was shining. It was a cold but brilliantly clear autumn day. My usual castle joy was maximized by a thousand percent because I got to share it with Patrick AND with MrD, who's old enough to love castles, too. As we drove home (carrying, yes, a whole load of castle-related paraphenalia from the attached giftshop), Patrick and I swore to each other that we won't let it go another year before we come back. We're going to try to break our old habits and make at least one cool family trip every weekend, whether it's to a castle or a forest or a museum.

I don't know if we'll manage our goal every single week. Sometimes we'll feel too tired. Sometimes it'll be raining. Sometimes we probably just won't feel like it. But I really hope we will, most of the time.

What about you guys? What do you wish you could remember to do more often?

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We drove to the ugliest town in our area, headed for the enormous concrete block of a shopping mall, and shopped for childrens' clothes. Because we needed them, and yesterday was the only day that would work for our schedule.

Sigh. At least we counted horses outside the windows as we drove...and we swore up and down that we WILL do something nice next time we have a day off in beautiful weather. (Which - based on the weather forecast - may not be for a while.)

I remember when I was a kid I told my mom: "When I grow up, I'm going to have a cookie jar on top of the fridge. And it will ALWAYS BE FULL!"

Then I grew up...and guess what? No cookie jar, and I almost never make cookies. I did keep packages of chocolate cookies from the supermarket in our cupboard for a while, as fallback for bad days or to offer to guests...but then I looked at the ingredients a couple weeks ago and saw that they have palm oil in them, which is a very bad thing. Bah. So now I don't even keep store-made cookies in the house.

Adulthood, what other disillusionments can you bring me?

What did you guys think you would do when you were adults, that turned out NOT to be the case? And has anything about adulthood turned out to be an improvement on what you expected? For me, I'd say...erm...coffee. Yup. That would be it. I hated the taste of coffee as a kid, but it turned out to taste like ambrosia as an adult. What about you guys?

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I had no idea it would be Awesome.

Class 1J at Monmouth Boys' School was just incredible. All eleven- and twelve-year-olds, they had visited my website before I came. Their homework assignment had been to think up good questions to ask me - and WOW, had they succeeded.

I talked for less than 10 minutes about how I became a professional writer, and then, before moving on the next part of my talk, I asked if anyone had any questions. We finally had to cut off the questions because class was ending, even though there were so many hands still sticking up and waving in the air. And I was so disappointed to have to stop! The questions were really interesting, and the enthusiasm and energy of the kids was infectious.

I loved their total engagement, their enthusiasm about books and reading, and their intense curiosity. Afterwards, I signed books and chatted with all the boys who had stayed to talk, and the librarians invited me to stay on and wait until lunch break so the boys would have more time with me. I was really, really happy to agree...and I ended up having fabulous conversations about writing and books with a whole range of boys of different ages, all smart and earnest and passionate about fiction - and mostly fantasy fiction, which of course made me very happy.

(One twelve-year-old said, "I can't imagine that anyone wouldn't like magic books," and I thought ME NEITHER! Of course I know that some people genuinely don't...but I'm afraid I still can't understand that, to be honest.)

I had such a wonderful time...and talking to 1J reminded me of why I write books for exactly that age group. They were so smart, so eager to learn, so creative and interesting and open-minded...they just blew me away. I came home full of energy and excitement.

Today I am so, so happy to be writing for kids. And I feel so lucky to be able to have the kind of conversations I had today, which reminded me all over again about just why books are so important and so amazing.

All the kids I talked to today thanked me for coming to see them. But really, I just wanted to thank them.

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Today, I was so, so grateful to be part of the second group. Because here's the thing: the majority of the moms who go to my local park are VERY well-groomed. They wear perfectly accessorized and fashionable clothing that somehow stays completely clean despite the presence of their toddlers. Their hair is beautifully styled. They almost always wear make-up. Before I take MrD to the park, every single time, I have to stop, take a deep breath, check for stains on my clothes, and in all other ways make sure that my outfit is, at least, not too embarrassing (because let's be honest, "not too embarrassing" is as good as it gets - I clearly won't look AS nice as any of the other moms, since I am a battered-jeans-and-no-makeup kind of woman).

I know when I've failed, because...well, you know that way some women can look at other women? That long, slow, analyzing sweep, followed by a wrinkled brow, a quiet sigh, and a polite turning-away? Yeah. I have gotten that at our park, multiple times. It's why I make the attempt at a decent appearance, nowadays, even on the days when I'm feeling most drained and unmotivated and CFS-y.

Today, though? It was just a lost cause. MrD was horribly sick all through Friday and Saturday, and then I got his stomach flu Sunday night (at just the same time that MrD developed a follow-on fever - Patrick did NOT have a fun night, between the two of us!). This morning I'm just starting to shakily come back to normal, where "normal" means that the world is still spinning around me, but my at least stomach's finally okay...which is a huge blessing, since it looks like Patrick is now coming down with the Stomach Flu O'Doom.

Luckily, MrD is back to full health, and went off very happily to play with his childminder this morning...but Maya was still here and still needed a walk, no matter how I was feeling (and Patrick, by then, was way too sick to do it). So I heaved myself up from the couch, zipped up the ragged old fleece I'd had wrapped around me for comfort, started for the door - and then thought: Wait. What do I look like?

Well. Sadly, that had an easy answer: AWFUL! Quite traditionally zombie-like, actually. All you'd need to do is paint a bit of fake blood down my chin to let me take part as an extra in Shaun of the Dead. I did brush my hair. But I don't think it did much good.

I had a moment of dread and horror. And then I remembered: Thank goodness. I'm a dog person today!

Maya and I went to the park. She bounced ahead, tail spinning, while I staggered in a zombie-like fashion behind her. We didn't go anywhere near the playground, where appearance actually matters. Instead, we stayed in the field, which was full of dogs and other women in battered, mud-flecked jeans and hooded sweatshirts that had seen better days many years ago. I chatted with several other dog-owners (from what I hoped was a non-contagious distance), none of whom batted an eyelid at my horrifying appearance. Maya zoomed around the field with her friends.

I love being a mom, and I love the friends I've made among other moms since having MrD. But when I'm at the park? Sometimes I am so, so relieved to be a dog person, instead.

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Sigh.

Luckily, we have a good landlady. A plumber came out this morning, diagnosed the problem, explained that fixing it requires a part he doesn't have in stock...but he'll come back on Monday to make it all better.

I'm trying to look on the bright side. So: maybe the sound of quiet but persistent dripping during the party tomorrow will distract the guests from any leftover mess in the house? Because we are starting to face the fact that our utopian dreams of what the house would be like by tomorrow are coming to sound just a teeny bit unrealistic...

In less anxiety-wracked news, I've just finished a book that filled me with crazy love: Ilona Andrews's Bayou Moon. It's the second in her "Edge" series of rural fantasies for adults (both involving strong romances along with the fantasy adventure), and I've talked before about how much I loved the first one, On the Edge. From the moment I first read On the Edge last year, I was desperately impatient to read Bayou Moon. I pre-ordered it months ahead of time, I re-read On the Edge last month in preparation...

...and it was even better than I'd hoped. Honestly, it just felt like it was written exactly for me. An exciting, imaginative and non-clichéd fantasy adventure, set in a really fabulous alternate version of the contemporary American South, with sparky family dynamics, real emotional depth, a great sense of humor, and a really delightful romance? I was SO sold. The subtitle in my edition could truthfully have read: Steph's kind of book. So buy me already, you idiot!

Structurally, it was even stronger than the first book in the series, and it could definitely stand alone...but it's even more fun after having read On the Edge.

(I also just want to add that you don't need to be a fan of Andrews's Kate Daniels series to like this one. I tried the first in that series after first reading On the Edge, and bounced off it just because I'm not really a fan of gritty, noir fiction, even in fantasy...but I ADORE the Edge books, as you guys can tell.)

What about you guys? What books have made you happiest recently? Are there any so cool that they might even be able to distract you from unnerving dripping noises in the next room and a Sense of Impending Doom?

ETA: Agh. Impending Doom was right - MrD now has his first-ever stomach flu. :( Any suggestions for fun, distracting books will now be even more gratefully appreciated!

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Tricia and I first got to know each other as transplanted Americans, both writers living in the UK and partnered to British men. It can feel kind of like a badge of recognition, actually, or an exclusive club, when you’re an ex-pat and you meet someone else from your home country.

(Except when it’s AWFUL, of course, like when I had to sit through a 3-hour careers workshop at the University of Leeds where one of the other doctoral students was American, aggressive, and absolutely determined to make it clear that everything about America was better...

Read the full entry here - and if you leave a comment over there, you'll be entered to win not just a copy of A Most Improper Magick but also a bar of Divine dark chocolate. Mmmm! My favorite kind of contest. :)

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Of course, that was before we missed our connection in Newport (Wales) and ended up spending an extra hour there...sigh. The Newport train station is NOT the place to be stuck for an hour, especially on a Saturday, when all the shops in the station are closed. Luckily, there was one open café where we sat for most of the hour. I listened to Anna Netrebko sing Russian opera arias on my iTouch and read Jim Hines's Red Hood's Revenge (fun adventure fantasy with an all-female cast of heroes)...so in other words, it was not all bad. But still, my list of Cool Things To Do got a whole lot shorter when I realized that we actually had less than 3 hours in the city.

Oops.

At least that gives us a good excuse to go back again SOON.

And of course it was wonderful anyway. It was Bath! Here are some of the things I saw as we walked through town:

I always love the winding streets:

Of course I had to walk past the Pump Room, where Kat gets into an awful lot of trouble in Kat Book 2, A Tangle of Magicks:

The whole city was full of lions, but this one was my favorite:

And OF COURSE I couldn't miss a stop at the Jane Austen Centre, my favorite museum anywhere:

(Yesterday was the last day of the Jane Austen festival, which meant that there were people walking through the streets wearing Regency clothing. I really yearned for some of those dresses - so beautiful! And I really wanted to take photos of some of the best, but was afraid it would be too rude to come up and snap pictures of strangers just for their clothing. I figured it was OK to take a photo of the Jane Austen Centre itself, though, whether or not people in Regency-wear were standing in front of it.)

And yesterday, for the first time ever, we went to the Jane Austen Centre's Regency tea Room. Mmm! Like many coffeeshops, it had paintings for sale on the walls...but the painting that hung over our table was an actual Regency-era painting, on sale for £3,300. And gorgeous! The toasted teacake was pretty awful, to be honest, but the brie & cranberry sandwich was yummy, and the Jane Austen-blend tea (supposedly based on a typical Regency-era blend) was DELICIOUS! I bought a bag of tealeaves to take home with us, so now as I write my dragon novel I can drink it and be inspired. (Or at least have a really nice drink!)

Add in a trip to the HUGE Bath branch of Waterstones, a really nice coffee date with Jayne from Templar, and the coolness of getting to meet some of the organizers of the Bath Children's Literary Festival (one of whom had already read A Most Improper Magick / Kat, Incorrigible, back when it was still called Kat by Moonlight!), and it was a really awesome afternoon...which convinced me all over again that we NEED to go back for a full week or at least a full weekend.

What about you guys? If you could fly to any major city in the world for a spur-of-the-moment weekend, which one would it be?

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I guess this is part of why I naturally gravitate toward writing series rather than standalone books. (Well, that and also the fact that series books are always, always my favorite books to read.)

As I write my dragon book, too, I'm reminded of what a great feeling it is to write Book One in a series. This is a difficult thing to talk about well, because I'm afraid of short-changing my other books.

The thing is, I absolutely loved writing Kat Books Two and Three (A Tangle of Magicks and A Reckless Magick). I wrote most of A Tangle of Magicks before I'd even sold the series or had any sales in sight - I wrote it knowing that it was a crazy thing to do, that the smart thing would be to write something totally different, which I could market even if A Most Improper Magick (Kat, Incorrigible) didn't sell. But I loved Kat and her sisters way too much to stop writing about them after just one book, especially when I knew how much fun their next adventures would be. Tangle and Reckless were both books of my heart every bits as much as AMIM was, in every way.

But, but, but...here's the other thing. Later books in a series are HARD. Hard in a way that Book One just never is. In Book One, you're leaping off a cliff. It's easy to fall. But in the next few books (especially when you have an overarching arc, like I do in the Kat books), you have to figure out how to land safely, without breaking any bones...and that's much more difficult. You have to follow all the rules that were set up in Book One, even when they bring difficulties with them that you never foresaw. You have to make each book work on its own even as it builds on every earlier book in the series.

It's difficult and fascinating and challenging work...and it is not-so-coincidental that every book in the Kat trilogy took me longer to write as I progressed. I finished the first draft of Book One in 4 months, Book Two in 8 months, and Book 3 in, er, um...I think it was 14 months? (That one had the added complication of having a new baby in the mix.)

With Book One, the opening that first occurred to me is the same one that's still in the final version, despite many layers of rewriting. For Book Two, I wrote three completely different openings before I found the one that worked. With Book Three, it took me five tries (of about 50 pages each!) before I got it right.

I loved writing those books, I put everything I had into them, and I really, really hope that each of them is better than the last (and so far, that is the feedback that I've gotten for them, thank God)...

...but I have to admit that, now that I'm writing my dragon book, I am really enjoying how much easier it is to be back in Book One mode again. It feels like flying...which, I guess, is only appropriate.

As readers, what are your favorite book series?

Here are some of mine: in kids' fiction, Hilary McKay's Casson Family series (which has a new book coming out next year, woooot!), Caroline Stevermer and Patricia Wrede's Sorcery and Cecilia series and also Caroline Stevermer's Magics series; in adult SF and fantasy, Lois McMaster Bujold's Chalion series (starting with The Curse of Chalion) and her Miles Vorkosigan series (especially Barrayar and A Civil Campaign); in adult romance fiction, Nora Roberts's Bride quartet, Julia Quinn's Bridgerton series (except for Book 1, which I threw against a wall), and Eloisa James's Duchesses series.

What about you guys?

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Second of all, if you're a fan of adult SF novels, there's another great giveaway on LiveJournal right now: Tricia Sullivan (a Clarke-award winner and incredible writer as well as a fun, smart, generous person who's been an amazing friend to me) is giving away a copy of her upcoming book Lightborn. All you have to do is comment on her competition entry to enter the giveaway. You can also read the first five chapters of Lightborn on her website. I'm not entering this giveaway myself only because I've already pre-ordered the book - I can't wait to read it!

(And when I say "amazing friend", I really mean it - this is the same woman who insisted on driving two hours each way to help us clean our house for the move this spring - and then came back and did it again, two months later, because she knew how much I was struggling with CFS at the time. Yeah. That's serious friendship. And when you add on the fact that she can make me laugh like crazy even when I'm in a really bad mood...well. Amazing is definitely the word for it!)

Third, our Kindle has finally arrived, hooray! Patrick's already posted a write-up about it which I agree with on all points, but by far my favorite thing about the Kindle is that it's SO much easier to read MS Word documents on it than on any other electronic device I've ever tried. I felt such an enormous wave of relief when I called up a Word doc on screen - not only was it readable, it was actually EASY to read. It didn't hurt my eyes or my head. Every single person I owe a critique to is going to be grateful to my Kindle! ;)

I can't imagine ever preferring to buy books on the Kindle rather than on paper, especially because the prices are so similar - about 30p difference in most cases, and having the real paper book in my hands (which I can still have and re-read in 50 years, long after my Kindle has died and Amazon has gone out of business) is definitely worth that added 30p - but for reading electronic documents, it's an absolute life-saver.

Or at least it will be as soon as Patrick and I stop wrestling over it... ;) (We're waiting to get a second Kindle until we find out whether the enchantment lasts - but in the meantime, we BOTH want to play with it NOW!)

What about you guys? What have been the highlights of your week?

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(You can buy the poster here, as I am terribly tempted to do myself.)

Today is very much a pajama day, at least in metaphorical terms (yes, I did get dressed this morning, honestly), because poor MrD has a Cold Of Doom, which means that none of us got much sleep last night. This morning, I have thought of many, many productive things to do! I have made mental lists! And I have...well, I have drunk a lot of tea while thinking about doing those productive things. But I will do them soon. Really. Almost definitely, in fact...er...

Quickly! Change the subject!

We got back Sunday night from a lovely weekend away with relatives. MrD got to play with his cousin "Colonel Fitzwilliam", and Patrick and I got to hang out with the Colonel's parents in jawdroppingly gorgeous surroundings. They live in a beautiful cabin that they've built themselves in rural Wales, surrounded by incredible views on all sides as well as lots of fun animals for the kids to play with. I came to terms many years ago with the fact that, like it or not, I'm essentially urban - the town we live in now, with its multiple coffeeshops and bookstores, is as small and remote a place as I could ever happily live in - but even I was genuinely in love with the area by the end of our visit.

So now I have one more fantasy to add to my list of "perfect future world" accessories: a cabin in rural Wales for weekend retreats. Mmmm....

What about you guys? If you could have a little fantasy retreat somewhere, where would it be? A cabin in Montana? An apartment in Paris? What's on your list?

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Since Ying and I have become friends and our books have come out at roughly the same time in the UK, we decided we'd do an interview/giveaway with a slight difference. Rather than posting separate interviews, we jointly interviewed each other, bouncing our questions back and forth to bring the interview as close as possible to the experience of hanging out in the same physical room, having a real conversation.

And the prizes? On my blog, I'm giving away a UK paperback copy of Ying's The Body at the Tower, along with an official "Agency" sticker and bookmark set. (I have one of those stickers and I love it - I've put it the cover of my current moleskine!)

On Ying's blog, she's giving away a UK paperback copy of A Most Improper Magick, along with a set of signed AMIM bookmarks and postcards.

The giveaway is open internationally, and you can enter it just by leaving a comment with your own answer to any one of the questions we posed to each other. If you leave the comment on my blog, you'll be entered to win the Agency package; if you leave it on Ying's blog, you'll enter to win the Kat package; if you leave comments on both blogs, you'll enter to win both giveaways!

And now for the interview:

Ying: What book do you wish you'd written, and why?
Steph: Any of Jane Austen's novels. SO smart, so funny, and so full of layers!

Steph: Literary death-match among your favorite novels: Middlemarch, Emily of New Moon, or A Wrinkle in Time? WHO WILL WIN?
Ying: Middlemarch in a heartbeat, because I’m not 9 years old anymore. It would also win a literal death-match, as it’s physically the biggest book.

Ying: Black olives or green?
Steph: Green, stuffed with feta cheese!

Steph: Cornish pasty or Yorkshire pudding?
Ying: Cornish pasty FTW! Did you know that traditionally, Cornish pasties had a blob of jam in one corner for a dessert-like finish? This has always troubled me. I mean, what if you started at the wrong end?

Ying: What are 3 things that make you laugh?
Steph: My crazy-sweet dog, my son, and Joan Bauer's novel Squashed.

Steph: Which 3 literary heroines do you wish you could hang out with in real life?
Ying: Elizabeth Bennet, Harriet Vane (from Dorothy L. Sayers’s Peter Wimsey mysteries) and, like you, Amelia Peabody (from Elizabeth Peters’s Victorians-in-Egypt adventures). It would be a lively but dangerous gathering.

Ying: And are you a giggler or a cackler?
Steph: A giggler when reading, a cackler when writing. ;)

Steph: Are you a careful bookmark-er or a ruthless page-folder when you read?
Ying: Ack! Would you fold down the corner of your baby or puppy? I THOUGHT NOT.

Ying: What trait do you most admire in others?
Steph: Kindness.

Steph: What trait do you wish you had more of in yourself?
Ying: I’d like to be more disciplined – about writing, chores, time-management...

Ying: What's the strangest place you've ever found your camera or keys?
Steph: In the refrigerator!

Steph: Confession time: which children's TV show theme-songs have you memorized since having your son? (I know EVERY "In the Night Garden" song.)
Ying: This is going to sound so horribly smug, but we unplugged our TV 3 years ago and haven’t got round to setting it up again. (But it’s not because we think we’re better than everybody else! Promise!) But I’ve seen many, many more videos of tractors and fire engines on Youtube than I’d ever dreamed existed.

Steph: I am inherently great at _remembering historical trivia_. I am inherently terrible at _remembering to re-charge my mobile phone_.
Ying: I am inherently great at _remembering phone numbers_. I am inherently terrible at _remembering poems_.

Ying: What's your favourite intersection?
Steph: The spot where the Kaerntnerstrasse runs into the Stefansplatz in the center of Vienna. Gorgeous!

Steph: What's your favorite building in London?
Ying: The British Library. Yes, it looks like a giant primary school circa 1988, but it’s my spiritual home in London.

Ying: Do you have any reading rituals?
Steph: Curled up under the covers, drinking hot chocolate while reading is ideal!

Steph: Do you have any writing rituals?
Ying: Coffee. Glass of water. Email-check. Blog-check. Wander away. Herd myself back. Snack. Bathroom break. Really get started. Oops - reply to urgent email. Answer door. Back to desk. This is why I need more discipline.

Ying: If your mother had to describe you in 3 adjectives, they'd be:
Steph: Eek. Tempted to turn this over to Mom to answer, but at a hopeful guess: stubborn, smart, creative.

Steph: If your husband had to describe you in 3 adjectives, they'd be:
Ying: Smart, funny, opinionated. Or maybe just opinionated, opinionated, opinionated.

***

Answer any of those questions to enter to win the Agency giveaway...and hop over to Ying's blog to win the Kat giveaway! Both contests will close on Wednesday, September 22nd. Good luck!

ETA: These contests are both closed.

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Here are a couple of snippets:

When I think of heroines, I think of the books I most loved as a kid: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, Crocodile on the Sandbank, The Talisman Ring…the list goes on and on, but what ties them all together is the theme of strong, smart women taking responsibility for their own lives.

and:

A lot of people jeer at romance novels, pointing at various examples of sexism in the genre, but I learned some of my best and most powerful feminist lessons as I read the classic romances...

Read the full entry here, and please do comment over there if anything occurs to you!

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However, today, I am going to toss aside all of my ingrained cultural modesty and brag shamelessly about my husband!

As you guys may already know, Patrick and I met in 2001 at the Clarion West Science Fiction & Fantasy Writing Workshop. On the first day of class, a chapter of my novel was up for critique. It was only the second piece to be critiqued in the workshop, and we were all still working out how to workshop at all...and how to survive having our work critiqued! Still, as the critiquing went around the table, most people were pretty positive. I felt my shoulders relax. This wasn't too bad. None of this would be too hard. I was fine, totally fine, and...

"The first twenty-seven pages were dull," Patrick said. (The chapter was 32 pages long, btw.) "It didn't get interesting until page 28."

Gasps of horror and sympathy rippled around the workshop circle. My spine snapped into ramrod-stiffness. I made my face perfectly expressionless and unfazed (something I'd had to learn how to do back in my conservatory days, during the torture sessions known as Studio Class). I took notes with dutiful calmness.

At the end of class, Patrick's first story was passed around. I picked it up calmly, with a polite smile. I thought: I am going to tear this story to PIECES!

I sat down that afternoon with a red pen in my hand and cruelty in my heart. I began to read...and everything went wrong. Because the story? It was beautiful. I absolutely loved it. All of my evil plans fell apart, and I didn't even care. I was too enthralled by the story I was reading.

I've felt the same about every story he's written since then. (And btw, he later apologized for the harshness of that first critique...but he's become by far my best critiquer, the one I trust most in the entire world, because I know he has excellent taste AND he cares more than anyone else in the world about my stories and my books. Nowadays, when he tells me that something isn't working...yes, I still curse silently. But I listen.) In the 9 years since Clarion West, he's published short stories in Realms of Fantasy, Strange Horizons, Year's Best Fantasy 6, Interzone, Black Static, and many more magazines, podcasts, and anthologies.

This week, he got his contributor's copy of the latest Interzone, which includes his story "Camelot". "Camelot" is beautiful and tragic and wonderful (and btw, not for kids - Interzone tends to publish science fiction and fantasy with some darkness in it, aimed squarely at adults). I'd already read it twice, in two different drafts, before he submitted it to Interzone. Reading it again, in published form, I fell into it all over again, amazed all over again by just how good it is.

Patrick's put all of his published short stories (except this, his most recent one) on his website now, where you can read them all for free. (Some of them are appropriate for older kids, like Crab Apple, which has been taught in various classrooms, and some are appropriate for all ages, like Uncle Vernon's Lie. Some of them aren't kid-appropriate at all, and those are clearly marked on the webpage so that no one will get confused.)

You can buy the latest issue of Interzone in various stores in the UK, US, and Canada, and I absolutely recommend that you do, if you like smart, dark, adult SF/fantasy. (This issue is extra-good, too, because not only does it include Patrick's story, it also has a great story by Aliette de Bodard, one of my other favorite writers of SF/F for adults.)

I'm not writing this entry to push one particular magazine issue, thoguh...just to brag shamelessly about my amazing husband, because as I sat down to read his story, I was struck all over again by how very much he impresses me.

If I could go back to that first day at Clarion...well, I'd still want to kill him as I listened to that first critique. ;) But then I would lunge for the pile of fresh stories on the table so that I could read his story even faster and enjoy it even more the second time around.

What about you guys? Please consider this your forum for shameless bragging of any type. What are you most proud of right now, in yourself or in anyone else you care about?

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2. Two weeks from today, Patrick, MrD and I will be heading to Bath, where the Bath Children's Literary Festival will be taking place. We are, ahem, OF COURSE making the trip for serious professional reasons - I'll be meeting up with one of the very cool marketing people from my UK publishing house, doing some last-minute historical fact-checking for Kat Book 2 (A Tangle of Magicks), which is set in Regency-era Bath, and...oh, who am I kidding? You guys know I adore Bath. It's my favorite British city, and one of my favorite cities in the world.

I do have lots of good professional reasons for this trip...but the true thought-bubble that formed over my head when the idea first occurred to me was: Oooh! Ooh! Jane Austen Centre gift shop! Big Waterstones bookshop! OOH!!!! So, yes, there may well be some shopping involved... ;)

3. This year, for the first time in either of our lives, Patrick and I made the mistake of being too organized about something. This never happens! Ever! But we decided to shop for MrD's birthday presents REALLY EARLY this year...and now they're all here, weeks ahead of time. Sitting. Unopened. Unloved. Unappreciated. Waiting...aaagh! It is SO HARD not to give them to him now, when we know he would love them so much. Luckily, we are mature, responsible grown-up people. Or at least, we know we can't afford to buy an all-new set for his actual birthday...so we're hanging on to common sense by the skin of our teeth.

Suddenly, I understand how sensible it really is that my usual shopping policy is to do things the day ahead of time (or sometimes, an hour before the big event). Maybe next year...

4. Y.S. Lee's fabulous second book, The Body at the Tower, is out now in the UK! I absolutely adored this book when I read an ARC earlier this summer. You can read my full Goodreads review of it here (prepare for excited gushing!), but here's a quick snippet:

I loved, loved, loved this book. Of course, I'd already loved the first book in the series - after I read A SPY IN THE HOUSE, I wrote my first-ever piece of author fanmail - but THE BODY AT THE TOWER is just a whole new level of awesome...

So, yeah. I am a total fan-girl. :) Yay, Ying! (And as a disclaimer - yes, we are friends. On the other hand, the way we first met was that I wrote her that piece of fanmail - so my admiration for her books came long before I found out what a fun, funny, smart, and generous person she is in real life.) I strongly, strongly recommend The Body at the Tower!

5. Last week I read a great interview with my friend Sarah Prineas (author of the fabulous Magic Thief series - wonderful high-fantasy adventures for kids), and one question from the interview really stuck with me. The interviewer asked whether Sarah would keep writing if she knew she would never again be published. Sarah's answer was No, because she felt (I'm paraphrasing - see the interview for an exact quote) that without having any future readers for her work, there wouldn't be any point in writing in the first place. I've seen variants of this response from a lot of smart authors, who all point out that communication is a major part of writing. We write to express ourselves, which means we need someone to express ourselves to, or what's the point?

It makes sense.

Still, the question stuck with me because my own immediate, kneejerk answer to the question, even before I read Sarah's answer, was Yes, of course I would keep writing anyway! I've been writing with intensity and focus since I was a very young kid (I knew I wanted to be a pro writer from the time I was seven, and I'd been writing with happy absorption for a while before that), and I can't imagine ever intentionally NOT writing - or rather, I can only too easily imagine the not-writing part, because I've gone through periods of my life when I didn't write, and it made me absolutely miserable.

My very smart mom once put it this way: "Writing's just like eating or breathing for you. You can't do without it, so you might as well not try." And she was right - it really does feel that essential. I would be very, very unhappy if I was never published again...but I'd be FAR unhappier if I gave up writing because of it. Even when it's hard, even when I'm struggling with it, writing makes me happier than anything else in my life except my family.

I don't think one answer to the question is any better than the other - I think we all write for different reasons, and it's right to do what feels right to us when it comes to writing and publication. But I've been thinking about it ever since I read that interview.

What do you guys think? If you're writers, how would you answer that question? And if your vocation lies elsewhere, would you give it up if you knew you'd never get a paying job in the field again? I'm really interested to see what you guys think.

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Rose, the heroine, is a young woman who had to become a grown-up very fast when her parents both (in different ways) abandoned her. The family that she does have left - made up of her two younger brothers and her grandmother - is her main focus in life, the thing she'll give everything to protect.

They're all fabulously well-drawn characters, but when I finished the book this time round, I found myself really missing my grandma in California, because Rose's own grandma is such a great character. She's strong, she's smart, she's loving, she never lets Rose get away with lying to her or to herself...and in my favorite scene of the two of them together, she gives Rose heartfelt, perfect advice that is ABSOLUTELY WRONG for her granddaughter. It's such a perfect family moment: two people loving each other, trying to protect each other, and sometimes screwing up anyway for all the right reasons.

Families: strong, believable, flawed (because they're made up of humans, who are never perfect), and fiercely loving. They're my favorite things to read about.

Looking at my list of comfort books made me realize that that's the big constant, for me, in almost all of my favorite books. I looooove reading about families, whether they're bohemian and eccentric, like the family in Hilary McKay's wonderful Casson family novels, or aristocratic and repressed, like the central family in Loretta Chase's Carsington novels...the main point is, I just love reading about how families interact with each other. I find it endlessly fascinating when it's done well.

And it's the one theme that keeps popping up in my own writing, too, which I guess is not surprising. Even in the dragon book, where I physically separated my heroine from her sisters before the book ever began, that same old family theme keeps coming back again, like an irrepressible force. I just can't stop exploring it.

What about you guys? Do you prefer reading books where the heroines/heros are safely isolated from any family influences, free to have adventures without interference from any interfering relatives, or do you prefer the ones where they're pushing and pulling against their families (whether loving or not) throughout the adventure?

And what are your favorite family books?

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It all started when Christine Johnson realized that YA authors seem to have one big thing in common - an obsession with sweets and baking.

That gave her an idea. She started calling (well - okay, emailing) around and ended up with more than a dozen kind, sugar-loving authors on board to bring you one amazing contest.

Here’s the deal:

To enter, simply leave a thoughtful comment on an author’s Bake Sale blog post, or tweet about the contest with the hashtag #YABakeSale10. Voila! You’re entered.

When you enter, you become eligible to win any one of the Personal Prize Packs (i.e. a comment on Saundra Mitchell’s blog may net you the Cyn Balog prize pack. You’re entering the whole contest, not just that particular author’s part of it.) You also become eligible to win the humongonormous Grand Prize Basket.

What’s in the Grand Prize Basket?

Each author has hand-written two copies of a favorite sweet-treat recipe. One copy has gone into a beautiful recipe book that is part of the Grand Prize Basket. In addition to the (hand-written! Did we mention that?) recipe collection, the Grand Prize winner will receive:

• A signed copy of Cyn Balog’s SLEEPLESS Bookmarks for A MOST IMPROPER MAGICK (aka, KAT, INCORRIGIBLE) by Stephanie Burgis
• Signed bookmarks for THE CRESCENT and HALF MOON, pencils, and a crescent moon and crystal-studded star necklace from Jordan Deen
• A (signed?) copy of THE BODY FINDER, a THE BODY FINDER tote bag, sticker and bookmarks from Kimberley Derting
• An EVERLASTING-themed notebook, bookmark and pin from Angela Frazier
• A signed copy of CLAIRE DE LUNE, signed stickers and a silver, moon-themed bookmark from Christine Johnson
• A signed copy of SHADOWED SUMMER, matching chocolate candies, Twilight-themed heart candies, bookmarks and THE VESPERTINE dance card from Saundra Mitchell
• A signed copy of THE PACE, by Shelena Shorts, along with bookmarks and THE PACE pencils
• A signed hard-cover of SHADE and a Keeley Brothers pin from Jeri-Smith Ready
• A signed copy of PERSONAL DEMONS, a PERSONAL DEMONS tank top, temporary tattoos, and bookmarks from Lisa Desrochers . . .
• AND MORE!!! All for one lucky winner!

But that’s not all!

Each author has one other handwritten recipe that will be part of each author’s own Personal Prize Pack.

The prize packs include:

• Cyn Balog - Signed copy of SLEEPLESS and a handwritten recipe for Coconut Bread.
• Stephanie Burgis - UK paperback copy of A MOST IMPROPER MAGICK and a hand-written recipe for Apple Muffins
• Kay Cassidy - Hand-written recipe and giveaways
• Megan Crewe - Hand-written recipe and giveaways
• Shannon Delaney - Hand-written recipe and giveaways
• Jordan Deen - Basket with Pampered Chef baking gear and a recipe for Orange Pineapple Cake
• Kimberley Derting - Signed copy of The Body Finder, stickers, a totebag, bookmarks and a recipe for Best Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Lisa Desrochers - A copy of PERSONAL DEMONS and a recipe for Sunday Coffee Cupcakes
• Angie Frazier - A signed hard-cover copy of EVERLASTING, bookmark, and a recipe for Butter Rum Cupcakes with Coconut Buttercream Frosting
• Judith Graves - Copy of UNDER MY SKIN, a character card, and a recipe for Dead Lady Fingers
• Christine Johnson - A signed hard-cover copy of CLAIRE DE LUNE, stickers, a silver moon-themed bookmark and a recipe for Chocolate-Chip Butterscotch Blondies
• Saundra Mitchell - Recipe and giveaways Jennifer Murgia - ANGEL STAR swag, Octogram earrings, and a hand-written recipe
• Shelena Shorts - Signed copy of THE BROKEN LAKE and bookmarks and a hand-written recipe
• Jeri Smith-Ready - SHADE UK paperback edition and a recipe for Scottish Oat Scones

Fine print: The contest entries must be posted by midnight eastern time on September 20th. This contest is open to the U.S., U.K. and Canada. Questions? Leave them in the comments or email Christine - christine(at)christinejohnsonbooks.com

ETA: This contest is now closed.

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And speaking of books...

Most of the time, being a writer and a reader go together like...well, like birthday cake and ice cream! You can't have the first without the second, right? (Well, OK, some very strong people may be able to eat birthday cake and NOT eat ice cream with it, but...not me.)

Every so often, though, there's a hiccup. And it's weirdly unpredictable which books - or whole genres - turn out to be off-limits during particular writing projects.

When I was writing A Most Improper Magick, you might have thought that the genre I wouldn't feel able to read would be Regency romances. On the contrary! I loved reading them even more than ever and felt no conflict or discomfort whatsoever as I wrote my own Regency-set adventures, which (gently and lovingly) teased some of the biggest literary conventions in Regency romance.

Books about sisters, though? They felt like poison. I COULD NOT read any of them, no matter how good they were. They could be set in pioneer America or 23rd-century space; they could be gritty realism, even. None of that mattered. As soon as I realized that a book centered around the relationship between sisters, my whole body screamed RED ALERT! RED ALERT! DANGER! and I had to stop reading...

Because what I really cared most about in my own novel, it turned out, was the relationship between Kat and her sisters. That was the most important part of the book, for me, and it felt way too vulnerable and raw to let myself get influenced or thrown out by anyone else's literary sisterhoods.

Now I'm writing a dragon book that's yet again set in the Regency (although about 13 years later, after the Napoleonic wars are finally over). Again, I'm happily reading other Regencies. I'm fine reading other books with dragons, too, because for all the million different representations of dragons in literature, I feel perfectly comfortable and secure in my own interpretation. I'm perfectly happy to read about someone else's 2-ton dragon even as I write about my own heroine carrying her small, decorative (and troublesome) dragon on her shoulder. No problem.

But last week I tried picking up the newest novel by one of my favorite Regency authors for adults, Eloisa James. As usual, it's witty and romantic...but this time, it's a retelling of Cinderella.

As I read, I felt discomfort creep slowly but steadily through me. It got worse and worse, to the point where it actually felt painful. After two (really excellent) chapters, I had to give up and admit that I CANNOT read this novel right now.

This is a book I've been eagerly anticipating, because I LOVE the way Eloisa James writes. But guess what? It turns out that, at its essence, my dragon book is a Cinderella story. One of my beta readers pointed this out a couple of months ago, but I didn't take any notice, because that wasn't how I thought of it at all. I never conceived the novel as a fairytale retelling - Cinderella has never even been one of my favorite fairy tales, so why would I? - and I had no plans for any glass slippers to get involved.

But it turns out...well, my beta readers are really, really smart. Because at its essence, yes, for all the differences between my story and the original fairytale, I really am writing a Cinderella story about loss and transformation and romance...and right now, I cannot bear to read anyone else's version.

What about you guys? If you're writers, are there any genres you've had to give up reading while you wrote a book? If you're a reader, what are your favorite fairytale retellings? Or the genres that you could NEVER give up reading, no matter what?

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And for the yummy portion of the post, here's the teaser that's appearing on several YA author blogs today:

COMING SOON:

It just may be the most delicious contest that’s been run this year. More than a dozen of your favorite YA authors, an obsession with sweets, and a stunning array of prizes. On September 4th, details will be announced here and on Christine Johnson’s blog.

Until then, here’s a hint:

(ETA: Actually, because of international time-zone differences, it will probably get announced here a day later...but you can find out on Christine's blog in the evening of September 4th, if you're in the US!)

***

Why is it that so many kids' authors are obsessed with baked goods? Does it say something about us? Or is it true of everyone? Hmm.

Today I was good and did not buy a baked good at the café, even though the chocolate cheesecake looked INCREDIBLE. Unfortunately, I can't take too much credit, since I was busy melting all over the floor in chocolate bliss - yes, I gave in to temptation and ordered another Hot Chocolate Milano...

And then, in a weird coincidence, the book I found at Waterstones that ended up in my shoulderbag (a book I'd never heard of before, but which looks great) was Cathy Cassidy's Sundae Girl.

There's definitely something edible in the air right now...

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First, Tracy at Tall Tales and Short Stories just interviewed me about the writing/submission process for A Most Improper Magick. You can read the interview (and her review of AMIM) here.

Second, Jocelyn at Book Babblers interviewed me here.

And for anyone with kids who's going to be within driving distance of Newport, Wales on October 27th: you can check out the full programme for Big Read Day online, including the worldbuilding writing workshop I'll be leading for kids aged 10 and up, "How to Write Your World Real". You can also find a booking form here.

Whew! Now on to the real entry. :)

***

A long time back, I posted here asking what people's favorite e-readers were. Over the past year, a toxic combination of exhaustion and CFS has made it almost impossible for me to read long manuscripts on my computer screen...which has struck a fatal blow to my (very important) habit of critiquing novels for close friends and crit partners. Not only does that suck for me (because getting to read great novels before they're published is a huge gift!), it means I'm really letting down everybody who critiques my novels by not helping them out in return.

So, after months of indecision, I am finally breaking down and spending the money on an e-reader. From everything I've read and heard, the iPad seems like by far the best one out there, but...well, sadly, we don't have that much free money! The prices on the new Kindles have finally dropped to a point where we can justify the expense, though, so Patrick and I are going to buy a joint Kindle this month.

This is something I wouldn't be doing if I didn't want to do critiques - I definitely prefer reading books on paper - but I'm getting excited about it already. Last week, as I was re-reading a favorite book for the umpteenth time (a Regency novel for adults, Loretta Chase's Miss Wonderful), I thought about how great it would be to have extra e-copies of all my very favorite comfort books stored on my Kindle so that they were always available, no matter what. I started making a list in my head of all the books I would want to ALWAYS have on me for comfort and fun.

Then, of course, I looked on Amazon...and, curses! Those are almost all books that were published pre-kindle (or just without kindle rights), so of course there aren't any electronic versions available of my favorite comfort books. Wahh!

Still, it was fun making the list in my head. Here's a quick sampling from it (I'm going to save you guys the whole list, because it was LONG!):

• Ilona Andrews, On the Edge (adult rural fantasy)
• Loretta Chase, Miss Wonderful, Mister Impossible, and Lord Perfect (adult Regency romantic comedies)
• Joan Bauer, Squashed (YA comedy)
• Georgette Heyer, The Talisman Ring (18th-century romantic comedy)
• Virginia Euwer Wolff, The Mozart Season (lovely MG novel about family and music)
• Linda Urban, A Crooked Kind of Perfect (quirky MG comedy)
• Lois McMaster Bujold, Paladin of Souls (high fantasy adventure for women, with a great quasi-historical setting)

...aaaand so many more!

What about you guys? If you could stick extra copies of any books in the world onto an e-reader, which books would you carry around with you all the time?

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I have discovered a whole new reason to love life, and it is the Hot Chocolate Milano served at Caffé Nero.

As you guys know, I am a hot chocolate addict, and since our Caffé Nero is amazingly child-friendly (they offer special free drinks - "babaccinos" - for toddlers and even keep a collection of toys for them to play with in-store), I've been drinking my hot chocolates at Caffé Nero at least once a week for the last couple of months. This time, though, for the first time, I noticed a second kind of hot chocolate on the menu, one that was described as "extra-rich".

Ooh. Extra rich. Of course, I ordered it.

The baristo (is the job title baristo when it's a man serving the drinks? or is it still barista?) said, "Ah. Ahem. So have you ordered the Milano before?"

"No," I said.

"Ah," he said. "Well, it's a...well, it's very intense. A lot of people don't like it. It's basically melted Belgian chocolate, you know."

"Ooh," I said. "Sounds good."

He sighed, looking worried. "How about this," he said. "I'll make it for you, but if you don't like it, just tell me, okay? And I'll make you an ordinary hot chocolate for free. Because a lot of people...well, I like it, personally, every once in a while, but it is very intense."

"Okay," I said. As Patrick pointed out later, when I told him this story, the barista/o had NO IDEA what effect he was having on me with this description. He thought he was warning me off. Little did he know...

It looked incredible, served in a tall glass with whipped cream on top. Pure chocolate bliss. I told myself not to have too-high expectations, though, even as I lifted it up to my lips. It couldn't really be that intense, that chocolatey...

OMG. It really was. It was incredible.

I drank every drop. I would have licked the dregs if I could have reached them at the bottom of the glass.

Hot Chocolate Milano. Hot Chocolate Milano. Hot Chocolate Milano...

I can't wait to order another one. I wonder if they would think I was too weird if I got it again tomorrow...

What about you guys? What are your favorite, most decadent café treats?

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(You can click on the photo to see the larger version.)

The handmade chocolate truffles are divine. The picture on the champagne label comes straight from my beautiful UK cover, and it reads: A MOST IMPROPER CHAMPAGNE. DRINK ME!

Just like Alice in Wonderland, I followed orders.

I really, really love my friends. :)

Sadly, I have to warn everybody that - believe it or not - in this coming week, I am going to be even WORSE and even MORE slow at replying to emails and other messages than usual (beating even my previous terrible record!), because we've just started a period of 10 days without any childcare at all. (Curse those August holidays!)

I'm fighting hard to find the time and energy for fiction-writing...but personal emails may just not happen at all in the next week or so. :( I feel really guilty every time I look at my inbox and see so many messages I need and want to respond to...but between exhaustion, CFS, and sheer lack of typing time, it's just not happening at the moment.

My hope is that if I can keep on posting here fairly regularly, at least all my friends will know a bit of what I'm up to...and I promise to try to make up for my email lame-ness once life goes back to normal!

In the meantime, though, I'm having lots of awesome adventures with roaring dinosaurs, tigers, horses, and other animals, both inside our house and at our local park. In the evenings, Patrick and I have been watching Season 4 of Gilmore Girls (our joint anniversary present to each other this year - so great to have a long-running show we both completely enjoy!). And every so often, I manage to find time for my dragon novel, which makes me very, very happy. :)

How are you guys doing? And what's the coolest gift you've either gotten or given in recent times?

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And of course, as the parent, you have to look cheerful and unconcerned by the whole thing, to help your child stay calm and make sure they have a good time even if they have just been casually punched or kicked by a much bigger kid who really should have known better...

And then there's The Big Playhouse Issue, the one I'd forgotten might even come up (possibly because I'd worked so hard to blank it out of my memory?) after all these years away: rope bridges.

I really, really hate ropes courses. And when I say "hate", I mean "pathetically fear". I mean, I used to be the little kid crying and shivering with panic at the head of the bridge, the one who nearly threw up afterward if she ever did manage to cross them.

You know how people always say to kids that once they go ahead and DO that scary thing, they'll enjoy it? I never, ever enjoyed it. Not once. When I was 21, I nearly quit a job I'd just taken - a good job, a job I needed badly - when I found out that as a "bonding" thing, we had to have a day out at a ropes course. Because I was an adult, I didn't cry where anyone else could see me, and I managed to force my way through the day with muscles and teeth gritted to hold back my real reactions, while everyone around me seemed to be having fun.

Then afterward, when no one else could see me, I cried and shook with decompression, because I am so physically petrified of those things.

It's irrational. It's stupid. It's deeply humiliating. I hate this weakness I have, which no one else I know has ever shared. It makes me feel small and really dumb.

Today, I had to encourage my tiny son to cross those ropes, because it was important for him and I really, really don't want to pass on my panic to him. Today, to help him, I had to cross those ropes. Twice. I kept a smile on my face. I kept my voice chirpy. After the second time across, though, I had to call Patrick to pick us up, half an hour earlier than planned. I kept my voice chirpy the whole way back to the house, and waited until Patrick and MrD left for their own trip out.

Then I walked inside the house and cried and shook. Because not only had I had to cross those rope bridges, but the stupid, irrational panic was multiplied a thousand times as I watched - and helped! - my son cross them, too. I know in my head that they're perfectly safe, but my body refuses to accept that, and the feeling of watching my son put himself in mortal danger (untrue though I know that scenario to be) is just lethal.

I hate that I'm still so scared of something so babyish, at the age of 33. I am baffled by the fact that this morning, which should have been fun, turned out to be one of the hardest mornings I've ever spent as a parent (outside of a medical situation).

I came very close to not posting this entry, because I am so humiliated by my fears. But I think - I hope - that there must be other people out there who have "childish" fears that they're embarrassed by, who might be willing to share them here or at least be glad to see that someone else has them, too.

Do you guys have any fears you haven't outgrown, even if you think you should have? Or: if you're parents, what are the hardest things you've had to do to help your kids?

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When I was first starting to send short stories out to magazines, I got a really nice rejection from one of my very favorite magazines. The editor said all sorts of great things about my writing style, and said how close the story had come to being published, but she still turned it down. Well, I was feeling sick with a cold and very sorry for myself that day, and...(oh, I still cringe when I remember this)...

Read the whole story, and pick up the pie recipe, on Heather's blog!

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This is surprisingly frazzling. The first few chapters are always so easy! They're just for fun, I just see what happens...and then we hit this bit, where I need to actually make important decisions. Oops.

So it's good timing to be reading Russell T. Davies's The Writer's Tale: The Final Chapter (recommended by Sara Ryan), which is turning out to be the funniest and smartest book on writing that I've read in a long, long time. I keep wishing that I had post-it notes on hand to stick on every page where a moment or observation flies out at me and wants to be saved...sadly, this is a library book, so I'll have to wait until I buy a copy of my own (soon!) before I get to mark it up.

Here's one bit, though, that was most appropriate for the stage I'm in right now with my dragon novel. He's talking about the struggle to come up with the main ideas for a Doctor Who Christmas episode, and all the inevitable "buts" that come flying up in an internal cloud of skepticism whenever a possible new idea first occurs to him:

But why not...? Why would...? Why do...?...But that sort of thing shouldn't stop me. Let it ride. I mustn't bore myself with reasons with reasons why not. There are always a million dull reasons why not. Go for the images, the feel of it, the potential, the dynamic. Details come later.

I read that paragraph and thought, YES. It was exactly what I needed to read. The important thing is to focus first on the FUN of the idea, focus on how it could be the MOST fun, and deal with all the rational logistics of it later.

Because I'm me, the main external work I'm doing right now (while I work out all the big questions inside my head) is collaging the novel and going on a big musical hunt for songs that might work as a playlist. So far, the "dragon playlist" on my computer has a Pink Martini song ("Tuca Tuca"), the movie soundtrack from Pride and Prejudice (I don't really like that adaptation, but the soundtrack is just perfect), and some lovely, haunting Maggie Stiefvater songs that I downloaded from her website. I keep the playlist playing in my ears at least half of every day, helping to focus my mind as I work out the different characters and their arcs.

And the whole time, of course, I feel desperately restless and itchy and irritable, because I want to get down to it and just WRITE! But if I skip this pre-writing stage, I will pay for it, because my subconscious needs the time to simmer. That's a lesson I've learned before, all too painfully. Sigh.

Anyway! That's what my writer-side has been up to this weekend, while the rest of me has been mommying. MrD and I had a lovely café trip yesterday, visited the owls, and stopped in at Waterstones. A perfect Saturday! Today has been much quieter, but Maya and I went to the park, and later I'll be skyping with my family back home in Michigan, so it's a good weekend overall.

What about you guys? How are your weekends going? And if you're a writer, what kind of pre-writing work do you usually need to do?

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Even once my wonderful publisher had done all the hard work of paying for and organizing the party, I was filled with panic that I wouldn't make it worth their while. (What if no one came? What if people did come and I made a fool of myself in front of them?) Plus, my editor was taking the train all the way to Abergavenny to celebrate with me, and what if I made a fool of myself in front of her?

I couldn't eat before the party, I was so nervous. The thought of reading out loud from my book at the party suddenly filled me with terror, even though I've done so many readings before at other events.

Then I saw my editor walking down the street toward me (we'd arranged a coffeeshop date before the party), and all that terror just drained away. I LOVE my editor. She's one of those people who exudes confidence and enthusiasm and genuine belief in her authors, and from the moment she arrived, the reality hit - my book had been published! And we were about to have a PARTY to celebrate it! How cool was that???

I drank hot chocolate and we talked about the cover for Book 2. We went to the bookstore. People had come! Girls had come, of just the right age group, and they were excited about Kat. They were excited to be there. One had actually been brought by her mother as a special birthday treat.

I was in awe, and I was humbled. People asked me to sign their books as if I was the one doing them the favor...but that was just SO not the case.

I was nervous when I started reading, but then I genuinely had fun reading it...and I had SO much fun all the rest of the night as I got to talk to so many smart, interesting teenage girls who loved books and fantasy, so many wonderful kids and adults who'd taken time out of their evenings to come and celebrate with me.

I am so, so grateful to every one of them for giving me such an amazing launch party. THANK YOU. I am just in awe that people are really out there reading my book. It means so much to me.

(And I want to say right now that Pete, the events manager at the Abergavenny Waterstones, is SO fabulous to work with. The buffet spread he'd arranged was incredible! And he was just so generous and supportive and on the ball in every way, as was Angela, the store manager. If any authors out there ever want to do a Welsh event, the Abergavenny Waterstones is a wonderful place to do it.)

Sadly, there didn't end up being any photos from the event. We were sad afterward when we realized we'd forgotten to figure out photography - but honestly, I will never forget last night. It truly was one of the best nights of my life.

Today we went out on a day trip with relatives who'd come to Abergavenny for the party, and we took a gorgeous little vintage steam train* into the Brecon Beacons National Park, traveling high up up into the mountains above spectacular views of pine woods and an enormous lake. (OK, officially it's a reservoir - but I'm from Michigan, and I really miss lakes, so I thought of it as a lake!)

It was such a treat just to sit back and watch the incredible views through the windows as the train chugged along, whistling and pumping steam and really thrilling the toddlers in our family group. I was surrounded by beauty, and I was surrounded by people whom I love and admire, who'd come out of their way to celebrate my book launch with me. It was just perfect.

__

*A quick warning - the Brecon Mountain Railway website is worth checking out, but not at work - it has a loud steam-train sound effect that starts automatically when you click on it!

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It was the first time I'd had two cuts so close together since before MrD was born...and my hairdresser was visibly relieved! After finding out last time that it had been the first cut in five months, I think she had dire concerns about whether or not I was really grown-up enough to maintain the nice haircut she'd given me...and I have to admit, if I didn't have tomorrow's launch party as a spur to make myself presentable, I probably wouldn't have.

I really loved this bit from one of Sarah Dessen's recent blog entries:

I know I've said this before, but for some reason, I keep waiting for things to Calm Down. You know, get manageable again. But it's been three years since I became a mom, almost, and the chaos is clearly here to stay. I also realized recently that I have this habit of just waiting for, you know, that finish line moment, when everything will fall into place and it's smooth sailing from there on it. Like the end of a movie, right?

I loved the whole entry but laughed in particularly rueful recognition at that paragraph. Ohhhh, yeah. After MrD was born, I was SURE things would calm down within a few months...and yeah, they did, but then he became a toddler...and then, and then, and then... Funny, it turns out life is just a lot more full and complicated (as well as rich and often joyful) after you become a parent, and it doesn't ever really go back to the streamlined non-parenting timeline. (Well, except maybe after they leave for school or university? Obviously, we're not there yet.)

I really liked LK Madigan's blog entry Do You Need a Door?, which collects thoughts from a whole bunch of writers about what kind of writing space they need (including some thoughts on how that can change after having children). I am soooooo jealous of Deva Fagan's lovely writing desk, shown in a photo there! Nowadays, I do most of my writing while lying on a couch or a bed, while MrD is at his childminder in the morning or (if I'm lucky and he sleeps deeply) during his afternoon nap. But I still think longingly about coffeeshop writing trips...maybe I will fit one in soon. After all, I spent several months thinking that I couldn't fit in haircuts, and it turns out those really are possible. So who knows?

What would you guys really like to do, if you only had the time?

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It was a really, really good weekend. On Saturday night, we ate takeaway curries and drank anniversary champagne, and then we had a laid-back family Sunday with MrD, just hanging out in the back yard and at the local park. It was lovely and fun and incredibly relaxing to spend the whole day as a family - it can be too easy to fall into the habit of switching off childcare duties so that one of us is always alone Being Productive and Getting Stuff Done.

Yesterday, for once, we remembered that it was a Sunday, and that sometimes being productive is a lot less important than having a really good time as a whole family, together.

And then today, for the first time in almost five months, I sat down and read through the 11,000 words I'd written this spring of my Austen-y dragon novel! I was really nervous after all the time off. I'd loved it so much, I'd been having so much fun...would I be disappointed when I actually read what I had written back in March?

I was in love all over again within the first three pages, buzzing with inspiration and joy. I love, love, love playing in this world, with these characters. It's funny, I first had the idea for the concept of this book about five years ago, but it never went anywhere beyond the first line. Then I remembered it two years ago, wrote the first page and a half...but it still didn't work. I was stuck on concept and style without any real characters, which SO doesn't work for me. Finally, finally, this March, the characters slipped into my head, I threw away those first couple of pages and started over again from scratch...and here we are, with a real book on the way.

It's been a long, long time from first concept to realization, but I'm really, really happy to be here now. And another awesome thing arrived today: my American jacket proofs for Kat, Incorrigible! Once again, I've co-opted Carrie Jones's Need from my bookshelf, because it has exactly the right page count and size to fit my cover. Sadly, I couldn't find our digital camera (MUST find it before Thursday's launch party!), but PhotoBooth came to the rescue:

Days like this are just...well, I'm really, really thankful and aware of my good luck today.

Can anyone point me toward some good dragon-themed desktop wallpaper? Or alternately: what's the longest you've ever taken between starting a project and figuring out what it really wanted to be all along?

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Friends of ours catered the reception with fabulous Indian curries as their (incredibly generous) wedding present. We ate ice cream (both dairy and vegan) and traditional British wedding fruitcake, vegan-ified, for dessert. Our dog Nika was meant to stay in our house across the street, but she couldn't resist the party - she darted straight through someone's legs, across the (luckily empty) street, and ended up staying and partying with all the rest of us, much to the delight of all the dog-crazy little kids who were in attendance. The music mix alternated between heavy metal (Patrick's pick) and opera/girl-pop (mine).

It was fun and silly and totally awesome. It was quite literally the best day of my life up to that point.

Over the last six years, there have been a lot of ups and some really horrible downs. Our lovely Nika died far too young, of a really cruel genetic disorder; people we loved died; I was diagnosed with CFS, changing both of our lives in ways that we'd never anticipated. There were times that we were absolutely terrified about how we would cope financially, and that was hard - really, grindingly hard.

Through it all, though, what made all the difference was that no matter what came up for either of us, we were each facing it by the side of our very best friend.

I'm always baffled by the people who think that romance is unrealistic, as a genre - that romantic happy endings are simply too good to be true. I don't believe that for an instant.

Yes, life can be very hard. Relationships can be hard work. Quite often, they turn out not to be work-able at all, and divorces are agonizingly painful for everybody concerned, even when they're the right decision.

Quite often, though, our relationships really are the best part of our lives. I grew up surrounded by happy long-term marriages, marriages that brightened and bettered people's lives, despite any hard points that came up along the way. Not everyone finds the partner who fits them, and of course no one needs a loving husband/wife/partner to be happy. But it is one of the biggest strokes of luck in the world when you do find the partner who suits you to the ground.

I am so happy to have married my best friend. Happy anniversary, sweetheart!

And to everybody else: what are your favorite romances, in books or movies? I'm in the mood to hunt some down right now. :)

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I've sworn to myself to STOP looking at the Amazon rankings (AND the Book Depository rankings, for that matter). I've been thrilled by the first few reviews on Amazon, which means that now would probably be a smart time for me to stop looking for any more. (We'll see if I manage to restrain myself...wisdom says one thing; experience says another...)

Here's the one thing that has reliably worked every time this week that Publication Crazy has started to overwhelm me: writing something new.

I'd planned to give myself this week off writing, since I'd worked so hard to finish Kat3 in time to send off last Friday. Well. That was a really, really bad plan. What I'd forgotten, when I decided that, was that NOT writing always makes me antsy and edgy - and when you add that to Publication Crazy...urk!

Wednesday, when I found myself in such a crazy mood that I kept checking Amazon every few hours just in case anything exciting happened (and yes, I am embarrassed to admit this!), I finally went back to a very, very silly short story that I'd begun several months ago (but left unfinished because I didn't have time to work out the plot tangles at that point). Reading through the story-so-far, I giggled out loud. I wrote the obvious next few lines...and I felt my muscles begin to relax. All that buzzing stress slowed down and melted away.

Writing is really, really good for me. Funny how easy it is to forget that...

Which makes this a good time to finally mention that the Clarion West Write-a-thon ended last week! Thank you SO much to everyone who sponsored me in it this year. I really, really appreciate it. My original plan was to finish the Kat3 rewrite and send it off by July 1st, and then to write 40 pages of new projects. Unfortunately, about a week after the 6-week write-a-thon began, MrD's childminder went on unexpectedly early maternity leave, and we were left with about a month of little to no childcare at all...and there went all my major writing sessions for a month. Oops.

In the end, I finished the Kat3 rewrite, sent it off last Friday (on the last day of the write-a-thon), and wrote about 15 pages of new projects as well, along the way. It wasn't all that I'd hoped at the beginning of the write-a-thon...but it was a LOT better than it could have been, considering the circumstances. And it's way more than I would have accomplished if I hadn't had sponsors who'd believed in me and contributed to Clarion West on my behalf. I remembered you guys every time I felt too tired to write, or felt tempted to just blow off a writing session and surf the internet instead. Knowing that I had sponsors kept me honest, and I am so grateful for it.

It's tempting to lash myself right now for not doing everything I wanted to do - surely there MUST have been a way somehow to get all my goals accomplished even without childcare - but for once, I'm not going to. I'm trying to learn how to not freak out when I don't accomplish everything I want, and to be happy with what does get done.

Right now, I'm about to make myself a really rich hot chocolate, in honor of everything I have managed to do this summer, often in difficult circumstances. What about you guys? What small treats have you been giving yourself lately?

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See, one of the only downsides of moving to Wales was that I had to leave behind a bunch of friends in Leeds, women I really loved to hang out with. I figured I'd make new friends here...and I'm sure I would have by now if I had a day-job or if I took MrD to more playgroups where I could meet other moms.

Unfortunately (in this case), I work at home by myself, and MrD tends to go to those playgroups with his childminder, because that's the only way our schedule will work. So, while I continue to have lots of great friends who make my life infinitely better and richer, I tend to connect with them by phone or email nowadays, rather than face-to-face.

Last week, as we were driving into town, I spotted a woman with a little kid of about MrD's age walking down our street. There was something about her that made me think I'd like her - you know how those snap judgments happen, something about her face or her clothes or the way she was talking to her child...who knows? Anyway, she looked like someone who would be interesting to meet, but I figured that would just have to be left up to chance.

Then Patrick came home a few days ago having briefly chatted to her as they passed each other - it turned out she was just moving into the neighborhood this week. Ooh. Awesome excuse to knock on the door and say hi and welcome to the neighborhood! part of me thought. The other part thought: Yeah, right. I'm sure she's busy and not interested in having random strangers knock on her door to say hi. Forget it.

That second part might have won forever, but today I found myself on my own, without even MrD to look after, without anything I needed to do...and I crossed the street. All the way up the steps to her house, a whole lecture sounded in my head: If you knock on that door, she'll look at you as if you're an alien. You'll be interrupting her in the middle of something important. Just turn around. Turn around now! I rang the doorbell. I half-hoped that she wouldn't be in, so I wouldn't be humiliated.

She was in. And guess what? She was genuinely pleased to see me. It turned out that she's been wanting to meet people here, and has also been trying to get up the nerve to say hi to strangers. She invited me in, and we had a really lovely chat over tea and chocolate cookies. We'll be hanging out again, and introducing our kids.

It would have been SO easy, so much easier, for me to turn around halfway up those steps and drop the whole idea. I could have spent the next six months wishing that I'd had the nerve. I often do, in similar circumstances.

Sometimes bravery is all about leaping on a horse and risking your life. Sometimes it's just risking a moment of social humiliation.

They were really good chocolate cookies.

What have you guys done lately that scared you?

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And the grand prize winner is: Shawna Lenore!

Please contact me with your postal addresses and I'll put your packs in the mail tomorrow!

***

Today was no longer Publication Day, but it was a good day nonetheless. Since I'd sent off Kat3 on Friday (which continues to feel weird, after working on it for nearly two years!), today I used my childfree time for...okay, guess the LEAST LIKELY thing you can imagine. Ready?

I cleaned the house (or at least the living room, because, well, that was how much energy I had). Yes. It was THAT rare and unlikely an occurrence! But it was actually a relief to have the time to do it...and it will be even MORE of a relief to go back to writing as soon as the whole house is in reasonably good shape. That's my goal, after the last three months of putting all my spare energy into revision and forcing myself to ignore all the clutter (because why worry about something you can't change?): to FINALLY unpack the leftover boxes from our April move and get the house into a reasonably tidy and well-organized condition.

Better late than never...and at least part of the house-fix-up has actually been fun, since I spent about an hour putting up room stickers of tigers and monkeys and lions in one of the rooms of our house. (Guess whose? No, not mine. If I chose room stickers for my and Patrick's room, they'd either be Regency images or dragons.)

And the very coolest part of the last 24 hours has been the fact that I got the chance to read an ARC of Ying Lee's The Body at the Tower. I loved her first book, A Spy in the House (in fact, I loved it SO much that I actually sent her fanmail, something I'd never done after reading a book before!), but ohhhhhhh....I love Body EVEN MORE. You can read my review on Goodreads for now, and in a month or so, I'll probably give away a copy of the published book, because I loved it THAT much - I feel evangelistic about it! (It stands alone perfectly, btw, so you don't need to read Spy to read Body - but heck, why not?)

Which books do you guys love enough to thrust at everyone you know?

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Today I'm blogging there about three of my favorite picture books. Here's an excerpt:

One of my favourite parts of parenting so far has been getting to discover great new books together with my son. Even before he was born, I’d started collecting some of my old favourites from my own childhood, but for this post I wanted to talk about three books we discovered together and both love. The linking theme is independence: all three of these books feature characters going out into the wide world without their parents, dealing with strange adults and facing the unknown, just like every little kid eventually has to do...

You can read the full entry here - and I love the songs and activities Zoe's come up with to accompany the books I wrote about!

And of course today is the last day to enter my prize pack giveaway. It was a really, really awesome Publication Day. Thank you guys so much for celebrating with me! :)

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But officially? Today, my book is OUT: out there in the world, officially Published. That's something I've been dreaming of, quite literally, for twenty-six years now, ever since I was seven years old. And that is definitely worth a party!

So this morning, our whole family went out to celebrate...and of course A Most Improper Magick came with us. Here it is with my decadent "meal" at our local (and wonderfully child-friendly) Caffè Nero: 

Yes, that is whipped cream beside the (hot, melty chocolate) brownie. It was DELICIOUS! And sitting next to the plate is the compact mirror that Patrick got from the Jane Austen Centre giftshop as my Valentine's Day gift this year, in honor of the magical compact in A Most Improper Magick. Of course that had to come too! (Can you tell I'm a little bit giddy today?)

And here is Patrick, an hour later and in a different café (our local Coffee No. 1, which is not terribly child-friendly but a great place to write) showing off what can now be done in cafés around the country: 

Although the physical launch party (complete with party prizes!) isn't for another week and a half, today I wanted to do something online to celebrate, for everybody who can't come to my physical launch party.

So first of all, I've put up the second and third chapters of A Most Improper Magick - you can now read all of the first three chapters on my website! I really, really hope you guys enjoy them.

And secondly, if you want, you can enter to win a book-birthday party prize, no matter where in the world you are.

One person will win a signed copy of the UK edition of the book, along with a Kat postcard, Kat bookmarks, and an "Everything's Better With Highwaymen!" button. Two runners-up will get everything in that pack except the book.

This giveaway is only open for the next 36 hours, through Monday at 7pm UK time.

Here's how to enter:

1. You can get one point by just commenting on this entry to tell me that you want to enter the drawing. (I won't enter you unless you ask for it specifically, so feel free to comment on the entry even if you don't want to be a part of the giveaway! ;) I promise it won't happen by accident.)

2. You can get one more point by tweeting this:

A Most Improper Magick by @stephanieburgis is out in the UK today! Read the first 3 chapters here: http://bit.ly/Rmy1z

and then telling me you've done it, just in case I miss it. I should be able to figure it out through Twitter on my own, but I don't want to miss anyone by accident!

(And PS: if you already RT'd my earlier tweet about the chapters, that totally counts toward the giveaway. Just remind me in a comment here, okay?)

3. You can get two more points by giving that same information in a blog entry (and then telling me that you did it).

At 7pm tomorrow, I'll choose a random winner, and I'll put all three sets of prizes in the post on Tuesday!

***

OK. I know I've probably sounded fairly business-like and sensible in the last few paragraphs - or at least I was trying to...but you guys? MY BOOK HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN PUBLISHED. I am in shock...and very, very, very happy.

So I just want to share the last two lines of the printed acknowledgments in A Most Improper Magick:

And thank you to my community of friends on www.livejournal.com, who have cheered me on when I was nervous, comforted me when I was lost and joined with me in all my celebrations. You guys are the best!

I still remember when I very, very nervously went back to writing the first draft of A Most Improper Magick after my year off from it. I was convinced that I was being commercially crazy to work on it, but I just loved the book way too much to give it up...and one of the things that helped the most was the wonderful outpouring of supportive comments on this journal from people who told me to keep going - who had faith in me, and in Kat and her sisters.

You guys really are the best, and I know it. THANK YOU!

ETA: This giveaway is now closed.

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Yeah, right. Who am I trying to kid?

Every time I woke up in the middle of the night, I thought: they're coming today! When I woke up this morning, I thought: TODAY! And every time I heard a car outside our house, I twitched as if someone had given me an electric shock.

Still, I had to be productive. Today is the last day of the Clarion West write-a-thon and the day I'd sworn to finally send off Kat Book 3 to my American editor and my agent. So I spent the morning alternating between last-minute small fixes and historical spot-checks...and manic leaps toward the window every time I heard anything that might be a delivery.

The doorbell rang. I was mired down in manuscript paper. Patrick got there first. It was a Tescos deliveryman.

"Um...we didn't order anything," Patrick said.

The deliveryman said, "Someone did!"

And someone had. Tricia Sullivan had sent me six bars of luscious dark chocolate and a bottle of white wine, perfect weapons for fighting the Publication Day Crazy! I laughed and unwrapped a chocolate bar, set the wine in the fridge to chill, and started to chill out a little bit myself.

By noon, I was finished with the final changes to Kat 3 and was staring at the cover page. "But what am I going to call it?"

Patrick and I were both brainstorming titles when there was a knock on the door.

I lunged.

The UPS man was holding two packages: one box from Templar Books - mybooksmybooksmybooks! - and one padded bag from Atheneum Books, which I hadn't been expecting.

Patrick insisted on photographing the entire un-boxing process, which you can see behind the cut. 

And, in a total surprise, guess what the Atheneum bag added to the pile? Shiny new ARCs of Kat, Incorrigible!

I honestly never completely believed, throughout this entire process, that it was quite real. That my book really was being published.

But it was. And it has been. And it's a real book!

Half an hour after the grand unboxing, I emailed off Kat Book 3. (Tentatively titled, A Reckless Magick in the UK and Kat, Incorrigible: A Reckless Magic in the US.)

Then Patrick uncracked a bottle of champagne.

A Most Improper Magick is a real, published book. And today was just the most awesome mail day EVER.

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Here are two snapshots from my childhood:

One: I'm nine years old, walking back to my cabin at summer camp. As usual, I’m reading as I walk…and this time, I end up completely tangled in a vollebyall net I hadn't even noticed, because I was so absorbed in The Count of Monte Cristo...

You can read the full entry here - and please do leave a comment if anything occurs to you. Have you ever walked into anything while you were reading? Or am I alone in my book-related accidents? Eek. Maybe you shouldn't answer that one after all...

(No, actually I think I'm safe, because I know someone else who biked right into a car door when he was reading while riding a bicycle. Of course, he was a member of my family, so maybe it's just us...)

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Sherlock: A Study in Pink

This week I watched the first episode of Sherlock, Steven Moffat's modern-day updating of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Steven Moffat is my favorite writer for TV, so I really hoped that it would be good, even though I am a total Sherlock Holmes geek and was seriously disappointed to hear that it would be set in the 21st century. Still, Steven Moffat is awesome, so I was willing to give it a try...

...and, WOW. I was completely blown away. I haven't been this excited about a TV show in...well, let's just say a really, REALLY long time. It honestly was the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation I've ever seen. Despite the changes made for the contemporary setting, this was the first adaptation I've seen that perfectly got across the brilliant and intense weirdness of Sherlock Holmes as a person, managed the fast, fun pace of the original stories (this show was just SO MUCH FUN to watch!), and most of all conveyed the really great dynamic between Holmes and Watson (who is really not supposed to be stupid, as in so many of the film and TV adaptations - he's only stupid compared to Holmes because everybody is, when compared to Holmes). In their friendship, each of them is supplying something that the other really, really needs.

People in the show comment nervously on how much darkness must be in Holmes, to make him so obsessed with murder and crime - but there's something in nice, friendly Watson that draws him to be a part of that, too. Lots of yummy ambiguity done really well, along with sparky, funny dialogue and a great story...just perfect.

Oh, and I LOVED the scene at the end between Holmes and his arch-nemesis. No spoilers, but it made me very happy. :)

The single thing I didn't like about the episode was something that pops up in so many shows nowadays (including Buffy, another show I absolutely loved) and which always upsets me: the use of torture as an easy and reliable way to get instant truth from a bad guy. I really, really hate this plot device on so many levels, I hate that it's used SO MUCH in TV, which helps to normalize it in the broader culture, and I wish Steven Moffat hadn't cheapened an important revelation at the end of the show by getting it out that way. (Just once, how about someone lies under torture? Or genuinely doesn't know the information that's being pursued, but makes something up just to get the hero to stop hurting them - y'know, the way it often happens in real life? Sigh.)

Still, that was a very small moment in the episode, and if I wasn't willing to cope with shows that use that plot device, I'd have to watch almost no action-adventure television at all. And overall, I just loved, loved, loved Sherlock and can't wait for the second episode to come out.

***

Today MrD and I spent the morning in town, and it was good. We dropped off invitations to the book launch (two weeks from today!), we hung out at our favorite café, and we both got new books. (Mine was Jandy Nelson's The Sky is Everywhere, which is really lovely so far.) When we got home, I found a package from my publisher waiting for me: beautiful Kat bookmarks and postcards! I can't wait to start giving them away.

And best of all, all day today I've been hearing from people who'd pre-ordered A Most Improper Magick from The Book Depository, letting me know that copies are being dispatched! It's now officially in stock there (although not yet at any of the other UK booksellers). Eeee! Luckily, today the crazy is at a low enough level that I managed to restrain myself from ordering myself a copy just because I could. But it was bizarrely tempting... ;)

What have you guys done lately just for fun? (And OK, I admit that dropping off invites was not just for fun - but hanging out with MrD in the café, drinking hot chocolate and playing with him while we people-watched together? That was awesome. It made me really happy.)

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I have seen Publishing Crazy. To be specific, I have seen Publication Day Crazy. And I always, always shook my head over it. Of course, I didn't do it in front of them - I was their friend, and they were suffering! - but I shook my head to myself. I said to myself: if I ever get published, I will not succumb to Publication Day Crazy. I will be happy and zen and centered. I will remember that this is all good! I will not be crazy.

You guys will have already guessed the ending to this story.

My book will be out in the UK in four days...and I have sooooo succumbed to Publication Day Crazy. Every time I think about the fact that A Most Improper Magick will officially be out on Sunday, my breath speeds up to hyperventilation levels. (Which is crazy! It might not even be in bookstores yet by that point. I won't have author copies by that point. Sunday is only a day, not a TERRIFYING EVENT. Right?)

Every time I look at the space on the bookshelf where my book will appear (and of course I do this, with pinpoint accuracy and unstoppable magnetism, every single time I visit my local library or Waterstones), I feel sick with panic. This is real. What if EVERYBODY HATES IT????? (It doesn't even matter that I've gotten some really nice reviews. What if they were ALL, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, FLUKES?)

Yesterday I realized that a period (full stop) had accidentally been replaced by a comma, incorrectly, at one point in the first chapter of my book...and I had a full-on meltdown. (EVERYONE WILL THINK I'M A GRAMMATICAL KNOW-NOTHING WITH NO SENSE OF STYLE! OTHER WRITERS WILL BURN MY BOOK!)

Back on Monday, I was planning to cut down on chocolate this week and start a new regime of healthy eating.

I am in full-on Publication Day Crazy mode...but even I, it turns out, am not quite that crazy.

Today I ate half of a large chocolate-chocolate-chip cookie and drank a strong dark hot chocolate. (Heat one small cup of milk on the stove. Melt in four squares of really excellent dark chocolate. Drink. Experience heaven.)

It helped. But I am still crazy.

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At the end of the interview, there's another chance to win a British ARC - and again, this giveaway is open internationally. :)

You can read the interview - and enter to win the ARC - here.

Now I am going back to drinking more Earl Grey and scowling at the first page of Kat3, which I just. can't. get. quite. right. yet! But I will. It may just take an awful lot of chocolate to break through...

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I still remember the moment I opened Elizabeth Peters’s Crocodile on the Sandbank for the first time. I was at Camp Blue Lake, a two-week-long music camp which I was attending - unfortunately - as a piano major. I’d been there for a week so far, which was more than long enough to prove that, although I really did like the piano, playing it for more than two hours a day was enough to make my head spin with boredom…and attending a piano-related concert every single night was enough to make me want to shrivel up and die....

You can read the rest of the entry here, and please do leave a comment there if any occur to you! What were the books that rose up and grabbed you when you were supposed to be focusing on Something Much More Important at the time? ;)

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Does anyone know of a good online Welsh-language course, or a really good set of Welsh language CDs? And have you guys had any luck learning languages that way? I've never used CDs to learn a language - I've always relied on in-person classes - but I'm starting to think that that might be the more practical way to go, this time...

Actually, as long as I'm asking the internet random questions: does anyone know how to make Twitter backgrounds out of novel covers? What size do they need to be? Is there a set of directions somewhere? I'd love to make two alternate backgrounds, one with my UK cover and one with my US cover.

(I'd also really love to make a good LJ icon from my UK cover, the way I have from my US cover, but I haven't had any luck with that so far - it always ends up looking wrong. Sigh. I do not have an artistic eye for cropping and resizing.)

And can you guys do my homework for me, please? Pleeeeeease? I'll trade you my peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich AND my chocolate milk... ;)

Ahem. Stopping now!

It's been a really lovely, sociable weekend. We've had lots of time hanging out with people who are, in a huge stroke of luck, both family members and really good friends. We've eaten homemade crumble made from berries freshly picked from the local mountains; I've drunk hot chocolate every single day, in celebration of the fact that finally, after nearly two years, I can! (Of course I did drink coconut hot chocolates, and they were incredibly yummy, but they weren't quite the same.)

What about you guys? How are your weekends going?

__

*It's by a local group, Ffynnon, from Carmarthen, but the CD is actually from an American label, so it's just as easy to buy in the US.

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Ever since MrD was born, I've had to realize over and over again that my understanding of how fast I can write is no longer completely accurate. More than that - I just can't control my own schedule the way I used to. I started this revision on May 1st and planned to turn in the finished draft on June 1st - but it turned out that I just couldn't revise fast enough. Then I planned to turn it in by July 1st, and I really think that could have happened - but MrD's childminder unexpectedly went on maternity leave a month and a half early, and we lost almost all our childcare for about a month. Oops. There went all the time I'd planned to use on finishing the rewrite.

Add in viruses sweeping the family and all the other complications of having a little kid and having CFS...and, yeah. The feeling of relief that swept through me when I typed THE END was one of the sweetest feelings I've known for quite a while.

Thank goodness my editor is really, really generous and tolerant! The only pressure on me has been self-inflicted - she just told me to take the time I needed and not to freak out about it. After all, it won't be published for another 3 years - who cares if I'm a month or two later than planned? But for a perfectionist like me - the girl who HAD to get all A's in school or else (or else what? I don't even know anymore)...well, forgiving myself for missing a deadline is an almost impossible goal.

But I am learning - slowly and painfully - to be a little kinder to myself about my new, slower, post-baby pace. Sometimes I see childless authors producing multiple books a year, and I feel a twinge - that's what I should be doing! But then I look at MrD, and I think about all the joy he gives me, and the joy we give each other by spending so much time together right now while he's so small. That would be worthwhile no matter what. And when I look back later in life, I can't imagine myself thinking I should have spent less time with my son so that I could write faster!

So today I'm consciously working to celebrate my achievement without all the internal qualifications that want to pop up and take over. (Like: Yeah, but you'll still turn it in almost 2 months late! Loser!) Today, I'm not going to let that nasty internal perfectionist be the one who wins.

Yesterday I printed out the Kat3 manuscript for my final read-through. Tonight, some very much loved family members are coming into town, and I'm going to enjoy my time with them this weekend without freaking out about what other "productive" things I could be doing. Monday, I'll sit down with my manuscript and read it through. By Friday, it will finally be on my editor's desk. And right now, I'm just going to be happy about that.

What about you guys? What small or large achievements are you celebrating right now?

--

*It's become a little complicated to talk about my book now that it has two different titles! My solution for now is to refer to it as A Most Improper Magick when I'm talking about the UK edition, and to switch to Kat, Incorrigible when I'm talking about the US edition...but you may see me wavering awkwardly between the two from time to time in the next several months!

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and the full jacket:

of Kat, Incorrigible! (Click to see a larger version on Flickr.)

The stars will be foiled in silvery-green. Eeee!

Kat, Incorrigible is the full title of Book 1 in the US, and it'll become the series title, too, so that Book 2 will be Kat, Incorrigible: A Tangle of Magics in the US (whereas it'll be A Tangle of Magicks (Book Two of The Unladylike Adventures of Kat Stephenson) in the UK).

The two titles and covers are SO different, but I really do love them both, and I'm feeling very lucky right now.

And just for fun, here's the full jacket artwork without the text, because it makes me happy:

(Click to see the larger version.)

The new US publication date is April 5, 2011 - but if you want to read an advance copy of the book long, long before that, you can enter now to win a British ARC at the book blog I Was a Teenage Book Geek! Lauren posted a really lovely review of the book yesterday, and now she's giving away her ARC, with the giveaway open to international contestants.

What do you guys think of the new American title and look?

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Today I cooked macaroni 'n cheese!

OK, I guess I'll understand if that doesn't immediately sound like such a mind-blowing event. But here's the thing: this was my first macaroni 'n cheese in almost two years. Because of MrD's dietary restrictions, I'd been officially refused dairy ever since the autumn of 2008. As a vegetarian, you'd think I'd have practice at this sort of thing. After all, I've happily done without meat for 14 years now, with very little difficulty even at the very beginning.

Giving up dairy, on the other hand, almost killed me. So much comfort food is dairy! Hot chocolates, milk chocolates, cheesecake, milkshakes, and, oh, yes...macaroni 'n cheese, my top comfort food of ALL TIME.

I really, really missed it.

Thank goodness, MrD's dietary restrictions have been gradually easing off over the last few months, and today I finally took the plunge.

Insane amounts of yummy Welsh cheddar cheese, melted into whole milk, baked with steaming-hot macaroni and minced garlic under a bread-crumb topping...when I took it out of the oven, the smell alone nearly sent me into shock, after so long without. As I ate it, I consciously took the time to savor every single moment.

Going without macaroni 'n cheese (and dairy in general) for so long...well, it was kind of like having a long-distance relationship. Sometimes you have to do it, because for important reasons you and your partner just have to be in different parts of the world for a while; the one truly wonderful side-effect is that it feels SO GREAT to come back together afterwards, because you missed each other SO MUCH and you appreciate each other now on a WHOLE NEW LEVEL...

But really, you just never want to leave each other ever, ever again.

I'm so happy to have you back in my life, mac 'n cheese.

What about you guys? What are your favorite comfort foods? And/or: what small pleasure have you enjoyed most, lately?

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Or at least, I will as soon as I can pick myself up again. I'm currently lying, limp with relief, on the couch, eating cheddar cheese and apple slices as a reward for great exertions. (Alas, I'm out of chocolate chip cookies. At least I'm not forced to resort to salad as my comfort food...not yet...)

In the category of REALLY COOL! events which are also REALLY SCARY!, this week I had my first-ever phone interview with a reporter, followed this morning by a visit from a photographer from the newspaper. I would normally be a little nervous about both of these anyway, since they're first-time-ever events for me, but to be honest, what absolutely freaked me out this time was the house. I've been reassured by someone I love and trust that ALL parents of young children have messy houses...well, I really want to believe that. Please don't tell me if it isn't true!

(Actually, I have to admit that I do remember visiting one or two clean houses that young children have lived in. Urk. Well, I'm just not going to let myself remember those...)

I spent yesterday cleaning frantically, but of course the problem with having a young child and a dog is that they don't actually want to live in a sterile environment where the toys stay in their boxes and never come out. (How unreasonable of them!) Sooooo, this morning when MrD left to visit his childminder, I was still in my pyjamas with bedhead and sleep-crusted eyes, I had about an hour to prepare the house, and not only was the living room just as messy as it had been yesterday, but it had the extra-cool addition of stuffed-goose innards spread all across the floor, because Maya had chosen this morning as the perfect moment to rip open her new toy.

Aaghh. Those of you on UK- or Australian-time who read my twitter account may remember the ever-so-slight tinge of mounting hysteria to my tweets...

Luckily, it all worked out in the end. The house didn't look like a model home, but the living room looked, well, reasonably tidy - by our standards, at least. The photographer was a really nice guy who told me some genuinely fascinating World War II stories that made my mind start buzzing with cool new story ideas. And he absolutely promised me that none of the electrical junk (back-up hard drives, etc.) that we'd piled in one corner would end up in the photos. Whew.

Now I'm luxuriating in the sensation of having a reasonably clean house, being nicely made-up for the first time in several months, AND knowing that I'm finished with scary things...well, at least until this Sunday, when I'm doing my first official author event at a local street party! But at least that's going to be small and low-key, and I'm telling myself not to worry about it. Not until Sunday morning, anyway, when I'm next due to start panicking and moaning about why am I not better at putting on make-up, why am I not [insert neurosis], why, why, why...

OK. I'm back to taking deep breaths and reminding myself that I used to do public recitals and concerts all the time. I learned how to deal with stage fright then, and I can absolutely do it again. This "author" aspect of the writing lifestyle is definitely a bit of a shock after the last couple years of being a stay-at-home mom and hermit-y writer...but it's also most definitely good for me.

But can I ask some advice? What do you guys do to get yourselves through nerve-wracking new challenges? Any suggestions would be HUGELY appreciated right now.

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And thanks to everybody who entered the competition, for increasing my TBR list! :) (That is actually a good thing, no matter what our groaning bookshelves might think...)

Today was a day of total decadence. This morning, I got my first haircut in (drumroll) FIVE MONTHS, and ohhhh, did I need it. When I admitted to the (new-to-me) hairdresser how long it had been since my last cut, she actually gasped in disbelief and horror. This is the thing about working at home - or rather, the combination of working at home AND having a small child. My focus is divided between childcare, writing, and desperately trying to keep the house from falling apart; somehow doing things for myself like getting haircuts (even when my bangs have grown almost to my chin and I wince every time I see myself in a mirror) never makes it onto the list, because I don't have the external pressure of running into other adults at work every day.

On the other hand, this haircut feels SO good. My head feels so light, and I keep on reaching up to touch my nice short hair, just for the sheer pleasure of it. And since I'm actually going to be doing a bunch of public events in the next few months, I might just remember to make time for another cut even before my bangs start trying to eat my face again.

This afternoon was even more of the same, since MrD and I went into town together and indulged in a shopping frenzy: lots of cool stuff for him and a new pair of jeans that actually fits (shock! horror!) for me, along with a stop in at the printing shop to order up invites to my launch party. (My publisher designed them for me, thank goodness.) We ended up at a great child-friendly café and just had a really nice time together.

I always remember that it's important to work hard and take care of other people. But I don't always remember how good it is to take care of myself, too. Today was a good reminder.

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I had a big musical crisis (no, really) three years ago, when I resigned from my job at an opera company, officially dropped out of my music history PhD program, and lost all professional musical ties. Add in the fact that I'd started out as a performing musician (I went to the Oberlin College Conservatory of Music for undergrad and got a B.M. in French horn Performance as well as Music History), originally planning to play professionally as my dayjob...and you can maybe guess what a big life shift this was for me.

I wish I could say that I always react to big life shifts with grace. Unfortunately...no. No, no, no. Take this as one example: the week I got my degree in music performance, having accepted a Fulbright scholarship based on music history and having officially decided that I would not be a performing musician after all...I stopped playing the French horn. Period.

I'd been playing it for 12 years, devoting most of my waking hours to becoming a better and better musician, loving playing even after I realized it wasn't what I wanted as a career...but when I finished my degree and realized that I was now officially off the professional track, I just couldn't play anymore.

I wanted to play. I still miss - really, physically, painfully miss - playing the horn. I LOVED it. But every single time I've tried to pick it up again since 1999, all I can hear is the difference in how I sound now from how I sounded back when I was practicing 5 hours a day.

Not good. And I haven't found a way around that yet.

So. I resigned from my job at the opera company in 2007 because of the CFS, and I dropped out of the PhD program because, with my CFS-limited energy, I could either try to finish the PhD or I could write my fiction...and I'd already decided that I didn't want to be a professor (even if the CFS had allowed it). I've never regretted giving up the PhD except in the feeling that I was disappointing my supervisors. It was definitely the right decision to focus on the career I loved and wanted - writing - instead of the career I thought I should follow - academia - but, but, but...

For about a year afterward, I couldn't listen to classical music. And when you consider I'd been listening to it and loving it since I was tiny (my parents are both fans), playing it on one instrument or another since I was six, going to classical concerts or opera performances regularly ever since, and I was thirty when I made that second big life/career shift...

Big loss. Big, big loss. Luckily, unlike the French horn issue, I managed to mostly get over it within a year or so. I listen to it regularly again now, although I still find it painful to listen to the operas I was writing about for my PhD thesis, or to go to live orchestra concerts. (Back to the French horn again...) But for some reason I still have a hard time persuading myself to buy CDs - persuading myself that it's "worth it" - even though listening to music I love is one of the best feelings I know.

Well. This weekend, I bought a new CD. It's not classical, for once, but I adore it: Eva Cassidy's Wonderful World. (I used to own, and absolutely loved her album Songbird.) I bought it yesterday and have had it on nearly constant repeat ever since.

What about you guys? What's the most recent CD that you've bought? Have you had any major life-shifts that changed your identity? And do you have any good chocolate-chip cookie recipes to share? :)

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Now I'm going to go make myself more camomile tea...

ETA: This giveaway is now closed.

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On the other hand, sometimes it's moral or intellectual strength that appeals most to me, like in the case of Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, who tends to be the smartest & wittiest person in any room, and who utterly refuses to marry any man she doesn't respect, no matter how rich he might be. Jane Eyre is another example - she might be poor and plain and alone in the world, but she won't let anyone - not even the man she loves - pressure her into doing what she believes is morally wrong.

When I first heard about Erin Blakemore's book The Heroine's Bookshelf: Life Lessons from Jane Austen to Laura Ingalls Wilder, I was really intrigued. Then I read a draft of it, and fell head over heels in love.

Chapter by chapter, Erin talks about fabulous woman authors and the fictional heroines they created, from Jane Austen to Zora Neale Hurston, Laura Ingalls Wilder to Alice Walker. There are chapters on books I read and loved as a kid, like A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Anne of Green Gables, and I loved being reminded so beautifully of those books, and learning so many interesting new things about their authors. There are also chapters on books I've never read but now MUST read after her enticing descriptions of them, like Their Eyes Were Watching God. Each chapter gives tribute to the fabulous heroines Erin loves, and to the authors, flawed and fabulous heroines themselves, many of whom were battling truly horrific circumstances.

This is a book to sink into and LOVE. It's warm and fun and inspiring and also full of fascinating information. At the end of each chapter, Erin suggests times when these particular heroines - fictional or authorial - might be just what you need to get through your own difficult circumstances.

By the time I finished reading the book, I'd already realized that I wanted to buy copies for almost every woman I know. The book isn't out until October...but luckily, I can already start giving it away. Erin's donated one ARC of the book to be given to a reader of this blog. The giveaway is open internationally, and all you have to do is leave a comment telling me your favorite literary heroine. (She can be a fictional character or an author - either works!) I'll use a random number generator to pick a winner one week from today, on Wednesday July 14th.

So: who are your literary heroines? :)

ETA: This giveaway is now closed. Thanks so much to everyone who participated!

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When I first started researching about the lifestyle of a professional author, I found out about all these important practical things authors have to do, like introducing themselves to their local bookstores! Arranging launch parties! Designing invitations! Designing bookmarks! Writing press releases! Arranging all the food & drink details for their launch parties!

It all makes sense, right? There's only one problem: I am AWFUL at stuff like that. I love meeting people - I love hanging out with people who love books - but when it comes to organizing practical functions, I am hopelessly incompetent. Worse yet, at the very idea of introducing myself to a bookstore manager as an author (and one who WANTS SOMETHING from them, like a launch party!), I immediately shrivel inside. It's less than a month till my book comes out, and I still haven't summoned up the guts to introduce myself as an author to my local branch of Waterstones, or even to my wonderful local library.

I'd been getting more and more worried about this issue as it got closer and closer to my book's publication date. But now?

I love, love, love my publicist at Templar Books SO much. All those things I was dreading? She did them for me, without even blinking. Yesterday, she set up my launch party. I am having a real, live launch party!!!!!! I am so excited. And honestly, as pathetic as this is, I have to admit that it would probably never have happened if it had been left to me to organize. I would have spent the entire time up until my book's release just trying to talk myself into asking my local Waterstones to do it...and truly, I would never have gotten the guts to follow through. Luckily, my awesome publicist has plenty of guts to spare! :)

My launch party is at 6pm on Thursday, August 12th, at the Waterstones bookshop in Abergavenny, Wales.

This morning, it was my turn to sleep in after MrD woke up (Patrick and I take turns), but for once, I couldn't do it. I was already panicking. I would need invitations! I would need to DESIGN invitations! I can't design anything! I am artistically inept! OMG I WOULD HAVE NO INVITATIONS TO SEND! AAAAGGHHH!

Well. I just got an email from my publicist telling me (by pure coincidence) that she's getting some invitations designed for me to send out, as well as a whole bunch of bookmarks and postcards to promote the book (two things I'd been thinking I really ought to get done, but which intimidated me like crazy). She's also arranging and paying for the drinks and nibbles.

If she had been here instead of in Dorking, I would have fallen on her neck with tears of joy and gratitude. (So if you're reading this, Phil - be very, very grateful that you're in Dorking instead of Wales right now! ;p )

I am a limp, happy, and most of all intensely relieved author right now. And I'm having a launch party!!!! Have I mentioned that yet????

Abergavenny is a great small town in a beautiful Welsh valley, with one ruined castle in the town center, another just out of town, and several really nice coffeeshops. (They sell the best vegan hazelnut brownies EVER!) Better yet, it's got a great train service and is a very easy, short train ride from Bristol, Cardiff, and pretty much anywhere in the southern half of the UK.

I know a lot of the people who read this blog are in the U.S. or Canada, and of course I will not be offended if you don't all immediately hop onto a plane to come party with me...but I do wish that all of you could! And for anyone who CAN come:

Free drinks! Free nibbles! Party prizes! And as much as I get intimidated by event-organization and practical design skills, I LOVE hanging out at parties with other people who love books.

I would really, really love to see you guys there!

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I hope you enjoy the entry, and please do leave a comment over there if one occurs to you, because Lindsey is giving away copies of her (really fun & funny) book Princess for Hire and Jessica Leader's book Nice and Mean (which sounds great, although I haven't read it yet) to random commenters!

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Tim, please send me a message with your mailing address, and I'll put your signed proof in the mail ASAP.

And now that the business segment of this entry is taken care of...we need to talk about a problem. A serious problem.

A problem that Tricia Sullivan caused. This: 

Divine Chocolate's Fruit and Nut Dark Chocolate bar.

Here's the thing: I've always eaten a bit of chocolate every day. For the last year or two, I even ate some of a Divine Chocolate bar every day, usually their dark chocolate-mint flavor. (As far as I'm concerned, Divine is the Willy Wonka of the chocolate world - and not only is it the yummiest chocolate I've ever found, it's even fair trade, too! Irresistible.) But I always had self-control. I never ate more than six (small!) squares in a day.

Then Tricia came to visit, and brought me a bar of their fruit & nut chocolate.

I've never liked chocolate with fruits inside. I had Dire Suspicions. But it was a gift, and I wanted to properly appreciate it, so I took a bite, shrugged, took another...and devoured half a bar in the next five minutes.

I haven't found my self-control since.

There has GOT to be something addictive in those bars!

Sadly, although I've tried going back to the old mint-dark chocolate bars I used to like (and be able to control!), I can't stop myself. Now I always choose the fruit & nuts bars when they're available. And then...

Sigh. Something Must Be Done. But not until I finish this current bar, obviously...

What about you guys? What are your favorite chocolate (or just candy) treats?

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(And yes, I have seen it, so I do know it really isn't all that good...but I just can't help myself. It's a Jane Austen adaptation that isn't absolutely terrible - so I have to have it and watch it, over and over and over again! It's like a sickness...but a fun one, at least.)

Yesterday was a happy day, too, because MrD and I went into town for adventures and made an unexpected and wonderful discovery: there were real, live owls in town! It was an outreach program being run by The Welsh Owl and Wildlife Sanctuary. MrD loves owls but had never seen any in person before, and I hadn't seen any since I was a young kid. We spent a long time just hanging out watching the owls, donated some coins to their collection jar, and will probably be either buying a WOWLS membership or adopting an owl very soon.

We also went through a bunch of charity shops, which is always fun. Charity shops might be my favorite aspect of living in a British town - so many cheap, cheap books and clothes (charity shops are the UK equivalent of thrift shops), and all for such good causes! Yesterday I got to feel virtuous about donating a bit of money to Oxfam and the Marie Curie society, while at the same time picking up incredibly cheap clothes, books and toys for MrD and for me. Shopping glee + virtue = score! ;)

Today has been a quiet day apart from my online book-buying binge. I finally watched the second part of the Doctor Who season finale, and ohhhhhh, I loved it. But I can't believe I have to wait until Christmas for more! I really loved David Tennant as Doctor Who, but the switch to Steven Moffat (my very favorite writer in television) as the show's head writer has been such a good move, and Matt Smith is so good as his own version of the Doctor, that I've coped with the change in cast much better than I'd expected.

What about you guys? What have been the highlights of your weeks so far?

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I am really, really proud of my brother.

Second, this morning there was a knock on the door, much, much too early - but for a fabulous reason. The cover proofs for A Most Improper Magick had arrived! And ohhhh, they're beautiful. They're fun to touch, too! The gold-foiled bits are bumpy, and the shiny white bits feel really smooth against the matte cover...I spent way too long just stroking them, as you can probably guess. ;)

Here are the cover proofs hanging out on the lounger in our patio, enjoying the bright sunshine of our insanely hot summer. (Does the weather not realize that we are in Wales? What is it thinking????)

The best part is that my editor sent me three proofs of the cover. I'm going to keep one, probably to frame; I'm going to save another to give away at my launch party; but I want to give away the third one here, to one of you guys.

At first I was going to put all kinds of sensible conditions on the giveaway, like that you must retweet it or post about it or whatever. But then I thought: y'know, a lot of you guys have been reading my blog for a LONG TIME, some of you from all the way back in 2002 when the idea of me publishing a book - much less a trilogy - must have seemed like a crazy fantasy. (At least, it certainly felt like that to me, an awful lot of the time!) And that deserves something nice in return right now, without a lot of marketing-style fanfare. 

So here's the thing. If you'd like a signed cover proof, just leave a comment here, telling me that you would like it. Then I'll use a random number generator to pick a winner on Thursday, July 1st, because that's exactly one month before the book will be published in the UK.

I can't wait. And thank you guys so much for hanging out with me along the way!

Note: This giveaway is now closed.

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Johnny Lee Miller IS Byron!!!!

And it showed a photo of Johnny Lee Miller (aka, Mr Knightley in the most recent TV version of Emma) with really, really poofy hair and a mad grin on his face.

I looked at it. I turned it over to look on the back cover for any good reviews that could possibly imply that it really was a good miniseries. There were none. No quotes at all...about the movie, at least.

The one quote on the back cover, made to look as if it were about the movie, yelled in big letters: "Mad, Bad, AND Dangerous to Know!"

...which, y'know, is actually an old quote about Byron, not about this particular two-parter. But I read the back cover anyway.

WILL Society's darling find that he has gone too far if he has an affair with his half-sister? Will he?

I couldn't help myself. I checked it out.

Here's the thing: if Byron were set in modern-day London, I wouldn't have felt an ounce of temptation. But set a piece in Regency England, and I just can't help myself. I think, Wellllll, how bad can it be?

Of course, all too often, the answer is: VERY bad. We'll see how this one goes...knock on wood!

What about you guys? What are your favorite trashy movies/TV shows? The ones you might not respect in the morning, but you couldn't help watching anyway?

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You can read the story behind the cut...

Blue Joe
By Stephanie Burgis

Josef Anton Miklovic, Blue Joe, was twenty-one years old and playing the sax in a nightclub in Youngstown, Ohio, when he met his father for the first time.

Joe was on stage with his family band: Karl on keyboard, hunched and intense; Niko on drums, grinning his lopsided, dreamer's grin; and Ivan, as smooth and polished as a Croatian Clark Gable, playing his shining trumpet like a peal up to heaven.

Smoke swirled across the tables, obscuring the waitresses in their Betty Boop outfits and the customers in their sharp suits, with dyed blondes on their arms. Ivan had hooked up with the son of a local mob boss to pull this job, and the rest of the brothers knew how lucky they were to get it. Ivan had big plans, and Joe was happy to go along with them.

Joe soared into his lead break, and at the end of it, as he emerged sweating and victorious, he met the fierce gaze of a hawk-nosed man at the back of the room, through all the smoke and the darkness. Time froze around them, and the music stopped.

"You don't look much like your mother," the man said as he crossed the room. He wore a long black coat from a different era, and it flapped around him like the wings of a crow.

Joe squinted through the smoke, watching the man sidestep frozen Betty Boops and customers' arms flung out in mid-gesture. Joe's brothers were as still as statues on the stage around him, and he thought he probably ought to be scared.

"Everyone always said I took after her," he said mildly.

"All they meant was, you don’t look like that lump she married." The man reached the stage and jumped up onto it as easily as if it were only an inch high, instead of four feet from the ground. "You take after me."

Joe looked the man up and down and knew it to be true. They shared the same crazy golden eyes, the same jet-black hair, though Joe's was slicked back into fashionable lines, and the same great, hooked nose, about which Joe's brothers had always teased him.

He turned to look at his brothers now, and the man before him shook his head.

"No. They're not mine. Your mother and I had parted ways by then. But I told her I'd come for you to raise you right, when I was ready."

"And you waited till now?" Joe laughed, despite the shock. "You left it a bit late, don't you think?"

"It took time to make my way over. Do you remember the journey you took?"

Joe shook his head. "I was only a baby when we came over to the States."

"Well, I took a longer route. It's harder to leave the old country, for some."

Some. Joe didn't know exactly what the  man meant, but he didn't care to ask, not with the rest of the nightclub frozen around them like stills in a newsreel. Whatever power this man had, it was obviously more than the local mob, and that was enough to scare anyone with sense.

"I'm here now," the man said, "and it's more than time. Your mother hid you too well." He fixed Joe in his hawk-like gaze. "Time to go."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." Joe stepped backward, crashing into Karl's keyboard. "I've got family."

"I'm your family."

"Uh-uh." Joe drew strength from his brothers' presence around him, even though they couldn't move. "I'm in a band. We're going places together. Might even break into Hollywood, if we're lucky."

His father snorted. "You're as stupid as your stepfather, if you really think that."

"I'm with my brothers," Joe said. "We're a team." He squared his jaw. "We can have a beer sometime and talk, if you like. But it's too late for you to act like a real father now."

"You'll change your mind," his father said. Anger flared deep and raw in his gaze. "I promise you. You'll change your mind."

Black, choking smoke erupted around him, making Joe tear up. He bent over, coughing...

And the music started up around him again, as if it had never stopped.

A black feather lay on the stage next to Joe's polished shoes.

Three days later, his draft papers arrived in the mail. Six days later, Joe shipped out to training camp, carrying his saxophone by his side but leaving his brothers behind.

#

Joe was on patrol in Germany the next time he saw his father. It was the middle of the night and he was alone on his shift when a great black wolf slunk out of the shadows and shifted into the shape of a man in a long black coat.

"Evening, Joe," his father said.

"Evening," Joe said, keeping his voice even. He kept walking as his father fell into step beside him. "Pleased with yourself?" he asked.

"Not really. It meant another long trip, and I don't care for travel."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you got me drafted."

"You had to learn a lesson."

"If you mean you've got a nasty temper, I've learned that for sure."

"No," Joe's father said. He stopped walking and stared Joe in the eye as he intoned the words with a street preacher's intensity. "In the end, you're alone. You're always alone."

"Not tonight," Joe said. "Unfortunately."

He started walking again, leaving his father behind.

"You don't know what you're giving up," his father called after him. "I can take you away from all this, boy."

"Too late," Joe called back, without turning around.

His brothers had marched down together to the recruiting office the day Joe's draft papers had come through. That was his family, all over. Sure, Ivan had had big plans, but when it came down to it, they were a team.

They couldn't argue the Army into putting them all in the same unit, but they made a bargain. All of them had joined the army bands, and they saw it as good practice. As soon as the war ended, they'd be back on the road to Hollywood.

When Joe came back on his next rotation to the spot where he'd left his father behind, all he saw was a tuft of long black fur. He shook his head and let it lie forgotten on the ground.

#

Joe didn't see his father for the next three years, and he didn't miss the old man, either. He marched through days and nights of war, playing his sax for the unit, until the endless German rain rusted his beautiful instrument beyond repair. He played a shoddy borrowed replacement, provided by the army, to cheer the troops as they marched into towns filled with thousands of corpses lying piled on the ground, the aftermath of successful air raids. By nighttime, the corpses had been cleared from the streets with grim efficiency, but their faces filled Joe's dreams, to a soundtrack of the jazzy two-steps he played in the army band.

The day the keys of his second saxophone rusted over for good, Joe thought he'd tasted true despair. But he was wrong. That came later, when he got the telegrams.

Karl, who played keyboard with the intensity of a man possessed by angels, who'd dreamed nothing but music notes since he was a four-year-old kid, had had his left hand shot off in an accident in the Pacific. Looked like he wouldn't be playing in any band, in Hollywood or anywhere else.

And Ivan, slick, movie star-handsome Ivan with his great big dreams for the family, was dead, killed by a German sniper as he'd marched with his band.

If Joe's father had appeared to him then, Joe might well have killed him.

But his father didn't come.

Joe played a third saxophone, so harsh and squeaky it would have pained him to hear himself play if he'd ever bothered to listen. He was with the army unit that liberated two concentration camps, and the horrors sank deep into his skin and stayed there, like the hollow-eyed stares of the survivors.

The night his unit found out that the war was over, Joe saw his father for the third time.

There was a party in the camp, everyone celebrating with hectic gaiety. Booze flowed hard and fast, as if it could wash away the memories. Joe left after the first round of toasts.

He sat alone in the darkness, smoking one of the free cigars that had been passed around the party. A small black cat crept through the shadows to sit next to him. Joe eyed it warily and didn't reach out a hand to pet it. A moment later, he knew he'd been right, as the cat shifted into his father's shape.

"Well, Joe," his father said.

"Well," Joe said.

It was hard to tell for sure in the dark, but he thought his father looked older and more haggard since the last time they'd met. The black coat billowed out over a skinnier frame, though the golden eyes were just as fierce in the hollow face.

A year ago, Joe would have killed the man on first sight. Now he just kept on smoking, too numb to move or say any more. Faint light and the sound of voices filtered out from the mess hall nearby.

"My condolences," Joe's father said.

Joe stopped smoking and looked up sharply. He couldn't read an expression on his father's shadowed face.

"They wouldn't have been here if it weren't for you," he said.

"Who?" his father said.

They blinked at each other in mutual surprise. Then his father said,

"I was talking about your mother. She passed away two nights ago, in her sleep. I thought that you should know."

Joe took a deep breath. Then he kneaded his fingers over his forehead, closing his eyes against the lance of pain.

He wasn't completely numb yet, after all.

"She was a good woman," his father said, tentatively. "She did her best for you. By her standards."

Joe nodded. He couldn't speak.

"I was thinking," his father said. "I could take you back to see her, if you want."

Joe looked up. "You could do that?"

"I could," his father said. "She would have liked it."

"Did you—?"

"I was with her at the end," his father said. "She'd forgiven me, by then."

Joe tasted a story he'd never know, and let it go. "Fine," he said to his father. "Take me."

That was the night Joe found out what it meant to be his father's son.

They flew some way as crows at the beginning of the journey, but crows weren't fast or strong enough for an ocean crossing. They turned into smoke for part of that, then caught a lift on the wings of a military airplane.

Flying in the cold, thin altitudes, half disintegrated into smoke, Joe felt the wind blow through the pain. Pure, freezing numbness overcame him, and finally, he thought he understood what his father always felt.

Freedom. He could have flown forever, and never had to touch his pain or memories again.

At the end, well past midnight on a dark, cold Ohio night, they shifted back into human shape to jimmy open the window of the funeral home and crawl inside to the room where Joe's mother was laid out for viewing.

Joe touched her cold fingers and tried not to cry in front of his father.

"She was the prettiest girl in Kravarsko," his father said. "She wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. Not even me."

"She turned us into a team," Joe said. He looked down into his mother's face, calm beneath the layers of paint, and for the first time in over a year, he felt a clear point of resolution form underneath the brittle shell of numbness and the swirling, scattered layers of pain that had been hidden underneath. "She's the reason we all take care of each other."

"Well. That." His father cleared his throat. "I heard about your brothers and what happened. So. I guess there isn't going to be a band, after all. No more plans of Hollywood."

"Hollywood?" Joe almost laughed as he looked up from his mother to his father's fierce golden eyes. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"I didn't cause your brother's death," Joe's father said. "But it's been some time since then. I thought you might be ready to move on." He took a breath. "I thought you might be ready to come with me, now. Now that you know what it's like."

At that moment, Joe glimpsed something he'd never expected to see on his father's face. It was fear, pure and simple...and there was something else mixed in.

Loneliness.

Flying high above the ground, you could always feel free. Now that Joe had tasted that freedom, he felt the difference himself, standing thick and heavy on the ground, weighted down by human concerns, all the cares and sorrows that his father would never know.

But that wasn't enough.

"I'm sorry," Joe said, speaking to his father gently for the first time since they'd met. "It's too late for me now. It's not your fault. But I need to get back to my unit. I've got responsibilities."

"But—"

"There might not be a band," Joe said. "But my brothers and I are still a team." He hesitated and drew a breath, releasing the anger he'd carried with him for so long. "You could come and stay with us sometime. Anytime, really. I—"

Before he'd even stopped speaking, his father shook his head. The golden gaze shuttered, but not before Joe glimpsed the raw pain hidden behind the fierceness.

"Too late," his father said, and it sounded like the harsh cawing of a bird that knows it's lost all hope. "Too late."

#

Three of them came back from the war: Joe, without a saxophone, Karl, without a hand, and Niko, whose goofy lopsided grin had turned into a mask of sorrow. They gathered in their mother's house and huddled together, waiting for inspiration.

Ivan had always been the one with the big ideas. Ivan was gone. But the brothers were still a team.

Joe was cleaning out the attic one hot and dusty afternoon when he found his father's final message to him. Buried underneath the rubble of twenty years, he glimpsed the corner of a shining black leather case.

At first, he didn't know what it was. Then he lifted away the piles of old clothing that had covered it and saw its sleek rectangular lines, and his breath caught in his throat.

He undid the clasps and swung the case open.

A perfect, golden saxophone lay inside, gleaming and new.

Joe stared at it a long moment, caught between sharp, prickling emotions.

Finally, he reached out and picked up the saxophone. It fit perfectly into his hands.

As he lifted it out of the case, a black feather slipped out of the bell of the instrument and fluttered onto Joe's knee.

Joe let out a huff of breath that could have been either a laugh or a sob. A box of fresh reeds sat tucked in the case. He took one out and moistened it, even as tears blurred his vision. He fitted the mouthpiece onto the body of the sax and closed his eyes as he lifted it to his lips. He could already hear the wailing tune that wanted to be born.

Within a year, that tune would make his name in the nightclubs of Youngstown and Cleveland.

Five years from then, every jazz fan in the country would know the names of Blue Joe and his backup band—Niko on drums, grinning the loopy, lopsided, visionary grin of a man who's touched despair and been reborn into hope; and Karl, playing the keyboard like a demon with only one hand, worshipped by jazz fans everywhere for the uniqueness of his vision.

But at that moment, as Joe accepted his father's gift, he only knew one thing:

Maybe it wasn't too late after all.

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I just read a blog entry where the writer asked people to tell her what they thought dads were ideally supposed to do, if they were doing fatherhood "right"...and my first thought was, Um...exactly what moms are supposed to do. What's the difference?

I feel very, very lucky to have grown up with a great dad who showed us by example that dads could and should do all the things that moms do, from reading books out loud to changing diapers to cleaning and cooking and everything else that's involved in child-rearing. Having two equally committed and loving parents, in every aspect of life, is amazing luck for any child. And as a mom, I LOVE the fact that Patrick is an equal co-parent to MrD in every way. He's not just doing the gendered job of a "dad" - he's doing the job of a parent, which is so much bigger and more important.

And having thought through all this, of course I was even more frustrated than usual as I searched for Father's Day cards this year. Why are so many of them so sexist and obnoxious, or just so narrowly stereotyped? Not all dads love to play golf and to fish! Not all dads watch football!

Sigh. It just brings back all those horrible, frustrating shopping trips as a kid at this time of year, as I searched in vain through the department store displays of "gifts for Father's Day"...which were universally hopeless and a zillion lightyears away from the taste of my own dad, who didn't golf OR fish OR watch football.

Honestly. Had he just not read the "dad" handbook? Or were the stores completely brainwashed by some alien pod-person's idea of what a "dad" is supposed to be?

Personally, I'm voting for the alien brainwashing.

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(Click here to see the larger image.)

The cover artist was Anne Yvonne Gilbert, and the cover was designed by Tom Sanderson.

All the gold bits will be foiled, and the white bits will be shiny!

I am so, so happy about this cover. Every time I look at it, I feel like crying in wonder all over again. So this is a great day to give something away. And according to the random number generator at random.org, the winner of the Marie Brennan ARC is: bookblather! Congratulations, and please email me your mailing address so I can send you your ARC!

It's been a really, really good day. :)

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I'm sorry to tease by saying this and then not actually showing you guys the cover, but I'm not allowed to share it publicly yet. I really hope I can SOON - but in the meantime, it just would have felt really wrong to write a journal entry today and not mention the new cover, because it made such a difference to my day (and week and month!). It's been many hours since I got that email, but I've still got the PDF of the cover open in another window on my computer, and I haven't gone more than half an hour between ogling sessions ever since I first opened it. ;)

There are some days when writing is easy, some when it's hard, some when it's angst-ridden, interfered with by panic about publishing issues or fear of what people will think of the book or, or, or [insert neurosis here!]...and then there are days like today, when I am just filled with awe that I have been so, so lucky.

(And I wish I could go back in time and show this cover to the self of 7 years ago, who was - at just about exactly this time of year - taking Nika on long walks in the woods and crying the terrible kind of wrenching tears as she walked, because she was so convinced that she would never, ever manage to sell a novel or even a short story, EVER. It really was worth all those years of crazy, stubborn persistence in the face of all the odds, to get here.)

In other news, the 2010 Clarion West write-a-thon is about to begin. I finished the first draft of A Most Improper Magick during the first write-a-thon, and the first draft of A Tangle of Magicks (Kat2) during the 2nd; then last year I set myself super-ambitious goals that turned out to be way too challenging for life with a young baby who would only nap on my lap. This year, I've tried to figure out goals that are both challenging AND honestly do-able. I'm hoping to finish the rewrite of Kat3 and write 40 pages of some other project/s, whether that means the dragon book or a new short story or something completely different.

My write-a-thon page is here. I'll be really grateful if any of you donate in support - going to the Clarion West workshop was the best decision I ever made for my writing career (not to mention my personal life, since I met Patrick there!), and I could never have afforded to attend if I hadn't been given scholarship money. The write-a-thon raises money to give scholarships - and thereby opportunity - to other new writers who couldn't afford the workshop otherwise.

But even if you don't donate, I'll just be really grateful for the moral support as I work toward my writing goals this summer.

And my very last link - today I interviewed Angie Frazier about her wonderful YA debut historical-adventure-fantasy novel, Everlasting (which Heidi Kling called "Part Titanic, Part Raiders of the Lost Ark with a spunky teenager heroine"). You can read the interview here!

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Well. Unfortunately, that's not what's happening right now, because Patrick's still not feeling well himself, so all of my energy is being funneled into childcare and housecare, leaving very little energy for writing...and as much as I love blogging and writing emails, they can't take priority over my contracted novels. So I'm guessing that blog entries will continue to be scattered for a while, and I really apologize to everyone I owe emails to.

Have I mentioned how much I really hate CFS? :(

I'm still popping up a bit more often on twitter, because 1-line updates are more do-able than full blog entries - if you're there, you can find me at http://www.twitter.com/stephanieburgis - and otherwise...please know that I miss you guys and can't wait to come back to regular blogging and emailing! In the meantime, though, here's a quick roundup of some of my favorite things from the past couple of weeks:

Nigella Lawson
I have finally become a Nigella convert. I'd seen a couple episodes of her various cooking shows on TV and never been won over, but then I checked out her cookbook Nigella Express last Friday and fell in love. Luscious photos of food that's fast and easy to prepare (and so far, that promise has been upheld in all the recipes I've tried from the cookbook, all of which have been delicious as well as easy to make) - and I love, love LOVE the way she writes about the food. Her long, chatty intros to each recipe are lushly written and make the cookbook fun to read on its own, even if you don't do any cooking. I was completely blissed-out by the end of an afternoon spent reading it on the couch, even before I tried a single recipe. My only sorrow was that there aren't nearly enough vegan-convertible recipes included for my liking...but if that isn't an issue for you, there's really no downside to this cookbook.

Lisa Mantchev's Perchance to Dream book trailer
So dreamy and beautiful! I loved it. And as you guys know, I'm a huge fan of Lisa's books. Check it out:

Marie Brennan's A Star Shall Fall
I was lucky enough to get an ARC for this, and loved it. Eighteenth-century fantasy based around the impending arrival of Halley's Comet, with scenes of faeries debating real eighteenth-century scientific theory...it made my geeky, eighteenth-century-loving heart extremely happy. :) And have I mentioned yet that Halley's Comet is connected to a very, very cool and frightening dragon???? Here's what I wrote about it on Goodreads:

A beautifully written fantasy novel. The magic is perfectly interwoven with 18th-century British history and scientific theory, and the characters and their emotions are wonderfully complex.

I loved Book One in Brennan's Onyx Court series (Midnight Never Come, which was really fun), and I admired Book Two (In Ashes Lie) for how ambitious it was, but A Star Shall Fall is my favorite of Marie Brennan's novels so far, and it stands alone perfectly - you definitely don't need to have read either of the earlier Onyx Court books to enjoy this one.

If you like smart adult historical fantasy (and note, this is adult rather than MG or YA, so while there aren't any explicit sex scenes, there are complex romantic relationships and it is written in a different tone than fantasy for kids), I'm guessing that you might like this a LOT...and although it isn't due to be published until the end of August, you can read a copy sooner than that just by commenting on this entry.

Tell me either (a) your personal favorite historical period, (b) your favorite historical fantasy novel, OR (c) why you want to read it even though you don't have favorite periods OR historical fantasy novels....and you'll be entered to win my ARC from me! (Shameful note: the cover of this ARC is a little beaten-up, because MrD got hold of it. HOWEVER, nothing has been damaged apart from the wrinkled cover.)

I'll pick a winner next Thursday. The giveaway is open internationally!

And now I'm going to rest for a little while before it's my turn to take over childcare again.

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GIRLS BEHAVING BADLY

Saundra Mitchell

In Spring 2011, A Most Improper Magick will be in my hot little hands, and I can't wait. It's exactly the kind of book I would have read ragged when I was a kid (and frankly, I'm gonna read it ragged now that I'm an adult.)

My favorite books growing up were always about girls behaving badly - which generally means, girls actually getting to go on adventures, seeing the world, and having every possibility. No one seems to think a boy is badly-behaved if he wants to sign onto a boat heading off to find fortunes in lands untold- but I digress.

I stuffed myself full of adventurous stories about adventurous girls - Tamora Pierce's Alanna was a favorite. So much so, that I nicknamed myself Alanna, after the princess of Tortall who wanted to be a knight instead of a sorceress. I got giddy on Marion Zimmer Bradley's Cassandra and Morgan le Fay. Stories about Deborah Sampson - who disguised herself as a boy to fight in the Revolutionary war - were favorites, too.

But no need for all firebrand girls to all pretend to be boys. Boudicca sacked London in her own gown: Harriet Tubman led the way on the Underground Railroad in her own dress. Rosa Parks was exactly herself when she refused to give up her seat on the bus, and while Hatshepsut wore the ornamented beard of a Pharaoh, there was no mistaking that she was a woman.

I've always been inspired by stories of girls behaving badly - and making a difference. They're the same kind of stories that my character Iris prefers, in Shadowed Summer. And while she may be stuck in a dying, rural town, Iris can look out at the world and become anything through books - I have no doubt that she'd see herself in Kat Stephenson.

And I'm glad, because as they say, a well-behaved woman never made history.

Shadowed Summer by Saundra Mitchell
In paperback June 8, 2010
www.shadowedsummer.com

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I finished Season 2 of The Gilmore Girls this weekend, and ohhhh, the ending of that season! Sad and wrenching but real, and with all sorts of intriguing new complications implied for the future. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Luckily, one of the best birthday presents I got was a gift certificate to Amazon.co.uk, so along with all the books I ordered, I also ordered the Season 3 boxset. Now I'm just waiting for Patrick to catch up on the last few episodes of Season 2 so we can watch Season 3 together!

One of the other birthday presents I really, really loved was Leah Cypess's Mistwood. It's YA high fantasy in the same vein as Kristin Cashore and Robin McKinley, and mmmm, it was so good - romantic, emotionally intense, and genuinely magical, with complex issues of independence and power interwoven through it. Definitely worth checking out if you love good high fantasy! You can read the first three chapters here.

I also particularly loved the way Mistwood threw into question the whole idea of "rightful", "true" kings. One thing that I don't personally like about a lot of American fantasy novels is how implicitly monarchy-loving so many of them are. I understand why it happens - we all grow up reading fairy tales with princes and princesses as heroes, and before I moved to the UK, I enjoyed that as a fantasy trope without ever thinking twice about it - but now that I'm living in a country with a continuing monarchy, it doesn't feel like such a harmless fantasy to play with anymore.

I don't mind authors using royal characters or setting their books in kingdoms - I hope I never become that cranky and unreasonable! - and a lot of great writers use the idea of rightful kings/queens to write wonderful books which I'd hate to miss out on just because of my own personal hang-ups. But, on a personal, subjective level, I just particularly enjoy reading books that do show some of the complexity and gray areas of real-life monarchies and class systems...because personally, I have a big problem with the idea that one person is better or more important than anyone else just because of the family they happened to be born into.

Rant over now! I promise. ;p But I really can't wait to read more Leah Cypess novels.

And I also wanted to wish a happy belated book birthday to two fabulous books that came out in America this past week: Lisa Mantchev's Perchance to Dream, the second book in her Theatre Illuminata YA fantasy trilogy (you can read the first chapter here); and Sarah Prineas's Magic Thief: Found, the third book in her Magic Thief trilogy. I was lucky enough to read multiple drafts of Perchance to Dream as Lisa was writing it, and it got better and better every time (and I'd loved even the very first draft!) - I can't wait to read the final version when my copy arrives. And I read Magic Thief: Found last week and enjoyed it so much - it gives an incredibly exciting conclusion to the trilogy, and the ending was just perfect, beautiful and right.

What about you guys? Which books or TV shows have you really enjoyed lately?

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It was a wonderful day.

I worry that it would be too immature to list all of my birthday presents online...but I will say (because I can't resist!) that that list would include Leah Cypess's Mistwood, Libba Bray's Going Bovine, Sarah Monette's Corambis and Nina Kiriki Hoffman's Fall of Light, among other awesome gifts...so in other words, I have been gloating very, VERY happily over my pile of presents ever since I got them yesterday morning. :)

One of the best birthday presents I got, though, actually came the night before, when my wonderful American editor wrote me an email saying that it would be perfectly fine for me to turn in Kat3 a full month later than planned. For the last few weeks, I'd been desperately wishing that I had at least 2 or 3 more days to get things right. To have a whole month is bliss beyond reckoning! I could actually feel all the sick tension evaporating out of my back and chest as I read the email.

I know I'm really perfectionist, and it sometimes causes problems. I know I could have turned in a draft this week and it wouldn't have been the end of the world, just a rougher-than-ideal draft. But I feel so, so much better now that I have faith that I can turn in a draft that honestly is as good as I want it to be, not just as good as I could make it by Monday.

I'm still working on my rewrite as hard as I can. But I'm doing it now with pleasure instead of with panic...and that makes a really nice difference.

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Sigh. It was totally worth it...but today, for the first time since British summer arrived, I haven't spent any time on the patio. My skin isn't quite ready yet for an encore.

Also, I'm on a tight deadline. Kat3 is due to my American editor one week from today. ACK! Yes, I will have a draft to send her no matter what - I'm doing a rewrite now, not a first draft - but ohhhh, I really want it to be a GOOD draft, as good as it deserves to be. And I'm panicking a little bit (...she said, understating wildly) about whether I'll manage that by next Monday.

So...journal entries and emails may be a bit sparse (and shorter than usual) this week.

Please wish me luck!

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This summer, I have discovered the definition of true bliss: lying outside on the lounger on the patio in our back yard, sipping a cold drink while baking in the warmth of the sun, feeling a breeze whisper across my skin, and closing my eyes to listen to the birds all around me.

Yes, I know it's only May. It's not officially summer. But here's something I learned in my very first summer in the U.K., seven years ago: anyone who wants to really enjoy a British summer has to learn to reach out and seize their opportunities. Right now it's hot and lush and sunny, so I'm enjoying my summer with all my heart...because many years of experience have taught me that June, July, and August may well be cold and rainy. (But then September may be gorgeous! Summer again!)

Anyway, when I'm lying out on the lounger, imagining an umbrella in my drink, I'm way too blissed-out to worry about dates on a calendar. ;)

And after a week of medical worries, followed by difficult financial decisions and a frantic rush to catch up on business-y paperwork - not to mention an oncoming book deadline...well, every so often, taking twenty minutes out to close my eyes and just soak in the peace in our back yard is priceless.

How about you guys? Do you want a break from the day? If anyone wants to join my virtual patio party, just leave a comment telling me what your particular cold drink of choice will be today!

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Of course, that means that I just took an unscheduled full week off of my Kat3 rewrite, which is due to my editor in just 12 days...eek. Let's hope that deadline panic inspires extreme efficiency...and that MrD is well enough to get at least a little bit of childcare from someone else very soon. *knocking on wood*

Oof. I feel like I'm just now starting to re-emerge, blinking, into the normal world after dropping into a black hole for the last week. (MrD got sick last Thursday - he's finally showing signs of real improvement now.) When MrD is sick - especially really, truly, scarily sick - it feels like the world compresses around me and becomes a completely different place, with muted colors and drastically different priorities than my normal life. Now I'm back, and trying to remember what I was doing and caring about a week ago.

Of course, that means that I just took an unscheduled full week off of my Kat3 rewrite, which is due to my editor in just 12 days...eek. Let's hope that deadline panic inspires extreme efficiency...and that MrD is well enough to get at least a little bit of childcare from someone else very soon. *knocking on wood*

(Normally Patrick and I share the parenting as equally as possible, and we also get 6 hours a week of childminding from someone we like very much. When MrD was most sick, though, Mama suddenly became the only one he wanted, and to be honest, I didn't even want anyone else looking after him - I wanted him right here in my arms, where I knew exactly how he was doing at every moment. But that's not exactly the perfect recipe for getting a big rewrite accomplished...and even since that full-on intensity has eased, when he's been napping or hanging out with Patrick - usually my prime writing time - I've been so exhausted and limp that I've had to rest, mentally as well as physically, to keep the CFS from rearing up and whopping me.)

Here are the three things that have carried me through the past week, though, during my time-out periods: <em>Glee</em> (I'm not exactly a fan, but I have gotten to the point where I watch whole episodes instead of fast-forwarding between the musical numbers - and I did love the whole Madonna episode); <em>Gilmore Girls</em>; and my newest and craziest addiction, for which I TOTALLY blame Karen Healey: <em>Hana Yori Dango</em>. It's a Japanese show, based on a manga (I think?) and featuring the most horrific romantic anti-hero ever...and yet it is insanely addictive.

If you want to know why - and why I hunted it down in the first place - just read Karen's entries about it, which start <a href="http://karenhealey.livejournal.com/874153.html">here</a>. She is not exaggerating AT ALL!

What about you guys? How are your weeks going? And what shows do you turn to when you need comfort/escape?

Here are the three things that have carried me through the past week, though, during my time-out periods: Glee (I'm not exactly a fan, but I have gotten to the point where I watch whole episodes instead of fast-forwarding between the musical numbers - and I did love the whole Madonna episode); Gilmore Girls; and my newest and craziest addiction, for which I TOTALLY blame Karen Healey: Hana Yori Dango. It's a Japanese show, based on a manga (I think?) and featuring the most horrific romantic anti-hero ever...and yet it is insanely addictive.

If you want to know why - and why I hunted it down in the first place - just read Karen's entries about it, which start here. She is not exaggerating AT ALL!

What about you guys? How are your weeks going? And what shows do you turn to when you need comfort/escape?

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Unfortunately...

MrD got sick with a horrible fever Wednesday night. In one piece of wonderful luck and grace, my UK editor emailed me Thursday morning (not even knowing that my son was sick) to offer me an out-of-the-blue extension on my line edits since she didn't need them until Monday, after all. I was soooooo grateful to get that offer, because it meant I could spend all of Thursday just looking after our poor sick little boy, who really needed full-on mama time.

Unfortunately, things got worse instead of better, and we ended up spending 8 hours checked into the pediatric unit of our local hospital yesterday, until the doctors could be certain that it was safe to take MrD back home.

We were really lucky - we were only dealing with a normal (albeit horrible and intense) childhood illness. We left after 8 hours with a box of medicine and the certainty that MrD will be just fine again within a day or two. Not all of the parents on the ward were that lucky.

I have a new set of heroes, now: every parent who had to stay on that ward. God, it takes strength to be a parent when your child is sick. There's nothing that hurts as badly as seeing your child in pain or fear; I don't know any parent who wouldn't automatically, without a moment's thought, volunteer and even beg to take the pain for themselves, if only it were possible - not out of kindness, but because it hurts so much worse when your child is the one who's suffering. And when they're in physical agony and there's nothing you can do to make it better, but you can't let them see your own fear...

There was one moment when the other mom in our room turned away from her daughter for less than a minute, while the nurses were adjusting her position in an attempt to ease the pain just a little bit. (It didn't work.) In that one moment that her daughter couldn't see her, the expression on the mom's face...oh, I hurt for her.

Then the nurse moved away, and the mom turned back, with a smile on her face. As she leaned over her daughter, soothing her through the pain, her voice was calm and bright and optimistic, as if everything was normal and she wasn't worried at all.

But I remembered that unguarded look, and I could guess what it was costing her to sound so calm and confident, for her daughter's sake.

I am so glad to be home today, with my little boy sleeping through his fever on my lap. But I'm thinking of the parents who are still on that ward.

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This morning: OMG. I got woken TWICE. I can't believe it. I feel like I'm going to die...

Yup. This is the unexpected side-effect of having a child who's just started sleeping through the night most of the time. (Four out of the last six nights!) Funny how quickly my body adjusts...in completely the wrong direction! I keep trying to remind myself that a couple of weeks ago, being woken only twice a night would have felt like an impossible dream. Oops. ;p

In the meantime, I am bursting with fascinating stuff that can't yet be shared, and it's driving me crazy.

I have seen my British cover! It is awesome! It even shimmers (no, really)!...but I can't show it to you guys yet. :(

I have found out that Kat will have a different series title and a different Book One title in the US, and as of last night, I even know what they will be...but I can't share them yet, either. :(

Aaaahhhh!

Imagine me hopping with impatience. Or maybe not. Like I said, I'm a bit tired today... ;)

However, if anyone wants a signed copy of the UK edition, in particular - or just wants the chance to read the book months before it's published in America! - you can do a good thing for Nashville at the same time by bidding on the signed UK paperback edition here. It's part of the Do the Write Thing for Nashville auction to support flood relief, which is also offering up a ton of other fabulous items from authors, editors and agents.

I'll sign the paperback copy of A Most Improper Magick and send it to the winner as soon as I receive my author copies, which will be at least five months before the US edition comes out, and quite possibly more (since the US edition may not come out until later in the spring - the exact date is still in flux).

And in the meantime, I wanted to recommend one of my new very favorite books, Jaclyn Moriarty's Feeling Sorry for Celia. I first discovered Jaclyn Moriarty as a writer by reading a guest blog she wrote on Justine Larbalestier's blog. That entry was beautiful and made me want to read more, so I went to check out her own blog, which is wonderful, and I got completely addicted. Finally, I decided to try her first book, hoping to enjoy it since I liked her blog writing so much...

...and oh. Oh. I loved it so, so much. Feeling Sorry for Celia is a story about a girl whose best friend (Celia) is out of control, and it's about friendship and family and change. It's told in letters and notes to and from the teenage heroine. Some of them are real (her mum's fabulous notes, left on the fridge, are among my favorite); some of them are imaginary, from groups like The Association of Teenagers (or, Young Detectives), berating the heroine for her inadequacies; they're all equally wonderful. I love the characters, I love the story, and I love that it was one of the funniest books I've read and yet also included some parts that made me want to cry.

It's the first in her Ashbury High series, and now I can't wait to read all the rest. I already know I'll be re-reading Feeling Sorry for Celia many, many times.

What about you guys? What books have you loved recently?

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On UK Mother's Day, I talked about me and my experience of being a mother. On US Mother's Day, I wanted to talk about my mother. I don't usually do this, because I try not to talk online about anyone who doesn't have an online presence. I don't think it's fair to invade their privacy.

But - without getting into any invasive personal specifics - I just really wanted to say, publicly, how lucky I have been, all through my life, to have such a strong woman role model to look up to. When I was a kid, my mom told me all the time that I was strong enough and smart enough to do anything I wanted to. That's priceless stuff to hear, over and over again. More than that, though, she showed me that that was true by modeling achievement herself, changing careers when I was a kid, starting from the bottom rung and rising to the top through dedication, incredibly hard work, and, oh yeah, the fact that she's really, really good at it.

I can't even begin to explain just how important that was for me to see...especially when so many of the girls I knew in high school - even in the 1990s! - were being told by their moms that it was pointless to try for any difficult career that they might not be smart enough to handle, or that it was pointless to go for a demanding career that they'd just have to quit once their husbands or babies came along.

Now, as an adult pursuing the career I always wanted - which is, yes, difficult and scary and rewarding - I think of my mom all the time as a role model of how to do it, even though we're in different fields. I think of her as a model for achievement and professionalism, and also as a model for how to mix a demanding career with strong, caring parenting. My brothers and I have never been allowed to doubt for a single moment how much we are loved...and that's even more priceless than all the rest, for a child (even a grown-up child).

So: thank you so much, Mom. I love you.

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Sorry for all the exclamation points, but...this is a Big Deal. I don't even know if I can express what a big deal it is without going into brain-numbing details, but...oh, wow. I just had my first night of sleep unbroken by any baby wakeups AT ALL for over 19 months. (And up until a few days ago, those wakeups had been coming every 1-2 hours a night ever since January 2009. So...)

Yup. I could hum all day long, today. :)

Then I checked my email and was reminded immediately of why WisCon is my favorite con in the whole world. One of the organizers had written to me to say he was worried that we had paid for our memberships and weren't going to be able to use them...so would we like a full refund?

Would we? I had just assumed that wouldn't be possible. It isn't possible with most cons. But WisCon is really special, for this among so many other reasons. I love you, WisCon!!!! And I really hope to be back very soon, even though it won't be this year.

After my email check, as I was finishing my breakfast, I read this horrifying essay by Hanif Kureishi's sister, which pretty much expresses exactly how toxic and terrible it can be for a brother and sister to both be writers...which made me feel so, so intensely grateful for my own two writing brothers. According to Yasmin Kureishi,

I remember a few years ago, after my father died, I'd won a competition for a play I wrote, and Hanif told me I should give up writing. I've always felt that he can't stand the thought that I might be any good, might be better than him.